Your Mexican Salsa & Chip Combo To Your Zodiac Sign
Savory or spicy? A subtle crisp or an obnoxious attention-seeking crunch? There’s a salsa and chip for every personality, which is why we thought we’d go ahead and pick out which one of our favorite brands of Mexican chips and salsas can best be connected to each sign of the Zodiac. Now, which carby delight best describe you in chip form? Apologies if we seem a little salty with these, it’s only because we’re comparing people to convenience store junk food. So, which one are you, my sweet little snacks?
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Chips
An Aries loves a kick as much as they have to be the most interesting person in the room. Since these Sabritones are unlike your usual crunchy chip situation with their puffed out egos – sorry, Aries 😉 – and their commanding fun but spicy flavor, you’ll fight whoever says these chips aren’t the bomb the same way you’d go after anyone who doesn’t respect your authority.
Aries, your attitude toward salsa is that it should be just as hot as your personality. What’s the point of salsa unless it brings a little spice to your life? The most likely place we’d find you using salsa would be while you’re trekking across the Sahara desert. Why? Because you’re one hell of an adventurous babe, that’s why.
Your salsa: One jalapeño salsa is exactly what you need, Aries! The jalapeño peppers are the base of this salsa, which gives it a real distinct taste, and a heat to match yours, Aries.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Chips
Loyal and reliable, Taurus. What’s more you than the chip that’s always $2 because it’s friggin’ printed on the bag? You’re consistent, no matter what grocery store we may find you in, and just like this family-sized bag, you’re always full of hard work. Even if that hard work is eating the entire bag – something we’re not afraid of taking on single-handedly. Sharing? No thanks. Taureans are a one mate type of sign, anyway! This bag is mine!
If you’re a Taurus babe, then you need your salsa to have a solid, complementary kind of taste. Your kind of salsa would provide the backbone to the flavours of your chip of choice. Chances are, we’d see you stuffing your face with salsa while you’re camping. You’re a down-to-earth person, Taurus, but even you like your little luxuries every now and again.
Your salsa: A nice and simple salsa de chile pasilla con tomatillo is an exact match to your sensibilities, Taurus! Think about it: it’s a good mix of dried pasilla chiles, tomatillos, garlic and a pinch of salt.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Chips
Talkative Geminis are also known for their love of food. I guess it’s the only way they can keep their energy up for all that gabbing! More often, they’re known for their particular love of junk food, whether it be sweet or salty, which is why Doritos con Tapatío is very, very Gemini. Two-sided, much like you! Is it a bag of Doritos or a bottle of Tapatío?! When you can’t make up your mind, porque no los dos?
Your salsa: The Mexican red tomato salsa is one versatile salsa, just for you, Gemini! There’s no way you wouldn’t like such a perfect blend of tomatoes, onion, cilantro, chiles and garlic.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Chips
Cancers are all-around good people. Hard-working, nice, and imaginative. The Tostito’s scoops of human beings. You’re consistent with your flavor and universal in your skills, even if those skills mean scooping up all that salsa. Probably a Cancer came up with the idea to turn a tortilla chip into a scoop, anyway. Nice work! You’re also a true friend, and true friends bring the queso with that bag of chips. Mind picking some up on the way over? Thanks!
Cancer, you want your salsa to make you feel something. Your sensitive soul makes food an emotional experience for you, and salsa is no different. Since you’re such a romantic at heart, you’d happily seek out some salsa to complement a romantic dinner, or cheeky snack, for two.
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Chips
Wow, a chip made to taste like a spicy pork dish. Pretty ostentatious. Right, Leo? Kind of just as attention-seeking as you are! The flavor of this chip packs a punch and is a fun new take on the otherwise bland and greasy flavors of Lays chips. Yeah, these aren’t even tortilla chips! Sounds as flaky as you, lion! Umm, kiddiiiiiing. But not really.
A Leo like you needs your salsa to be the centerpiece of each bite. Otherwise, why bother with it? You know that your culinary experiences should have at least a little bit of drama to them. You’re most likely to chase after some salsa when you’re at karaoke.
Your salsa: Leo, a salsa habanera takes the cake for you. There’s no way that the taste of habanero chiles fades into the background while you’re eating it, which is just how you like it!
Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Chips
You’re analytical in your choices to make sure you’re making the best possible one, so obviously you’d go with the chip that has…a mission. Ugh, sorry. Couldn’t help it. At the same time, you’re also shy with your choices, so you’d go with an easy, seemingly dependable option. You’re all work, and these chips mean simple, tortilla chip business with no frills. Congrats, you’re as basic as the most common grocery store chip brand barbecuing dads love!
Virgo babe, you want your salsa to work for you. You know that it has a purpose, and that purpose is to make your chip taste ever so delicious. You’re the type of person to bring salsa along to a very important business meeting. After all, is there really a better way to ingratiate yourself with people you want to impress?
Your salsa: A salsa roja is sure to please you, Virgo! A dip that also goes by the names salsa de mesa and salsa mexicana, this is the kind of salsa you would find in a Mexican restaurant.
Libra (September 23 – October 22) Chips
As a Libra, you’re diplomatic and fair-minded. “Why not include all vegetable flavors?!” you’d ask, weighing them all out on your little chip scales. With that commitment to cooperation, you’re also indecisive, so a bag of mixed flavors is basically the best way to sum you up. I guess thank you for standing up for other vegetables being represented in chip form? You can eat these, we’ll pass.
If you’re a Libra babe, then your kind of salsa is one that has the perfect mix of flavors. There’s no need for your food to have too much of any one thing. Because really, balance is the spice of life! You’re the type of person to chow down on salsa while doing study, listening to the latest of your favourite podcasts, and chatting away to a work colleague. Because multitasking.
Your salsa: A chipotle lime yogurt salsa has the sensory balance you crave, Libra! It’s a spicy, smoky, creamy and sweet mix. The chipotle lime yogurt salsa boasts plain yogurt, smoky chipotle in adobo, tart lime and some sweet, sweet honey. Delicious!
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Chips
Just like Takis Fuegos, Scorpios aren’t for the faint of heart. These chips are for the passionate, the intelligent, the fearless. Don’t even think about offering a scorpion some lame Lay’s. Who the hell do you take them for? No, a Scorpio is someone who ignites the snack flame of your heart and the burn in your butt soon to follow. But remember, you ain’t fancy. You think you’re hot shit, but in reality, we can still find you at any neighborhood 7-Eleven, scorp. Thanks for the wild ride!
As a Scorpio, you want your salsa to be an exquisite journey of sensuality. You know the real secret about food: it’s definitely connected to sex, since it’s about involving all the senses at once. You’re most likely to incorporate salsa as part of your seduction routine. Get creative, Scorpio!
Your salsa: The salsa fresca de tomatillo is right up your alley, Scorpio! This is one delicious mix of tomatillos and serrano chiles, which serves up a a taste that’s as sharp as your sense of humor.
Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21) Chips
Like the beloved baked skin of a pig, you’re generous, well-traveled, and funny, Sag. I mean, who’s idea was it to eat the pigskin? And why does it taste good? Eating the pigskin is like being too lazy to wait to get to the rest of the pig so they were like, screw it! Just eat the first layer you hit! Basically the same as your impatience, Sag. Good thing there’s no such as horse chips or you’d be in trouble. You’re also generous and love to share, just like the folks who eat chicharrones instead of regular chips. They’re a special breed.
Sagittarius, your idea of a good salsa is one that embraces the same zest for life that you have. You want to maximise your fun, and salsa is a part of that! You know that salsa is at its best when it’s accompanied by a party!
Your salsa: The salsa de jitomate asado is a great accompaniment to any party, Sagittarius! The key to this blend of tomatoes, onion, chiles and garlic is the fact that they are grilled together to create one lovely salsa.
Capricorn & Mission Original Tortilla Strips
You’re responsible and disciplined, Capricorn, and just like these bland-ass chips at every grocery store chain, you’re at least consistent in being there and probably being on sale. That being said, who do you think you in that fancy-ass bag pretending like you’re a better chip than you are? You really think you’re the epitome of talent, erm, I mean chip, but just because you work hard to get your ass in every Walmart doesn’t mean you’re the best, honey. You do your job, though. We can’t deny that.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
All you Capricorns out there are real salsa fans! But, the best kind of salsa is one that serves some sort of utility for you, Capricorn. So long as it does what it’s supposed to do, then it’s an all right salsa by your standards. You don’t mind where or when you have salsa, so long as it’s with a good chip!
Your salsa: A traditional salsa de chile cascabel is just what you need, Capricorn! Get in touch with traditional Mexican food with this blend of tomatillos, cascabel peppers and garlic.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Chips
Hey, Aquarius! Um, yeah, you. You’re the undisputed weirdo of the zodiac – the one who’s a little off in all the best ways. You’re spontaneous, quirky, and authentically YOU at all times. So who says you’d be like any old run-of-the-mill tortilla chip? Please. When everyone else tries to push the status quo, you’re already on another planet. That’s why yuca chips are you in a nutshell, err, I mean, a bag. A unique flavor, just like you. You may not be for everybody, but who wants to be liked by everyone? That’s just exhausting.
Aquarius, let it be said now: you’re very specific with your salsa needs. You want your salsa to have ethically-sourced ingredients, preferably be fully vegan, be gluten-free, and not taste like cardboard. And, the quirkier the ingredients, the better! Even though you have a long shopping list for your dream salsa, we’ve managed to find something that will satiate your tastes.
Your salsa: A pico de gallo con xoconostle will suit all of your needs, Aquarius! With a divine raw mix of plum tomatoes, onion, cilantro, serrano Chile, and lime juice, the only thing you’ll need to worry about will be where the ingredients are sourced from. You’re on your own with that one!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Chips
Wow, it’s blue. As in the color of water. Because you’re a fish. Get it? Blue corn chips, just like you, are healthier and therefore wiser. Wow, you’re just SO much more in tune with the world, Pisces. You’re so artistic you deserve a chip as ingenious as you. Don’t get all victimized when people don’t feel like eating your whole bag, though. Not everyone is as deep as you and your subtle taste of sea salt. Isn’t it ironic that this chip also looks like a teardrop? Enjoy the crunch, emotional Pisces.
all images via MexGrocer
Pisces, your dream salsa is one that’s been homemade, with lots of love and care. The best kind of salsa, according to you, has been made by your abuelita, or someone else’s abuelita. And, of course, the best place to eat the salsa is with said abuelita, since you need to regale them with compliments about how great the taste is!
Your salsa: You’d be very happy with the gentle salsa de aguacate con crema, Pisces! This one’s known otherwise as guacamole salsa. Avocado is the star player when it comes to this delicious salsa.
Your salsa: A mango salsa is your zodiac counterpart in salsa form! Considering that you’re the sign of the crab, and this one can be paired with both seafood and snack platters, this is the perfect salsa for you.
So how much of a craving for salsa do you have now? If you like what you’ve read, click the Facebook icon above to see more content like this.