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Latinas Are Sharing Their Most Ridiculous Dating Horror Stories And Someone Hold My Drink, I’m Choking

Dating is a minefield. You have to maneuver around all kinds of potential disasters in the hopes of finding that one special person. For every soulmate out there, there are dozens of bombs ready to explode in your face. While dating apps are meant to make the process a little bit easier, they don’t always work that way. From users being dishonest about who they are to unwelcome pictures sliding into your DM’s a lot can go wrong. Basically, whether you use an app or go old school, dating is hard.

Still, when we asked for our readers to share their experiences with dating, we were surprised by some of the outrageous horror stories that they had to tell. In fact, reading these might just make you delete Bumble right off of your smartphone and take a break from looking for love.

1. Just say no to self-hating Latinos.

Instagram / @sue_k4808

I meet this dude who was working at my bank, he asked me out and while we were out he told me he didn’t like bad bunny because he was too flamboyant (already knew fuck this guy) and follows it up by [saying] he normally only dates white chicks but I intrigued him that’s why he asked me out …. he’s Latino so much self loathing smh.” @carrachichi

2. At least you got to go to Disney.

Instagram / @disneyparksblog

“Met a guy he looked really cute in his pics and his voice on the phone Was omg!!! I think I was at least 20-21 when this happened. He worked at Disneyland so he said he’d get me and a friend in for free. Well, when we met Oh wow…he was a short guy nothing like his pics. Poor guy, he was so embarrassed that he had lied….i tried to talk to him but he was always on his phone and he had a girls pic on his phone wallpaper claimed it was his sister 😂😂 awkward. Oh well, we ditched him and roamed Disney for free.” @aryannuh

3. Politics and dating never mix.

Instagram / @castingculturewars

“I went out with a white guy who called me ignorant for being [a] Democrat. I threw my drink on him and left.” @lowhlowh_lodge

4. Yikes!

Instagram / @shop.glassy

“Met up with some guy from tinder at an arcade bar. Once we met, he asked for money and to order him an Uber so he could go pick up. I left to the bathroom, deleted the app, and went home.” @effin_melly

5. Those are fighting words.

Instagram / @myworstdatepodcast

“I went on a dinner date with a guy and he asked me what inspired me, and I said my epilepsy condition has inspired me to be a better mom & an advocate to spread awareness to my rare brain condition. Anyways, the night went on and he offered to “drive me home” since my condition didn’t allow me to drive, so I offered gas. Once we got in the car he looks at me point-blank in the face and said “you’d be the perfect woman if you didn’t have your health condition, but if you’re still down we can fuck” then I punched his tooth out & broke his window and said he can fuck himself 🤷🏻‍♀️” @mrschabelifrancis_

6. You dodged a bullet with this one.

Instagram / @snehj

“Went on a couple of dates with this cute wrestler and one night invited him over for dinner (code for 🍆💦). When he shows up he has band-aids on his face, I asked him what they were for and he said he got ringworm from wrestling mats🤮🤢🥴 When I refused to make out with him etc he left and proceeded to text me calling me a b*tch 🤔😳 Needless to say, never saw him again.” @bizzz_wilzzzz

7. Who does that!?

Instagram / @dating.is.hard

“Met a guy who was into fitness and was a fitness model online. When we got to the restaurant he opened the door and said I didn’t say thank you to him. I brushed it off thinking he was joking. While ordering he kept substituting everything on his meal which was annoying because he was taking forever. When I ordered he asked if I was really going to get that because it was fattening. 😑 When we were leaving the restaurant he again stated that I didn’t say thank you when he opened the door for me. Clearly annoyed, I told him that I had barely crossed the threshold before he even let me do it. I wasn’t feeling him at all and told him if he could take me home because I had things to do. While on the ride back, I asked if he had ever dated any fitness models. He replied that he did but they were very superficial and too into their looks so that’s why he now dated girls that looked like me now. 😤 I wanted to punch him! 😡Clearly done with him I just sat there and couldn’t wait to go home. After some silence, he stated that he was going to take his leftovers for lunch tomorrow and I agreed. He then clearly said, “YOUR leftovers? I bought dinner. That food is mine.” I couldn’t believe him! When we got to my house he leaned in and proceeded to take my leftovers from my lap and put them in his back seat. Who does that!?!?! 🤬🤬🤬” @nattie922

8. Some things are unforgivable. This is one of them.

Instagram / @berrylee.onlineshop

“Was asked out on a date by some guy that was in a band. When he picked me up we started talking and I was looking out the window and when I turned to look at him he had his Vienna sausage out and wanted me to touch it . I said no and he stopped the car and made me walk . 😡. Then had the balls to call me up a few weeks later to ask me out again. Like he thought I would forget.” @twistedmixedchica

9. Dating while Latina is brutal.

Instagram / @wearemitu

I went out with a guy who was VERY concerned if I was undocumented. He was ESPECIALLY concerned if I was from Venezuela since the U.S didn’t have great ties with them. I went out with this other guy who the entire date bashed his family, single parents, and wanted me to know that children in single-parent households would never succeed. I informed him I was a child of a single-parent household and I was pretty successful, in my eyes and my friends and families eyes. Dating as a Latina in 2019…”   @verher89

 
 
 

Major Investigation Reveals That Most Popular Dating Apps Aren’t Keeping Users Safe From Sex Offenders

Things That Matter

Major Investigation Reveals That Most Popular Dating Apps Aren’t Keeping Users Safe From Sex Offenders

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A 16-month investigation conducted by Columbia Journalism Investigations found that the Match Group which owns 45 popular dating apps like Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and OK Cupid does not screen for sexual offenders. Match Group does audit users for sex crimes on their namesake property Match.com, but admits that on its free platforms it expects users to police themselves. 

The CJI report found that the policy leaves users vulnerable to sexual assault, and multiple victims have reported rapes because of it. Tinder, the company’s most successful app, has 5.2 million subscribers. Altogether Match Group is worth $1.7 billion in revenue. Many feel the publicly-traded company owes its subscribers more protection. 

Susan Deveau says her Plenty of Fish date raped her. 

When 54-year-old Deveau met Mark Papamechail on Plenty of Fish in 2016, she had no way of knowing he was a three-time convicted rapist. In Massachusetts, he was listed as a dangerous registered sex offender. After going on several dates, Deveau reported to the police that Papamechail raped her. She was the second woman to report Papamechail for rape after meeting him on a dating app. 

According to the app’s terms of use subscribers must “promise” they haven’t committed a felony, sex crime, or violent crime by agreeing to it. Thus the only method of screening is an honor system that assumes any user would actually read through the lengthy agreement. The company does not try to verify or screen for whether users are being honest or not. 

There’s a reason why Match.com screens for registered sex offenders.

Before Match Group bought up its competitors and became publicly traded, it agreed to screen for sex crimes on its flagship property Match.com. When the company expanded it didn’t extend this policy to its catalog of 45 apps. Match.com only agreed to check its users against the government’s sex offender registries after a public complaint from Carole Markin in 2011.

Markin says she was raped by a man she met on the platform on their second date. Afterward, she discovered he was convicted of rape six times. Markin was able to make her lawsuit public having been an entertainment executive herself. Under pressure, Match.com’s lawyers revealed they had begun implementing the screening process that utilized the government registries. Eventually, Markin settled.

A Match Group spokesperson told CJI that the free platforms don’t collect enough data to create a uniform screening policy. 

“There are definitely registered sex offenders on our free products,” the spokesperson said

CJI found at least 157 incidents of sexual assault across dating apps. 

Most of the assaults happened within the last 5 years. Almost all of the victims were women who met their attackers on a Match Group dating app. 

“In 10% of the incidents, dating platforms matched their users with someone who had been accused or convicted of sexual assault at least once, the analysis found. Only a fraction of these cases involved a registered sex offender,” according to the investigation. 

However, what was most notable was that Match.com, which does have a screening policy, had no assault cases. Match Group’s spokesperson said that tens of millions of people use their platform, therefore 157 cases aren’t enough to warrant an overhaul. 

 “[Match Group] takes the safety, security, and well-being of our users very seriously,” the company said in a statement. “A relatively small amount of the tens of millions of people using one of our dating services have fallen victim to criminal activity by predators. We believe any incident of misconduct or criminal behavior is one too many.”

Some employees told CJI they don’t think the company goes far enough to protect users.

According to the investigation, many who worked at Match Group feel the company doesn’t equip or train them to deal with sexual assault complaints. Some said the process also fails to prevent more harm even after an incident has been reported because banned users can easily make new accounts.

“The problem has grown as the popularity of online dating has soared — in 2015, 12% of American adults were on a dating site, compared with 3% in 2008,” according to the report. “In 2016, the UK National Crime Agency reviewed police reports over a five-year period and found online-dating sexual assault had increased as much as 450% — from 33 to 184 cases.” 

CJI surveyed 1,200 women who used a dating app with the last 15 years. A third of the women surveyed said one of their dates sexually assaulted them, half of these women said it was rape. Match Group refused to comment on the questionnaire. 

Only five states have regulations to protect online daters, but those measures largely exist to prevent scams. With little pressure for the industry to change and as more victims come forward the future of online dating remains uncertain.

Harvard’s Only Latina Professor Was Denied Tenure, Sparking Student Protests and a Larger Conversation About Institutional Racism

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Harvard’s Only Latina Professor Was Denied Tenure, Sparking Student Protests and a Larger Conversation About Institutional Racism

@DivestHarvard / Twiter

Harvard has long been regarded as one of the most prestigious academic institutions in the US, if not the world. The Ivy League University has 36,012 students and 2,400 faculty members from over 150 countries. But although Harvard often boasts of the efforts they make to diversify their students, their faculty, and their curriculum, their track record has been less than stellar. That has been no clearer than in the recent turmoil surrounding the denial of their only Latina Professor, Lorgia García Peña. 

Once students learned of the University President’s decision to deny Garcia tenure, they were dismayed. Garcia’s tenure had been watched closely by the student body throughout the year, some going so far as to conduct a letter-writing campaign on her behalf earlier in the year. Once the initial disappointment at the decision faded, some students felt the need to take action. 

On Monday, roughly 50 students took to Harvard’s University Hall to protest Professor García’s tenure denial.

Although there is a Non-Discrimination and Affirmative Action clause in Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences Appointment Handbook, students believe that the decision to deny García tenure “exemplifies bias in the review process against professors of Ethnic Studies, whose scholarship and mentorship often put them in tension with Harvard’s administration”. 

In light of the upsetting denial of Garcia as a tenured professor, students drafted a petition with a list of demands aimed at the administration. The petition demands that the administration provides students with an explanation as to why Garcia’s tenure was denied. Students also demand a formal investigation into the alleged reasoning behind the tenure denial, with a specific focus on possible unconscious or structrual bias. Last but not least, the students demand the formal establishment of an Ethnic Studies Division–a request that the student body has been pursuing since 1972. 

For college professors, securing tenure is widely thought of as the most important accomplishment in their academic career.

According to The American Association of University Professors, becoming a tenured professor means that you “can be terminated only for cause or under extraordinary circumstances”. In other words, it is a professor’s permanent job contract, which grants them greater academic freedom and protects them from being arbitrary fired. Usually, a professor is granted tenure after a probationary period of six years after which they’ve established themselves as valuable to the institution they’re working for. Usually during this time, they’re expected to publish academic research and findings to prove their value.

According to Professor Robert Anderson of Pepperdine University, tenure means that professors “are the most secure” in the unpredictable game of university politics. “[Tenured professors] are more like debt holders. If anyone bears the risk, it’s the staff who get tossed in the trash to save faculty”.

The uproar over Garcia’s tenure denial represents the larger struggle that many Latinx academics face when trying to establish themselves in higher education. 

As Latina Harvard student Mercedes Gomez tweeted on Monday, “Harvard flaunts its diversity and its admission numbers, but refuses to do the work to cultivate an environment for its students of color to feel safe and represented”. This statement rings true

As for the broader Latino community, they have not stayed silent on social media when commenting on Harvard’s questionable decision.

The fact itself that Professor Garcia is the only Latina on the faculty on the tenure track is room enough for skepticism. 

Harvard student Mercedes Gomez is especially invested in justice for Professor Garcia. 

https://twitter.com/gomezsb_/status/1201607299741212672?s=20

Let’s hope that the students’ activism spurs Harvard to re-think their decision.

This Latina academic has some chilling stories to tell about the way POC academics are structurally oppressed by academic institutions:

https://twitter.com/yarimarbonilla/status/1201689622583160832?s=20

The evidence seems to be piling up that these professors are denied tenure because their ideas don’t align with the institution’s bottom line. 

This Latina made a valid observation about how boringly predictable these tenure outcomes for WOC have become.

https://twitter.com/allisonefagan/status/1201864198403305472?s=20

The problem with institutional racism is that it’s so insidious–it’s often hard to see when it’s in front of you. And it’s even harder to call out.

This Latina is angry simply at the denial because of Garcia’s stellar resume. 

https://twitter.com/marisollebron/status/1201597626233315329?s=20

It’s frustrating to see that Ivy League institutions recruit off their claims of radical inclusivity, but their administrations don’t follow through when it comes to changing the structures of their institutions. 

The reason for Garcia’s tenure denial should be made public and then investigated. Because if this isn’t evidence of institutional racism, we don’t know what is.