Fierce

Studies Say Latina Moms Struggle With Pregnancies In Ways That Are Unique To Themselves In Early Stages

By Diana R. Diaz

Welcome to motherhood! Whether you had a difficult pregnancy and delivery or not, you’ve officially crossed over into undeniably the best and hardest years of your life. As a mother myself (of boy-girl twins), I can tell you with all certainty, that nothing, I mean nothing, no book, no blog, no video, can adequately prepare you to ‘do motherhood’ the right way. Simply stated, there is no right way. Our bodies are different, our tolerance levels are different. 

I had a beautiful pregnancy and delivery but struggled tremendously in the weeks and months that followed. Sleep deprivation was harsh and my postpartum depression was oh-so-real. Most of which was triggered by the cultural pressure I felt to breastfeed when my body simply couldn’t. Inevitably I felt like a failure. Truth is, I tried. I tried a lot.  But with every attempt, I felt my mental and physical state take a toll for the worse. It led me into a very dark and lonely place. I share all about it in this video.  In retrospect, I realize that it didn’t have to be this extreme. And while there’s definitely no book with all the magic answers, here are my 3 Survival Tips for New Latina Moms to help you better cope with the unexpected twists and turns of early motherhood. 

1. Don’t Compare Yourself 

zianiarubi/ Instagram

Chances are, you’re exhausted, overwhelmed and quite vulnerable. And since this is your first time having a baby, you have no real measure or point of reference on how early motherhood ‘should’ be. With all this said, it can be easy to fall victim to the comparison game. You might’ve heard that your prima breastfed like a champ; that your tia used a specific baby formula that she swore by; or that your friend willingly and excitedly took 5 years off work to thrive as a stay at home mom. With the constant influx of information, you have to pause and remind yourself that your experiences are unique. As a new mom, you must harness the little energy you have and channel in the areas in your life that really need it. This way, your wellness remains a consistent priority. So next time, instead of thinking of how ‘fulana’ did something a certain way; pause and redirect your thoughts to: 

“Have I taken a shower today?” 

“Have I taken a few whole deep breaths today?”

“Have I looked in the mirror and told myself, wow good job today?” 

2. Breastfeed or Not – YOU Decide 

olaiasusperregi / Instagram

Listen, this isn’t easy. I personally wanted to breastfeed and dreamed of it being such a beautiful and painless experience. I went to all the classes and told myself, I will be like that woman smiling while simultaneously breastfeeding her newborn twins in the cover of a motherhood magazine. None of which actually happened because I soon learned I had hyper-sensitive nipples which made breastfeeding feel like death. Family and friends would kindly but firmly insist I keep trying. As a result, I fell into a feeling of deep sorrow. Ladies, don’t do this. YOU know your body better than anyone. If you are in unruly pain and you know in your gut that your attempts to breastfeed is deteriorating your mental and physical health, please listen to your body, even if it goes against what your mom, suegra or partner may think. Conversely, if you want to breastfeed and feel pressured to stop when you really don’t want to, listen to your gut. It’s important to note that all new moms struggle with breastfeeding. Some moms are total naturals. Other moms struggle a little in the beginning and soon get the hang of it. There are also a number of resources to help with breastfeeding and maternal wellness. My point isn’t to discourage breastfeeding, my point is to encourage self-awareness. 

3. Prioritize Self-Care

In the early months of motherhood, it’s easy to forget to think about yourself, or spending time away from your baby. For some, especially those part of the Latinx culture, this can feel like an absolute “sin”. Regardless, prioritizing self-care is vital to maintaining your mental and physical health. Self-care means different things to different people. Here are some easy ways you can prioritize self-care during early motherhood: 

  • Have a help plan. Yes, this means you should ask for help! Identify 2-3 friends and/or family members that can come and alternate once a week to help you with cleaning, cooking or babysitting while you do some self-care (not to be confused with friends and family that visit to meet the baby). 
  • If you can, hire help to clean and/or cook 
  • Take an extra-long hot shower with your favorite music on full blast 
  • Gym or yoga session once a week
  • Go for a long walk around the block with or without the baby
  • Go for a fast-food run and eat it in your car 
  • Sleep – preferably in a separate room or at a nearby friend’s house 
  • Say no to what doesn’t feel right in your gut 
  • Watch a feel-good movie 
  • Enjoy a pedicure or an actual body massage 
  • A quick drive to your favorite coffee place 

*shout out to my RAWW IG community for sharing their early motherhood self-care activities. 

Follow us on IG at @therawwnetwork 

We Could All Learn A Lesson From Gisele Bundchen’s Decision To Be Honest About Her Unhappiness In Her Marriage

Fierce

We Could All Learn A Lesson From Gisele Bundchen’s Decision To Be Honest About Her Unhappiness In Her Marriage

gisele / Instagram

Some think that looks, money and a massive social following can buy you everything but Brazilian model Gisele Bündchen has been a consistent voice against this logic. Recently, the Victoria Secret ambassador’s husband Tom Brady also confirmed this fact, citing his own marriage and Gisele’s happiness within it as proof.

In a recent interview, Brady revealed that the duo has had rough patches just like the rest of us.

Speaking with Howard Stern on SiriusXM on Wednesday, Brady opened up about his marriage to in a pretty candid interview.

“A couple of years ago, she didn’t feel like I was doing my part for the family,” the star quarterback admitted. “She felt like I would play football all season and she would take care of the house, and then all of a sudden when the season ended, I’d be like, ‘Great, let me get into all of my other business activities. Let me get into my football training,’ and she’s sitting there going, ‘Well when are you going to do things for the house? When are you going to take the kids to school and do that?’”

According to Brady, Gisele advocated for herself, pointing out parts in their marriage she wanted to improve– refocusing on her own career and dreams included. To help out his wife, Brady said that he made the decision to take a few steps back from his Patriots organized team practice activities and other business interests.

“Because with my family, the situation wasn’t great,” Brady explained, going onto explain that Gisele “wasn’t satisfied with our marriage, so I needed to make a change in that.”

Making the changes wasn’t totally easy for Brady however. The star quarterback admitted that he’d initially felt some resentment towards his wife for her issues with their relationship and the two ultimately decided to attend counseling.

According to the interview, Brady had a turning point was when Giselle wrote him a “heartfelt letter” about her feelings.

“She actually wrote me a letter, and it was a very thought out letter that she wrote to me and I still have it and I keep it in a drawer and I read it,” he said. “It’s a very heartfelt letter for her to say this is where I’m at in our marriage, and it’s a good reminder for me that things are going to change and evolve over time. What happened and what worked for us 10 years ago won’t work for us forever because we are growing in different ways.”

Ultimately, the couple seemed to fix their issues by coming up wit ha balance.

“The point of a relationship is that it has to work for both [partners],” Brady explained in the interview. “You better work on both because if you don’t then it’s not sustainable.”

Ultimately, Giselle’s decision to be honest and not hold in her resentments probably saved her marriage. That’s a lesson to all of us who have a hard time expressing ourselves in relationships and often deflect to the classic but oh so harmful “No, I’m fine.”

Kylie Jenner Says That She Will Start Making Hand Sanitizer For Hospitals

Fierce

Kylie Jenner Says That She Will Start Making Hand Sanitizer For Hospitals

kylie Cosmetics

Love or her feel iffy about her, there’s no denying that Kardashian fam member Kylie Jenner is doing great good in the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic. Last week the makeup maven announced that she would be putting aside her focus on her Kylie Skin and Kylie Cosmetics line to help hospitals in southern California keep up with the demand for hand sanitizer.

Jenner and her mother Kris announced their plans to make a mass hand sanitizer donation to hospitals in southern California.

View this post on Instagram

🤍☁️

A post shared by Kylie 🤍 (@kyliejenner) on

According to ABC News the two “have partnered with Coty to manufacture hand sanitizers for hospitals in southern California amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. In conjunction with the mother-daughter duo, Coty, which is a key stakeholder to Kylie Cosmetics and Kylie Skin, announced that hand sanitizers they produce will be donated to the emergency and healthcare workers caring for patients on the front lines of the current COVID-19 public health crisis.”

Each hand sanitizer will include a message for recipients that reads “Dedicated to first responders working to support our communities.”

View this post on Instagram

🖤

A post shared by Kylie 🤍 (@kyliejenner) on

According to Page Six, Coty will produce Kylie’s hand sanitizer in its factories. Meanwhile, Kylie Skin products will not be affected. Fans of the Kylie Cosmetics brand might be slightly disappointed to find out that it has paused distribution after California’s statewide stay-at-home order was issued.

ABC reports that doctors, first responders, and other medical professionals are currently enduring some of the most severe shortages of personal protective equipment. In response, some of the biggest names in fashion including Chanel, Prada, and Christian Siriano have halted production to make masks for medical professionals.

Kylie, a billionaire, has also reportedly donated $1 million to first responders to buy protective gear.

In mid-March, after being called upon by the surgeon general of the United States to do so, she issued an Instagram plea to her approximately 168 million followers to follow social distancing instructions and just stay home.