Culture

Rainbow Flags and Glitter Cannons: Two Things You Won’t Find at A Gay Wedding

Weddings

Just the thought of a gay wedding brings up images of rainbow streamers, go-go boy entertainment and glitter cannons covering the crowd with gay-approved decor. Now that gay marriage is legal, everyone can finally enjoy the ultra decadence and over-the-topness that can only come from a gay wedding. Let’s take a peek, shall we?

Bakeries will probably get mass orders for colorful wedding cakes.

http://viral-creek.tumblr.com/post/106902977364/7-tier-multi-colored-rainbow-cake

But wait, looks like tres leches is also a gay wedding fave.

At least flower girls and ring bearers will get new swag.

http://maichan808.tumblr.com/post/122746073677/kids-families-sf-pride-parade-2015

Or the little tykes can dress like they are at a straight wedding.

Surely the first dance will be an epic, pulse-pounding club jam.

http://micdotcom.tumblr.com/post/122784768957/watch-new-yorks-finest-danced-it-out-at-the

Oof.  Looks like they love slow dancing to Dreaming of You like everyone else.

No gay wedding is complete without a rainbow arch to stand beneath, right?

http://alittlecraftinyourday.tumblr.com/post/123063385345/diy-baloon-arch

However, it isn’t reality.

Of course, a ton of glitter and confetti is expected. No one parties like the gays.

http://realitytvgifs.tumblr.com/post/47676102641/mariah-carey-showers-a-fan-in-glitter

Oh wait, glitter is so 2001.

All guests must bring their own rainbow flag to celebrate, right?

http://jockz.tumblr.com/post/42332673431

 Not even a rainbow piñata full of Skittles?

Please tell me there’s a rainbow walkway.

http://logan-darrow.tumblr.com/post/124390427578/capital-hill-crosswalk-seattle

Nope, just a normal walk down a beige aisle here.

Surely guests will up their gay game for the reception, right?

GayMariachi
Credit: Frank L. Jones / Facebook

So shiny!

Wrong again.

Guess it’s time to stop calling them gay weddings.

They all just look just like… weddings.

So, the reception won’t be anything like a Saturday night out?

http://love-jonato.tumblr.com/post/97855816653/nick-jonas-having-some-fun-at-a-gay-nightclub

Just when we thought we had figured it out…

Have you been to a gay wedding? mitú wants to know. Tell us in the comments below.

A Michigan Woman Doesn’t Understand Why People Are Calling Her MAGA-Themed Wedding Racist Because Her Husband Is Black

Things That Matter

A Michigan Woman Doesn’t Understand Why People Are Calling Her MAGA-Themed Wedding Racist Because Her Husband Is Black

It’s 2019 and there is no denying the people have had their fair share of witnessing cringy racist moments. We’ve seen some caca. Walmart confrontations from seemingly sweet grandmas telling Latinos to go “back to Mexico” and midnight Twitter rants from the U.S. president have become our new normal. Nothing really makes us bat an eye anymore. Nothing I tell you. Nada. Or, so I thought.

You see, recently I saw that a couple from Kalamazoo, Michigan had a# MAGAPatriotWedding and was trending on Twitter and I was mostly like…

VH1 / GIF

Yes mi gente. This was my actual reaction.

But then I clicked in and saw the photos and I was like…

Monster-in-Law / New Line Cinema 

And it honestly felt good. Because it means I haven’t, and hopefully, we haven’t become immune to offensive people. That we refuse to stand up for it!

Anyway, here we go:

A couple from Kalamazoo, Michigan, had a#MAGAPATRIOTWEDDING!

ICK.

According to CBS News, Audra Johnson married her husband in a traditional plain but changed into a dress that was more representative of her true love? Johnson made an appearance during the wedding reception in a white gown with sparkly red lettering that read Donald Trump’s campaign slogan “Make America Great Again.”

It gets better.

The mermaid dress had a train that had the words “TRUMP” in red glitter too. 

What’s more, Johnson had her bridesmaids wear blue gowns and the dreadful red MAGA hats.

In an interview with CBS, Johnson said that the dress was originally meant to have a patriotic-theme. Then, she reached out to dress designer Andre Sorian who is a notorious Trump supporter and creates red-white-and-blue gowns that have included a “Trump 2020” dresses.

Recently Soriano’s made waves with his gowns at the Grammy Awards.

Black  singer Joy Villa wore the dress to the 2017 Grammys.

BUT the dress isn’t about THAT deplorable its about this newly wedded one. So anyway:

Johnson decided she wanted to wear Sorian’s dress on her wedding day and traveled to D.C. to have it made.

#magapatriotwedding

Posted by Audra Johnson on Monday, July 8, 2019

“It took four days of him doing measurements and putting the dress together,” Johnson told CBS News. “But it was amazing. Him and his husband are fabulous.” 

Johnson wasn’t the only one to wear something tacky to her wedding.

Her wedding guests were invited to wear “patriotic” gear as well AND bring guns to the wedding.

Tumblr. Giphy.com

The groom, Jeff Johnson–is a Black Marine veteran who apparently has been MIA when it comes to the newsfeeds coverage of Black people in gun-packed Trump Country– and wore his dress uniform. He made sure to also hold onto a gun in his photos.

Speaking about the decision to have guns, Johnson said that “Being a patriotic wedding, we really did encourage people to do whatever they felt comfortable with if they wanted to open-carry if they wanted to conceal-carry.”

Johnson said that her maid of honor is a Democrat and didn’t feel comfortable wearing a MAGA hat. “She said, ‘You know I love you, but I don’t feel comfortable wearing a MAGA hat,'” Johnson explained. “I said, ‘That’s fine, we can find you a plain red one to wear.’ We were able to compromise on that. We can believe differently but still very much love each other.”

Of course, photos of the MAGA wedding has generated quite a bit of social media traction.

#magapatriotwedding

Posted by Audra Johnson on Sunday, July 7, 2019

“It’s been absolutely crazy,” Johnson said. “Amazing patriots said they love the dress and support us. But then there’s the other side, where we’ve gotten threats, and there’s been really nasty comments.”

“A lot of the comments are ‘It’s a racist wedding.’ I’m the granddaughter of a Filipino immigrant, my husband’s black,” Johnson said. “I think what I want people to take from this is there’s a stereotype of Trump supporters flying around out there and maybe some of them are like that, but most of us aren’t like that.” 

Um okay. In either case, I guess congratulations to the r̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶ bride and her r̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶ husband.

A Woman Tweeted A Pic Of Her Mother-In-Law Dressed As A Bride At Her Own Wedding But The Picture Doesn’t Do the Story Justice

Things That Matter

A Woman Tweeted A Pic Of Her Mother-In-Law Dressed As A Bride At Her Own Wedding But The Picture Doesn’t Do the Story Justice

When it comes to wedding taboos, actual ceremonies can be a minefield for disaster. From appropriate colors to wear, types of headgear (never wear a tiara if it’s not your day!), and dance floor gags and wedding toasts, it seems that when it comes to W-day anything can go wrong.

Especially when guests with free-minds are attending.

Likely no one has a keener understanding of wedding day madness than Twitter user Amy Pennza who recently shared a post to Twitter of possibly the worst wedding faux pas occurrence ever. Turns out it also happened at her very own wedding in 2004.

Pennza’s own mother-in-law showed up to her ceremony wearing a long, white gown ― AKA, a wedding dress.

Fortunately, Pennza explained the incident in a thread to her account and as it turns out the nightmarish moment and the MIL are much more redeemable than we’d ever thought. According to Pennza, the MIL, who continues to struggle with letting go of her early years as a child in poverty, could not pass up on a sale at Dillard’s.

Fortunately, Pennza’s post unleashed a series of more tweets about similarly nightmarish stories.

Such as this bride’s madre y suegra match.

Can anyone say “twinning”?

And this novia’s big flop moment in front of a camera.

This bride says that in an innocent attempt to reinvent the Pinterest classic, she ended up eating it.

This officiant’s super odd replacement for communion.

BUT tbh this Boricua’s officiant gets it ride. Dunkin’ truly is the bread of life.

This Latina who got tricked and broke off the engagement.

Oof. Actually this horrific story sounds like a nightmare. Here’s hoping the groom grew up right quick after this.

This mujer whose mother literally LOST her wedding dress.

My girl. How does a wedding dress fly off of an actual car?? Can’t imagine how this poor girl’s mother felt after this happened. Fortunately, the thrift bride was able to find a replacement dress on time!

A destination wedding that has already been abandoned before it took off.

Okay but for real… doesn’t everyone low-key assume that a destination wedding is supposed to exclude?

This story of abuela serving the ultimate mal de ojo.

Ay yay yay. This story of a Latina who had previously been married being shamed just before she walked down the aisle could have been the worst, fortunately she served her own snap back.

This poor bride who was called a racial slur.

Unfortunately, stupid is as stupid does and stupid does exist in the world. Even at weddings. Fortunately this bride who was called a “dirty Mexican” during a drunken toast took things in stride.

And finally a sweet story to beat them all.

This one might definitely make you rethink how you pick out your groom’s men and flower girls but it’s still pretty cute.

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