Culture

Grab The Tissues! These Latinas Told Us Their Coming Out Stories And We Have Been Sobbing In Pride

Coming out can be an extremely personal thing. Yet, for a Latina living in a Latino community, where family, friends, neighbors are all considered part of the mix, they can be exceptionally stressful. From dealing with machismo and religious ideals, for many, coming out can tear a person apart. For many of us, on the other hand, our families can provide all the comfort we need.

In honor of Pride Month, we asked Latinas on Instagram about their coming out experiences and boy did they deliver!

A story that had a surprisingly supportive ending.

“I finally came out to my mom last year when I got into a relationship with my girlfriend since it was my first time dating a woman. My mother and I have always been close so I told her since I was living out of state at the moment and I wanted her to know about my relationship. I told her I was in a new relationship but that it was with a woman. She just looked and me and instantly said, “okay y cual es la problema? No importa con quien estes sea hombre o mujer, solo que estes feliz. Si tu estas feliz, yo estoy feliz. Si tu estás bien, yo voy a estar bien.” – @__shirls__

How pain and cutting ties wouldn’t keep her from being herself in the end.

Photo by Etty Fidele on Unsplash

“I came out to my parents 10 years ago when I was in high school. I had a girlfriend at the time and they had already suspected I was into girls. It didn’t go well at all. To sum things up, over the past ten years it’s been a battle on and off with trying to fight feeling invisible and invalidated, because God forbid we talk about sexuality. Anyway, it took me moving away and temporarily cutting ties for my parents to finally start coming around to it. Only recently after 10 years of trying to talk to my parents about it, my mom finally told me she’s accepted me for who I am, and will continue to work through it. And really, all I had ever wanted was for her to try. There was ten years of gritos and lagrimas, and finally this time the lagrimas were no longer out of enojo but rather love and compassion. t’s never too late.” – @ohluccia

Chisme did it all for her and she didn’t mind.

Photo by Edu Grande on Unsplash

“My mom accidentally found out (i do not know how, i think she saw a text on my lock screen), confronted me, and when i asked her how she did she know, she said “i mean… we all kind of knew… i mean what girl wears flannels and wants to live with her best friend and eighty cats?” and then came out to me also, she’s bi. unfortunately she also found out about my ex, and asked how our relationship was, i had to awkwardly tell her i ended things a week before, and it took me another 2-3 years to tell her that ex-girlfriend was an abusive shithead. my mama gas supported me always, and i wish other parents did the same to their kids.” – ki.kibug

The one where she was told it was “just a phase.”

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash

“I came out as pansexual at 15 and my moms first reaction was saying it was a phase and would pass, and telling me I needed to pray, that she would pray for me, and that i should try therapy. My mom has always been my best friend and I honestly don’t blame her for reacting this way, but I did make it clear it wasn’t going to change. I decided to take one day out of the year to remind her that I’m still pansexual, regardless of who I am with. I know for the most part she’s able to ignore my sexuality because I’ve had more serious boyfriends than girlfriends buy it’s still there, and a huge part of me. For the rest of my family I’ve only told those who have directly asked me or brought it up on conversation which have just been my younger cousins and they are completely supportive. There’s a good amount of my family that I haven’t said those words to yet, but I am willing to at a drop of a hat.” – @carmennurinda

The one where she threw up.

Photo by _Mxsh_ on Unsplash

“It was difficult… I was with my super religious aunt and she was asking why I still don’t have a bf how it upsets my mom that I haven’t given her grandchildren and stuff and I remember there was a big cross on the wall ( typical Pr 🇵🇷) and she said “ Mija te ves tristes porque?” And i just broke and said “ tia estoy triste porque yo se que mi mamá y todos en la familia vas hablar mal de mi porque dos mujeres no puedes tienen un bebé “ and i ran and threw up . My mom showed up when I was throwing up and she freaked out it was horrible …my tia had to calm my mom down she kept saying “what did she do wrong” it was bad.” – j_nyx_

A story about coming out in the most freeing way she knew how.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

“I said it via text. With my engagement ring on. Fuck it. At 34 I wasn’t going to hide myself any longer.”- vvaz__

A story that includes being outed before she was ready.

Photo by Felipe Bustillo on Unsplash

“Unfortunately I was outed before I was emotionally and mentally ready to endure the rejection. Blessed to say after 10 years my mom accepts my sexuality. People need to know the damage they can cause by outing a loved one when they are not ready. You might think you’re helping but not in all cases. Best way to help is by motivating them to be proudly be themselves. ” – karydred

When her abuelita found out on social but just wanted to be supportive.

Photo by Damir Bosnjak on Unsplash

“Told my family, my mom goes “finally, we were wondering when you’d come out.” and i was like “huh??” and my sister said “you wear flannels everyday, you want to live with your best friend with no men, and you want to have a household of cats??” my abuela basically found out via facebook and bombarded my mom with questions on how to support me.” – ki.kibug

A sad story of still not being totally out.

“I haven’t yet because at 15 when rumors about me were said at school my sister told my mom about it and my mom cried and said she’d disown me if they were true so I lied and said they weren’t.” – tired.latina

A mother who is proud of her daughter no matter what.

“I’m 41. I’m Hispanic, my husband is 46, Mexican & Puerto Rican. Our daughter was a straight A student in elementary. All of a sudden her grades slipped, she became depressed and withdrawn. Then the summer going into 8th grade, she wrote us a letter coming out. She said she was so full of anxiety, not knowing if we would still love her. We basically let her know that it was a nonissue for us. We knew from the time she was a toddler that she was gay. I felt like, there didn’t need to be a big coming out. I don’t see her any different than I see my other children. She’s 15 now & has been with her girlfriend for 11 months. We love her too.” – shes_crafty77

It happend over email and “things are so much better, but not perfect.”

Photo by Joe Gardner on Unsplash

“I did it via email at the age of 27… I was scared, felt ashamed, and thought I’d lose it all… It was hard for me. It was hard for my mom and we took some time to really talk about it almost a year later… Things are so much better, but not perfect. I’m blessed to openly be with my wife in our family, yet there’s still lots to unpack.” – labruxapg

The Latina mama bear who loves her son no importa qué.

Photo by Rashid Sadykov on Unsplash

“I’m a proud mom of a gay son who came out at the age of 12, as a Latina mom, our culture is harsh on LGBTQ+ every day I try and break that cycle and barriers. My house is a safe haven for my son’s friends and for those kids that have been rejected. As a mom I want you to know that you are loved, you are unique and you are so brave! Hugs and hugs and hugs, you have a mom here that is so so proud of who you are.” – arco___iris___

The Latina who sacrificed herself for her sister.

Photo by Karina Carvalho on Unsplash

“My abuela is Dominican, very religious and old school, and doesn’t like my sister’s Haitian boyfriend. One day, my sister was crying to me because my abuela said some harsh things to her about Haitians. My sister screamed at me, “NO! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! Abuela doesn’t dislike who you are and who you love!” So I said fuck it, I came out to her as bisexual and told her that she’s not alone. We’ve become closer since and I can finally tell her the tea about the girls I like.” – slunaa24

A short story that has long-lasting tears.

Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

“Mine had tears mainly my mom she kept asking what did she do wrong with me. It was a lot for her she’s better now but it’s been over 10 years.” – j_nyx_

Reminder! Come out only when you feel ready and safe to do so.

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

relationships

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

My husband and I have been married for a little over three years now and he is still learning so much about myself and what it means to be Latino. I’m not talking about me having a big Cuban family all stationed in Miami (3-0-5 🙌🏽) or the fact that the best jokes in Netflix’s “One Day At A Time” are in Spanish. I’m talking about the little things that to me have always been a normal part of life. This is what has continuously caught him off guard…

If you ask him, I’m already turning into my abuela because of the things he is finding out, which to me is a compliment. Here are just a few of the things that he is starting to understand about our future together.

1. Seasoning your beans is hard AF but abuela makes it look easy.

CREDIT: gifnik.com

No matter how many times I try or how many techniques I use, my bean always turn out bland AF. This wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t have my abuela’s frijoles negro because now he has a reference point as to what beans are supposed to taste like. Though, he doesn’t cook so my bland beans will have to do.

2. That whole personal space thing is a white construct.

View this post on Instagram

I missed my hot mess buddy!

A post shared by Jorge (@cantstayput) on

One of the first things he realized about being married to a Latino is that all that personal space he once had is gone. I even go into the bathroom to talk to him when he’s in the shower because that’s 👏🏾 how 👏🏾 I 👏🏾 was 👏🏾 raised. 👏🏾

3. Family obligations cannot and will not be avoided.

Even if it means that you have to spend $800 to travel 3,000 miles back home for a weekend for your nephew’s first birthday, there is no getting out of family events. #BasedOnTrueEvents

4. My family raised me to be super eco-friendly (and very frugal).

The first time my husband saw me washing a Ziploc bag he asked if we had run out and that he could get some from the store. My response: “But, like, why do you want to waste money like that?”

5. Selena was and will always be La Reina.

CREDIT: anything-for-selenaaas / Tumblr

I know. I know. How did he not know this before is what you’re thinking, right? But you can’t hold it against him. I don’t think Selena had a very big following in West Virginia. There was no way he could have known that she is more relevant now than ever. Not to mention that she still wins Latin Billboard awards and I play her music nonstop.

6. My abuela’s obsession with reusing containers has been passed down.

After he came down from the initial shock of thinking that I left the sour cream in the Tupperware cabinet overnight, he made a joke about me becoming my abuela. I’ve never been so proud.

7. Calling a loved one “gordo” is not offensive.

View this post on Instagram

@f_uanteik #migordo #iloveyou #happiness #happynights

A post shared by Maka (@makare.92) on

Because, you know, someone calling you “my little fatty” is not okay. Imagine his shock when he heard a family member call me “gordito” in front of him. He was shook.

8. Every chore I do is just an excuse to put on Celia Cruz and dance.

CREDIT: mitú

Sure, I can cook in silence but nothing makes my time in the kitchen more enjoyable than some “La Negra Tiene Tumbao” or “La Vida Es Un Carnaval” blaring in the background. Plus, he is starting to learn some of her greatest hits.

9. Seventy-five percent of Latino cooking is just making that sabor.

To quote my husband: “Oh. So ropa vieja is like making pot roast then you make the flavor (sofrito). Yeah. White people are too lazy to make all that flavor.”

10. Being extra and loud is just in our blood.

I still have that trophy on our desk in the living room and he has mentioned moving it a couple times. Then I stubbed my toe, fall to the floor in tears, and he remembers why it is so prominently displayed.

11. Hot Cheetos are life.

He didn’t know they were so versatile but he’s not upset that we get to eat them all the time.

READ: 14 Things That Happen When A Gringo Marries Into A Latino Family

Share this story with all of your friends by tapping that little share button below!

Here’s What The Toro Cheerleaders Would Look Like If They Were Latinas

Entertainment

Here’s What The Toro Cheerleaders Would Look Like If They Were Latinas

credit: Universal Pictures / Phillip Faraone | @versace_official

Few films have gotten the honor of reaching cult teen movie status like the 2000 classic “Bring It On.” The film, a mega-hit about two dueling cheerleader teams, has stood the test of time. Though it’s a movie about cheerleading on its surface, the themes of cultural appropriation and female empowerment are still relevant today. Nearly 20 years later, the antics of the Toros and the Clovers continue to be an entertaining watch. Still, we can’t help thinking how much better “Bring It On” would be if it was given a touch of the Latinidad with a fresh recast.

1. Selena Gomez as Torrence

Universal Pictures / Phillip Faraone

Perky Torrence is the brand new cheer squad captain of the Rancho Carne Toros. The excitement of her new position quickly dulls when she realizes that she’s got some big shoes to fill. Originally played by Kirsten Dunst, Selena Gomez is perfect actress to fill this role. We know Gomez already has some killer moves already and that bubbly attitude of hers just screams “head cheerleader.”

2. Becky G as Missy

Universal Pictures / Emilio Sanchez

Full of fierce attitude, Missy is the new girl in school. Since Rancho Carne doesn’t have a gymnastics team, Missy has to settle for the next best thing — even if that means putting up with the air headed cheer team. Played by Eliza Dushku in the OG “Bring It On,” pop star Becky G is just the mujer to bring the Chigona POV to the Toros.

3. Tyler Posey as Cliff

Universal Pictures / Shutterstock

Dreamboat Cliff is also new to Ranco Carne and he already has his sights on Torrence. Jesse Bradford played Cliff in the original movie but for our Latinx version, Tyler Posey is our guy. Charming high school senior by day, alternative rocker at night; we can totally see Posey crooning a love song to Gomez’s Torrence.

4. Cardi B as Isis

Universal Pictures / Shutterstock

Head-Boss-Lady-In-Charge, Isis is the cheer captain of the East Compton Clovers. When she discovers the Toros have been stealing their moves, she rallies her Clovers to win Nationals. Played by Gabriel Union in the original movie, Cardi B is the only Afro-Latina who can bring the same level of fierceness to the role. We already know Cardi has the moves and there’s no question she can rep the Clovers as their leader.

5. Bella Thorne as Big Red

Universal Pictures / Shutterstock

The former boss of the Toros, Big Red — played by Lindsay Sloane — is a force of nature. Not above flat out cheating to get what she wants, Big Red is the one who stole the Clovers’ routine for nationals. With this baggage, it’s going to take a formidable Latina to fill this role. That’s why Bella Thorne, with her fiery red hair and stellar acting chops, would be a perfect fit for our Latina Big Red.

6. Francia Raísa as Courtney

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is PSX_20190311_154727.jpg
Universal Pictures / Jason Merritt

A member of the Rancho Carne Toros, Courtney is all confidence and sex appeal. She also has very strong opinions about who should and shouldn’t be a cheerleader and isn’t afraid to let it be known. Originally played by Clare Kramer, Francia Raísa is the perfect candidate for this role as she already has experience with the “Bring It On” franchise. The “Grown-ish” star played a cheerleader in “Bring It On: All Or Nothing.”

7. Auli’i Cravalho as Whitney

Universal Pictures / Brian Bowen Smith

Dedicated cheerleader perfectionist Whitney is Courtney’s partner in crime. Just like Courtney, Whitney is very committed to the legacy of the Toros. Unfortunately, this dedication pushes the team into some questionable decisions. Originally played by Nicole Bilderback, Puerto Rican-Hawaiian actress Auli’i Cravalho would bring a fresh dynamic to this role.

8. Diego Boneta as Aaron

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is PSX_20190311_160117.jpg
Universal Pictures / eonline.com

In the original “Bring It On,” Richard Hillman plays Torrence’s boyfriend and former Torro, Aaron. At first, he seems like a handsome and wholesome all-American guy but, in actuality, he’s a no-good cheater. Actor Diego Boneta has all of Aaron’s charm and is handsome enough to play this role in the Latinx reboot. He also has the acting talent to portray the POV of a dirty cheater.

9. Kehlani as Jenelope

Universal Pictures / Galore Magazine

A member of the Clovers, Jenelope is a girl who is not here for anyone else’s attitude. Originally played by R&B artist Natina Reed, this role definitely needs another boss artist for the Latinx reboot. Afro-Latina and American singer/songwriter Kehlani can bring the pose and the moves to this Clover.

10. Herizen Gaurdiola as Lava

Universal Pictures / Jemal Countess

Isis’ other Clover comadre, Lava is just as heated about the Toros stealing their moves as her name suggests. Shamari Fears originally played Lava but, for the reboot, we need an awesome Afro-Latina actress. Herizen Guardiola of Netflix’s “The Get Down” is just who we need to bring fresh flavor to this supporting role.

11. John Leguizamo as Sparky Polastri

Universal Pictures / Miko Lim

Eccentric, mean and intimidating, Sparky Polastri is a so-called professional dance coach. The Toros call him in when things start looking desperate but his methods are totally bizarre. To make matters worse, the routine he sells them has also been sold to rival cheer teams. The wacky performance was originally done by Ian Roberts but we can totally see John Leguizamo in this memorable role.