If even your “small” brindis parties have upwards of 30 people, you probably have a huge family. Below are a few things people who’ve lost track of how many primos they have know to be true:
1. Introducing bae to the family is a huge commitment.
Credit: Zi Italy / Giphy
Not just because there are more people judging, but because you need at least two* hours to go through all the intros and explain everyone’s relationship to one another.
*Estimate does not include time needed to study 785,329 notecards with each family member’s name.
2. And you’re still not 100% sure how some people in your extended family are related.
Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures / Giphy
The ongoing dilemma: As a kid, no one told you how your Tia Titi can be your aunt if she’s an only child. And now as an adult, it’s too late to ask. (Better call everyone tio or tia, just in case.)
3. You secretly love the shock value of telling someone how many cousins you have.
And yes, you’re close with all of them.
4. You have more babysitting experience than most of your friends.
Adults who don’t know how to change diapers is a foreign concept; you were a pro by the third grade.
5. You always know what kids/teens are into these days.
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Because you have at least three cousins per age group at all times.
6. You know that calling an elder is a more efficient way to spread news than social media.
Credit: PBS / mybigfatcubanfamily.com
Facebook’s algorithm ain’t got nothing on abuelita’s 76-member-deep phone chain.
7. Small weddings are nonexistent.
“¿Niña, cuando te vas a casar?”
“As soon as I can afford to invite the 173 people on your list, abuela.”
8. You can’t go anywhere without running into family.
At this point, you don’t even have to tell your friends why you just stopped to hug someone in the middle of the street. “Let me guess… another cousin?”
9. That is, of course, assuming you weren’t already out with your cousins.
Because pachanga skills run deep in your blood.
10. Group pictures with all the cousins are for special occasions only.
And still probably require Photoshop to fit everyone in.
11. Your list for quince courts and wedding parties might be in the double digits.
There will be no choosing favorites.
12. You regularly see your second, third and fourth cousins.
And all your life heard your friends say, “I’ve never even met mine!” (And that’s still weird to you).
13. You share birthday parties.
Corporate office-style, month-by-month. Hey, it’s just more efficient.
14. Even religious celebrations are never boring!
There were probably more kids and relajo at your first communion party than in all of your second-grade class.
15. In fact, just about every occasion turns into a party.
Long and loud social nights out don’t faze you. Growing up, they were just called funerals.
16. Your family never leaves you alone.
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Want a nap alone at tia’s? Good luck with that. #NoHayCamaPaTantaGente
17. Especially when you need them the most.
Big families during a time of sorrow are like sponges; you have each other to soak up the heartache with you.
18. You know that your big, giant family is basically the greatest blessing in your life.
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And the reason why you yourself want to have as many children as possible. (Just keep in mind that abuela’s baby shower invite list isn’t getting any shorter.)
READ: The Most Awkward Things About Being The Only Girl In Your Family
What’s something you go through with your over-sized familia? Mitú wants to know. Leave a comment below!
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