The kitchen may often be the most fun place in the house, sure, but for Latinos, it’s also an obstacle course of madness, music and mazes of Tupperware. For example…
Prime oven real estate is taken up by pots and pans.
Oh, did you want to heat something up? Better spend half an hour trying to put pots and pans into cabinets. (Which sucks for you, because the cabinets hold towers of Tupperware that WILL fall down on your head as you open the cabinet doors.)
And finding a plastic bag in the cabinet means digging yourself out from under a pile of them.
Double-check and make sure the plastic bag you took out isn’t filled with 127 other plastic bags.
Your family thinks the kitchen is the best place to dance.
Juan Luis Guerra will be invited to every dinner, and you’re just going to have to deal with that.
Like bread? You’d goddamn better.
You’re lucky your birthday cake wasn’t a candle stuck in a piece of white bread.
Forgetting the tortilla will ruin your whole day.
Don’t check your texts. Don’t look out the window. Don’t even think. Just stare at the tortilla and pray.
And you can’t even ask a simple question around here!
Oh, did you want a burger? Some fries? Did you want to even think about soda? HA, THINK AGAIN!
The struggle, man. The struggle.
What kitchen struggle have you dealt with? And can you give me a ride to get fries? I won’t tell our moms.