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Things I Never Want To Hear Come Out Of Your Mouth During My Pregnancy

Six months into my pregnancy I started to realize that not only were my raging hormones out of control but also the endless unsolicited comments and advice from strangers about my body.  My small 4’11 frame and almost ten-pound baby made me an easy target for body comments and I soon began to feel as if I was in some kind of freak show. As if dealing with indigestion, lack of sleep, shortness of breath and constipation weren’t enough I had to experience adult bullying to a whole different level. On any given day I would receive five to seven comments about my belly or how tired I looked from strangers who never seemed to show interest in me before. It’s crazy how popular pregnancy can make someone become. I soon began to find ways of coping with people who tried to approach me.

As a way of coping, I began to not make eye contact with people who walked passed me in the hallway and I’d pretend I didn’t hear them speaking to me.

This didn’t work. After a few weeks of this, I felt like walking around with a huge sign that said,” I’m making a human, fuck off!” Instead, I started to walk around with huge bitch face that would make me look unapproachable. This didn’t work either. I would still have people wave me down from across the parking lot at work and say, “OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK HUGE!”

This growing inadequate feeling in me occurred mostly during work.

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It also led me to almost go on maternity leave early.

Instead, I dealt with it and decided to jot down a list of “Eleven Things to Never Tell a Pregnant Person.”

Have a look and be sure to pass on what you learn to others who have a hard time keeping certain things to themselves when it comes to pregnant people.

1. “You look like you’re due now”

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Never pretend like you are a doctor and know just by looking at someone when their baby is due. 

Chances are you may be right but there is a huge chance that you may be wrong.

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The person may still have a few months to go. And besides, if she’s not your bestie, your cousin, your sister or your daughter, it really is none of your business when she’s due.

2. “OMG, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?”

This must have been one of my favorite ones. It was close to my due date and a complete stranger from work came up to me and asked me “When did this happen?” Last time I checked we all knew how babies were conceived. I should have given her a complete rundown of that intimate moment when my daughter was conceived. Instead, I ignored the comment and continued walking to my desk. If I have never spoken to you before chances are I don’t feel like telling you “when this happened.”

3. “I wasn’t as big as you when I got pregnant.”

We all know that comparing ourselves to other people is not the kindest thing to do. Everyone carries babies differently. Some people carry babies higher, lower wider or narrower.

4. “Every time I see you, you get bigger and bigger!”

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This must have been one of the ones that got to me the most. It was the same woman at work that kept telling me this comment. The first few times I would just nod and say yes. Until the last time when my raging hormones were full blast, I basically told her to cut it out. She had this look on her face of complete remorse and regret but I just about had it. The following time she saw me, instead of telling me how big I looked, she asked me if I needed anything from the store since she was on her way.

5. “You look so tired.”

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The times that I was told how tired I looked I had either spent all night awake due to my awake baby moving around all night. I would completely know when I was not feeling like myself and usually when someone told me I looked tired it was something I already knew.

6. “Can you stand up so I can see how big you are?”

Now, people, pregnant people are not here for our amusement. If it’s not right to ask a non-pregnant person to stand up to see their body, it’s not okay to ask someone who is pregnant to stand up so they can see your body. I refused to stand up to someone who asked me this. I stated that I was not going to stand up because my body was not going to be displayed for judgment.

7. “Once the baby gets here, you will never sleep for the rest of your life. ”

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The fact of the matter is that you do get to sleep, you just have to sleep when the baby sleeps and you have to have a partner that is willing to wake up in the middle of the night to let you have a good night’s sleep…

…I also know parents of four-year-olds who sleep from seven to eight hours at night.

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I remember my mother sleeping endlessly when we were in high school. Once you hit your thirties, like me, you no longer sleep well anyways. Before I had my baby, I would function on four hours of sleep due to just insomnia. The fact of the matter is, no matter what, you will survive and when other people instill fear in you it is a reflection of the things they have to deal with.  

8.“I know someone who almost died during labor.”

For some reason when you are pregnant everyone starts telling you all the tragic birth stories they had and, even if it’s their best friend’s friend’s great aunt who had a tragic birth story, they want to tell you that one too. Chances are this is not going to soothe mama into feeling confident about going into labor. I think we live in such a panic-stricken world that perpetuating these stories is a norm. However, positive stories of birth may be a better way of empowering an expecting mama.

9. “Will you have another baby after this?”

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Chances are pregnant mama is not thinking this far ahead and just trying to overcome this pregnancy. This is a very interesting question that I hear so much. Children require so much time, money and attention. It is a big personal decision to bring a child into the world and an even bigger decision to bring additional children to the world. Only father and mother can decide if they have the tools to make this happen. Usually, it takes time to decide. I feel this can be a very personal topic that can only be genuinely be discussed between close friends and family.

10. “Are you having twins?”

This is a difficult question to hear especially if you are not having twins. I heard this about five times during my pregnancy. I would always ask myself if I was doing something wrong in what I was eating or how I was nourishing my body. But, the fact of the matter is that everyone carries babies differently.

11. “Man, I can’t picture myself starting all over at your age.”

The beautiful thing about life is that not everyone walks the same path. Some people get to have children young when they find their life partners at a young age in high school or college. For others, it may take a longer time to realize you want to be a mom or it may take longer to find the partner you can picture yourself having children with. The sooner we realize that and accept each other the sooner these unnecessary comments will happen.

I believe it is inappropriate to make any kind of comment on anyone’s body whether they are pregnant or not.

But next time you decide on making a body comment, or another negative comment to a pregnant person,  take into account that her hormones are working extra hard to keep their baby alive. She may already know that she’s gained all the weight you told her she looks like she’s gained and she may have had someone tell her the same exact thing the day before or that same day. Just chill, please.

Next time you plan on making a comment to a pregnant person make sure it is something she might not have heard that day like…

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“You are doing an amazing job!” or “ isn’t it amazing how strong a person’s body is? You should feel so proud of yourself!

Pregnant people don’t get enough recognition for the daily hard work.

They have to put up with not only make a baby but to also, for some, going to work and or taking care of additional children. This is all while their bodies are working overtime to make and protect a life. Be kind to the pregnant people in your life and please be aware of the things that come out of your mouth.


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This Mom Got Asked Out While Working And She Just Couldn’t Help Herself

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This Mom Got Asked Out While Working And She Just Couldn’t Help Herself

One thing that is definitely true about Latina moms is they are pros at multitasking. They can be cooking and watching the kids at the same time or cleaning and simultaneously be scolding you too. Where does this come from, and how can we attain this skill? If you’d like further proof of this magic that Latina moms possess, look no further than this brilliant woman who can hustle and score a date in less than two minutes flat.

Meet Laura Cisneros, a stylish mom who hustles as a Mary Kay rep.

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Cisneros takes her job very seriously, which is why she’s an excellent Mary Kay rep. “I truly believe that serving customers is one of the great factors that sets us apart from every other company,” Cisneros states on her company’s website. She’s so serious about selling Mary Kay products that it seems she’s willing to reach out to her customers at the drop of a dime, even if she’s in her car.

Cisneros was recently conducting a live Mary Kay seminar in her car, and while she was speaking to her followers, a man approached her, and straight-up asked her on a date.

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“Sorry to interrupt,” the stranger says in the video. “My name is Leon.” Cisneros is clearly taken aback by this person who just approached her car while doing a live chat. He goes on to say, “I just thought you were way, bonita.” So, apparently, he knows some Spanish. He asks her where she’s from (she says Mexico) and what she’s doing (working!! what else!!??). He then just goes in for the kill (not like that).

The stranger says, “sorry to be so forward, but, can I have your number?” She says yes, and it takes her a hot minute to locate her business card.

Credit: Twitter/@ChabelyyBD

The two make some small talk including exchanging information about where she lives and whether it would be okay if he called her to go on a date, maybe grab a drink. She, again says, yes, to call me. Perhaps he didn’t hear her the first time? So she gives him her card, and he leaves, and what does she do? Go back to her live seminar. Classic!

“Sorry, Chicas,” Cisneros says about the minor interruption of her live seminar.

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Yeah, they didn’t seem to mind.

Her daughter shared this hilarious encounter on Twitter, and it has been shared more than 30,000 times.

Credit: Twitter/@ChabelyyBD

Her daughter said now that her mom’s video has gone viral they’re planning to make shirts out of her mom’s signature closing statement, “sorry, chicas.”

Cisneros is so popular now that she launched her own Twitter account!

Her daughter tweeted, “My mom really enjoyed everyone’s support, so she activated her twitter, the one and only go follow her @analauracisner4,” and added, “@MaryKay, please make my mom an ambassador or shareholder because business is booming honey.”

A few months ago, her daughter posted this sweet tribute to her mom on her birthday.

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“Where to begin…as I grew older, I learned about your struggles growing up and as young women. From being a young mom dependent on my dad with no English to being fully independent and successfully running her own business, I admire your resilience and strength. You taught me how to be a mother, how to love unconditionally, how to be loyal. You’re an amazing grandmother and the best mom, happy birthday queen.”

But we know what you’re thinking. Did the mystery man ever call her?

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No, he has not!  What the heck? All that game for nothing. What a typical guy! Right when you think a confident man comes along to ask out an ambitious, hard-working Latina, he goes on to be a letdown. So basic. Her daughter offers up this theory, “No, he hasn’t called yet maybe he saw this and got scared.” Maybe! It would make so much sense because it is so common for a guy to be intimidated by an incredible woman. Well, it’s his loss because he clearly is missing out.

Don’t worry, Laura, we do not doubt that you’ll be scoring more dates and profitable opportunities thanks to this viral tweet.

READ: 21 Beauty Products Our Latina Moms Forced On Us In The ’90s

Trump’s Attack On The Latino Community Is Being Attached To A Rise In Premature Deaths In The Latina Community

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Trump’s Attack On The Latino Community Is Being Attached To A Rise In Premature Deaths In The Latina Community

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We all know the saying that hindsight is 20/20. Well, hindsight can be as little as nine months for medical research teams that study the links between premature birth rates and maternal stress. It’s long been codified in the medical community that acute stress in pregnant women leads to premature births. The rate of premature births has then been used to study certain populations of women. 

An established medical journal, JAMA Network Open, published a study that shows in the nine months since Trump’s presidential election in November 2016, an increase of 3.2 percent to 3.6 percent premature births occurred in the Latina population.

A study is specifically calling out “political campaigns, rhetoric and policies” as being possible stress factors for the rise in premature births within the Latina community.

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Assistant Professor at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health Alison Gemmill authored the study. Gemmill explicitly wrote that “because mothers and children are particularly vulnerable to psychosocial stress, our findings suggest that political campaigns, rhetoric, and policies can contribute to increased levels of preterm birth.”

Gemmill suggests further research to determine causality between the Trump election and the births.

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Science is science for a reason. The study showed a strong correlation between the election and the premature births, and that’s the first step to determine causality. Another study will be needed in order to determine whether the election directly caused premature births in Latina mothers.

The data includes 32.9 million live births total, taken from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s online database.

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The conclusions are much more significant given that the data pool is so expansive. Those babies included had been listed on their birth certificate to have a mother who identified as Hispanic. The babies were considered premature if they were born before 37 weeks’ gestation.

Baby boys had a higher rate of premature birth.

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According to Gemmill, boys are statistically more “vulnerable” to maternal stress. This data point is a clue that “provides further support that the election could be viewed as a population stressor.” The study shows that 11 percent of births to boys were premature and 9.6 percent of births to girls were premature among Latina mothers. Compared to the rest of the population, 10.2 percent of boys were born prematurely while 9.3 percent of girls were born prematurely.

Compared to previous years, there were 2,337 more premature births to Latina women post-election.

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That’s 2,337 babies who will grow up with the impacts of being born premature–babies with weakened immunity and underdeveloped systems.

Researchers would have liked to compare the data between U.S.-born Latina women and immigrant Latina women. That would be important to know because immigrant women have lower rates of preterm births. 

Another possible explanation is that there were fewer immigrant Latinas giving birth in the U.S. post-election.

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“We think there are very few alternative explanations for these results. One possible explanation could be if there was a sudden change in the composition of Latina women giving birth around the time of the election,” Gemmill said. “A drop in the number of foreign-born women among all Latina women giving birth immediately after the election could have contributed to observed increases in preterm birth.”

The study concluded in July 2017, but Gemmill wants to know what is going on for Latina women.

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Another associate professor of epidemiology at Emory’s University’s Rollins School of Public Health, Michael Kramer, chimed in. Kramer says that Latina women are statistically more resilient “than we might expect given socioeconomic status.” That’s why it’s so surprising to see a “meaningful jump in preterm birth.”

Gemmill says it’s “an important and unique illustration of the relationship between hostile immigration climate and health.” We need to know what is going on for Latina women.

Researcher Nancy Krieger’s own study concluded that “divisive political rhetoric…causes bodily harm and it’s a harm that can be transmitted from one generation to the next.”

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Krieger is a professor of social epidemiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston. She participated in a study that saw a 0.3 percent jump in preterm births in New York City alone, with the most significant increase seen in Latina women.

“Yes, there is an old adage: ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,'” she said. “Actually divisive political rhetoric that is dehumanizing and that induces fear does cause harm. It causes bodily harm and it’s a harm that can be transmitted from one generation to the next.”

READ: 22 Out-Of-This-World-Type Of Bizarre Facts About Pregnancy

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