Fierce

A Woman Who Suffered A Stroke In A Mexico Train Station Was ‘Dumped’ In The Street By Cops And Died

Discussion about the misassumptions people have about pain tolerance and women have been in circulation for years. As we have reported before, studies have shown that gender and race have long played a huge role in the prevention of women’s health care advances in the past and has continued to block women from receiving the medical care they need on a day to day basis.

In fact, a recent study published by the US National Library of Medicine 
National Institutes of Health revealed that medical practitioners have often been trained to believe men are “brave” when it comes to pain while women are too “emotional.” In a different study, Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A found that when it comes to assessing the treatment of individuals for pain it is not uncommon for incidents of racial bias to occur.

No one totally knows what happened to María Guadalupe Fuentes Arias on the morning of February 16 when she suffered a stroke but one might gather that her race and sex might have played a part in her death.

Fuentes Arias, 56, suffered a stroke on a train in Mexico City on February 16th. Three days Later she died.

After entering the Tacubaya Metro station at 7 AM local time on February 16, Fuentes Arias suffered a stroke. In a CCTV video published by Reforma, five police agents can be seen responding to her and carrying her body on a stretcher through the station to the police department’s precinct at Line 1 station. There, she spent three hours until four male police officers led her out of the station. She can be seen struggling to walk in the video and was soon after left by the police officers on the steps of the train station’s entrance. She stayed on those very steps for 26 hours without any medical attention.

A street vendor was the one to notify police of her presence, according to reports he initially mistook her for being drunk.

“The first time I saw her I thought she was drunk because they usually drink and stay there,” the vendor said according to Daily Mail. “But the day after I arrived and I saw her again, I said ‘no, this lady is not drunk, she is sick, something happened to her, she fell, she got hurt, but she has something because it has already been too long for her to be drunk and passed out.”

After calling for an ambulance, Fuentes Arias was taken to a local hospital where she was taken in for treatment but ultimately declared dead.

According to Reforma, Police involved in the incident are currently being investigated by the Mexico City Honor and Justice Council.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Jada Pinkett Smith’s Mom Opened Up About Losing Someone To COVID-19 While On The ‘Red Table Talk’

Fierce

Jada Pinkett Smith’s Mom Opened Up About Losing Someone To COVID-19 While On The ‘Red Table Talk’

Jamie McCarthy / Getty

Updated December 19, 2020.

*Trigger Warning: this piece discusses domestic violence and rape and may be upsetting for some.*

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at1-800-656-4673. Or do an online chat.

If you’ve yet to have someone in your life personally affected by COVID-19 count yourself lucky. After all, since the outbreak, there have been 77,307,971 COVID-19 related deaths.

In a recent interview Gammy, AKA Adrienne Banfield-Norris, revealed that someone close to her passed away from COVID-19.

During a recent episode of “Red Table Talk” Adrienne her personal experiences with heartbreak.

“This year has really been the passing of my mother-in-law. It was [due to] COVID. It was very painful. And then not being able to gather and celebrate her life the way we ordinarily would,” Adrienne revealed. “I have had [a lot of romantic heartbreak in my life]. This one particular failure in one of my marriages that I really built up in my head that this was my one true love and I’ll never love like this again. It wasn’t a divorce that I wanted but at the end of the day when you really, really look at the relationship honestly it’s like, ‘This one’s going nowhere but to divorce.’ I really feel like you have to kind of take some time and be honest with yourself.”

Adrienne has been open about her relationship with her ex-husband in the past.

In an October episode of “The Red Table Talk,” Adrienne Banfield-Norris revealed that she had been raped in her marriage to Pinkett Smith’s father.

Rape by a spouse or a partner is an act of physical violence that is often overlooked and under talked about. While there’s been a growth in international attention regarding marital rape it is often widely considered a “gray area” subject even in the many countries where it is illegal. Actress Jada Pinkett Smith learned a hard truth about marital rape affected her parents’ marriage this week in an exclusive clip on the Red Table Talk. Speaking with her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, and her daughter Willow Smith, the actress spoke about non-consensual sex with partners.

“So, Gam, you feel like nowhere in your history in regards to sexual intimacy have you felt like you had a sexual experience that was not necessarily consensual,” Pinkett Smith noted.

Banfield-Norris admitted “I have, I have, but it was also with my husband. Your dad, actually… So that’s really gray.”

Taking a moment to process, Pinkett Smith paused and that asked her mother to clarify “You’re basically saying you had non-consensual sex with my father,” she replied to her mother.

Banfield-Norris has noted how she became pregnant with Pinkett Smith in high school and married the actress’s father, Robsol Pinkett Jr soon after. After several months of marriage, the two divorced. In 2018, Pinkett Smith revealed in another episode of Red Table Talk that her mother had endured domestic violence from Robsol.

“I knew that my mother and my father had a very violent relationship early on,” Pinkett Smith explained. “She has a couple scars on her body that, as a child, I was just curious. I was like, ‘Oh, Mommy, what’s that? What’s that?’ … This will be the first time that Willow’s actually heard these stories about her grandfather who she knew.”

At the time, the three women talked about a scar on Banfield-Norris’s back which she received when Pinkett Smith’s father threw her over a banister.

“Not to make this like an excuse … but he was typically in an altered state when he was abusive like that,” Banfield-Norris said. “He was typically drunk… “I think women stay because they think that they’re in love. That’s what it was for me. I thought that it was love.”

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Users On Reddit Are Speaking About Enduring Eating Disorders During The Holidays

Fierce

Users On Reddit Are Speaking About Enduring Eating Disorders During The Holidays

Heritage Images / Getty

*Trigger Warning: The accounts and pieces of advice in this piece are related to eating disorders and might be upsetting for those struggling or in recovery.*

Just about everyone knows that the holidays often bring an increase in food consumption. With that can come quite a bit of anxiety. After all, just around the corner comes the new year which brings diet and weight shaming season. Advertisers make us feel as if we have to rectify the “wrong” food choices we made at the end of the previous year. This undoubtedly can poorly affect the way we see ourselves at a time when we should feel excited about the new year. In some cases, this can be particularly hard for those who are or have previously suffered from anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, or more generalized disordered eating.

Users on Reddit who’ve endured eating disorders are sharing tips and stories about getting through the holidays.

Check out some of the tips below!

  1. Think about what holiday-specific triggers you might run into so you can put some coping mechanisms in place.
  2. Make a plan ahead of time with your therapist, physician, nutritionist, or whoever else makes up your support team.
  3. If you are worried about there being “safe” foods available, offer to bring a side dish you feel comfortable eating.
  4. Let go of the notion that the holidays mean you should be happy.
  5. Tell your family what comments and phrases make you uncomfortable.
  6. Do all your favorite self-care activities in the days leading up to the food-centric holiday.
  7. Come up with secret signals with people who support you in your recovery to alert them when you need some time or are triggered.
  8. Make sure to eat breakfast and lunch as you normally would before a holiday dinner.
  9. If people start making annoying comments about what you’re eating, just smile and don’t reply.
  10. Text someone who knows what you’re going through so you can support each other.
  11. Throwback to the non-food-related holiday activities you enjoyed as a kid.
  12. Plan reasons to leave the room ahead of time so you have an excuse when you need a breather.
  13. Pick a seat at the table where it’s easier to exit without drawing attention to yourself, just in case.
  14. Focus on nostalgic foods that remind you of happy memories.
  15. Wait until the people who comment about your eating are gone to enjoy your favorite parts of the meal.
  16. Find a way to give back or support others.
  17. Journal your thoughts and feelings before the meal.
  18. Ask someone to keep you accountable in whatever way you need.
  19. Concentrate on socializing and enjoying the company of others.
  20. Forgive yourself if the day is hard for you and doesn’t go the way you want it to.
  21. And finally, don’t push yourself — if you feel like you can’t be around certain people or food in order to stay in recovery, then don’t.” –u/autobuzzfeedbot

Bring your own food.

Most likely at least few people will be contributing dishes on the day – make and bring something along you absolutely know is safe and you can eat if everything else is too scary.

Our safe foods are all different but a few ideas would be:

  • Platters. Fruit, cut up veggies, crackers, cheese, hummus, dips, anti pesto, meats, whatever you’re comfortable with. Easy to chip away at and sustain your energy throughout the day without feeling like it’s too overwhelming.
  • Salads. You can have a big plate full of salad and no one will bat an eye. Lots of veggies, but you can also add things like strawberries, boiled eggs, beetroot, dressings, nuts, cheese, croutons, meats/faux meats, tomatoes, pomegranate, onions, etc (probably not all together but some interesting combos are really good)
  • Veggie bakes. I’ve made huge veggie lasagnas that were incredibly delicious and seemed super normal. You can use things like low fat cheese or vegan cheese alternatives or even cashews/potatoes blended up with nooch to make a cheesy sauce to bake a bunch of veggies in. Add in tomato sauce and pasta/pasta sheets (I use GF ones) (or layers of starchy veg like potato and pumpkin) and you’ve got yourself a pasta bake/lasagna without oil, cheese, gluten or meat. Of course it’s not the same as the real thing but with a lot of strategic herbs and garlic, almost as good!
  • Desserts! I’ve made so many nice and ‘safe’ raw vegan brownies/cakes/etc, but also things like meringues (egg whites + sugar/sugar alternatives), healthy cookies and cakes, parfaits, apple crumble and sugar free soy-custard, the possibilities are endless!! Just make sure you try it before offering it to your family, because some recipes really don’t work.

Wear something nice but also comfy

Everyone eats more than they usually would on days like this. One day will not significantly affect your body or weight. One day of overeating and not compensating will NOT make you gain pounds and pounds of fat.

So wear something forgiving. Wear something you feel confident in and also has room to move in. Skinny jeans, bodycon anything, tight waistbands – all no nos.

I’m in the Southern Hemisphere so it’ll be warm on Christmas Day. I’m wearing a beautiful flowy dress that covers my legs and belly and makes me feel great.

Previous years I’ve worn: T-Shirt dresses, Maxi dresses, rompers/play suits, knitted stretchy high waisted pants and a boob tube, flowy high waisted pants and a matching crop top, stretchy high waisted skirt and a light knit baggy sweater.

If it’s winter where you are: Perfect! Rug up and get cosy in clothes you love. Or wear a big ugly sweater and look cute as hell doing it.

When people offer you food you don’t want

Smile and politely say “No Thank You.” And return to conversation. You don’t need to justify why, just leave it at no.

If you receive food presents

Don’t freak out, you don’t need to eat it in front of them to show your gratitude. If you think it will trigger a binge and/or purge, you can later re-gift it to someone else over the next couple of days, or give it to another family member the next day. But I strongly recommend allowing yourself to enjoy it in moderation. One year I got a box of 30 beautiful artisan dark chocolates. I had one every second or third day until March the next year. It was lovely to have a gift for that long and to always have something to look forward to in a day or two. I liked it so much that dark chocolate is something I’ll still treat myself to every other week and I’m able to do so with moderation and genuine pleasure.

If people comment on your weight/looks/what you’re eating or if someone gives you the “you look so healthy/good and your brain twists it negatively

1st option: if it’s malicious/negative – ignore that person and move to someone you like. Don’t give them power over you.

1st option part 2: shut them down with full force (there’s always at least some drama on family get-togethers)

2nd option: for well-meaning comments – this one is up to you. Remind yourself that most people do not get eating disorders and meant whatever they said from a place of love, encouragement and caring. They love you and honestly just want to see you live your life fully. They don’t want you to suffer.

Looking healthy is a compliment. You’re glowing, you’re radiant, you’re bright and alert, you’re warm and affectionate, you look beautiful. You look beautiful for more than what a camera can capture. Our eyes see so much more than the physical.

General Hecticness

A lot of us thrive in routine, habit, structure. This disturbed can be extremely scary and stressful.

  • You can give yourself structure to the day by writing out what’s going to happen, roughly. Things like:

{wake up 8am, shower, wear x and x, finish wrapping presents, 10am drive to Mums. 11am-4pm Lunch at Mum’s. 4pm-5pm Drive to Dads. 5pm-9pm Dinner with Dad and family. 9pm Drive home. 10pm cuddle with [pet/partner] and organise my gifts.}

  • Give yourself time outs whenever you need them. Go to the bathroom or sit outside for a few minutes and re-group. I carry essential oils to smell whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, find what works for you.
  • Hang around your favourite person. Could be your same-age cousin or your quite old grandpa. Could be your dad or mum or bf/gf or your aunts cat. Your little niece. Whoever you need it to be.

I know some of these won’t apply/won’t help some people because we all do different things and have different familiars but I hope it helps someone, or just prompts someone to have a think about how to prepare themselves for the day and hopefully a bit of harm reduction too.” –u/traumabroccoli

“This year I had managed to break out of the binge restrict cycle and stop binge eating. I had lost all the weight I had gained and have been eating out and exercising consistently.

The holidays are absolutely triggering me. I keep eating “junk” food and eating too much and all the guilt has started to come back. I’m scared I’ll gain all the weight back and I still feel just as big as before and have the strongest desire to lose weight but I keep eating too much.

I know I can’t be too strict on myself as that triggers binges, but this feels so hard. I feel so big and ugh I’m obsessed with eating and the only thing that makes me feel better is if I exercise. I’m going to try to stick to my 3 meals a day and snacking when hungry no matter how huge my desire to restrict is. I’m so scared of weight gain but not as scared as I am about falling back into binge eating.

Wish I could make a meal and exercise plan and fast forward my life for 3 months and just wake up feeling thin and not have to deal with over eating or any thoughts about it. I’m not even a “fat” weight, it just feels and looks “fat” on me. One part of me feels like if I lose weight and gain muscle and hit a certain number I’ll feel satisfied but another part of me is scared I’ll never be happy.”- u/narkreturn

“I would really suggest looking into intuitive eating. It sounds counterintuitive, but the more guilty you feel for bingeing, the more likely it is to keep happening. You basically have to accept however your body wants to eat for it to even out.” –momunist

“You’re not alone. I struggle with my eating less now, but I still struggle. And I’ve been in support groups, and heard recordings of support groups, where people talk about doing everything under the sun with food. I know from experience how terrible it feels to lose control, but really, no matter what you do or have done, someone else has been there too. I don’t know if this will help but thought it could.

People have so many reasons for bingeing, and so few, in a way. For me it is like a drug, but I don’t think it’s that way for everyone. The other posts have covered some likely reasons. I think it’s usually the best solution the person believes they have to whatever challenge they are facing at the time. It may feel ungraceful or illogical, but it’s completely human.”-Coeurahge

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com