Latino Twitter Is No Impressed By The ‘Guacamole Cheese’ A Supermarket Is Attempting To Hawk
This is why we can’t have nice things.
In a world where extreme marketing has generated awful food mashups, (Yas girl, things like hot dog eclairs, Peeps Flavored Milk and spam donuts really exist out here) there’s a reason why true basics like queso and guacamole are so beloved and valued. The two foods, which have been making appearances at the parilla since forever, aren’t just good, they are convention. A part of our culture and custom, if you will.
And they ought to not be fussed with.
But apparently, a supermarket in North Carolina just doesn’t get it. According to a representative of the brand, Fresh Market, an American chain of “gourmet” supermarkets will launch the Amanti Guacamole Cheese on May 1st.
The Gouda/ Guacamole mashup will be green be mixed with lime juice, chili, tomato, onion, and garlic.
Can you hear my screams yet???
For a limited time only (thank GAWD!) the puke green colored cheese with “a smooth texture and rich creamy guacamole taste’ will be in the chain’s 161 supermarkets. So… stock up? Or find shelter and wait it out. You pick.
Until then, know that just about everyone has an opinion about the new food.
Pretty much everyone is certain the cheese is as poor quality as it sounds.
Thank you Matt.
Others, on another level of whack, are like um yeah this sounds perf.
And I respectfully disagree Natalie.
Like this one is gearing people up to go to therapy tbh!
Boi book an appointment with your therapist RN!
Like first y’all tried to put peas in my guacamole now THIS?!!
Literally no one:
Sus Food Market: HOW CAN WE DESTROY GUACAMOLE!?!
Latinx family: we have been blessed with a diaspora rich in avocado trees. Before avocados became all the rage, we grew the fruit of the gods in our backyards and made guacamole with it.
Here’s the thing, we cannot limit such a magical fruit to just one dish. Here are just 24 of probably hundreds of ways to use avocado and honor the fruit that gives us life
1. Avocado Toast
Don’t worry. This isn’t another post about avocado toast, but it belongs at the top of the list. Smashed avocados + warm, toasted bread is as comfort food as it gets. But avocado can do so much more.
2. Like make this avocado gelato.
Did someone say comfort food earlier? And yes, you need to save the avocado shell because it’s nature’s bowl.
3. Baked Avocado Fries
Imagine biting into a crispy fry and instead of chewing down on boring, pedestrian potato, you’re eating the baked creamy fruit of our gods? Well, you can! It’s easy, just get some avocados and an oven and google that ish.
4. Sub avocado for mayo.
Literally, avocados are nature’s mayo and I will fight you on that. You can use it to make egg salad, and get many more nutrients and avocados have 0% cholesterol!
5. Make avocado pesto noodles.
Did I eat this for both lunch and dinner yesterday? Claro q sí. And I’ll eat it again for breakfast this morning. Just blend an avocado with some basil leaves, spices, and coconut milk for a creamy taste of heaven for a nut-free, dairy-free option!
6. Chilled Avocado Gazpacho
You’re going to make this with avocados, chickpeas and cucumbers as the base, and then you’re going to eat a whole blender full in one sitting and thank me.
7. Bake avocados into a cake!
This is a great options for all you veganos out there! Avocados are binding, like eggs, so you can sub half an avocado per egg and see what happens. Spoiler: feasting is in your future.
8. Or just turn it into cake icing.
I mean, it’s kind of the perfect texture, am I right? Just add some pistachios and sugar to the avocado, blend, and try to leave some for the actual cake because you’ll want to eat this with a spoon.
9. Avocado-Strawberry Bruschetta
Another tropical take on an Italian classic. You already know what to do, and don’t think this would be possible without avocado. #DairyFree #Vegan
10. Bake a damn egg in an avocado.
Seriously, I dare you. Just layer smoked salmon and crack an egg on top and bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Top with chile and write me thank you letters.
11. What’s an empanada without avocado drizzle?
Blend an avocado with cilantro and lime and store it in a ziploc bag. Cut the tip off and use it as a piper to seriously zest up your empanada game.
12. Avocado-Corn Soup
Forget thickening your corn soup with a can of condensed milk. Avocados are like gold that grows from trees. Use them, mija.
13. Make a dip that isn’t guacamole
Let’s call this a mustard dip. I mean, really, mustard could only be improved with avocados.
14. That’s an avocado milkshake ⬇️
And while you can make healthy smoothies using avocado, kale, etc, milkshakes are just better. Blend a can of full-fat coconut milk with mint leaves, avocado and a sprinkle of brown sugar or stevia and call yourself blessed.
15. Who says you can’t serve cafécito in a cup of avocado?
Like I said: nature’s bowl. I’m shooketh to say that Australians thought of this before we did, but I’m h/t anyway.
16. Yup, there’s avocado in that chocolate mousse.
The cacao drowns out any taste of the avocado, so you’re left with the creamy texture of avocados and the bittersweet yumminess of cacao.
17. That’s some avocado-cilantro hummus right there.
Why wouldn’t this be delicious? You already know what to do, fam. This next one will elevate your Insta game.
18. Beet-Hummus Stuffed Avocados
You can stuff an avocado with whatever tf you want, but we recommend the pretty pink hummus shown here. All you need is one beet for this recipe, and probably more than one stomach around.
19. Key Lime Tart
My Floridian fam: you’ve got all the best limes, and your cousins have all the avocado trees. You live in a paradise. Act like it and make this.
20. We can’t forget avocado brownies.
They truly add a fudgey texture to these bad boys that you can attribute to a serving of fruit. How millennial am I for wanting to worship an avocado tree right now?
21. Make yourself a vegan deviled egg.
You can be bad and bougie, too, my amigos veganos. You can also stuff a baked baby potato with a turmeric-nooch blend of avocados if you want to swap which part of the egg this is.
22. Stuff the avocado, then fry it. 😭
This is real, y’all. This one is stuffed with crab meat and then deep fried, but get creative for us and let us know what you’d make in the comments below.
23. Behold, a variation on an avocado milkshake:
Frozen bananas. That’s what usually makes smoothies so creamy, but you can use them with avocados and coconut milk to add some natural sweetener to your shake.
24. I leave you with avocado cream:
I know, this feels counterintuitive, but if you blend an avocado with apple cider vinegar and sour cream (and spices of course), you’ll get yourself a pretty tasty dip. It will never replace guacamole, but it’ll do with fries.