Rainbow Flags and Glitter Cannons: Two Things You Won’t Find at A Gay Wedding


Just the thought of a gay wedding brings up images of rainbow streamers, go-go boy entertainment and glitter cannons covering the crowd with gay-approved decor. Now that gay marriage is legal, everyone can finally enjoy the ultra decadence and over-the-topness that can only come from a gay wedding. Let’s take a peek, shall we?

Bakeries will probably get mass orders for colorful wedding cakes.


But wait, looks like tres leches is also a gay wedding fave.

Huh, look’s like “gay wedding cake” is subjective.

At least flower girls and ring bearers will get new swag.


You get a rainbow! And you get a rainbow! Everybody gets a rainbow!

Or the little tykes can dress like they are at a straight wedding.

Adorable kids in suspenders? Why not?

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Surely the first dance will be an epic, pulse-pounding club jam.


*cue techno/dance beat* Uts. Uts. Uts.


Oof.  Looks like they love slow dancing to Dreaming of You like everyone else.

Because who grinds for their first dance?

No gay wedding is complete without a rainbow arch to stand beneath, right?


Judy Garland? Is that you?

However, it isn’t reality.

This wedding just doesn’t feel gay enough.

Of course, a ton of glitter and confetti is expected. No one parties like the gays.


Thanks, girl! I feel so ready.

Oh wait, glitter is so 2001.

Okay. Things are seeming too normal with these gay weddings.

All guests must bring their own rainbow flag to celebrate, right?


And of course half-naked men will dance on a stage near the nuptials.

 Not even a rainbow piñata full of Skittles?

Oh, come on! Where is the gayness people were so afraid of?!

Please tell me there’s a rainbow walkway.


Cities everywhere are using them so it makes sense they would appear in gay weddings.

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Nope, just a normal walk down a beige aisle here.

So, gay weddings are just like other weddings? Who would have thought?

Surely guests will up their gay game for the reception, right?

Credit: Frank L. Jones / Facebook

So shiny!

Wrong again.

The gay gods are crying right now.

Guess it’s time to stop calling them gay weddings.

They all just look just like… weddings.

Because weddings are about love and unity not your sexual orientation.

So, the reception won’t be anything like a Saturday night out?


Let’s hope Nick Jonas starts touring on the wedding circuit!

Just when we thought we had figured it out…

Well, looks like some things will never change.

Have you been to a gay wedding? mitú wants to know. Tell us in the comments below.

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