Fierce

From Strained Family Ties To Outright Abuse, These Women Opened Up About Interracial Dating

Many of us date people from different cultures and backgrounds. We asked our FIERCE community if they had stories related to the issues they had dating someone of a different ethnicity and the responses were enlightening, hopeful and sometimes even a bit heartbreaking.

Differences can be overwhelming but interest is super key.

“For me was so difficult. I’m Mexican, raise and born in Mexico and I was dating with a Xicano man, but he never was into the Mexican culture… long story short, we broke up. Some differences were overwhelming.”

Expressing excitement over exchanging cultures goes a long way.

“My husband of 13 years is a white American while I’m Mexican American, first born generation of immigrants. He loves my heritage and appreciates my family. He gravitates toward our culture because his family doesn’t really have anything like that except being American, which is kind of boring to him. They know they are a big mix of English, Irish, and Scottish with some Dutch and German but that’s really the extent of it… he’s also learned Spanish and went with me to live in Cuernavaca for a month to study.”

The sad truth is that fear of being judged or mistreated sometimes keeps us from such fulfilling relationships.

“We don’t. We get dirty looks everywhere we go. I’m either a traitor or a thief.”

Previous interactions with other races and proper communication are vital

“I think both of us being bi-racial (myself being Ecuadorian and Irish, my bf being Black and Polish) has shown us that there are many different ways to do the same thing and that not all things are as they appear. When we run into those cultural differences, it helps to try to see the duality of the situation. Communication and respect are [key].”

You can both learn about your cultures together.

whitemenblackwomendating / Instagram

“I play him the Mexican survival guide videos. Very accurate, also lots of communication!”

Talk about the shared struggles of your cultures.

italian_stallionne / Instagram

” I’m really passionate about this topic. I’m Mexican-American & my husband is South African. Like my parents, he’s an immigrant. A white immigrant. While the differences of being a white immigrant and a Mexican one are obvious, it’s the shared struggles & similar perspectives that are worth highlighting.
One perspective that has struck me is when my husband said, “I noticed Americans don’t make eye contact. In South Africa we at least acknowledge a person by doing so….” then I sarcastically thought to myself, ‘wow, what an idea. People recognizing the existence of other human beings.” Though I am guilty of this! BUT. Why am I guilty of this? Could it be that I was raised to acknowledge others even if it meant hugging every tia & tio in the room? Or my favorite, less intimidating way of respectfully recognizing that your fellow humans are present while also respecting your boundaries: greeting a room full of strangers with a smile & a “buenos días,” as you sit quietly in an open chair at the doctors office? But we don’t do this in America, at least not where I’m from. Most of us tend to do the opposite of acknowledge each other.
So back to the point:
we navigate our cultural differences by having these kinds of dialogues; connecting the dots. Mapping out how different humans attempt to figure out this crazy world we live where a wild fascination with the color of skin & borders exist. Who are we when we let go of our country & our skin?”

Speak up but also listen and learn.

“I’m Mexican and my bf is black/puerto rican my family has knew about him before when I talked to him in high school but they never really liked the fact that we were together so they separated me from him and made me switch high schools my senior year it was hard I talked to other people the two years we lost contact but realized he’s my happiness and now I gave us another chance without my family knowing I’m still figuring out how I’m going to let everyone know Ik that some of my family will shut me out because they are really old school/ traditional Mexicans and what me to be with someone of my race and my beliefs but we love each other so we are gonna make this work.”

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

interracialkissing / Instagram

“Respect, appreciation and being open to conversation. He still thinks I’m a little crazy for wanting to one day pierce our future daughter’s ears.”

When you have kids, be sure keep your families involved.

“Been in a 10 year relationship. My husband is Asian and it’s been so hard even til now. His family has a hard time dealing with the fact that he is with a Mexican woman. We have two kids and I can count with one hand how many times they have seen my kids. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. My son looks completely Asian and my daughter looks mixed. Just a few days ago he asked me why me and his dad look so different and I told him we are from two different ethnicities, different parts of the world. He said he wished he was only Mexican and looked like mommy  it’s hard because my family is all he’s ever had. We try to visit his family but they always say they are busy. Being in a interracial relationship has been so hard for me. It’s been so draining they even encouraged him to cheat in the beginning of our marriage. I’m drained, don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I know this is not the case for all interracial relationships but it’s been hell for me.”

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Announced They Were “Stepping Back” From Royal Life, Sending Twitter Into An Uproar

Entertainment

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Announced They Were “Stepping Back” From Royal Life, Sending Twitter Into An Uproar

@um_bamar / Twitter

In a bombshell announcement, Duke and Duchess of Sussex–more affectionately known to the public as Harry and Meghan–released a statement on Wednesday revealing that they would be “stepping back” from their official duties as senior members of the British royal family. 

The announcement came after months of speculations as to how the famous couple would respond to the maelstrom of negative press the duo–and especially Meghan–have been facing from the British tabloids. 

The Sussexes revealed that they would be “balancing” their time between the UK and North America, and that they are doing so to “provide their family with the space to focus on the next chapter”.

“After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution,” the Sussexes said via multiple social media channels. “We intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen”.

And while the abrupt announcement was surprising for everyone, the move also comes after Harry and Meghan have long hinted at their discontent with their roles in the spotlight. 

The dissatisfaction seemed to reach a fever-pitch around the time that the couple appeared in the ITV documentary “Harry & Meghan: An African Journey”.  Both Harry and Meghan were candid about their struggle to endure the British media spotlight, with Harry saying, “…Every single time I see a camera, every single time I hear a click, every single time I see a flash, it takes me straight back [to my mother’s death]”.

As for Queen Elizabeth, the monarch released a statement saying that the discussions with the Sussexes are still in an “early stage” and the issue is “complicated”.

Since then, multiple outlets have reported that the entirety of Buckingham palace was “caught off guard” by the Sussexes’ decision. The British media is reporting that the Sussexes did not consult with Buckingham palace before either making the decision or announcing it. Sources close to the royal family say that while the queen is “sad”, Prince Charles (who is next in line to inherit the throne), is “furious”.

“There is fury over how they’ve done this without any thought for the implications for the institution,” a source recently told Page Six. “The Queen is deeply upset. The Prince of Wales and Duke of Cambridge are incandescent with rage.”

As for England’s reaction to the shocking news, the public opinion seems to be firmly divided into camps both “pro” and “against” “Megxit”.

While one Londoner expressed her support for Meghan and Harry to NBC News, saying she “can’t really blame them” for their decision to leave, another expressed their disappointment.  “It’s like, ‘We’ve now given you a ton of money, what do we get in return?,'” said a student named Frederick Bathurst, adding that his mother found their decision “disgraceful”. 

And while the Sussexes’ decision to step down from royal duties is surprising, it is not unprecedented. As any devotee of royalist media like “The King’s Speech” and “The Crown” will tell you, a similar situation to this has happened before, when King Edward abdicated the throne in 1936 in order to live in peace with his American girlfriend, Wallis Simpson. And while that situation worked out in the end, the aftermath was difficult to deal with for the Royal family.

Within minutes of the Sussexes’ announcement, both Harry and Meghan’s names were trending on Twitter.

Although Americans like to pretend they’re above being invested in the British Royal Family, their reactions to “Megxit” told a completely different story. The hilarious Tweets and reaction memes were enough to keep us entertained for hours.

Here is actual footage of the Royal Family reading Meghan & Harry’s statement

While Harry and Meghan are hoping that this decision will protect them from the media, something tells us that the media scrutiny is going to be stronger than ever.

Of course, there was tons of speculation as to what Harry’s mother would think if she were still alive:

We wonder if lingering trauma over Diana’s death had anything to do with this decision.

This person imagined what #Megxit would be like as a Reddit post:

This couldn’t be more accurate. 

There were also tons of takes on the Sussexes desire to become “financially independent” from the Royal family:

If there’s one thing for sure, Prince Harry has a very particular set of skills that might not be useful to everyone.

Here’s How To Maintain A Long-Lasting And Healthy Relationship According To Advice From Reddit Grandmas

Fierce

Here’s How To Maintain A Long-Lasting And Healthy Relationship According To Advice From Reddit Grandmas

@Samkelwe14 / Twitter

When it comes to relationships, there’s no doubt that some good advice can go a long way. Whether you’re in your early days or headed down the aisle, we found the best advice Reddit could give for you to apply for your blossoming relationship.

Check it out below!

Do two tasks for your partner and don’t make a big deal out of it.

“For me, my grandfather gave me the best advice. He said, ‘choose two things to do around the house that she never has to ask you to do. Do the best job you can do and take pride in it but never draw attention to or complain about it. Just do it and expect nothing in return.’ I cook dinner and do the dishes/cleanup cooking messes. It took my wife almost a year to notice. When she did however I would find my laundry was magically done on its own, folded and put away. When I told her she doesn’t have to do my laundry she stated “you always cook and clean for me! I figured it was the least I could do!” – u/Ironwolf9876

Be selfless between the sheets

” I feel like this same goes for sex – do that little bit extra to make your partner feel sexy and special every time. A little bit of selflessness on both sides adds up to a world of extra pleasure for each.” – philipjeremypatrick

Don’t always go for 50/50.

“The one I heard is “healthy relationships are not 50/50. Each person should be putting in 100%.” – reddit user

Give your S.O. the benefit of the doubt.

“The best relationship advice I have heard came from an interview Michael J Fox did where he talked about how his marriage had lasted so long. He said ‘We give each other the benefit of the doubt.’ If your SO does something thatakes you worried, angry or sad, ask them to tell you their side of the story before you let your emotions run wild. There is probably a reasonable explanation and a good reason for how he/she acted. That will help avoid a lot of conflicts and foster trust.” – Loive

If you’re arguing to win you’ve already lost.

“You shouldn’t be arguing trying to prove that you’re right or that she is wrong. You should be communicating what you each see the situation as and come to a mutual understanding or agreement. Relationships aren’t a competition. Even if you guys end up not agreeing, at least you’ll know why it upsets the other person and will know not to do that because it negatively affects them.” – cdotace

Be sure they’re the one.

“My mother asked me the night i proposed to my wife if i was sure i wanted to be with her. It made me mad in the moment, but i realized she made a valid point. 6 years and twin boys later, I have never been more sure about a decision in my life. Thanks mom.” – sillysimon12

Get married when you’re poor.

“I was fortunate enough to be invited to a party where there were several elderly couples. At the time, I was in my early twenties, and decided to take advantage of the opportunity. A couple in attendance had been married for over 60 years. I asked them, “What advice do you have for a young person like me? The woman said, ‘Get married when you’re dirt poor…’ My mind was blown. I thought to myself, “Wow, that is some incredible advice. Literally start a life together, and build it up from nothing. That would create an unbreakable bond and friendship.’ Then she finished with ‘… so you can’t afford to get divorced!'” – MutantCoach

Say I love you before you leave for work in the morning.

“1. Say I love you (and mean it) every morning before you leave for work. You may not see them again. 2. If they regularly do something small that annoys you, first see if you are able to stop being annoyed by it before asking them to change.” – Reddit user 

How do you do the little things.

“To achieve an amazing relationship, you need to consider what you do in the little things. What your girlfriend/wife is like when she greets you at the front door, over the table at breakfast, etc. These little things add up to 80% of the success of your relationship. Dedicate yourself and be focused completely in the moment in these little moments and you will achieve the best relationship that you have ever had.” – ImpulseTee

Carry the load. Know it’s like moving a sofa.

“I heard a comic once say a relationship is like moving a heavy, awkward sofa up 3 flights of stairs. The whole time you’re talking to the other person, and you wonder if they’re carrying their load, and it can be tough. But its easier than doing it alone.”  – beingtwiceasnice

Be on the same page before you get married.

“Being in love with someone is a good reason to date them, but not necessarily marry them. People fall in love all the time but if the two of you don’t agree on the important life decisions (kids, religion, fiscal responsibility, etc.) then your marriage is likely to face some serious challenges.” – bdd1001