comedy

You Thought St. Patrick’s Day Was Lit Wait Until Puerto Ricans Get Their Hands On It

RayLopez/ WilliamMurphy/ Flikr

Held every second Sunday in June, the Annual Puerto Rican Day parade has more attendees than any other parade in New York City. At last count, about 800,000 march and about 3 million attend. With the St. Patrick’s Day Parade coming up, celebrating Irish culture, I pondered how they could boost attendance (about 150,000) by trying some PR Parade tactics. Here are the 9 ways the St. Patrick’s Day Parade could be more lit based on the teachings of the PR Day Parade.

1. Boricuas spend the majority of the parade dancing. The Irish have Riverdancing, which is dope. It’s literally all legs.  Why not throw some dembow on it?

Credit: andrewsantiagoNoceanida / Kendall de la rosa/ Youtube

Just like every chamaco at the parade, trying to look fly for the ladies.

2. Obviously, Puerto Ricans are known for salsa music, but we love merengue, too. Bagpipes sound like horns. Let’s dance! ¡Eso es!

Credit: andrewsantiago/ nana443/ angietrauma / Youtube

Who knew bagpipes were fuego?

3. Nene, we put flags on everything at the PR Day Parade. If you don’t have at least four on you at all times, you get kicked out. Especially if you’re marching.

Credit: FreeGreatPicture

I don’t care if you look like a peacock, if you’re not representing, you shouldn’t be at the parade, fam.

4. Puerto Ricans have been breaking since Rock Steady Crew with Richard “Crazy Legs” Colón. What if there were a Sham-Rock Steady Crew? Just saying…

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If you can keep your jibaro hat on while doing a head spin, you win a pot of gold Air Jordans.

5. There’s one unavoidable sight at the PR Day Parade: old men in fishnet PR shirts. I say we bestow this burden upon the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

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Credit: TShirtPix

Might be cold for March, but if we have to look at old men trying to pull these off, everyone should have to, too.

6. Every kid is “Super-Boricua” at the parade. Let’s get that heroic energy popping on St. Patrick’s Day.

Credit: Flikr

When your facepaint and flag are on point, no one will have to guess your true superhero identity.

7. Based on what I know, Jameson and Guinness are the preferred drinks, but how about some Bacardi from La Isla del Encanto?

Bacardi-Girl
Credit: Wikimedia

You never had a rum and coke so good. TBH they already look lit and the cap is still on.

8. Hot rods and old school cars are classic PR Parade. Make sure they’ve got plenty “Gasolina.”

Credit: andrewsantiagolena4ka81/ Movieclips/ Youtube

I wouldn’t encourage drag-racing, but hey, when you gotta move, you gotta.

9. Our biggest Boricua stars ride floats at the parade, I couldn’t think of any famous Irish celebs, so I thought we’d lend you two of ours.

Ricky-LinManuel

Tell me they don’t make the most dynamic Leprechaun duo?

READ: She Wasn’t About Spend 4 Months Eating Canned Food, So This Boricua Figured Out How To Make Puerto Rican Food On Mars

Tag someone who turns all the way up for the PR or St. Patty’s parade! Remember to share with the links below!

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Latinos On The Internet Are Poking Fun At What It Means To Be A Mature Adult

comedy

Latinos On The Internet Are Poking Fun At What It Means To Be A Mature Adult

As you grow older, there are a few things here and there that start to change, and all of a sudden you feel like you’re no longer a little kid — you’re an adult. A grown, mature and wise adult. Well, at least you think you’re an adult.

Check out what these people on Twitter had to say in response to the hashtag #SabesQueMadurasteCuando, which means: “You know you’ve matured when…”

Some may sound silly, but they’re totally relatable.

If there’s one thing that determines how mature you are, it’s the level of involvement your mom has when it comes to your doctor appointments.


If you’re the one that responds when the doctor asks questions, instead of letting your mom respond, then you’re ~pretty~ mature. Now if you schedule your OWN doctor appointments, then it’s official — you are GROWN.

And if you’re responsible enough to go inside the doctor’s office by yourself, then you can handle anything.

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CREDIT: MEG-PRYOR / TUMBLR

…like owning a copy of keys to your own house.

Which is why your parents start to give you more serious responsibilities.


You know, things such as being in charge of holding the rope for the piñata, rather than waiting in line to hit the piñata like all of the younger kids.

And the closer you get to becoming an adult, the more you start to change as a person.

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CREDIT: HUFINGTON POST

All of a sudden, after the piñata breaks, you no longer have the urge to throw yourself onto the floor to try to get as many candies possible.

Things that used to scare you as a kid, don’t scare you anymore.


You can finally turn the lights off in a room and walk out calmly instead of running out because you’re scared of the dark and think a monster is going to get you.

And things that you used to love, all of a sudden seem silly and a waste of time.


Now you don’t spend your time doodling the name of your crush all over your notebooks.

Truth is, the older you get, the more you realize that you have zero time to waste.


Instead of wasting your time time on boys and trying to find love, you’d rather spend your time hustling and making money.

You also start to realize that your circle of real friends is a lot smaller than it seems.

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CREDIT: SNL

Which is why you end up deleting over 240 “friends” from your social media accounts.

And as much as you love your small circle of friends, once you’re an adult, you’d much rather sleep than go out to party with them.


And when you’re out at the bar or club, all you can think about is your precious, comfortable, soft bed.

…because going out to party, or even worse, hosting a party, is just too much of a hassle.?


Instead of thinking about how much fun a party will be, you start to think about all of the mess you will have to clean up the day after.

Some of the things that you used to enjoy, start to actually become more of a burden.

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CREDIT: DEMI LOVATO / GIPHY

Yeah, being absent in elementary school was fun and easy. It’s also fun and easy in college but if you miss one day of class in college, you miss three assignments, a pop quiz and a two-hour lecture of notes.

Overall, becoming an adult is all about growing and learning.


You start to admit when you’re wrong and accept the consequences, rather than blame others for your mistakes.

You learn about things in life that you had never realized before…


Like the fact that Super Mario actually breaks all of the bricks using his fist not his head. I know, mind-blowing.

But most importantly, you learn to let go of things that no longer benefit you.


Such as Pokemon. JK, Pokemon is LIFE. ??


READ: When You’re A Grown-Ass Adult But Still Need Your Parents


How do you know you’re starting to grow up? Comment and hit the share button below!