Fierce

This Is What One Of Mexico’s Superstars Told Herself The Day She Decided To Walk Away From Abuse

Kate del Castillo has starred in telenovelas since she was a young girl and has been in the limelight basically her entire life. While some of her fans know about her turbulent marriage and divorce to Mexican soccer star Luis García, Kate recently opened up about the pain she endured during this time of abuse hoping to encourage women to walk away from any kind of abusive relationships.

Kate del Castillo opened up about the alleged domestic abuse she experienced while she was married to soccer player Luis García.

The video was released by Real Women Real Stories is “a social project designed to promote awareness of the often unseen hardships women face in different professions and places around the world.”

In the video, Kate says that when she met Luis she was 27 and thought he was very handsome and charming.

Credit: Real Women Real Stories / Youtube

She said that they dated for almost one year before he proposed. Kate said that looking back now she realizes “There was something in the back of my mind that was like a red light, saying something’s not right.” But added that she was in love and didn’t see those signals.

After only dating for about a year, the couple got married. Kate said things went wrong during their honeymoon.

Credit: Real Women Real Stories / Youtube

“My honeymoon was terrible,” Kate says in the video. She said she’d wait for him to go to sleep so she could cry alone. “I knew things would not be okay.”

“I thought that I had good self-esteem but this man broke me in many, many ways.”

“Even with my work, he would tell me that I’m a horrible actress that I should go and take classes. Every single day he would say, ‘Oh my god, you woke up uglier than yesterday,’ and he would laugh.”

She said it was comments like that that ultimately affected her self-esteem.

“He was the star and he thought that he was the star, but I was a star as well. I was very well known in Mexico, and he didn’t like that.”

Kate said that at first, she only experienced verbal abuse, and then it became physical.

“Then he started touching me and hitting me and kicking me — he tried to choke me many times.”

She said that the marriage only lasted a year and a half but to her, it felt like ten years.

Kate said that she knew she had hit rock bottom when she didn’t recognize herself anymore.

“There was one moment that I clicked eyes with myself, and what I saw devastated me because I was very skinny, I looked old, I looked ugly and of course unhappy. That’s why I’m so pissed about it — it’s not being a victim it’s that who can come and tear you apart and break you, just like that? How easy is that?”

She said she knew she wasn’t happy and that’s not the person she was.

Credit: Real Women Real Stories / Youtube

After looking at herself, she said she didn’t want to see herself in that light anymore. She knew she had to do something. When he went away for the World Cup in Japan, she packed her bags and left.

After walking away, she worked on rebuilding her confidence and self-respect. She says that was the toughest part.

Credit: Real Women Real Stories / Youtube

She says the most frustrating part of this relationship was the self-respect she lost. She was in shock that another person could tear her apart and traumatize her for the rest of her life.

Kate came forward about her story because she wants to help other women.

Credit: Real Women Real Stories / Youtube

“I don’t sacrifice not for my family, not for my career, no. If I do anything it’s because I think it’s for the best. If I give away my things or my emotions or whatever, it’s because in the end I think it’s going to be for the better, and that makes me feel amazing. But there’s no sacrifice. We don’t need to sacrifice. Women, we don’t need to apologize, for anything, for anything. For being a woman? Of course not.”

Luis did respond to her allegations by basically not denying that it happened.

According to Telemundo, he said: “I was very careful to say absolutely nothing, I did not say it several years ago, 15 or so, I will not say it now. For me it was a closed chapter. ”

Watch the full video here:


READ: Christina Milian Opens Up about Domestic Abuse on Her Reality TV Show

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A 25-Year-Old Mexican Woman Was Killed By Her Abusive Husband After Seeking Help 16 Times From Authorities

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A 25-Year-Old Mexican Woman Was Killed By Her Abusive Husband After Seeking Help 16 Times From Authorities

Centro Reforma / YouTube

Two of the biggest misconceptions about domestic abuse is that a victim needs to leave their abuser or seek help in order to escape their situation. More often than not, a victim has sought out both routes without success. Leaving a situation where one person is being abused by someone they know could be close to impossible. An abuser, at times, will stop at nothing in order to keep a very tight grip on their victim. What makes this matter even worse is that the agencies that are supposed to help victims, ultimately fail them. 

A 25-year-old Mexican woman was killed by her husband even though she had contacted a women’s justice center for help 16 times prior. 

This horrific crime, which could have been prevented, occurred last year, but new details into what led to her death are only now being revealed. According to several Spanish-language news outlets, Vanesa Gaytán Ochoa reached out to the Centro de Justicia para las Mujeres in Jalisco, Mexico, at least 16 times for help. 

According to El Universal, Gaytán Ochoa reached out to the Centro de Justicia para las Mujeres Jalisco for the last time on April 13 to seek out protection from her husband, Irwin Emmanuel Ramírez Barajas only to end up being killed 12 days later. 

“The efforts to prove the degree of participation of the killer were null and void and [the Centro de Justicia para las Mujeres] didn’t even try to locate or inhibit him from carrying out illegal activities,” the Human Rights Commission said, according to El Universal. 

On the day she was killed, Gaytán Ochoa called her lawyer to tell them that her husband was after her. She was advised to go to the governor’s mansion, where a meeting about security was taking place. Gaytán Ochoa took a cab there and did not realize her husband was following her. 

Credit: Centro Reforma / YouTube

Gaytán Ochoa stood outside the governor’s mansion, and her husband drove up and hit her with his car. He got out and stabbed her to death. The entire crime was caught on a surveillance camera.

Gaytán Ochoa didn’t do a thing wrong. In fact, she took all of the proper steps a domestic abuse victim is supposed to do in order to escape their abuser. She had a restraining order against her husband, and yet he violated it time and time again. 

“When a protection order is issued, the authority undertakes to guarantee the life of the complainant,” amnesty international said in a statement last year. “This must materialize in mechanisms that ensure that state and municipal authorities have the information, resources, and personnel that allow them to fulfill the duty to safeguard the lives of women effectively.”

Gaytán Ochoa’s husband was ultimately shot and killed by a security guard at the governor’s mansion. But the damage was already done. She was dead, and now people are seeking justice in her name. [Warning: video contains graphic images.]

According to news reports, it’s unclear who is to blame whether it is the center for women or state officials, but what is certain is that Gaytán Ochoa’s requests and demands were left unanswered. 

“From the evidence in the case file, it is not observed that the staff of the public prosecutor’s office followed a clear and serious line of investigation aimed at verifying the crime and sanctioning the man responsible,” Centro de Justicia para las Mujeres Jalisco said according to El Universal. 

The sentiment on social media over her death of Gaytán Ochoa is also being placed on Jalisco Governor Enrique Alfaro. “The murder of Vanesa Gaytán Ochoa outside Casa Jalisco ‘is the sign of a social decomposition that hurts, offends, unworthy, that gives anger’ and we are all to blame for the social decline.”

Statistically speaking, domestic abuse shows staggering numbers. It’s often said that crimes against women are typically committed by someone they know. 

In 2016, Mexico’s female homicide rate reached 4.5 per 100,000, nearly twice that of 2012, a report by the University of San Diego shows. And that number continues to rise. From 2015 to June 2019, at least 3,080 women were murdered in Mexico

READ: Undocumented Immigrants Are Too Afraid To Report Domestic Abuse Out Of Fear Of Being Deported

A Man From Texas Has Been Charged With Carving His Name Into His Girlfriend’s Forehead

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A Man From Texas Has Been Charged With Carving His Name Into His Girlfriend’s Forehead

@SAcurrent / Twitter

Domestic abuse, whether it entails physical violence or emotional abuse, continues to be a national crisis. Particularly among women of color and those who are undocumented. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. The organization whose mission is to change the conditions that can lead to domestic violence such as patriarchy, privilege, racism, sexism, and classism, has also reported that in the United States an average of about 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. A new court case out of Texas is highlighting the severity of which these abusive relationships can excel to. 

WARNING: the details in this story are graphic and can be traumatizing or triggering to some.

Recently, police in Texas filed criminal charges against a man who allegedly used a knife to carve his name into his girlfriend’s forehead.

Police in Texas say that 19-year-old n was arguing with his girlfriend, 22- year-old Catalina Mireles when things became violent on December 5th. At some point in the argument, Hildreth is reported to have grabbed Mireles by the neck and then hit her in the face about 10 times. Soon after, a police affidavit says that he took hold of a knife and “carved his name onto her forehead.” Soon after, he fled from the apartment. He was arrested on Friday.

Mireles told the local police that she thought she was going to die. “He was going to put in the closet until he figured out what he was going to do with my body,” she told police.

According to KSAT,  Hildreth has a history of domestic and family violence. The police affidavit also stated that he had two outstanding warrants — one for burglary assault and another for assault of family assault. 

Pictures of Mireles after the assault, emerged on outlets such as The New York Post on Monday morning.

In the images, Mireles can be seen suffering from a black eye, with bruises across the side of her face, jaw, and lips and the name ‘Jack’ scratched into her head. 

Speaking to KSAT, Mirele’s mother said that her daughter was “scared for her life.” “He tried to kill her,” Mireles’ mother, Juanita Lopez, told the outlet. “I don’t ever want him to get out again — because he’s going to hurt someone else again.”

Hildreth was jailed on Sunday on a $75,000 bond.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages. Online chat is available 24/7/365 in Spanish. Get help without saying a word.

There are many ways that abuse can be identified. By the way your partner treats you physically, by the way, they treat you emotionally, and by how you feel about the relationship. This checklist of signs of abuse is one tool that you can use to see if you, or someone you know, is a victim of abuse.

And remember, more resources for dealing with abuse can be found by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1800 799 7233.

1. They have grabbed you and refused to let go.

gabkaphoto / Instagram

This falls into the category of physical abuse. No-one should grab you to make you feel threatened and unsafe. No-one.

2. They have pulled your hair.

Instagram: @theerinblythedavis

This is another form of physical abuse. Sure, a bit of hair pulling in the act of passion is fine. But when it happens as part of an argument, or when your partner is deliberately trying to hurt you or make you feel threatened, that is abuse.

3. They have thrown things at you and/or destroyed your belongings.

Instagram: @beatfreak1996

One way your significant other may try to control you is through your belongings. Throwing things at you and destroying your belongings is designed to hurt you physically and emotionally. Threatening to do so also falls under this category of behavior, too.

4. They have left you with bruises, black eyes, bleeding, and/or broken bones.

Instagram: @veeegooose

While abuse doesn’t necessarily have to leave marks on your body, a sure sign of physical abuse in your relationship is when your partner does leave marks. Research shows that once it happens the first time, a “threshold” of sorts has been crossed, and an abuser is more likely to hurt their partner again.

5. They have threatened to hurt or kill you.

Instagram: @raquelitt

It may not seem like abuse, since there are no physical marks left from a threat to hurt or kill you. However, these threats are still part of the arsenal of tools that abusers use. How? Because these threats are designed to control your behavior, and make you feel powerless. Abuse in a relationship is about the abuser gaining and maintaining power, and death threats are a way of emotionally controlling you.

6. They have threatened to take your children away or harm them.

Instagram: @stephaniemaurasanchez

Even if you have children together, children shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip in your relationship. Even more importantly, your children’s safety is non-negotiable: no partner of yours should threaten it. By the way, this doesn’t just apply to children. Pets can also be used to manipulate and control you in a relationship.

7. They have forced you to have sex.

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Sex is not a “duty” to be fulfilled in a loving, equal relationship. Nor should your partner guilt trip or manipulate you into participating in sex acts after you have refused sex. Consent needs to be freely given! It doesn’t matter how long the two of you have been together. Otherwise, it’s classed as sexual assault.