Fierce

Latino Twitter Is No Impressed By The ‘Guacamole Cheese’ A Supermarket Is Attempting To Hawk

This is why we can’t have nice things.

In a world where extreme marketing has generated awful food mashups, (Yas girl, things like hot dog eclairs, Peeps Flavored Milk and spam donuts really exist out here) there’s a reason why true basics like queso and guacamole are so beloved and valued. The two foods, which have been making appearances at the parilla since forever, aren’t just good, they are convention. A part of our culture and custom, if you will.

And they ought to not be fussed with.

But apparently, a supermarket in North Carolina just doesn’t get it. According to a representative of the brand, Fresh Market, an American chain of “gourmet” supermarkets will launch the Amanti Guacamole Cheese on May 1st.

The Gouda/ Guacamole mashup will be green be mixed with lime juice, chili, tomato, onion, and garlic.

Can you hear my screams yet???

For a limited time only (thank GAWD!) the puke green colored cheese with “a smooth texture and rich creamy guacamole taste’ will be in the chain’s 161 supermarkets. So… stock up? Or find shelter and wait it out. You pick.

Until then, know that just about everyone has an opinion about the new food.

Pretty much everyone is certain the cheese is as poor quality as it sounds.

Thank you Matt.

Others, on another level of whack, are like um yeah this sounds perf.

And I respectfully disagree Natalie.

Like this one is gearing people up to go to therapy tbh!

Boi book an appointment with your therapist RN!

Like first y’all tried to put peas in my guacamole now THIS?!!

Ay-ay-ay.

Literally no one:

Sus Food Market: HOW CAN WE DESTROY GUACAMOLE!?!

Latinx family: we have been blessed with a diaspora rich in avocado trees. Before avocados became all the rage, we grew the fruit of the gods in our backyards and made guacamole with it.

Here’s the thing, we cannot limit such a magical fruit to just one dish. Here are just 24 of probably hundreds of ways to use avocado and honor the fruit that gives us life

1. Avocado Toast

ways to use avocado
@avocados / Twitter

Don’t worry. This isn’t another post about avocado toast, but it belongs at the top of the list. Smashed avocados + warm, toasted bread is as comfort food as it gets. But avocado can do so much more.

2. Like make this avocado gelato.

@allice_park / Twitter

Did someone say comfort food earlier? And yes, you need to save the avocado shell because it’s nature’s bowl.

3. Baked Avocado Fries

@AvosMexicoCA / Twitter

Imagine biting into a crispy fry and instead of chewing down on boring, pedestrian potato, you’re eating the baked creamy fruit of our gods? Well, you can! It’s easy, just get some avocados and an oven and google that ish.

4. Sub avocado for mayo.

@BabaganoshBlog / Twitter

Literally, avocados are nature’s mayo and I will fight you on that. You can use it to make egg salad, and get many more nutrients and avocados have 0% cholesterol!

5. Make avocado pesto noodles.

@BoulderInst / Twitter

Did I eat this for both lunch and dinner yesterday? Claro q sí. And I’ll eat it again for breakfast this morning. Just blend an avocado with some basil leaves, spices, and coconut milk for a creamy taste of heaven for a nut-free, dairy-free option!

6. Chilled Avocado Gazpacho

@Buzzfeed / Twitter

You’re going to make this with avocados, chickpeas and cucumbers as the base, and then you’re going to eat a whole blender full in one sitting and thank me.

7. Bake avocados into a cake!

@Allergy_F_York / Twitter

This is a great options for all you veganos out there! Avocados are binding, like eggs, so you can sub half an avocado per egg and see what happens. Spoiler: feasting is in your future.

8. Or just turn it into cake icing.

@1KitchenStories / Twitter

I mean, it’s kind of the perfect texture, am I right? Just add some pistachios and sugar to the avocado, blend, and try to leave some for the actual cake because you’ll want to eat this with a spoon.

9. Avocado-Strawberry Bruschetta

“Another spin on avo toast. Get the recipe here.” Digital Image. Buzzfeed. 17 May 2018.

Another tropical take on an Italian classic. You already know what to do, and don’t think this would be possible without avocado. #DairyFree #Vegan

10. Bake a damn egg in an avocado.

@avocados / Twitter

Seriously, I dare you. Just layer smoked salmon and crack an egg on top and bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Top with chile and write me thank you letters.

11. What’s an empanada without avocado drizzle?

@avocados / Twitter

Blend an avocado with cilantro and lime and store it in a ziploc bag. Cut the tip off and use it as a piper to seriously zest up your empanada game.

12. Avocado-Corn Soup

@avocados / Twitter

Forget thickening your corn soup with a can of condensed milk. Avocados are like gold that grows from trees. Use them, mija.

13. Make a dip that isn’t guacamole

@avocados / Twitter

Let’s call this a mustard dip. I mean, really, mustard could only be improved with avocados.

14. That’s an avocado milkshake ⬇️

@ErikMeadows / Twitter

And while you can make healthy smoothies using avocado, kale, etc, milkshakes are just better. Blend a can of full-fat coconut milk with mint leaves, avocado and a sprinkle of brown sugar or stevia and call yourself blessed.

15. Who says you can’t serve cafécito in a cup of avocado?

@FactRiverCom / Twitter

Like I said: nature’s bowl. I’m shooketh to say that Australians thought of this before we did, but I’m h/t anyway.

16. Yup, there’s avocado in that chocolate mousse.

@FayeJosa / Twitter

The cacao drowns out any taste of the avocado, so you’re left with the creamy texture of avocados and the bittersweet yumminess of cacao.

17. That’s some avocado-cilantro hummus right there.

@Gatherings_Inc / Twitter

Why wouldn’t this be delicious? You already know what to do, fam. This next one will elevate your Insta game.

18. Beet-Hummus Stuffed Avocados

@inspiredby_nick / Twitter

You can stuff an avocado with whatever tf you want, but we recommend the pretty pink hummus shown here. All you need is one beet for this recipe, and probably more than one stomach around.

19. Key Lime Tart

@natbotica-keylime / Twitter

My Floridian fam: you’ve got all the best limes, and your cousins have all the avocado trees. You live in a paradise. Act like it and make this.

20. We can’t forget avocado brownies.

@radiancecleanse / Twitter

They truly add a fudgey texture to these bad boys that you can attribute to a serving of fruit. How millennial am I for wanting to worship an avocado tree right now?

21. Make yourself a vegan deviled egg.

@ReInVeganate / Twitter

You can be bad and bougie, too, my amigos veganos. You can also stuff a baked baby potato with a turmeric-nooch blend of avocados if you want to swap which part of the egg this is.

22. Stuff the avocado, then fry it. 😭

@UrbanSwank / Twitter

This is real, y’all. This one is stuffed with crab meat and then deep fried, but get creative for us and let us know what you’d make in the comments below.

23. Behold, a variation on an avocado milkshake:

@ZengaTVMedia / Twitter

Frozen bananas. That’s what usually makes smoothies so creamy, but you can use them with avocados and coconut milk to add some natural sweetener to your shake.

24. I leave you with avocado cream:

“Avocado Cream / Peden + Munk.” Digital Image. Epicurious. 17 May 2018.

I know, this feels counterintuitive, but if you blend an avocado with apple cider vinegar and sour cream (and spices of course), you’ll get yourself a pretty tasty dip. It will never replace guacamole, but it’ll do with fries.

WATCH: Singer Cuco Is Teaching Fans How To Make Authentic Enchiladas Verdes From His Abuelita

Culture

WATCH: Singer Cuco Is Teaching Fans How To Make Authentic Enchiladas Verdes From His Abuelita

Tasty / Facebook

Cuco may have become synonymous with dreamy Spanish indie bedroom pop, but he can also make some mean enchiladas verdes just like his abuelita used to make. In a recent recipe video by Tasty, Cuco explains how he got his name. “Cuco came from my mom saying I was crazy, like “coocoo,” cause I was a goofy kid. My grandparents speak Spanish, so they would say I was el Cuco,” he tells Tasty. The 21-year-old singer wanted to show us how to make proper enchiladas verdes because it’s the food he grew up eating, thanks to his mom, and has become one of his favorite dishes.

Here’s Cuco’s recipe, and all the other Mexicanos telling him that their abuela makes it different.

Start with fresh tomatillos, serrano peppers, and garlic.

CREDIT: TASTY / FACEBOOK

I repeat. Cuco does not buy canned or jarred enchilada verde salsa. He makes them like a true abuela.

“If you want your salsa to be spicy, you can up the number of serrano peppers. If you like it more mild, I recommend using maybe like one or just like half a serrano pepper. You can also remove the seeds,” Cuco advises his Tasty viewers. “I personally like spicy, so I put serrano peppers to make it hot.”

Cuco isn’t about seedless salsa verde, y’all. He also reveals that he knows more than just how to make good enchilada verde salsa. He knows the why of it all.

“The reason we boil the tomatoes, onions, garlic, and the serrano peppers, is because we want to maintain the green color. If we were to roast the ingredients, we’d get more of a browner salsa,” he says in the video, casually blowing our uneducated minds.

After boiling everything to your liking, you just blend it all up in a blender, adding water until it becomes the consistency you want in a good enchilada salsa. Then, add the mixture to a pan and saute to bring out the flavors even more. Voila! You’ve made salsa verde. Now, add a thin layer at the bottom of your baking dish.

Don’t be lazy. Fry your tortillas for Cuco-approved enchiladas.

CREDIT: TASTY / FACEBOOK

“It’s definitely worth taking extra time to fry tortillas. A crispier tortilla is more likely to hold its shape while baking and the enchiladas will be less mushy,” Cuco sagely offers like an abuelita would. “After you finish frying your tortillas, you’ll dip them in the remaining salsa. This will make them easier to roll and ensure they won’t dry out while baking,” he added, proving tradition runs deep in this indie artist.

Once you dip the fried tortillas in the salsa, you just to add shredded rotisserie chicken (or the vegan meat of your choice) to the center of the tortilla, and roll.

“We’re using rotisserie chicken here but this recipe is also good if you have any kind of leftover chicken you’re trying to get rid of,” Cuco says, reaching full hay-comida-en-la-casa status at the mention of leftovers.

After you’ve rolled the tortillas, you’ll want to take Cuco’s advice and “be sure to arrange them seam-side down” in the baking dish, so that “they’ll continue to hold its shape and filling during baking.” Top the enchiladas with the remaining salsa verde, and heap plenty of cheese on top. “I go crazy with the cheese. It’s just fire,” Cuco confesses to the outlet. Put it in the oven and broil for 3 minutes. Top off the cooked dish with cilantro and crema to help balance the spices of the salsa verde, and you’ve got yourself Cuco-approved enchiladas verdes.

Cuco thinks its “crucial” for people to try real Mexican food.

CREDIT: TASTY / FACEBOOK

“I think it’s just really crucial to go try Mexican food if you haven’t tried it before because it expands beyond tacos,” he urged Tasty fans. “Tacos are good but there’s a lot more really good dishes in the culture – enchiladas verdes, chilaquiles, tortas, pozole. There’s good food everywhere. It’s good to know where the good food spots are at in your city.” 

Cuco has proven to be a master of both English-language and Spanish-language indie pop music, often gifting us Latino-American Spanglish speakers the gift of Spanglish love songs. We’re even more in love with you, Cuco, given the way to our collective heart is good abuelita food. “I think food really connects people. Music and food are both like art,” Cuco himself said in the Tasty video. That makes Cuco a Renaissance Abuelo.

Watch the full video below.

Enchiladas Verdes Con Pollo As Made By Cuco

Watch as Cuco teaches us how to make his family's delicious enchiladas verdes, made easy with rotisserie chicken and homemade salsa. Follow Cuco on Instagram: http://instagram.com/cucopuffs

Posted by Tasty on Tuesday, November 26, 2019

READ: The Laziest Food Hacks In All Of The Land Would Send Your Abuela To The Chancla

15 Of The Most Tragic And Outrageous Fails From 2019

Entertainment

15 Of The Most Tragic And Outrageous Fails From 2019

When Swedish model Hilla Abrahamson spent her first moments of the year being drenched by a bottle of champagne:

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=525824791154393

She really took poppin’ bottles to the extreme.

When this little boy tried to place a couple of rogue water bottles back where they belonged . . . and then this happened:

credit: reddit user tw272727

He was just trying to be helpful!

When Space X’s Mk1 Starship failed its nitrogen pressure test:

https://i.gyazo.com/93a7ec56047fd30a9cf11bd0aedb29cb.gif

Credit: r/Piscator629 | Reddit

Just last month, SpaceX’s Starship Mk1 prototype suffered a major structural failure on its Boca Chica launchpad in South Texas. Looks like the Mk1 won’t make it to the moon (or Mars), after all.

The time someone stamped this on at least one $5 bill:

Yeah…that’s definitely not the White House. Although, let’s be real—even if it was, Trump barely even lives there. He owns a long list of properties, and until September of this year, he listed New York as his primary state of residence. Since then, his primary residence has been listed as Mar-a-Lago, Florida—not Washington, D.C.

When this person tried to get a pentagram tattoo, but ended up repping the Star of David:

Credit: r/iamtheundefined | Reddit

There’s nothing wrong with getting a Star of David tattoo, especially if it holds special meaning for someone. But if your aim was a pentagram . . . well, those symbols mean very different things. At least this person didn’t notice until someone broke the news to her.

Oh, and the time Ariana Grande got the kanji for “Japanese BBQ Grill”—later “Japanese BBQ Finger”—tattooed on her hand:

Poor Ari . . . it’s an honest mistake, and she’s definitely not the only person to get a badly translated tattoo. This whole ordeal was truly an epic saga for the internet, though. In case you missed it: Ariana Grande wanted to get a Japanese kanji tattoo to celebrate the release of her album Seven Rings. But when her tattoo was finished, it quickly became clear that it read “shichirin,” which means is a Japanese-style grill. Later, when she misinterpreted advice from her Japanese tutor and tried to edit the original tat, she ended up with ink that now means “Japanese BBQ finger.” Yikes.

When a street in Brooklyn was mysteriously covered in raw chicken, with no explanation:

BuzzFeed tried to investigate this bizarre occurrence, but still hasn’t come up with answers. Whether the chicken fell off a delivery truck or was placed there as experimental art . . . this was an undeniably epic fail.

When Joe Biden said he wasn’t ready to legalize marijuana, and Cory Booker responded like this:

Joe Biden’s stance on marijuana is seen as a problem by many reform advocates. Not only does the criminalization of marijuana put Black and Latino folks at a disproportionate risk of incarceration, but it can create difficulties for people who require the use of medicinal marijuana products. However, Cory Booker’s response, though it definitely drew laughs, apparently got him in trouble with his mom.

She allegedly responded like so:

“Did you really accuse the vice president of the United States of smoking marijuana on national TV? Did I raise you better than that?”

When this hamster was photographed “eating oats” and “not” engaging in illicit activities:

Credit: r/starrycub | Reddit

Suuuuure.

The time an audience member of RuPaul’s talk show won a ticket to see Paula Abdul in Vegas and reacted like this:

Maybe this woman was uncomfortable being in the spotlight. Either way, please note how Paula is clapping. Please also note how this woman just does not react. Hilarious.

When teens were doing the #KylieJennerChallenge to the horror of dermatologists everywhere:

In response to the #KylieJennerChallenge, dermatologists warned against its dangers. Turns out treating your lips this way can not only produce immediate bruising and swelling, but it can also damage the collagen in your lips and make them even less plump in the future.

When a large, mildly-poisonous snake escaped inside the Bronx zoo:

Did they ever find it? We don’t know.

When the fortune cookie factory forgot to hire a proofreader:

Credit: reddit user Mercury90210

When this Twitter user almost burned down her house on Thanksgiving:

She didn’t even get to calm down with a piece of pumpkin pie! Well, better to burn the dessert than your entire house.

When Trump tried to get away with abuse of power that may end up in impeachment (oops!):

CNN/ Twitter