If You Are A Chismosa, You Definitely Know These 9 Stages Of Chisme

credit: mitú

There is nothing in life than than gets you more excited than some well-timed, super juicy chisme. Doesn’t matter if you know the people involved or not, as soon as you catch wind of some hot gossip you turn full detective, spokesperson, and messenger (because you have to keep the crew informed). Social media has only made the chismosa in all of us more active because now you don’t even have to be in the same room to get the latest scoop.

Here are all the stages you go through with chisme from start to finish.

You kind of lose your sh*t when you first hear (or read) the latest chisme.

CREDIT: mitú

Like, OMG. Can you believe what Vanessa just said about Horacio? Time to get more details.

Once you know it’s even half legit, you find ways to creep into any conversation about either party involved.

CREDIT: mitú

Even if it means befriending someone that you had a major falling out with, you will find a way to get more of the story. You’re basically an investigator trying to gather all the facts before spreading the news with the squad.

Once you learn the juiciest details, the time comes to decide who you want to tell first.

CREDIT: mitú

You start by being selective and only telling that one person you trust, but soon enough your tías, friends, neighbors, tu peluquera María, even your dog starts to get all the deets and they are living for it.

Of course, you cover your bases with the “you didn’t hear from me” line.

CREDIT: mitú

Solid way to keep your name out of the drama because with all these chismosas in your life, you don’t know which one of them may accidentally slip your name when they retell the story.

You always have to act surprised when someone close to the situation opens up to you about the chisme.

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Me: “OMG. When did this happen? That’s so crazy!” ?

One of your friends is bound to let slip that you are spreading the news but you are prepared with your defense.

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And that defense is total denial. You didn’t say a thing, got it?

Finally, your Superbowl arrives. Sh*t is about to go down and you have to be there to witness the main event.

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It has been simmering for mooonths and you are about to get the payoff. You’ve invested time, resources, and brain power to following this chisme so you have to see it to the end.

You, very stealthily, make your way over to the spot where it is all about to go down.

CREDIT: mitú

But who are you rooting for? What is going to happen? Will there be a fight? Is this the end of a friendship? Nerves are on end and you just can’t bear the anxiety as the journey comes to a close.

Once you are there, the only thing to do is to find a good, hidden spot, and get ready to watch it all unfold.

CREDIT: mitú

Let’s not forget. All of the people in your circle want to know what goes down so you take notes, pictures, videos, and you might even livestream it. Everyone deserves closure and this is the best way to get it.

We want to know…


READ: Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

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