Fierce

Check Out These Hilarious Punishments Our Fierce Readers Shared From Their Childhoods

When we look back on our childhoods, we had lots of great times. Hanging out with our primos, being spoiled by our abuelas, watching Saturday morning cartoons and dancing our hearts out at quinces are just a few of our favorite memories from growing up. However, it wasn’t always fun and games. We’d be irresponsible if we didn’t give credit to some of the hilarious ways our parents kept us in line as well. At the time, some threats were straight-up horrifying but now they’re pretty funny. Who knows, maybe we’ll even use some of these lines on our own kids one day. 

With these strange and funny punishments in mind, we asked our FIERCE readers what sort of weird warnings their parents issued to them while growing up and we can’t stop laughing over these responses. Here are some of the funniest:

1. Hug it out.

Instagram / @mixedmombrownbabies

“My dad would force my brother and i to hug each other standing in a corner when we got into a fight. We would squeeze each other tryna hurt each other 😂😂😂” @waitingmoon

2. Pack your bags and go. 

Instagram / @nextra.gifts.mtpleasant 

“‘Te voy a mandar pa Mexico con tu tía’” @larrita415_ 

3. The threat of el Cucuy.

Instagram / @wearemitu

“When I wouldn’t sleep my mom would say, “If you open your eyes, the Cucuy will come to get you!” 😯 It would scare me to death. Pinche cucuy!” — @hellengav74

4. A long visit with abuelita doesn’t seem so bad. 

Instagram / @skeddadle181

“My mom would threaten with sending us to Peru. Honestly, looking back, I should have taken her up on it because my Abuelita would have spoiled me rotten 🤣” @mamabean_d

5. The hand-holding technique. 

Instagram / @luciclementine

“When my brother and I would argue in the grocery store, my dad would make us hold hands until we left the store.” — @withlove_mandee

6. Don’t make us pull this car over! 

Instagram / @mommydearestinc

“My mother would threaten to stop the car on the freeway and throw us out if we didn’t stop fighting.” — @lamoodyreina

7. A weird and gross punishment that a lot of readers have in common.   

Instagram / @tablemannerstx

“My dad would say he was gonna make us lick salt off each other’s backs. We were so grossed out we would check ourselves realllll quick.” — @mividaencolor

8. The underwear warning. 

Instagram / @wickedpatterns

“My mom would threatened to tie us in underwear back to back in the balcony 😂”  — @danielyspineda

9. #TheLook 

Instagram / @candyskloset

“My mom never threatened. She just gave a look and said, “Want to go to the bathroom?” Which meant a spanking lol.” — @victorria_p

10. Hold your tongue. 

Instagram / @kid_spanglish

“‘Se te hace palo la lengua’ was a threat if you even thought about backtalking.” — @killahcarm

11. Cut off from technology.

Instagram / @theradstylist 

“My parents would threaten to take the phones and internet modem away when my sister and I would fight. It got so bad that they would actually take them to work with them so we wouldn’t sneak on the internet or call our friends lol.” @teoami

12. This rice threat sounds painful af. 

Instagram / @zahraricetraders

“Threatened to kneel on a pile of rice and lick salt off eachothers back 😂😂😂” — @jessicagmejia

13. What’s with all the licking??

Instagram / @mydadshoney

“My mom would threaten to put honey on my and @pgon805 back and make us lick it off each other” @wildcardb_tches

Ricky Martin And Jwan Yosef Welcome 4th Baby To Their Adorable Family

Entertainment

Ricky Martin And Jwan Yosef Welcome 4th Baby To Their Adorable Family

ricky_martin / Instagram

Ricky Martin seems to be living his best life with his husband, Jwan Yosef, as they welcomed the arrival of their fourth child into their growing family. In an Instagram post on Tuesday, Martin shared a precious photo of Renn Martin-Yosef, who is seen sleeping, bundled in a pear-printed swaddle, and held by a smiling, overjoyed Martin. 

While accepting a Human Rights Campaign award for his LGBTQ+ advocacy last month, Martin announced that the couple was pregnant. “My husband Jwan, I love you,” he announced from the podium. “My beautiful twins, Valentino and Matteo, they’re also here, I love you with all my heart, you’re my strength, you inspire me every day, you motivate me to keep doing what I’m doing and you guys are amazing kids. You guys are amazing. I love you.” Then, the news: “And by the way, I have to announce that we are pregnant. We are waiting. I love big families.”

Wait no longer, fam! Renn looks like the angel the Martin-Yosef family deserves.

Credit: ricky_martin / Instagram

Nuestro hijo Renn Martin-Yosef ha nacido,” Martin captioned the Instagram share, which means, “Our son, Renn Martin-Yosef was born” in English. Yosef shared the same image and captioned it, “Our baby boy is here.” Friends, family, and even celebrities like Mario Lopez have shared their congratulations via social media. Lopez commented, “Felicidades amigo!” Now, the Martin-Yosef family is a family of six. Here’s the whole story.

Martin started his family as a single father in 2008, after welcoming two twin boys by a surrogate mother.

Credit: ricky_martin / Instagram

After Matteo and Valentino were born, Martin took two years off to completely devote himself to raising the children. The twins have always known how they came into the world, though it started with one of them asking Martin if they came from his belly. It was clear from the beginning of Martin and Yosef’s relationship that Yosef was just as obsessed with Matteo and Valentino as Martin was. Yosef has often publicly thanked the twins (on social media and otherwise) for being the light of his life.

Martin and Yosef started dating in April 2016. Five months later, they announced their engagement on the “Ellen Degeneres Show.”

Credit: jwanyosef / Instagram

When you know, you know, as they say. Yosef is a painter and artist, and is of Kurdish and Armenian descent, though he maintains citizenship in Syria and Sweden. The lovebirds were married less than two years after they met, in January 2018. By the end of the year (December 31, 2018), they announced the birth of their daughter Lucía Martin-Yosef. 

They kept baby Lucía out of the spotlight for the first 7 months of her life, and then, this precious photo graced the Internet.

Credit: jwanyosef / Instagram

Earlier this year, Yosef shared this stunning photo of Lucía pondering the meaning of life, while held in Martin’s arms. He captioned the image, “❤️We are beyond happy to announce that we have become parents to a beautiful and healthy baby girl, Lucia Martin-Yosef. It has been a special time for us and we cant wait to see where this stellar baby will take us. Both her beautiful brothers and me and Ricky have fallen in love with Lucia.” Martin captioned his own post of the same image, “La luz de mis ojos,” which means, “the light of my eyes.”

At the Human Rights Campaign awards ceremony last month, Martin also gave a shout-out to Lucía, who stayed home with her grandma, and called her “the light of my life.”

The couple plans to have “many more kids” together.

Credit: ricky_martin / Instagram

It’s clear that fatherhood is a vocation for Martin, having taken years off his career to raise the twins by himself, he’s not stepping back from family anytime soon, if ever. Ahead of the 2019 Golden Globes, Martin shared a photo of him “#Multitasking Getting ready for the @goldenglobes,” with baby Lucía. Then, on the carpet, Martin told People, “I want four more pairs of twins. I would love to have a big family, but there’s a lot going on at this moment, a lot of work. It’s a lot going on so we’re going to put things in order first and then we are going to get ready for many more kids.”

Raise your hand if you’re ready to put yourself up for adoption to be part of the Martin-Yosef family. 🙋🏽‍♀️

READ: Ricky Martin Introduced His Baby Girl To Fans To Ring In The New Year

This Brazilian Girl Dressed Up As A Mom For Halloween And People On The Internet Are Celebrating Her Creativity

Culture

This Brazilian Girl Dressed Up As A Mom For Halloween And People On The Internet Are Celebrating Her Creativity

Ione Carvalho / Facebook

As young girls, we all looked up to our Latina moms. I remember watching my mom paint dark black eyeliner onto her lids, slip on her impossibly high heels, walk into a room and own it. I also remember her shoving my 11-year-old bully up against a brick wall, demanding that he call his mother for her that instant and calmy, savagely decimating his ego before my very eyes. Our moms are fierce, and their superhero costumes come in a variety of shapes and colors. 

This Brazilian niña, however, chose a not-all-heroes-wear-capes take her Halloween costume of a mom. The details are unfortunate but make for a wonderful and unforgettable costume.

Young Yasmin painted vomit on one shoulder and spilled milk on the other to look like her mother.

Credit: Ione Carvalho / Facebook

Yasmin was invited to a Halloween party this year, but her mother, Ione Carvalho, told her they didn’t have the budget for a pre-made Halloween costume. Like every good Latina mother, she told Yasmin to use her imagination. That she did. 

Yasmin is wearing leggings, old flip flops, an oversized shirt with vomit painted on one shoulder and spilled milk on the other. To top the look off, she painted bags under her eyes, put her hair in a messy ponytail, and is slinging a baby bag, a plastic bag of groceries and an entire fake baby along.

Meanwhile, this is her mother’s Facebook profile photo.

Credit: Ione Carvalho / Facebook

I have questions. The Internet has questions, and the Internet asked. Ione shared the photos of her daughter with the caption [in Portuguese], “Pre Halloween dance and Yasmin was characterized as a mother !!! She’s wearing the uniform of a very busy mother with gym pants, a shirt, tennis and a bun in her hair … Don’t forget the child’s bag, the diaper on the shoulder, the vomit on the other and the spoiled milk!”

Most folks praised her daughter’s creativity and even joked that Yasmin was in too good of character, “already showing the hardness” of being a young mother. Someone else commented, “You should win an award for the idea hahaha the best costume ever.”

Critics are not okay with the disheveled new mom stereotype.

Credit: Ione Carvalho / Facebook

The Facebook post has nearly 10,000 likes and 21,000 shares at the time of this publication. It’s gone viral in Brazil, and Yasmin has even appeared on a local Brazilian show to talk about the experience. With any kind of fame, there is criticism. In a Facebook comment, Ione reportedly responded to a critic, “If you’re a mom and never got to this state, congratulations, but don’t judge. … This mom can be anybody. I didn’t say it was all of them. It’s just an infantile fantasy made by a mom on a budget. Don’t cause so much drama.”

The “Tired Mom” or “Mombie” look is far from new.

Credit: @milkymommasinc / Twitter

A quick Twitter search turns up photos of new parents dressing up as an “Undead Dad” and “Mombie” duo. Those varieties typically require more blood makeup than your typical “Tired Mom.” The zombie trope is one and the same with the stereotype for a new mom minus the cannibalism. New parents are often sleep-deprived, sunken-eyed, smell weird. So they say. 

Last year, a New Mexico teen went viral for her imitation of a “Tired Mom.” 

Credit: @SourceforFunny / Twitter

Then 13-year-old Jillian Schnerch enjoyed the low-budget costume that was met with viral acclaim in 2018. The jury is split on these costumes. Some jokingly tweeted that they felt “superrrrr attacked.” One mom layered the joke by dressing up as a tired mom herself, tweeting, “I don’t know why people keep complimenting my Halloween costume… I didn’t even dress up this year. I’m just dressed as myself, a tired mom.”

Meanwhile, Jezebel rightly reported that the “Tired Mom” routine is only as infuriating as the lack of “Tired Dad” costumes. Is it because fathers aren’t as likely to stretch themselves in childcare or domestic work? Is it because women are far more scrutinized for their appearance than men? Or is it because “tired dads” are praised for measuring up to the bar women have been oppressed by for centuries? We can’t say.

All we know is that Yasmin is certainly enjoying her time in the spotlight, and hasn’t let go of her fake baby just yet.

Credit: Ione Carvalho / Facebook

Of course, her mother’s lesson isn’t lost on any of us, and hopefully not on Yasmin. Latina moms have always led us to believe our creative genius is worth more than the money they might not be able to give us. Gracias, mami.

READ: A Gay Canadian Couple Upped The Racist Halloween Costume Game And Twitter Has Some Opinions