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20 Sexy Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Make Your Relationship Stronger

When it comes to you and your boyfriend, you guys are tight. But there is always room for being a closer couple and, often, that comes with open communication and developing greater intimacy. Part of that intimacy is always learning new things about each other and, in particular, learning things that nobody else knows about you. That’s where these questions come in.

If you want to build your bond with your sweetie pie, then you should ask him these 20 sexy questions. From learning what his favorite part of your body is to learn his most daring fantasy, these questions are sure to help you get closer together… And they might even make for some hot-and-heavy nights, too.

1. What’s your favorite part of my body?

kimbellym/Instagram

This is a good first question to start with because it’s likely that he has already thought about this plenty (or at least we hope so!). It can really open up the communication channels and add something sexy to the conversation. Perhaps, next, you can ask for him to massage that part of your body? And see where the massage leads…

2. How often do you touch yourself in a week? What’s on your mind during solo time?

itsbeephotoz/Instagram

This is the kind of question that might make the conversation really awkward at first but you can start out by admitting that you, too, have your own solo sessions. Talk about what he likes to think about (or if he watches anything) when he masturbates and, perhaps, how you can help next time.

3. Has anyone ever caught you naked before?

myqueenofsexfans

This is a fun and sexy question that you can both answer, but definitely first start with him. It will likely lead to a fun or embarrassing story that now, years later, he likely is laughing about. Maybe, perhaps, you can talk about his general nakedness after.

4. Have you ever “sexted” someone?

luhpaulus/Instagram

Hopefully, at this point in your relationship, you have already sexted with your sweetie. If you haven’t, then what are you waiting for? Either way, it would be fun to hear about his previous “sexting” experience and what he learned. Perhaps he can even demonstrate, for you, how he likes it.

5. What turns you on almost instantly? 

juniorcrazy13

This is definitely a fun question to know about your partner. You probably already know a lot of the things that turn him on on a regular basis, but what about the things that he really, truly can’t resist? You’ll definitely want to know what has an instant effect on his libido for the next time you, ahem, want to use that information.

6. What celebrity do you think would be the best in bed?

myqueenofsexfans/Instagram

It’s always fun to talk about your celebrity crushes with your bae, but this question is a bit more specific. It’s definitely something that you can discuss together but it would first be really interesting to hear your boyfriend’s thoughts that don’t necessarily include who the “hottest” celeb is but who would actually be the best in bed, which are two very different things.

7. Do you like it when girls wear lingerie?

zeealwaysuncovered/Instagram

According to our culture, guys LOVE girls in lingerie. But that’s not necessarily true if you’ve ever had a conversation with a straight male friend. Beyond that, your bae might like a different type of lingerie. Having this conversation can definitely open up some new, sexy channels for you to explore in the future.

8. Have you ever bragged to your friends about me?

xitlalyocampo/Instagram

This can be a sweet question that leads to some fun exchanges. It’s always a confidence-booster to hear about your boyfriend bragging about you and, especially, if you ask him what are the kind of things he bragged about. It’s a great conversation starter for the things you appreciate about each other.

9. Have you ever had a sexy dream about me?

goanskaya_jenshina/Instagram

One of the best parts about talking about your sexy dreams with your sweetie is that you can recreate those dreams in real-life. A lot of fantasies can open up and desires are expressed when you talk to your boyfriend about the sexy dreams he’s had about you… And don’t be afraid to share yours with him, too.

10. How long do you think you could go without sex?

arts_in_foco/Instagram

This is an interesting question that can spark some anxiety at first but can actually reveal more about your honey than you might initially think. You can go into how long each you has actually gone without sex and if you felt any repercussions because of it. Plus, don’t forget to ask this question in general but also with “in a relationship” attached, too.

11. Do you like getting lap dances?

Not every guy likes getting lap dances or going to strip clubs, even if our culture sometimes makes it seem like that’s the first thing they do whenever on a business trip and away from their wives or girlfriends. But your sweetie might, so it’s good to know. Plus, by asking if he likes lap dances, you have the chance to give him one yourself for the next special occasion.

12. Where is the strangest place you’ve ever had sex?

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This is definitely a conversation that must be had in every relationship. Not only is it something that sparks fun and creativity but it’s also good to know where your partner has been in the past. You don’t have to reveal too many details if it makes you uncomfortable but it’s also fun to laugh over the strange things we’ve done in our past.

13. If I allowed you to do anything to me, what would you do?

stellamirchi.sex.ideas/Instagram

Now THIS is a question that you probably want to ask during a particularly intimate moment. The thing about a question like this is that it can open up a lot of avenues of conversation and make things really good or really awkward. The main thing you’ll want to remember when asking this, though, is to not judge your partner for what they say and simply let them express themselves.

14. What’s your favorite part of sex?

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Sure, everyone might say that the orgasm is their favorite part but that’s not necessarily true. A lot of people love the lead-up, some like the kissing and others still like something else entirely. The best way to find out what your partner likes is by asking, of course, so ask away.

15. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

claire_hebert.photos/Instagram

People often talk about a woman’s virginity, so why not turn that conversation around by asking your boyfriend when he lost his? He might have a sweet story from having sex for the first time with his high school girlfriend or a lewd story that involves his time in college. Either way, listen without judgment… and maybe laugh along, if appropriate.

16. Would you ever watch porn with a girl?

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A lot of men hate admitting that they watch porn and, even worse, would never watch porn with their partners. That’s okay but it can also be quite an intimate act to watch porn with your boyfriend. So, in order to nudge him along, ask about his porn habits and whether this is something he would actually consider doing someday.

17. Have you ever kissed me in public just to make someone jealous?

myroadtea/Instagram

This is another fun question similar to him bragging about you but this one has more to do with PDA and jealousy. It might be fun to hear about the times that he has tried to or wanted to make others jealous, too, and who specifically those others were. An ex-girlfriend? A frenemy? A buddy he competes with?

18. How do you feel about toys in the bedroom?

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Although many women these days are comfortable with toys in the bedroom, it’s definitely still a somewhat taboo subject in couples. Why? Because men often don’t need toys in their solo time (unlike women) so they don’t know how to deal with it. Ask about how he feels about toys and begin the conversation of whether there are any you could experiment with together.

19. What’s the dirtiest thing you have ever done?

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Similar to the question about the strangest place he’s had sex but not quite like that. The dirtiest thing he has ever done might be a very different answer and definitely one that you want to hear. Don’t be afraid to share your own answer to this question too, and that might lead to another part of a fun conversation.

20. What is a fantasy you’ve never shared with anyone?

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You’ll want to ask this final question when you are having an intimate moment, preferably in bed. It can be difficult to share something like this with your partner for both men and women, so make sure that you are in a safe and comfortable place when you ask about his ultimate fantasy. And then, just listen…


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Major Investigation Reveals That Most Popular Dating Apps Aren’t Keeping Users Safe From Sex Offenders

Things That Matter

Major Investigation Reveals That Most Popular Dating Apps Aren’t Keeping Users Safe From Sex Offenders

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A 16-month investigation conducted by Columbia Journalism Investigations found that the Match Group which owns 45 popular dating apps like Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and OK Cupid does not screen for sexual offenders. Match Group does audit users for sex crimes on their namesake property Match.com, but admits that on its free platforms it expects users to police themselves. 

The CJI report found that the policy leaves users vulnerable to sexual assault, and multiple victims have reported rapes because of it. Tinder, the company’s most successful app, has 5.2 million subscribers. Altogether Match Group is worth $1.7 billion in revenue. Many feel the publicly-traded company owes its subscribers more protection. 

Susan Deveau says her Plenty of Fish date raped her. 

When 54-year-old Deveau met Mark Papamechail on Plenty of Fish in 2016, she had no way of knowing he was a three-time convicted rapist. In Massachusetts, he was listed as a dangerous registered sex offender. After going on several dates, Deveau reported to the police that Papamechail raped her. She was the second woman to report Papamechail for rape after meeting him on a dating app. 

According to the app’s terms of use subscribers must “promise” they haven’t committed a felony, sex crime, or violent crime by agreeing to it. Thus the only method of screening is an honor system that assumes any user would actually read through the lengthy agreement. The company does not try to verify or screen for whether users are being honest or not. 

There’s a reason why Match.com screens for registered sex offenders.

Before Match Group bought up its competitors and became publicly traded, it agreed to screen for sex crimes on its flagship property Match.com. When the company expanded it didn’t extend this policy to its catalog of 45 apps. Match.com only agreed to check its users against the government’s sex offender registries after a public complaint from Carole Markin in 2011.

Markin says she was raped by a man she met on the platform on their second date. Afterward, she discovered he was convicted of rape six times. Markin was able to make her lawsuit public having been an entertainment executive herself. Under pressure, Match.com’s lawyers revealed they had begun implementing the screening process that utilized the government registries. Eventually, Markin settled.

A Match Group spokesperson told CJI that the free platforms don’t collect enough data to create a uniform screening policy. 

“There are definitely registered sex offenders on our free products,” the spokesperson said

CJI found at least 157 incidents of sexual assault across dating apps. 

Most of the assaults happened within the last 5 years. Almost all of the victims were women who met their attackers on a Match Group dating app. 

“In 10% of the incidents, dating platforms matched their users with someone who had been accused or convicted of sexual assault at least once, the analysis found. Only a fraction of these cases involved a registered sex offender,” according to the investigation. 

However, what was most notable was that Match.com, which does have a screening policy, had no assault cases. Match Group’s spokesperson said that tens of millions of people use their platform, therefore 157 cases aren’t enough to warrant an overhaul. 

 “[Match Group] takes the safety, security, and well-being of our users very seriously,” the company said in a statement. “A relatively small amount of the tens of millions of people using one of our dating services have fallen victim to criminal activity by predators. We believe any incident of misconduct or criminal behavior is one too many.”

Some employees told CJI they don’t think the company goes far enough to protect users.

According to the investigation, many who worked at Match Group feel the company doesn’t equip or train them to deal with sexual assault complaints. Some said the process also fails to prevent more harm even after an incident has been reported because banned users can easily make new accounts.

“The problem has grown as the popularity of online dating has soared — in 2015, 12% of American adults were on a dating site, compared with 3% in 2008,” according to the report. “In 2016, the UK National Crime Agency reviewed police reports over a five-year period and found online-dating sexual assault had increased as much as 450% — from 33 to 184 cases.” 

CJI surveyed 1,200 women who used a dating app with the last 15 years. A third of the women surveyed said one of their dates sexually assaulted them, half of these women said it was rape. Match Group refused to comment on the questionnaire. 

Only five states have regulations to protect online daters, but those measures largely exist to prevent scams. With little pressure for the industry to change and as more victims come forward the future of online dating remains uncertain.

Harvard’s Only Latina Professor Was Denied Tenure, Sparking Student Protests and a Larger Conversation About Institutional Racism

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Harvard’s Only Latina Professor Was Denied Tenure, Sparking Student Protests and a Larger Conversation About Institutional Racism

@DivestHarvard / Twiter

Harvard has long been regarded as one of the most prestigious academic institutions in the US, if not the world. The Ivy League University has 36,012 students and 2,400 faculty members from over 150 countries. But although Harvard often boasts of the efforts they make to diversify their students, their faculty, and their curriculum, their track record has been less than stellar. That has been no clearer than in the recent turmoil surrounding the denial of their only Latina Professor, Lorgia García Peña. 

Once students learned of the University President’s decision to deny Garcia tenure, they were dismayed. Garcia’s tenure had been watched closely by the student body throughout the year, some going so far as to conduct a letter-writing campaign on her behalf earlier in the year. Once the initial disappointment at the decision faded, some students felt the need to take action. 

On Monday, roughly 50 students took to Harvard’s University Hall to protest Professor García’s tenure denial.

Although there is a Non-Discrimination and Affirmative Action clause in Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences Appointment Handbook, students believe that the decision to deny García tenure “exemplifies bias in the review process against professors of Ethnic Studies, whose scholarship and mentorship often put them in tension with Harvard’s administration”. 

In light of the upsetting denial of Garcia as a tenured professor, students drafted a petition with a list of demands aimed at the administration. The petition demands that the administration provides students with an explanation as to why Garcia’s tenure was denied. Students also demand a formal investigation into the alleged reasoning behind the tenure denial, with a specific focus on possible unconscious or structrual bias. Last but not least, the students demand the formal establishment of an Ethnic Studies Division–a request that the student body has been pursuing since 1972. 

For college professors, securing tenure is widely thought of as the most important accomplishment in their academic career.

According to The American Association of University Professors, becoming a tenured professor means that you “can be terminated only for cause or under extraordinary circumstances”. In other words, it is a professor’s permanent job contract, which grants them greater academic freedom and protects them from being arbitrary fired. Usually, a professor is granted tenure after a probationary period of six years after which they’ve established themselves as valuable to the institution they’re working for. Usually during this time, they’re expected to publish academic research and findings to prove their value.

According to Professor Robert Anderson of Pepperdine University, tenure means that professors “are the most secure” in the unpredictable game of university politics. “[Tenured professors] are more like debt holders. If anyone bears the risk, it’s the staff who get tossed in the trash to save faculty”.

The uproar over Garcia’s tenure denial represents the larger struggle that many Latinx academics face when trying to establish themselves in higher education. 

As Latina Harvard student Mercedes Gomez tweeted on Monday, “Harvard flaunts its diversity and its admission numbers, but refuses to do the work to cultivate an environment for its students of color to feel safe and represented”. This statement rings true

As for the broader Latino community, they have not stayed silent on social media when commenting on Harvard’s questionable decision.

The fact itself that Professor Garcia is the only Latina on the faculty on the tenure track is room enough for skepticism. 

Harvard student Mercedes Gomez is especially invested in justice for Professor Garcia. 

https://twitter.com/gomezsb_/status/1201607299741212672?s=20

Let’s hope that the students’ activism spurs Harvard to re-think their decision.

This Latina academic has some chilling stories to tell about the way POC academics are structurally oppressed by academic institutions:

https://twitter.com/yarimarbonilla/status/1201689622583160832?s=20

The evidence seems to be piling up that these professors are denied tenure because their ideas don’t align with the institution’s bottom line. 

This Latina made a valid observation about how boringly predictable these tenure outcomes for WOC have become.

https://twitter.com/allisonefagan/status/1201864198403305472?s=20

The problem with institutional racism is that it’s so insidious–it’s often hard to see when it’s in front of you. And it’s even harder to call out.

This Latina is angry simply at the denial because of Garcia’s stellar resume. 

https://twitter.com/marisollebron/status/1201597626233315329?s=20

It’s frustrating to see that Ivy League institutions recruit off their claims of radical inclusivity, but their administrations don’t follow through when it comes to changing the structures of their institutions. 

The reason for Garcia’s tenure denial should be made public and then investigated. Because if this isn’t evidence of institutional racism, we don’t know what is.