identities

If You Are A Chismosa, You Definitely Know These 9 Stages Of Chisme

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There is nothing in life than than gets you more excited than some well-timed, super juicy chisme. Doesn’t matter if you know the people involved or not, as soon as you catch wind of some hot gossip you turn full detective, spokesperson, and messenger (because you have to keep the crew informed). Social media has only made the chismosa in all of us more active because now you don’t even have to be in the same room to get the latest scoop.

Here are all the stages you go through with chisme from start to finish.

You kind of lose your sh*t when you first hear (or read) the latest chisme.

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Like, OMG. Can you believe what Vanessa just said about Horacio? Time to get more details.

Once you know it’s even half legit, you find ways to creep into any conversation about either party involved.

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Even if it means befriending someone that you had a major falling out with, you will find a way to get more of the story. You’re basically an investigator trying to gather all the facts before spreading the news with the squad.

Once you learn the juiciest details, the time comes to decide who you want to tell first.

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You start by being selective and only telling that one person you trust, but soon enough your tías, friends, neighbors, tu peluquera María, even your dog starts to get all the deets and they are living for it.

Of course, you cover your bases with the “you didn’t hear from me” line.

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Solid way to keep your name out of the drama because with all these chismosas in your life, you don’t know which one of them may accidentally slip your name when they retell the story.

You always have to act surprised when someone close to the situation opens up to you about the chisme.

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Me: “OMG. When did this happen? That’s so crazy!” ?

One of your friends is bound to let slip that you are spreading the news but you are prepared with your defense.

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And that defense is total denial. You didn’t say a thing, got it?

Finally, your Superbowl arrives. Sh*t is about to go down and you have to be there to witness the main event.

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It has been simmering for mooonths and you are about to get the payoff. You’ve invested time, resources, and brain power to following this chisme so you have to see it to the end.

You, very stealthily, make your way over to the spot where it is all about to go down.

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But who are you rooting for? What is going to happen? Will there be a fight? Is this the end of a friendship? Nerves are on end and you just can’t bear the anxiety as the journey comes to a close.

Once you are there, the only thing to do is to find a good, hidden spot, and get ready to watch it all unfold.

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Let’s not forget. All of the people in your circle want to know what goes down so you take notes, pictures, videos, and you might even livestream it. Everyone deserves closure and this is the best way to get it.

We want to know…


READ: Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

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We Asked For Your Worst Roommate Stories And Here Are The Craziest Ones We Got

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We Asked For Your Worst Roommate Stories And Here Are The Craziest Ones We Got

Leaving your parents’ house and moving into your own place can be one of the most exciting, liberating, stressful and difficult experiences you can go through, but it all depends on one thing: your roommates.

Just like that, your roommates hold the power to turn this liberating experience into your worst nightmare and cause you to go running back to your parents’ house. Don’t believe us? Check these roommate horror stories out…

Having a roommate can either be a total blast or turn out to be a complete disaster. We asked mitú readers to share with us their absolute worst roommate stories, and here is what they told us…

CREDIT: @NATALIAESTRADA_ / TWITTER

WHAT THE?!… This is not exactly what we expected.

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How is this possible?

Based on the above, we caution you to try to control the amount of guests your roommates bring into your place.

CREDIT: ANONYMOUS

Because as Latinos, you know if you invite one person, you invite the entire family.

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That is way too many people…and for 6 MONTHS?! Hell naw. I would’ve told them what my mom says, “¿Que creen? ¿Que esta casa es un hotel?”

And sometimes those guests may turn out to be complete strangers…

CREDIT: @ADUHDELGADO / TWITTER

Or pets carrying pets.

CREDIT: ABC

SMH. That is not cool.

But the worst kind of roommate is probably the roommate who likes to use your belongings without asking.

CREDIT: @ROZIIC / TWITTER

We’ve all been there, but the above is just plain DIS-GUS-TING.


Pro tip: Buy a shower caddy, hide it under your bed and only take it to the bathroom when you’re going to use it.

Even more annoying is when you confront your roommate about taking something and they get defensive and deny that they ever touched your things.

CREDIT: SUSANA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

The lesson here is don’t eat people’s Twinkies because you will get caught!

If someone ate my food without asking, this is how I would’ve reacted:


That’s just something you don’t mess with – someone’s food.

The roommate situation gets even more frustrating when your roommate ruins your belongings…on purpose!

CREDIT: SUSANA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

Well at least that roommate was able to get her payback.

But a bad roommate listicle wouldn’t be complete without a sex story.

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Oh no no noooooo.

CREDIT: ABC

That ain’t right!!

And these roommate sex stories only get worse.

CREDIT: @ARIALDV / TWITTER

Well I guess they didn’t care too much about privacy…

And worse…? Ever heard the phrase “get a room, este no es un hotel”?

CREDIT: @FITGATOR89 / TWITTER

Damn. These roommate stories make me appreciate my roommates a lot more. ?


READ: How My Life Changed When My Best Friend Got Pregnant


What are your nightmare roommate stories? Let us know in the comments and hit the share button below!