When you’ve got a crush on someone, you’ll usually do everything in your power to keep it a secret. WRONG MOVE. How do you expect to get anywhere with someone if they never know how you feel? Josh breaks down how being open and honest about your feelings–even if it’s scary at first– not only helps you overcome your shyness, but also gets you to stop fearing rejection, boosts your confidence and, ultimately, lands you the girl.
Recently, a FIERCE reader posed a pretty poignant question on Twitter: “If you could give me advice on marriage, what would it be?”
Married folks and mujeres that were once married offered up their best bits of advice! Check them out below!
View marriage as a bonus not the piece to a missing puzzle.
My advice: don’t do it!! JUST KIDDING. my mom says, view marriage as an additional bonus to your life not as a completion . You’re an amazing complete woman on your own.” –pelucaazul
Beware the red flags.
“As someone going through a divorce: make a list of all the red flags (small and big) and play each one out and truly determine if any are problematic. The small red flags now always come back up later. Some can be worked on, some can be communicated through , but some are a sign of unsettled trauma/machismo/addictions/narcissism etc.”- _ashlyndarling
If you’re getting advice about your life, get it from the right people.
“Its between you two!!! . Dont try to fit your relationship into stereotypical molds… what works for you may not be what other ppl say! Also, dont bad talk your boo even if you’re mad and frustrated. What you feed, grows. And always remember to flirt with your husband lik y’all still dating. And, if you turn to someone for advice, make sure they understand healthy marriages. Soooooo many ppl in the world giving advice but dont have a healthy successful marrige…. be open wi th your boo, be honest, nd hve fun! Best wishes&blessings – AH.”-autumnhype
Don’t compare yourself. It’s not a tit for tat game.
“Never compare yourself to other marriages or your parent’s marriage. Your marriage is whatever you want it to be and cultivate together, this is completely up to you and your spouse. This is the most freeing thing I have ever heard and made me appreciate my marriage more!”-cathrinemolstad
Don’t put up with behaviors or treatments within marriage that your instincts are telling you are wrong.
“Married 20 years and my best advice is to trust your instincts. In my marriage what has worked is respecting my partner and expecting that same level of respect, that reciprocity goes for kindness, compassion, patience, and forgiveness too. But, ultimately, this is big, don’t marry someone if your instincts are telling you it’s wrong, don’t put up with behaviors or treatments within marriage that your instincts are telling you are wrong, and don’t stay if those same instincts are telling you it’s wrong. You know you, what you want, need, can and can’t handle. That’s the voice to defer to – not your friends, society, or family. The union should bring you and the other person great personal growth. I realize that all sounds like a high bar and it is. People get and stay married, settling for far less than they should, because there is (or they perceive) external pressures to do so. Resist this. Marriage is not for everyone and not every partner is a commit your life partner. Finally, though, it’s 2020. Marriage isn’t irreversible. If it’s not working, that’s okay and don’t take it as a failure, but an awareness of your worth and growth.”-sheexistshere
Grow with each other.
“Grow with each other. Ive been with mine for 8 years (married 2). We started dating at 16 and 19, and man have times changed. If we didn’t make mistakes, keep each other accountable, help each other figure out what we each wanted to do, we won’t be together after all this time.” –danielaherreranyc
Communication is key
“Always communicate even if it sounds like something silly and always find time for each other no matter how busy your day can be.”-lauraelnasser
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Falling in love with the right person and learning everything you can about her is easy and natural. But although you might think you know everything you can about your special lady, we bet that there are still questions that are left unanswered in your life. For one, do you know everything you can about her sexuality? Probably not. But don’t worry because learning about her in a more intimate setting is something that can help you two get closer and strengthen your relationship in the long run.
That’s where these 20 sexual questions come in. These sexy questions are all things that you can ask your girlfriend tonight, tomorrow and the next day. And they are all guaranteed to bring further intimacy and continue to build your bond. So, get to cuddling and share some details of your sexy past and even sexier future — and get ready to hear hers.
1. Have you ever skinny dipped?
This kind of question is sexy in and of itself because it forces you to talk about two things that are very alluring: Nakedness and being daring. It’s a question that can definitely create a lot more conversation and you can talk about where you’ve skinny dipped or, even better, where you want to skinny dip in the future, together.
2. Where would you love to have sex?
People can have a lot of different answers to this question, so it’s definitely one that you want to ask your girlfriend earlier on in the relationship or when you are feeling that things are getting a bit stale. It’s the kind of question that can lead to a lot of really interesting conversations, honestly. And plans. Don’t forget to make the plans.
3. What is the sexiest thing about women to you?
Women are sexy, period. And you probably already knew that since you find your girlfriend pretty darn sexy, too, but have you ever stopped to think what exactly makes her sexy to you? Ask this question of her and you both might end up surprising each other with what the conversation brings.
4. Do you like to be dominant or passive?
Every relationship is complicated and everyone’s sexual desires are complicated but you can really delve deep into your girlfriend’s desires by asking her this question. It might even spark a fuller conversation where you talk about your own preferences, too.
5. What’s the ultimate role play for you?
Role-playing is something that can take your relationship to the next level or get you out of a rut. It’s also something that can simply inspire some interesting conversations, which is why this is definitely a question that you should ask your sweetie. Maybe just wait until you’re in a really intimate moment first, though.
6. Who is your secret celebrity crush?
Talking about your celebrity crushes is a sure-fire way to invite some fun conversation and intimacy into your relationship. Of course, the key here is to ask your girlfriend about her secret crush. You know, there’s always somebody that she may name that is unexpected and will solicit more sexy questions.
7. Are you more rough or passionate?
Passion is an excelleny thing to have in a relationship but it’s definitely not the only thing. And when it comes to having sex, people tend to have a style. Some like it really rough and dirty while others like it passionate and sensual. Although neither is right or wrong, it’s good to know what your girlfriend prefers by asking her this question.
8. What kind of talk do you like, if any, in bed?
Some people like sexy talk. Some people do not. Some people like it super dirty. Some do not. You may not know exactly what your girlfriend prefers just yet because it can be an awkward subject to just bring up out of the blue, so why not ask her? This way, you’ll have something new and totally sexy to talk about in bed.
9. What’s the sexiest thing someone has done to you?
You can definitely make this a really interesting question if you ask what someone has done “to” her and “for” her. It will definitely mean two different responses, but I bet both of them will be surprising and interesting. Just don’t be afraid to share your own answer to this question, too.
10. What’s your favorite body type?
One way to talk about the things that you each find sexy is to talk about the type of bodies that you find most attractive. This can be an interesting thing to bring up but definitely make sure to only bring it up if you are comfortable in your body and relationship, since you don’t want to get jealous over what she says.
11. What’s your view on “50 shades”?
50 Shades of Grey is a book and movie franchise that changed the world or, at least, the way women behave sexually. All of a sudden, it became okay (and even encouraged!) to be kinky. But how much do you know about your girlfriend’s opinion on the books and the sexy topic? Now’s the time to ask!
12. Have you ever had sex more than once in a day?
No matter how good your sex life is, there is always room for improvement. When you are getting more intimate with your partner, you might want to know what their “record” is in terms of the most times they have ever had sex. And then, I suggest, you improve upon that number.
13. Where do you like being touched the most?
Some of us fully admit that our breasts are the most sensitive place while others love gentle little kisses behind the ears. And some of us still find something else so erotic that it makes sex even better. This is a great question to ask earlier in your relationship so that you can make sure to touch that part more and more.
14. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Sex in public is still a taboo subject but it’s one that we should be discussing more because, for some people, it’s the pinnacle of sexuality. Whether or not you are turned on by it, it’s something that you should think about and consider with your partner. That’s why you should find out if she’s ever done it in a public place.
15. What is your favorite sexual position?
Everyone has a favorite sex position and anyone who claims not to is clearly lying. This is definitely a daring question to ask your sweetie but it’s one that can lead to greater sexual satisfaction. If you know what they like (and know what you like), then you can do a lot more in the bedroom to bring pleasure to each other.
16. Have you ever been so horny that you couldn’t control yourself?
This is definitely a sexy picture and an even sexier image to have of your girlfriend, though you’ll probably want to make sure that you’re fairly secure in your relationship before bringing this one up. It’s also best to talk about this when you are having a particularly intimate moment, perhaps laying in bed at the end of the day.
17. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Who says that men are the only ones that get to enjoy strip clubs? Us ladies can love them too, and perhaps you’re even the kind of couple who has ventured out to one together. But even if you’re not, this is a fun topic to bring up with your special lady and hear about her experience.
18. Have you ever gotten with someone you weren’t allowed to?
One way to talk about taboo subjects in your relationship is to do it out in the open. That’s why you should definitely bring up whether your girlfriend has ever been with someone she wasn’t supposed to. Sure, it can lead to some interesting conversation… But it can also lead to some interesting revelations.
19. What kind of outfit would look best on me?
This is the kind of question that you’ll want to ask your girlfriend when you are feeling particularly comfortable with her. But, when it comes right down to it, it would be a good idea to know what your partner likes for you to wear… and visa versa. That way, you can both always look great for each other.
20. Have you ever tried tantric sex?
If you didn’t know this, tantric sex is about having a really intense, connected experience during sex (either by yourself or with a partner). It’s something really enjoyable that couples can enjoy together but, before you try that, you should definitely talk to your partner about whether or not she has tried it before… and what her experience was. And if not, perhaps it’s an experience you can have together.
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