Fierce

Latino Twitter Is No Impressed By The ‘Guacamole Cheese’ A Supermarket Is Attempting To Hawk

This is why we can’t have nice things.

In a world where extreme marketing has generated awful food mashups, (Yas girl, things like hot dog eclairs, Peeps Flavored Milk and spam donuts really exist out here) there’s a reason why true basics like queso and guacamole are so beloved and valued. The two foods, which have been making appearances at the parilla since forever, aren’t just good, they are convention. A part of our culture and custom, if you will.

And they ought to not be fussed with.

But apparently, a supermarket in North Carolina just doesn’t get it. According to a representative of the brand, Fresh Market, an American chain of “gourmet” supermarkets will launch the Amanti Guacamole Cheese on May 1st.

The Gouda/ Guacamole mashup will be green be mixed with lime juice, chili, tomato, onion, and garlic.

Can you hear my screams yet???

For a limited time only (thank GAWD!) the puke green colored cheese with “a smooth texture and rich creamy guacamole taste’ will be in the chain’s 161 supermarkets. So… stock up? Or find shelter and wait it out. You pick.

Until then, know that just about everyone has an opinion about the new food.

Pretty much everyone is certain the cheese is as poor quality as it sounds.

Thank you Matt.

Others, on another level of whack, are like um yeah this sounds perf.

And I respectfully disagree Natalie.

Like this one is gearing people up to go to therapy tbh!

Boi book an appointment with your therapist RN!

Like first y’all tried to put peas in my guacamole now THIS?!!

Ay-ay-ay.

Literally no one:

Sus Food Market: HOW CAN WE DESTROY GUACAMOLE!?!

Latinx family: we have been blessed with a diaspora rich in avocado trees. Before avocados became all the rage, we grew the fruit of the gods in our backyards and made guacamole with it.

Here’s the thing, we cannot limit such a magical fruit to just one dish. Here are just 24 of probably hundreds of ways to use avocado and honor the fruit that gives us life

1. Avocado Toast

ways to use avocado
@avocados / Twitter

Don’t worry. This isn’t another post about avocado toast, but it belongs at the top of the list. Smashed avocados + warm, toasted bread is as comfort food as it gets. But avocado can do so much more.

2. Like make this avocado gelato.

@allice_park / Twitter

Did someone say comfort food earlier? And yes, you need to save the avocado shell because it’s nature’s bowl.

3. Baked Avocado Fries

@AvosMexicoCA / Twitter

Imagine biting into a crispy fry and instead of chewing down on boring, pedestrian potato, you’re eating the baked creamy fruit of our gods? Well, you can! It’s easy, just get some avocados and an oven and google that ish.

4. Sub avocado for mayo.

@BabaganoshBlog / Twitter

Literally, avocados are nature’s mayo and I will fight you on that. You can use it to make egg salad, and get many more nutrients and avocados have 0% cholesterol!

5. Make avocado pesto noodles.

@BoulderInst / Twitter

Did I eat this for both lunch and dinner yesterday? Claro q sí. And I’ll eat it again for breakfast this morning. Just blend an avocado with some basil leaves, spices, and coconut milk for a creamy taste of heaven for a nut-free, dairy-free option!

6. Chilled Avocado Gazpacho

@Buzzfeed / Twitter

You’re going to make this with avocados, chickpeas and cucumbers as the base, and then you’re going to eat a whole blender full in one sitting and thank me.

7. Bake avocados into a cake!

@Allergy_F_York / Twitter

This is a great options for all you veganos out there! Avocados are binding, like eggs, so you can sub half an avocado per egg and see what happens. Spoiler: feasting is in your future.

8. Or just turn it into cake icing.

@1KitchenStories / Twitter

I mean, it’s kind of the perfect texture, am I right? Just add some pistachios and sugar to the avocado, blend, and try to leave some for the actual cake because you’ll want to eat this with a spoon.

9. Avocado-Strawberry Bruschetta

“Another spin on avo toast. Get the recipe here.” Digital Image. Buzzfeed. 17 May 2018.

Another tropical take on an Italian classic. You already know what to do, and don’t think this would be possible without avocado. #DairyFree #Vegan

10. Bake a damn egg in an avocado.

@avocados / Twitter

Seriously, I dare you. Just layer smoked salmon and crack an egg on top and bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Top with chile and write me thank you letters.

11. What’s an empanada without avocado drizzle?

@avocados / Twitter

Blend an avocado with cilantro and lime and store it in a ziploc bag. Cut the tip off and use it as a piper to seriously zest up your empanada game.

12. Avocado-Corn Soup

@avocados / Twitter

Forget thickening your corn soup with a can of condensed milk. Avocados are like gold that grows from trees. Use them, mija.

13. Make a dip that isn’t guacamole

@avocados / Twitter

Let’s call this a mustard dip. I mean, really, mustard could only be improved with avocados.

14. That’s an avocado milkshake ⬇️

@ErikMeadows / Twitter

And while you can make healthy smoothies using avocado, kale, etc, milkshakes are just better. Blend a can of full-fat coconut milk with mint leaves, avocado and a sprinkle of brown sugar or stevia and call yourself blessed.

15. Who says you can’t serve cafécito in a cup of avocado?

@FactRiverCom / Twitter

Like I said: nature’s bowl. I’m shooketh to say that Australians thought of this before we did, but I’m h/t anyway.

16. Yup, there’s avocado in that chocolate mousse.

@FayeJosa / Twitter

The cacao drowns out any taste of the avocado, so you’re left with the creamy texture of avocados and the bittersweet yumminess of cacao.

17. That’s some avocado-cilantro hummus right there.

@Gatherings_Inc / Twitter

Why wouldn’t this be delicious? You already know what to do, fam. This next one will elevate your Insta game.

18. Beet-Hummus Stuffed Avocados

@inspiredby_nick / Twitter

You can stuff an avocado with whatever tf you want, but we recommend the pretty pink hummus shown here. All you need is one beet for this recipe, and probably more than one stomach around.

19. Key Lime Tart

@natbotica-keylime / Twitter

My Floridian fam: you’ve got all the best limes, and your cousins have all the avocado trees. You live in a paradise. Act like it and make this.

20. We can’t forget avocado brownies.

@radiancecleanse / Twitter

They truly add a fudgey texture to these bad boys that you can attribute to a serving of fruit. How millennial am I for wanting to worship an avocado tree right now?

21. Make yourself a vegan deviled egg.

@ReInVeganate / Twitter

You can be bad and bougie, too, my amigos veganos. You can also stuff a baked baby potato with a turmeric-nooch blend of avocados if you want to swap which part of the egg this is.

22. Stuff the avocado, then fry it. 😭

@UrbanSwank / Twitter

This is real, y’all. This one is stuffed with crab meat and then deep fried, but get creative for us and let us know what you’d make in the comments below.

23. Behold, a variation on an avocado milkshake:

@ZengaTVMedia / Twitter

Frozen bananas. That’s what usually makes smoothies so creamy, but you can use them with avocados and coconut milk to add some natural sweetener to your shake.

24. I leave you with avocado cream:

“Avocado Cream / Peden + Munk.” Digital Image. Epicurious. 17 May 2018.

I know, this feels counterintuitive, but if you blend an avocado with apple cider vinegar and sour cream (and spices of course), you’ll get yourself a pretty tasty dip. It will never replace guacamole, but it’ll do with fries.

Does Anybody Really Know What’s Supposed To Happen After You Get The Baby Jesus Figurine In La Rosca De Reyes?

Culture

Does Anybody Really Know What’s Supposed To Happen After You Get The Baby Jesus Figurine In La Rosca De Reyes?

alejandro.munoz.p / Instagram

Remember Día de Reyes when everyone cuts the rosca and hopes to god not to get the little niño Jesus? If you grew up Mexican, you probably know that whoever gets the baby Jesus figurine owes everyone tamales. But when is the tamal party? And most importantly—why? Keep reading to find out what El Día de la Candelaria means, what your abuelitas and tías are actually celebrating and how it originated —spoiler alert: it’s colonization.

February 2nd may be Groundhog Day in the United States, but in Mexico, and for many Latinos outside of Mexico, there is a completely different celebration on this date.

The religious holiday is known as Día de la Candelaria (or Candlemas in English). And on this day of the year, people get together with family and friends to eat tamales, as a continuation of the festivities of Three Kings’ Day on January 6. 

This is why your abuelita dresses up her niño Jesús in extravagant outfits.

For Día de la Candelaria it’s customary for celebrants to dress up figures of the Christ Child in special outfits and take them to the church to be blessed. Día de la Candelaria is traditionally a religious and family celebration, but in some places, such as Tlacotalpan, in the state of Veracruz, it is a major fiesta with fairs and parades.

February 2nd is exactly forty days after Christmas and is celebrated by the Catholic church as the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin.

Alternatively, this day also counts as the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple. The origin of this religious feast day comes from ancient Jewish tradition. According to Jewish law, a woman was considered unclean for 40 days after giving birth, and it was customary to bring a baby to the temple after that period of time had passed. So the idea is that Mary and Joseph would have taken Jesus to the temple to be blessed on February second, forty days after his birth on December 25.

The tradition goes back to around the 11th Century in Europe.

People typically took candles to the church to be blessed as part of the celebration. This tradition was based on the biblical passage of Luke 2:22-39 which recounts how when Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple, a particularly devout man named Simeon embraced the child and prayed the Canticle of Simeon: “Now thou dost dismiss thy servant, O Lord, according to thy word in peace; Because my eyes have seen thy salvation, Which thou hast prepared before the face of all peoples: A light to the revelation of the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.” The reference to the light inspired the celebration of the blessing of the candles.

In Mexico Día de la Candelaria is a follow-up to the festivities of Three Kings Day on January 6th.

On Día De Reyes, when children receive gifts, families and friends gather together to eat Rosca de Reyes, a special sweet bread with figurines of a baby (representing the Child Jesus) hidden inside. The person (or people) who received the figurines on Three Kings Day are supposed to host the party on Candlemas Day. Tamales are the food of choice.

This tradition also carries Pre-Hispanic roots.

After the Spanish conquistadors introduced the Catholic religion and masked indigenous traditions with their own, to help spread evangelization, many villagers picked up the tradition of taking their corn to the church in order to get their crops blessed after planting their seeds for the new agricultural cycle that was starting. They did this on February 2, which was the eleventh day of the first month on the Aztec calendar —which coincidentally fell on the same day as the Candelaria celebration. It’s believed that this is why, to this day, the celebratory feast on February 2 is all corn-based —atole and tamales.

This date is special for other reasons too… 

February 2, marks the halfway point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox, which aligns with the pagan holiday of Imbolc. Since ancient times, this date was thought to be a marker or predictor of the weather to come, which is why it is also celebrated as Groundhog Day in the United States. There was an old English saying that went “if Candlemas be fair and bright, Winter has another flight. If Candlemas brings clouds and rain, Winter will not come again.” In many places, this is traditionally seen as the best time to prepare the earth for spring planting.

In Perú the Fiesta de la Candelaria is a festival in honor of the Virgin of Candelaria, patron saint of the city of Puno and it is one of the biggest festivals of culture, music, and dancing in the country.

The huge festival brings together the Catholic faith and Andean religion in homage to the Virgin of Candelaria. The Virgin represents fertility and purity. She is the patron saint of the city and is strongly associated with the Andean deity of ‘Pachamama’ (‘mother earth’). It is this common factor of both religions that brings them together for the festival. In 2014, UNESCO declared the festival an Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity. The main dates of ‘Fiesta de la Candelaria’ are February 2nd – 12th.

El Chapo’s Daughter Is Using His Name And Face to Launch A Beer Brand After She Launched A Fashion Line

Culture

El Chapo’s Daughter Is Using His Name And Face to Launch A Beer Brand After She Launched A Fashion Line

elchapo701 / Instagram

It seems like everybody today is trying to get in on the alcohol business. Whether it’s The Rock with a new tequila brand or Ryan Reynolds buying a gin company, it seems to be all the rage right now that even “El Chapo” is getting his own line of beers. 

Say hello to the “El Chapo 701” brand run by Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman’s daughter Alejandrina Guzman Salazar, who also is behind a fashion and lifestyle company built around her jailed father’s brand. The new line of beer, called El Chapo Mexican Lager, was unveiled for the first time to the public on Jan. 14 at a fashion trade show in Guadalajara, Mexico. 

“It hasn’t been released for sale to the public yet. I just brought some to display,” spokeswoman Adriana Ituarte told AFP, as the beer line is currently still waiting on government approval to sell beer in Mexico. The alcohol displayed at the trade showed brown, black and white labeled craft beer bottles with the Sinaloa cartel leader’s infamous mustache face adorned on them. 

Alejandrina Guzman Salazar’s company is banking on the idea that people will want to buy craft beer, labeled and named after her infamous father, at bars and markets in Mexico. 

Beer lovers won’t have to break the bank either when it comes to purchasing the new line of beer which comes in at 70.10 pesos, or about $3.73, for a 355 ml bottle. There is also the name of the brand, “El Chapo 701” which has an interesting meaning behind it. The “701” is a reference to El Chapo’s place on the 2009 list of the world’s richest persons from Forbes magazine (estimated at $1 billion). 

The “El Chapo” beer is expected to have a large fan base due to the notoriety of the imprisoned drug cartel leader and a growing market for collectible celebrity alcoholic beverages like these. The company is hoping that, besides just the name and branding of the beer, fans will actually enjoy the drink and keep coming back to it.

“I don’t know if we take the label off and the beer is good if it’s going to sell,’  Ituarte told the Daily Mail. “But obviously the brand gives the plus of sale, we continue with the idea that we are selling and as long as the product is good, people buy it and like it.”

Ituarte said at the trade show that the product will be sold at bars throughout Mexico that also sell stock craft beer, a market that has flourished in Mexico City in recent years due to the growth of microbreweries. The lager was produced by La Chingonería, a Mexico City-based brewery company. 

“This is an artisanal beer, with 4 percent alcohol. This prototype is a lager, and it’s made up of malt, rice, and honey so it’s good,” Ituarte told Daily Mail. “And the idea is for it to be sold at bars that stock craft beer.”

This is not the first time that “El Chapo” has seen his name being cashed in on by his family. There has been a clothing and accessories line made in tribute of Guzman.

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@granexpoventa @lalalaladyboss701 @tulum

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Salazar’s company has already cashed in on her father’s name with a line of T items such as t-shirts, belts, purses, and jackets all adorned with imagery of Guzman and the 701 logo. The brand has been quite successful in under a year of going public which shows the power of “El Chapo’s” name. 

Salazar isn’t the only one getting in on the drug lord’s name. Last March Guzmán’s wife, Emma Coronel, launched a fashion and leisurewear line, licensed by her husband. “I’m very excited to start this project, which was based on ideas and concepts that my husband and I had years ago,” Coronel told CNN in a statement at the time of the launch. “It is a project dedicated to our daughters.”

These dedicated “El Chapo” brands show the notoriety and the power of his name when it comes to marketing. If this new beer line is anything like the clothing and accessories already released under his name, there is sure to be a market for this too. 

Guzman is currently serving a life sentence at a supermax prison in Colorado after being convicted on drug trafficking and weapons charges in 2019. El Chapo was forced to forfeit $12.6 billion as part of his punishment.

READ: California Man Is Using His Culture To Create Hilarious And Super Relevant Mexican Greet Cards