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20 Things I Never Want To Hear Come Out Of Your Dang Mouth When I’m On My Period

Unless you want an earful, never ask a “moody” mujer if she’s on her period. While having a period (which is obviously natural and inevitable) and talking about it is less taboo than it used to be, many mujeres would rather you didn’t come at them with all your stupid comments, especially when we have one of those tinny headaches, the kind that makes the sound of your voice set our teeth on edge.

Mi mamá never talked about being on her period.

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“Mi mamá never talked about her period. We never even knew she had one.” Well, Vato, your mamá grew up in a different time, and do you really want to compare your bae to your mom today, during this time of the month, or ever? Not only is it bad form, but it’s also downright Freudian. And ese Freud, he was a pendejo too.

Why are you taking your bag to the bathroom?

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At school, the last thing a young woman wants to hear, when she’s sure she’s about to have a tampon malfunction, is a teacher questioning her attempt at discretion:

Well, señor, if I don’t bring my mochila, the whole class is going to know I’m on my period, and I’m still a teenager, and I haven’t learned to not feel insecure about all these new things I’m learning about my body, things I’ve have learned to feel shame about, so thanks for putting me on blast. And while we’re asking questions, how long have you been teaching?

What are you on the rag?

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We also don’t want to be catcalled and then insulted for by some rando on the street for ignoring his bad manners: “What are you on the fucking rag?

As a matter of fact, cabron, I am on the rag? Do you want to see what that looks like right now? Is that really what you want?

Do you really have to soak your bloody underwear in a bucket in the tub?

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Why, yes, I do have to soak my bloody underwear in the tub. Would you rather I do it in the kitchen sink or in a pot on the stove? Mujeres, we all know that the best blast of cold water comes out of the bathtub nozzle, amiright?

Why is there blood on the toilet seat?

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Guys piss on toilet seats everywhere they go, everyday, and we get this mierda when we, one time, accidentally leave a drop of blood on the seat. Felicititaciónes, now you get to clean up after me, and preferably quietly, as I have done 99 out of 100 hundred times I had to clean up after you in the bathroom.

You want me to go to the store and buy what?

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There are just some days when we can’t get out of bed between the pain and flood. There are just some days we’re going to need your help, so if you ever want to see me again, you’ll get on down to the market and find the feminine hygiene aisle. A qué esperas? Apuraté!

You must still be on your period.

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Why is this the go-to comment when women aren’t acting like men think we should act, or when we don’t act the way they want us to, when we have feelings, moods, or opinions?

You’re still hungry?

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We don’t like feeling like bottomless pits who can’t seem to feel satisfied no matter what we eat either. None of this means that you should comment on it. And eating what we happen to be craving, often sugar, carbs, and salt just makes us feel worse.

Are you sure you’re not pregnant? You look like you’re pregnant.

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If I’m not pregnant, I’m miscarrying your seed. Should I go on, do you really want me to go on, or do you want to shut up right now?

Why are you crying? This movie isn’t even that sad.

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And questions like this one are why not having a mother who talked about her period is a problem. If our crying makes you uncomfortable, just pretend you don’t notice. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Are you sure your period is totally over?

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Fortunately, people are becoming less afraid of period sex and it can actually be therapeutic, but try telling that to some tipos who could easily do these things: put a towel down, use a condom, try some creative positions, take a shower afterward, masturbate instead.

Sorry, Babe, I ate all the brownies.

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WTF? Who raised you so wrong that you ate the last anything without offering to share it. And let us give you a word of advice: calendar. Use a one. Mark the possible days your bae will likely be on her period, and don’t forget to include the PMS days. Now, prepare to do some shopping in advance. Yes, planning for the monthly period takes half the month! Stock up on chocolate, ice cream, all her faves — you call yourself a feminist, orale!

It doesn’t hurt that bad, does it?

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When it comes to los cólicos, the period cramps, there are all sorts of things we don’t want to hear. Things like, it doesn’t hurt that bad does it? Since pain tolerance varies for all people, this is also just a very stupid thing to say to anyone.

I never get period cramps.

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Well, aren’t you one of the lucky ones. If you’re a good friend you won’t be so insensitive as mention how fortunate you are that you don’t get cramps while your amiga suffers at home in her nightie, unable to get out of bed to make herself lunch.

So what does it feel like?

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It seems like some men ask this question because they don’t believe that cramps can be as bad as we say they are. And they seem to always ask just at the wrong time.

Exercise makes the cramps go away, doesn’t it?

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Many women have such painful cramps that they can do very little during the first day or two of their regla, and it’s often not just cramps, but all-over body pain, nausea, and blaring headaches. While exercise can help for many women, for those who experience such intense period symptoms, it may not help at all, and during those first days, there may be no product that would make it comfortable to exercise in without staining our clothes, which we’re going to do anyway laying in bed. So do your bae, your amiga, your hermana, your hija, or your mamà a favor, go to the store, get her what she needs, keep her company when she wants watch her favorite movie, or get the hell out of her face when she just wants to be alone.

When your period is over can you …

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Can I what? Wash the sheets? Brush my hair? Start cooking again? Go out of the house? Watch what you want to watch on Netflix for the rest of the month? Dame fuerza, Virgen, dame fuerza.

Saying the Right Thing

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And in case you want to make things right, here are a couple of things you could say during her regla.

Be more like this dog.

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For most women, periods are just a fact of life. They can be a major inconvenience. A simple “I hope your feel better soon,” can go a long way.

Since it your woman time, here’s some chocolate.

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We’ll forgive these dudes for not being able to write the word period because this is a super sweet gesture, and they know how to use apostrophes!

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Women Are Savagely Knocking Gender Joke Norms Including The Outdated ‘She Must Be On Her Period’

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Women Are Savagely Knocking Gender Joke Norms Including The Outdated ‘She Must Be On Her Period’

It’s been said before that humor that mocks normative values can be funny only “if the humor is non-threatening.”

Truth be told, however, most of us known when sexist humor is more harmful than it is funny. According to Research Gate “jokes targeting women were perceived to be less funny, more offensive, and more sexist than jokes targeting men. Additionally, greater perceptions of threat were related to greater perceptions of jokes as offensive and sexist. However, women were not more threatened than men by sexist jokes. While these findings were not entirely consistent with our hypotheses, our findings suggest disparagement humor targeting lower-status groups is perceived more negatively than disparagement humor targeting higher-status groups and these perceptions may be inextricably rooted in threat posed to lower-status groups.”

Women and men of Reddit seem to be able to understand this truth because recently, they’ve been taking these jokes and calling them out for what they are: ridiculous and not so funny.

Check it out below!

“Downplaying how horrible periods can be. I’ve seen so many men act like women are being babies on their period and it’s just enraging.”- OverallDisaster

“To couple with this: downplaying our emotions because of periods. Anger or sadness can’t possibly be because of a bad situation, it it must be because sHe’S oN HeR pErIoD.”- InnocenceMySister

“Literally. And it’s funny because the hormone that increases during a woman’s period that apparently makes them so “emotional” is testosterone.

Edit- My comment has been getting a lot of upvotes so I just want to take this opportunity to tell you all this. I know it can be hard being a woman and things can feel really bleak/tiresome sometimes (especially since it’s 2021 and we haven’t made nearly as much progress as we should have in regards to gender issues) but just remember to keep your head up. Things won’t be like this forever. They have to improve. Hopefully.”- aetnaaa

“That time of the month when we act like a man.”- paisleyterror

“I have pcos which also causes painful periods. Before I knew I had it, I never understood how other women could just “get used to” having periods. Lots of women also downplay how bad periods can be because they don’t know how painful some of our periods really are.”- tropicalparadise27

“Oh man and the first time a cyst ruptures… you’re laying on the bathroom floor thinking this is the end ans now you die and why didn’t I clean the bathroom more since this is where my body will be found.”- TaysteePotayto

“Same thing happened to me dude. I was in college, my roomate thought I was dying and I was like naw, don’t you also vomit till the point of fainting crying because of the knives in your intestines on your period? Not normal I guess.”- porkbunasaurus

“Or when women with easier periods act like other women are lying! I’m very lucky and have never had a difficult period, it’s light with very few symptoms. But that doesn’t mean that I doubt other women when they share their experiences. Just because mine is generally okay doesn’t mean that others don’t have excruciating pain.”- shadesofpink44

“Everyone has different experiences so I can only share mine. I get PMS about a week before I start and I start to get irrationally irritated or sad. Sometimes my boobs hurt or I can’t go to the bathroom for several days. I actually get super hungry the few days before too. Then when I start my period I have horrible cramps in my pelvic region and lower stomach. Sometimes they’re so bad they take my breath away. Sometimes they wake me up in the middle of the night and they’re so bad I could cry. I also have (TMI) really bad digestive issues and constantly have to go to the bathroom. I also get migraines with mine + sometimes that causes nausea. Not to mention the fact it’s uncomfortable having to wear a pad or tampon which can cause irritation. For me the first two days of mine are super heavy so I’m bleeding a lot, and the more you bleed the worse your cramps are. Its bad when you start bleeding a lot and you stand up and it all just gushes out. It’s just honestly horrible for me, especially the first two days but then mine kind of tapers off and gets better, but mine used to last up to a week. I can’t say I block it out as I’m very aware of the pain but I try to take pain medication, wear comfy clothes, use a heating pad if necessary. Sorry this might all be TMI lol, but there’s just so much going on and I think it’s good to build awareness about it!

As far as tips the biggest thing is just to be understanding and patient, never diminishing someone’s experience or pain. I also like when guys don’t act grossed out by it, to me it’s a sign of maturity when a man is able to listen and have an open conversation about it.”- OverallDisaster

Indeed, I think that as a society we’re starting to grapple with the fact that pedophilia is far more common than people assumed. I remember that I was started to be catcalled at 11 and my teens and early 20’s were the highest, and now in my 40’s never happens and is awesome. Men know they’re sexually harassing children, and get away with it because people turn a blind eye, blame the kid, or chose the believe the obvious lie of: I had no idea she’s 12, she looks like a woman, I couldn’t tell her age, like wtf?!

ETA: They knew she’s 12, that’s why they catcalled her.”- dystopianpirate

“Yeah, it’s absolutely insane. I remember getting catcalled (very aggressively) as a 7th grader by grown ass men. I always thought it was because I looked older until I recently saw a picture of 12 year old me. Nope, looked like a child. I was utterly shocked, sad and disgusted at the same time.”-Shaboinker2

“This, just today I was catcalled and basically harassed to the point where I had to step back inside my house. I was simply standing in the front yard with my kids. That’s all I was doing.”- HumanAdhesiveness360

“That’s not it except for especially shitty guys.

It’s more likely that the men in question have had little to no experience with women and thus don’t have enough samples to distinguish between friendliness and flirting.

Plus, a shy woman’s flirting might be less obvious than an outgoing woman’s friendliness, so if they had a shy girlfriend before their calibration could be skewed.

Or they could just be interested and made a move in the hopes of success without assuming anything. Men have to approach frequently to get dates, so asking out literally anyone you find attractive is a fairly common strategy.

Men aren’t a monolith any more than women are and there are loads of explanations that don’t require the guy to be an asshole. Most of the time, the dude’s probably just lonely.”- Odinh153

“The way the medical community approaches female reproductive health in general is awful. A close friend wants to get sterilized because she already has two kids, gets awful depression during pregnancy, and post partum depression that makes her suicidal. She’s happy with her family and out of genuine concern for her daughters, wants to be sterilized so she can be the best mum possible to them. Basically no long-acting contraceptive methods are suitable for her… IUDs either cause persistent bleeding or keep dropping out, implants cause awful bleeding for months etc etc…

But my partner called up a vasectomy clinic, booked an appointment on the phone, and it was done in under a week. No questions asked, no “what if you change your mind”… my friend’s life is genuinely at risk if she gets pregnant again, and it would leave two kids without a mother, but years of trying can’t get her what a man can have for asking once.”- kellerae

“It is infuriating how women are treated during childbirth. Actually abused in other countries.

Also, what I hate is that women always say, well “it hurt but it’s okay”; usually when their tear or episiotomy is stitched up with either no local anesthetic or an insufficient amount. No, it is not okay! Would a man have a vasectomy without anesthetic?

Really annoying how we are expected to grin and bear it.”- Suse-

“I just went to the GP to get an extension for my time off work after having ovarian cyst removed. The male gp said to me “I used to be really stingy about giving time off work to my patients until I got a really bad chest infection myself” I was a bit taken aback in his comparison of a bad cold to my abdominal surgery.”- camelsdonthavetoes

“inappropriate behavior from men, especially from a young age. If a boy hits a little girl he “just likes her”. That little boy grows up thinking there’s no repercussion for violence, and keeps hitting women. The cycle just goes on.”-professional_joe

“I know way too many women who think it’s normal to have to do most of the housework and childcare, plus the mental and emotional load of household management, even if they also have an outside job. Also to manage their husbands as if they are children who can’t be expected to remember to make appointments or buy their own clothes or things for the children or holidays or take care of menial tasks without reminders and help.”-FranzLuciferdinand

“My mum managed my dad a lot when I was a kid, but he has genuine problems remembering things, and fortunately I internalized it as ‘Dad can’t remember things so Mom keeps track for him’, instead of believing that all wives manage their husband’s schedule and that’s the natural way of things. He did his fair share around the house and also in our housing co-op. Now that I’m older it makes me sad to know that my parents’ fairly equal arrangement is not the norm.”- ohdearsweetlord

”dressing little girls in a way that makes it difficult for them to move around. your four year old should not miss out on valuable play because she doesn’t want to mess up her clothes or hair. her appearance should be the last freaking thing on her mind. it makes me so angry to see little girls having to sit on the sidelines while their brothers and male cousins play rambunctiously because their parents put them in a dress and expensive shoes. i hate the bullshit propaganda that little girls “naturally” prefer playing quietly indoors and/or alone. sure, it may be true for some little girls (just like it’s also true for some little boys), but you cannot tell me that socialisation doesn’t play a massive role in what kind of play children “naturally” prefer.”-parezcounapina

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Chingona 105-Year-Old Abuela Says She Survived Spanish Flu, 3 Husbands, And COVID-19 By Eating Gin-Soaked Raisins

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Chingona 105-Year-Old Abuela Says She Survived Spanish Flu, 3 Husbands, And COVID-19 By Eating Gin-Soaked Raisins

For Lucia DeClerck, nine gin-soaked raisins have kept doctors and pandemics away. The grandmother of 11 great-great-grandchildren celebrated her 105th birthday on January 25 in Mystic Meadows Rehab and Nursing Center in Little Egg Harbor, New Jersey.

That same day she was diagnosed with Covid-19.

Staff members at her nursing center say DeClerck was pretty much asymptomatic and was in the facility’s COVID-19 unit for 14 days.

Now a COVID-19 survivor, DeClerck is the oldest person at her nursing home, according to The New York Times, and has survived two pandemics. DeClerck was born in 1916 in Hawaii to parents who came from Guatemala and Spain. She was two years old and living in Hawaii when the Spanish flu broke out. Since that time, she has survived two world wars, survived three husbands, and one out of her three sons. 

“She’s just been open with everything in life and I think that has really helped her because she hasn’t hesitated to do whatever she’s wanted to do,” DeClerck’s son, Henry Laws III, told CBS Philly in an interview.

Speaking about her secret to longevity, DeClerck says it takes equal parts belief and diet.

“Pray, pray, pray. And don’t eat junk food,” she told the New York Times before going on to explain that the nine gin-soaked golden raisins she eats every morning might have helped in her survival.

According to DeClerck she has eaten the special recipe every morning for most of her life.

“Fill a jar,” she explained giving NYT her recipe. “Nine raisins a day after it sits for nine days.” The New York Times describes her diet as being a part of a ritual that her children and grandchildren chalk up to being just one in the entirety of “endearing lifelong habits, like drinking aloe juice straight from the container and brushing her teeth with baking soda. (That worked, too: She did not have a cavity until she was 99, relatives said.)”

“She is just the epitome of perseverance,” DeClerck’s 53-year-old granddaughter, Shawn Laws O’Neil explained. “Her mind is so sharp. She will remember things when I was a kid that I don’t even remember.”

Ms. DeClerck, tested positive for the virus on her 105th birthday, just one day after she had gotten her second dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine.

“At first, she said she was scared. She did not like being isolated, and she missed the daily chatter from the parade of caregivers at Mystic Meadows Rehabilitation and Nursing, a 120-bed facility in Little Egg Harbor,” reports the New York Times. “Within two weeks she was back in her room, holding her rosary beads and wearing her trademark sunglasses and knit hat.”

According to O’Neil, DeClerck has a new nickname amongst her two surviving sons, five grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren, and 11 great-great-grandchildren: “The 105-year-old badass who kicked Covid.”

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