Fierce

Parents Are Debating Whether Or Not It Is Harmful, Even Perverted, To Call A Baby A ‘Heartbreaker’ Or ‘Ladies Man’

Ever since Michelle Obama pointed out the ways in which parents inflict gender biases on children, we’ve been a lot more conscientious of the ways in which these impacts occur. In particular, we’ve become more concerned with how to teach young boys how to respect women and treat them responsibly. Recently a discussion on the site LipsickAlley about the use of terms like “ladies man” reminded us of another way that our culture and words can hinder these efforts.

LipstickAlley user Curlista93 recently asked users “who refer to their sons as “heartbreakers” and “ladies man” at a very young age” whether or not they thought using such terms were “more likely to encourage or allow fuckboi behavior” when their children get older.

It didn’t take long for women to come forward with all kinds of opinions and for us at FIERCE to nod our heads in approval.

Mostly because, as one user pointed out when terms like these are applied to young boys they often simply imply a “code for he ain’t gon be shit.”

Of course, comments like these are well-meaning. They’re intended really to tell parents that their child is attractive and even sweet maybe. Still, in a lot of ways messages to children, ones that they are “ladies men,” or “heartbreakers” indicate that these are admirable traits to beheld. Moreover, being defined by these characteristics is the goal.

As one user in the thread pointed out, it’s also extremely sexist. “Fathers/Mothers posting pics of their 2-year-old son calling them these names, and they usually never refer to their daughters as heartbreakers. I assume these parents are more likely to groom or allow certain behaviors during adolescence and young adulthood.”

Also, It’s oddly sexual

Some users on the thread strongly disagreed with this sentiment. As one user wrote, “It’s not that serious. It’s just another way to say he’s a handsome young man. Don’t think too hard about it. But there IS something oddly sexualizing about the comments. “I think it’s weird and inappropriate. Sexualizing underaged children, particularly infants and toddlers, reeks of pedophilia/grooming to me,” another user said in response to the question.

It’s a road map for a bad boyfriend.

“Some of y’all don’t understand the power of these messages we give to our children,” another user pointed out. “Telling the boys that they will be heartbreakers and telling the girls they will break a lot of hearts is all putting those thoughts into their minds that that’s what they should do and it’s fine. Just like telling them that they ain’t shit or just like Their sorry ass daddies.”

It sets the bar low.

As one user pointed out “Its code for he ain’t gon be shit.” Why tell boys they’re “heartbreakers” when you could call them “future feminists” and “activists in-the-making”?

It makes for an entitled man in the future.

“I think it sets up destructive and entitled mindsets and behaviors surrounding social and dating dynamics. I loathe anything and everything that sexualizes or fetishizes kids and promotes highly questionable and problematic behaviors, attitudes, and complexes.”

Sure, as some users pointed out, in the end, comments like these might not aim to be so serious.

Often times, admirers of your children might just be trying to implement a compliment. But words have power (have the last 4 years not taught any of us this??). No doubt, comments like these might be coming from well-meaning people but they are comments that stem from some pretty problematic cultural norms about male behavior.

Identifying whether or not we’re dating a man or a little boy can be hard enough as it is. Let’s avoid making it worse.

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Vanessa Bryant Forced To Respond To ‘Beyond Hurtful’ Comments Made By Her Own Mom On ‘El Gordo y La Flaca’

Entertainment

Vanessa Bryant Forced To Respond To ‘Beyond Hurtful’ Comments Made By Her Own Mom On ‘El Gordo y La Flaca’

STEPHEN DUNN / GETTY

Within just nine months, Vanessa Bryant has (like all of us) had to deal with the stress and uncertainty of a pandemic, racial crisis and injustice, and the threats of unstable political leadership. She has also had to deal with the almighty devastation of losing her husband and daughter on the same day. You think this would be enough to ensure that she receives only sympathy, support, and light during this time but not so.

Recently, the wife of the late basketball great Kobe Bryant is dealing with negative claims taken to the press by her own mother.

In an interview with Univision, Bryant’s mother Sofia Laine claimed her daughter had kicked her out of her home.

Appearing on “El Gordo y La Flaca,” Laine claimed that her 38-year-old daughter had forced her out of a family home and made her return the car she used.

In a statement to People, Bryant defended herself saying “My husband and daughter passed away unexpectedly, and yet my mom has the audacity to do an interview on TV talking negatively about me while shedding tears about a car and home that wasn’t in her name.”

“She has removed all her diamond jewelry, emptied her apartment that I provide, and put the furniture in storage to appear as though she is without support,” Bryant went onto claim. “My husband and I have financially supported her over the past 20 years, and I continue to do so, in addition to her monthly alimony.”

Bryant went onto add that “contrary to previous reports, she has not been physically present or emotionally supportive for my daughters and me after my husband and daughter passed away. Going forward, I see what is most important to my mom and it is beyond hurtful. I hope this public airing of our personal relations will stop here.”

Bryant lost her husband, the late NBA star, and the couple’s second-oldest daughter Gianna in a tragic helicopter crash in January.

The crash claimed the lives of seven other people including Payton Chester, 13, Sarah Chester, 46, Alyssa Altobelli, 14,Keri Altobelli, 46, John Altobelli, 56, Christina Mauser, 38, and the helicopter’s pilot Ara Zobayan, 50.

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#VoteLikeAMadre Is Committing Latinas To Vote To Save The Planet For Their Children

Things That Matter

#VoteLikeAMadre Is Committing Latinas To Vote To Save The Planet For Their Children

@salmahayek / Instagram

The 2020 election is heating up. There are a lot of hot button issues at stake from reproductive rights and affordable access to healthcare to climate change and civil rights. The Latino Victory Project is using their resources to get Latinas to commit to voting with the understanding that their children will inherit the world they leave behind. Here’s how.

The #VoteLikeAMadre campaign is just that, voting like a mother.

The campaign is getting people, specifically Latinas, to vote for their children. Climate change is one of the most pressing issues facing people during the 2020 elections. That is why #VoteLikeAMadre is asking for people to pinky promise a better future for their children using their ability to vote.

The campaign hinges on the most important promise you can make to your kids: a pinky promise.

A pinky promise is so important with the children, you know. We all remember making our parents make pinky promises to make things happen for us to to give us things we really wanted. They were unbreakable promises that you constantly reminded your parents of making.

People are already taking the pledge to vote for candidates who have plans to combat climate change.

An estimated 1 billion people live in areas that are being affected by climate change. These people could all become climate refugees by 2050. That is one-seventh of the world’s population being displaced because of climate change. Our actions now can help to mitigate some of the damage that scientists expect.

People of color are among the most vulnerable communities when it comes to the negatives affects of climate change.

Latinos, as well as other communities of color, put a lot of importance on the climate crisis. Environmental justice is an issue that Latinos have been fighting for as our communities are often subjected to negative climate and environmental issues. According to a Yale study on climate change, Latinos are the most concerned about the climate crisis and its impact.

Early voters are already following through with their promises to fight for the climate.

Fighting for the climate is the same as fighting for the children. It is not a surprise that those who are younger will be the ones to inherit and live on the planet longer. Actions now can either ruin or save the planet and its climate for the generations to come.

“Many people assume that the only people who really care about climate change are white, well-educated, upper-middle-income, latte-sipping liberals, and it’s just not true,” Anthony Leiserowitz, director of the Yale Program on Climate Change Communication told PBS. “Actually, the racial and ethnic group that cares more about climate change than any other is Latinos.”

You can learn more about #VoteLikeAMadre, go to their website.

You can learn more about the campaign and the fight to save the climate here. Share with us about what you want to see most in the next leaders of the U.S. by commenting below.

READ: American Latinos United Launches Committee To Take Down President Trump In 2020

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com