Things That Matter

11 Real Life Wedding Cancellations And Why You Should Never, Ever Judge Women For Pulling The Plug

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Some people seem to forget what weddings really are. Weddings are not about the canapés, the first dance or the ties the groomsmen wear, but about the beginning of a long life together. Yes, that means morning dragon breath, sickness, laundry, bills and maybe snotty bundles of smelly cuteness called babies. The wedding goes by fast and the laughs, drama, and hangovers are soon forgotten. What remains is the discovery of oneself and of the other. So unless you are 100% sure you want to take on that joyous but often rocky path of discovery, you have the right to change your mind right up to the last minute. Sometimes women are forced into marriage, either through violent means or by partners who are passive aggressive and basically guilt their girlfriends into marriage.

However, popular culture and la pinche sociedad machista have demonized those who cancel a wedding, particularly if the one who took the brave but uncomfortable choice is a woman. From romcoms (which stink of heteronormativity by the way) like Julia Roberts’ Runaway Bride to crappy reality shows, the groom is often seen as the victim and the bride as a coward runaway. Why not change the discourse, question choices and think that perhaps it was a bad relationship that needed to end? An engagement ring is not a death sentence and even if you have sent out the invitations, it is your life, your future, your corazón and your body that need to matter the most.

Here are stories of eleven wedding cancellations (for tips on what to expect if you do this, read here). If you wanna keep reading just make a vow: I shall not judge. If you feel the urge to judge these women, and men, who decided to take back their lives instead of committing to a marriage that would not have been a happy one, then please piensa bien en tus ideales en la vida.

1. This queen who lay the rules right from the start: no te metas en lo que no te importa.

Credit: Instagram. @paidcable

This woman has a very clear message. You never know what is going on in a person’s life. If you felt offended because you had already bought a gift and an outfit for the canceled wedding and need to vent out andando de chismosa, well, dude, just stop. Good on you @paidcable!

2. This chap who no perdió el estilo and who has some amazing friends

Credit: Instagram. @gunnerss

This guy is totally right: when you cancel a wedding, emotions run high, and some people actually take it as an act that affects THEM! As if… @gunnerss knows that real friends are there in sickness and in health until death do us part.

3. Now repeat after us: #justsayno #noshame

Credit: Instagram. @evesturges

We love it when women stick together and just say “it is all OK, your life will go on” and, most importantly, “NO SHAME”. Yes, there is no shame in canceling a night, but there is shame in not being true to yourself and getting into a marriage that might be doomed from the start. You might not really love the dude, y se permite, no pasa nada. The hardest word to say is sometimes a simple “no”, but saying it can be life-defining.

4. This lady and her life partner who decided to press the PAUSE button

Credit: Instagram. @misspilsner

We love this post about a couple who canceled the wedding and decided to seek help, get counseling and be at a better place before tying the knot. Sometimes it is not about the person not being right for you, but about the relationship needing more work before the ultimate “I do”.

5. This woman who was rescued by her boyfriend’s female friend

Credit: Twitter. @SanMar0714

This woman basically dodged a womanizer. A Twitter user who had been wooed by the groom contacted the bride, telling her that she had been receiving texts of a not-so-innocent nature from him. The rest, as they say, is history. The bodorrio was cancelled and the bride even ended up at the hospital. Her life with this jijodesu would have been even worse though, so she made the brave, wise choice.

6. But the infidelidad can be even worse when it involves the bride’s family

Credit: Twitter. @pedromurillojr

We hate the manera burlona in which this story is presented, but we decided to include it as it shows how vicious men can be about stories of failed weddings, what toxic masculinity looks like (if you are a dude reading this, take not on what NOT to do). It is no laughing matter: the groom cheated on the bride with her cousin. A relationship and a family relationship shattered. The matrimonio would have been a house of deceit, though.

7. A good end to a failed wedding

Credit: Twitter. @aciprensa

We love what a woman from Indiana, whose $30,000 wedding was canceled, didn’t want it all to go to waste… so she decided to host a grand banquet for the homeless. What a great action. This is a lot of good karma and brownie points in her future life as a strong, independent, single woman. Te amamos.

8. This woman who experienced the most awkward moment of all time

Credit: Instagram. @thespacenymph

Do yourself a favor and read this woman’s story. She likes trying on wedding dresses ever since she was bound to get married. She was doing this with her current BF and surprise… she bumps into her ex-suegros. Ouch! What a way to go down memory lane… or rather, highway to hell!

9. This lady who wants to wear that gorge smile and not that wedding dress

Credit: Instagram. @mecmcgie

The hashtags say it all: #almostabride #dodgedabullet #cancelledwedding #happilyeverafterthebreakup. She knew deep in her heart that she would be better off without the dude. In her own words, she dodged a bullet. We hope she treated herself with the $450 she sold the dress for!

10. Wow, this story of self-care and inspiration

Credit: Instagram. @melbay86

We love this success story: it is bittersweet because of the breakup and the fact her mother is no longer here, but it is inspiring in that she took the life-changing event of a canceled wedding as the first step towards discovery and personal betterment. We can only say “te mereces eso y todo lo bueno que venga, reina”. 

11. This tale of deceit and a brave woman who faced the truth


Credit: image. Digital Image. She Said.

A common mistake for people who are about to get married is overlooking the evident flaws that a partner can have. Nadie es perfecto and we can all be better, but sometimes you don’t want to put up with certain things. And that is fair and you have the right to say no. If you are in a similar situation, read the story by Julia Park Tracey in which she accepts being blown away by the sparkles. She writes in her essay” Why I Cancelled My Wedding At The Last Second”: “I didn’t notice the drinking and overlooked the drugs, which he said he didn’t do anymore and went ahead with plans for a big wedding; it was part of the fantasy of marrying Prince Charming”. As we said, the wedding is not the most important part of that night, but the actual “ever after” that follows.

‘My Mom Insisted My Hips Changed’ Latinas Talk About Their Moms Finding Out They Had Sex For The First Time

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‘My Mom Insisted My Hips Changed’ Latinas Talk About Their Moms Finding Out They Had Sex For The First Time

There comes a time in a young woman’s life when she has to venture out into the world and experience everything out there that the world has to offer. And yes, “everything” includes sex. And while sex is a totally natural and expected step in a young woman’s coming-of-age journey, the Latinx community often holds notoriously conservative views about when it’s “okay” for a young woman to have sex for the first time.

This conservative attitude towards woman and sex is nowhere more prominent than it is in the minds of Latinx mothers. Many Latinx moms, especially from older generations, have been trained to believe that a young woman’s worth is tied to her virginity and that it’s a sin to have sex out of wedlock. This attitude makes it hard for girls to talk to their parents about sex, which means a large portion of the Latina population is uneducated about STIs, unwanted pregnancy, contraception, and how being sexually active can impact your emotions. Because of the shame surrounding extramarital sex in the Latinx community, many young women hide the fact that they’ve been having sex from their mothers in order to avoid conflict or avoid being shamed.

That’s why Fierce by mitú took to our Instagram page to ask our followers how their madres reacted when they found out their daughters were no longer virgins. We also wanted to know if our followers decided to keep their virginity statuses to themselves.

Check out the answers below!

1. This mom’s nosiness gave her more than she bargained for

@addictivestock/Instagram

“My mom found out I was having sex when I was 23 years old and she found my birth control (cringe!). This is a pretty common story I share with a lot of my friends but the way my mom found out was pretty mortifying. My novio, who I have been dating since I was 14 and who she has known for as many years, was over at the house. Because my mom has always been very nosey and a helicopter mom I would give him my birth control for safe keeping (For so many reasons Don’t DO THIS!!) Anyway. The birth control fell out of his bag and my mom flipped out. Any other scenario, had I hid it in a closet or sock drawer she would have found out sooner but I probably could have convinced her it was just for acne.” – Veronica, Chicago

2. This mama read between the lines and stayed silent

@lcdfotografia/Instagram

“I kind of had to fess up to my mom because I was moving in with my boyfriend. She’d been asking me since we started dating if I was using protection over and over again and I was too embarrassed to even say that we were having sex. I finally just told her that I was moving in with him and I think she got the deal.” Kathryn, Los Angeles

3. This mom insisted she could tell by just LOOKING at her daughter

@addictivestock/Instagram

“I told my mom years after, but she swears she knew the night I came home that it happened. I’m like c’mon, Mom. No way did you know. But, you know how they are–they know EVERYTHING.” – Laney, San Bernadino

4. The old “hyper-emotional” reaction

@addictivestock/Instagram

“My mom cried so so hard and then instantly got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment. She also claimed she “knew” that I wasn’t anymore anyhow ’cause I “started talking back”. But, I was 21 at that point!” – Yvette

5. The mom who doesn’t know…but c’mon: she knows

@precious.earth.nature/Instagram

“To [my mom] I’m still [a virgin] ’till I’m married….Nahhh I think she probably suspects I’m not by now”. – Connie, Southern California

6. The mom who lives in blissful ignorance

@maarjavahiphotography/Instagram

“I’m 30 years old and still haven’t told my mom. At this point she’s gotta suspect I’m not [a virgin]. But at least I waited until I was 19!” Anna, Chicago

7. The Suffocating Silence

@jevgenijasorokina/Instagram

“Literally my current situation, lol. I want to tell her but, I’m afraid of her reaction. I don’t think she’ll be mad, but I really would hate for her to cry about it. Send help!” Darlene, Riverside

8. The “Live Your Life” Type of Mom

@olga_lukaneva/Instagram

“I keep it to myself, but I’m pretty sure she knows me better. 😉 ” – Belle, Puerto Rico

9. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy

@bailandoconjulieta/Instagram

“She never asked and I never told her… but for what it’s worth, I waited till I was at least 18.” Tania, Los Angeles

10. The Mom Who Tries and Fails to Guilt Trip

@glam_.dps/Instagram

“She said: ‘Why didnt [you] wait ’till marriage like [I] told over and over again?’. So, I said: “Who said I’ll ever get married?” Lizet, Bakersfield, CA

11. This mom who started crying when she walked in on the act

glam_.dps / Instagram

“I had skipped school to lose my virginity to my high school boyfriend. We had planned it out so that I would play sick and he would skip school and do it when my parents were out of the house. They boy work long hours so we figured we had some time. The actual act went well, but literally just as we finished we heard my front door open. No snuggling. We both jumped up to hide. I’ve always thought it took maybe 30 steps to get from my front door to my room, my mom took five. My boyfriend ducked out of the bathroom and somehow my mom got to the front of the house to confront him. I mean he had no shirt on and was pulling him his pants. She knew. She knew so much she cried.”  Ana, Austin, TX

A Michigan Woman Doesn’t Understand Why People Are Calling Her MAGA-Themed Wedding Racist Because Her Husband Is Black

Things That Matter

A Michigan Woman Doesn’t Understand Why People Are Calling Her MAGA-Themed Wedding Racist Because Her Husband Is Black

It’s 2019 and there is no denying the people have had their fair share of witnessing cringy racist moments. We’ve seen some caca. Walmart confrontations from seemingly sweet grandmas telling Latinos to go “back to Mexico” and midnight Twitter rants from the U.S. president have become our new normal. Nothing really makes us bat an eye anymore. Nothing I tell you. Nada. Or, so I thought.

You see, recently I saw that a couple from Kalamazoo, Michigan had a# MAGAPatriotWedding and was trending on Twitter and I was mostly like…

VH1 / GIF

Yes mi gente. This was my actual reaction.

But then I clicked in and saw the photos and I was like…

Monster-in-Law / New Line Cinema 

And it honestly felt good. Because it means I haven’t, and hopefully, we haven’t become immune to offensive people. That we refuse to stand up for it!

Anyway, here we go:

A couple from Kalamazoo, Michigan, had a#MAGAPATRIOTWEDDING!

ICK.

According to CBS News, Audra Johnson married her husband in a traditional plain but changed into a dress that was more representative of her true love? Johnson made an appearance during the wedding reception in a white gown with sparkly red lettering that read Donald Trump’s campaign slogan “Make America Great Again.”

It gets better.

The mermaid dress had a train that had the words “TRUMP” in red glitter too. 

What’s more, Johnson had her bridesmaids wear blue gowns and the dreadful red MAGA hats.

In an interview with CBS, Johnson said that the dress was originally meant to have a patriotic-theme. Then, she reached out to dress designer Andre Sorian who is a notorious Trump supporter and creates red-white-and-blue gowns that have included a “Trump 2020” dresses.

Recently Soriano’s made waves with his gowns at the Grammy Awards.

Black  singer Joy Villa wore the dress to the 2017 Grammys.

BUT the dress isn’t about THAT deplorable its about this newly wedded one. So anyway:

Johnson decided she wanted to wear Sorian’s dress on her wedding day and traveled to D.C. to have it made.

#magapatriotwedding

Posted by Audra Johnson on Monday, July 8, 2019

“It took four days of him doing measurements and putting the dress together,” Johnson told CBS News. “But it was amazing. Him and his husband are fabulous.” 

Johnson wasn’t the only one to wear something tacky to her wedding.

Her wedding guests were invited to wear “patriotic” gear as well AND bring guns to the wedding.

Tumblr. Giphy.com

The groom, Jeff Johnson–is a Black Marine veteran who apparently has been MIA when it comes to the newsfeeds coverage of Black people in gun-packed Trump Country– and wore his dress uniform. He made sure to also hold onto a gun in his photos.

Speaking about the decision to have guns, Johnson said that “Being a patriotic wedding, we really did encourage people to do whatever they felt comfortable with if they wanted to open-carry if they wanted to conceal-carry.”

Johnson said that her maid of honor is a Democrat and didn’t feel comfortable wearing a MAGA hat. “She said, ‘You know I love you, but I don’t feel comfortable wearing a MAGA hat,'” Johnson explained. “I said, ‘That’s fine, we can find you a plain red one to wear.’ We were able to compromise on that. We can believe differently but still very much love each other.”

Of course, photos of the MAGA wedding has generated quite a bit of social media traction.

#magapatriotwedding

Posted by Audra Johnson on Sunday, July 7, 2019

“It’s been absolutely crazy,” Johnson said. “Amazing patriots said they love the dress and support us. But then there’s the other side, where we’ve gotten threats, and there’s been really nasty comments.”

“A lot of the comments are ‘It’s a racist wedding.’ I’m the granddaughter of a Filipino immigrant, my husband’s black,” Johnson said. “I think what I want people to take from this is there’s a stereotype of Trump supporters flying around out there and maybe some of them are like that, but most of us aren’t like that.” 

Um okay. In either case, I guess congratulations to the r̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶ bride and her r̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶ husband.

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