You Thought St. Patrick’s Day Was Lit Wait Until Puerto Ricans Get Their Hands On It
Held every second Sunday in June, the Annual Puerto Rican Day parade has more attendees than any other parade in New York City. At last count, about 800,000 march and about 3 million attend. With the St. Patrick’s Day Parade coming up, celebrating Irish culture, I pondered how they could boost attendance (about 150,000) by trying some PR Parade tactics. Here are the 9 ways the St. Patrick’s Day Parade could be more lit based on the teachings of the PR Day Parade.
1. Boricuas spend the majority of the parade dancing. The Irish have Riverdancing, which is dope. It’s literally all legs. Why not throw some dembow on it?
Credit: andrewsantiago/ Noceanida / Kendall de la rosa/ Youtube
Just like every chamaco at the parade, trying to look fly for the ladies.
2. Obviously, Puerto Ricans are known for salsa music, but we love merengue, too. Bagpipes sound like horns. Let’s dance! ¡Eso es!
Credit: andrewsantiago/ nana443/ angietrauma / Youtube
Who knew bagpipes were fuego?
3. Nene, we put flags on everything at the PR Day Parade. If you don’t have at least four on you at all times, you get kicked out. Especially if you’re marching.
I don’t care if you look like a peacock, if you’re not representing, you shouldn’t be at the parade, fam.
4. Puerto Ricans have been breaking since Rock Steady Crew with Richard “Crazy Legs” Colón. What if there were a Sham-Rock Steady Crew? Just saying…
If you can keep your jibaro hat on while doing a head spin, you win a pot of gold Air Jordans.
5. There’s one unavoidable sight at the PR Day Parade: old men in fishnet PR shirts. I say we bestow this burden upon the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
Might be cold for March, but if we have to look at old men trying to pull these off, everyone should have to, too.
6. Every kid is “Super-Boricua” at the parade. Let’s get that heroic energy popping on St. Patrick’s Day.
When your facepaint and flag are on point, no one will have to guess your true superhero identity.
7. Based on what I know, Jameson and Guinness are the preferred drinks, but how about some Bacardi from La Isla del Encanto?
You never had a rum and coke so good. TBH they already look lit and the cap is still on.
8. Hot rods and old school cars are classic PR Parade. Make sure they’ve got plenty “Gasolina.”
Credit: andrewsantiago/ lena4ka81/ Movieclips/ Youtube
I wouldn’t encourage drag-racing, but hey, when you gotta move, you gotta.
9. Our biggest Boricua stars ride floats at the parade, I couldn’t think of any famous Irish celebs, so I thought we’d lend you two of ours.
Tell me they don’t make the most dynamic Leprechaun duo?