identities

If You Were A Dormilón You’ll Recognize All These Ways Our Moms Woke Us Up For School

@ThiaFireproof / @BrennanLawPA / Twitter

LA schools are working on starting their days later because more and more young people are not getting the sleep they need. I wish this had been the law when I was growing up, because getting out of bed was a struggle. I had a mom, who like most moms had no time or help, and definitely had no patience when it came to me wanting to sleep in.

You know how it starts, just like I do:

You somehow stayed up late watching TV with the brightness down and close captions on.

Nickelodeon GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
Via: Giphy / Hey Arnold!

Because you know mami’s hearing is better than a fruit bat and she wasn’t having no late nights.

Then, at some point around 3am, you decide, “okay, I can probably go to bed now, I’ll get 5 hours, I’ll be fine.”

When you’re negotiating with yourself and doing that sleep-math, you know you’re screwed.

The alarm goes off, and if you blink once, you’re done.

The warning label for alarm clocks should read “WARNING: Hours can pass in the blink of an eye.”

But there’s one alarm that isn’t snoozed so easily.

It’s mami and she knows JUST how to get your ass out of bed. Your mom has a list of ways to get you up and out the door. And they go a little something like this:

1. “El cuco viene a despertarte…”

Credit: Giphy / Harry Potter

There’s nothing that will get you in or out of bed faster than an “El Cuco” threat. And you know mami has him on speed dial.

2. “Te bañas o te baño.”

Nothing like a good shower to wake you up. Too bad it happened while you were still in bed.

3. “¿Quieres la chancla?”

Whether she’s ever used it on your or not, you don’t want to test her this early in the morning. A chancletazo would mess up your day big time – especially if you had to tell your friends later. They’d never let you live it down.

4. Switching the lights on and off.

“Yes, ma. Simulating a thunderstorm is going to wake me up real quick…”

5. Shouting, clapping, screaming, singing, blasting the radio, shouting again.

Anything to shake you out of your sleep-fog.

6. Pulling you out of the bed by your feet.

Or when that doesn’t work, straight up ripping the covers off and leaving you there shivering.

7. Jumping on your bed.

She wouldn’t do this one often, but if she had to, it was going down, mijo.

Via: Giphy / Boy Meets World

But that doesn’t matter as long as you’re following mami’s rules at home, coño!


READ: Anyone Who Ever Hated Going To Church Will Relate To Doing These 9 Things


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These Are The Facebook Habits Of Latino Families That We All Know To Be True

identities

These Are The Facebook Habits Of Latino Families That We All Know To Be True

Modern Family/ABC/Giphy

Way back when, Facebook was only for college students. Now, everyone under the sun can add you as a friend and that usually means your mami, papi, primas, tias, tíos, vecinos, padrinos are going to be all up in your friend requests. But there is something special about family members on Facebook that is endearing yet sometimes annoying. Here are the things almost all Latinos on Facebook know to be true about their family.

One thing Latinos know to be true about their Facebook presence is that they are always on top of it.

https://twitter.com/woahazul/status/837081889798303744

This is a real problem.

They love Facebook so much, they even baptized it with a new name.

Also commonly known as ‘el face.’

They go through some extreme social media crossovers.

There’s nowhere to hide.

They love to watch videos of nothing in particular and demand that you look at it.

Yes, mami, it’s a funny video of a dog dancing merengue and I saw it already.

If they have something to say, they’ll make sure everyone knows.

They’re just using this as another thing to threaten you with!

…even when some topics should be private.

Ayyy.

No English? No problem. They are more than happy to translate your latest updates to let all the non-English speaking family know what you’re up to.

“Aqui, mijita hablando con las primas en la sala.”

If you’re their child/cousin/nephew, etc., they will claim you.

https://twitter.com/IAmTheErnie/status/854171752334843904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwearemitu.com%2Fwp-admin%2Fpost.php%3Fpost%3D74830%26action%3Dedit

They have to make sure everyone knows who they are.

But one thing is certain: they have very good manners and thank people for liking their posts.

There is something very endearing about this.

And they love a good #TBT.

They basically created the hashtag.

They unknowingly embarrass you with ill-timed comments like this just to say hello.

If they only knew.

To them, there is no boundary on where and when they give you saludos…

https://twitter.com/sofia_michellee/status/705289687556972544

Any post is literally fair game.

…And those messages will often be very long, but sweet.

It’s hard to be mad at this, though.

But honestly, nothing will boost your confidence more than your family on Facebook.

https://twitter.com/monica_alveezy/status/824804560803868672

And they somehow always get you 935874 more likes on a photo when they like it.

So, if you add your family on el Face, get ready for entertainment, shoutouts, and lots of saludos.

CREDIT: Modern Family/ABC via Giphy

It could be worse, right?


READ: 13 Hilarious Posts Your Tías Have Published On Facebook

What are some of the funniest/weirdest things you’ve noticed from your family on Facebook? Let us know in the comments. Keep them short, though. 😉

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