Guys, we need to talk. There’s a problem gripping Latinos across the globe, and it isn’t being discussed nearly enough:

That Awkward Moment When You Don’t Know How To Say Hello

You’re standing there, face to face with a new person, asking yourself…

Do I Go In For A Handshake?

Would I Seem Rude And Gringafied If I Initiate The Handshake?

And If I Start The Handshake, Should I Be The One To End It?

What If I Lean Forward And They Think It’s Gonna Be A Kiss?

What If We Do That Thing Where We Shake Hands AND Kiss?

Or What If We Become Caught Between Kisses And End Up Kissing ON THE MOUTH?

What If…

Oh God. It’s almost too horrible to even imagine, but…

What If They Try To Hug Me?!

(Would It Be Socially Acceptable To Cry And Run Away?)

#BanHugs

Like, I Can’t Very Well Ask “Hi, Are You Another Latino Who Kisses Hello?”

Or Even “Are You The ‘One And Done’ Type Of Latino, Or The ‘Sixteen Kisses On Each Cheek’ Type?”

Why Can’t I Just Read People’s Minds?

What If I Go In For A High Five?

Oh God, Oh God, What If They Do One Of Those Complicated Handshakes With Multiple Moves?

Can’t We Just Yell Out What We’re Going To Do?

Or Wear Name Tags Stating Our Preference?

“Hello, my name is DO NOT HUG.”

OK. Time to just dive in and hope for the best.

READ: An Open Letter To Latinos Who Can’t Dance: You’re Not Alone, Man

Have you ever been in this awkward position? What’s your go-to tactic: Handshake? Kiss? Run away crying?

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com