Entertainment

Guacardo Will Tell You How Your Week Will Go Based On Your Sign

As we enter the second week of Mercury retrograde, you may have not only experienced those slight delays and technical issues that come with this mighty planet’s backward spin, but communication and clear decisions can easily become hazy. Remember not to worry about making big choices during this time, and instead choose to ultimately roll with the punches. Advice can come unsolicited, so it’s important that all signs opt to do what’s best for you above anything else. People can become exhausting during times like these, but that doesn’t mean you have to let their words affect you.

Aries

Good or bad, expect a shake-up in your relationship status this week, Aries. That can either mean an exciting new relationship or an abrupt ending to a current one. Mercury retrograde is brewing its drastic changes in your sign, Ram, so don’t be surprised when you don’t even know what hit you. If you’re happy in your current relationship, you and your partner will finally reach some massive clarity about your pairing that will better serve you both. Is that worth sticking it out or calling it off? We’ll see what this week has in store for you!

Taurus

Your theme for November was to take a break from all that bull-like work ethic to open yourself up to love and loving yourself, Taurus, and this last few days of the month will definitely be the peak of that. If you’re feeling trapped in whatever romantic situation you’re currently, prepare for the floodgates to open for a positive release of all that water. Stop holding back about how you truly feel, because once you reveal what’s actually pouring through your soul, the universe is prepared to reward you for it.

Gemini

Some much-needed life enhancements are awaiting you this week, Gemini! The Sun and Jupiter line up in your partnership sector on the 26th, opening the road for clear conversation between you and your partner that will put your mind and your heart at ease. This week is all about the connection between you and your mate as you embark on a brand new and exciting journey together.

Cancer

Is this crab ready to switch up shells, or even the beach where you choose to plant that shell? Exciting new career advancements may bring the opportunity for relocation in exchange for your dream job, but what does this mean for your love life? On Saturday, Venus re-enters your love sector after just finishing it’s retrograde, meaning decisions about what to do with a potential or long-term suitor will become much clearer and easier to make. It also means the opportunity for a brand new one on the horizon!

Leo

You have gotten yourself trapped in a box regarding a life situation recently, but this week you’ll be able to open it. Things will finally become clear on how to tackle something you’ve been trying to get done, and communication between you and your mate will not only be better but so will the roads up that open to make these actions possible. You may revel in the joy that is a stronger connection or realize that your relationship isn’t as strong as you had been telling yourself it was. As is the case when Mercury is in retrograde!

Virgo 

You’ve been working hard to get your finances in order this month and should have started to see the payoff, but this week might find you having to help someone else who’s not in as great of a financial position themselves. This will leave you feeling somewhat resentful for having to help clean up someone else’s mess, someone not as responsible and focused as yourself, yet you want to help them nonetheless. Be careful of burning your hard-earned cash on a friend who can’t take responsibility for their own actions! Reckless spending is not what you’re about.

Libra

The latter half of this month has been all about showcasing your sexual energy, but this week could see that sexiness become unstable. You’ll find it hard to be on the same page about something with a partner, but does the problem need to change or just how you respond to it? Partnerships are about listening and compromise, so just because your love doesn’t see things the way you do doesn’t necessarily mean they are wrong. Adjusting how you handle what your love life throws at you will serve you better as Venus and Uranus hectically oppose one another in your relationship sector.

Scorpio

Mercury is in retrograde, yet moves into your sign on November 30th, followed by Venus moving in on Saturday. This combination is ripe for bountiful sexual energy, yet the type that can be confused or unclear. Maybe you’re not sure about what choice to make in your love life or are giving off misleading signals. Who really cares about making a decision right now, though? At the moment, you’ll be all about the attention you’re receiving from your magical Scorpio vamp status!

Sagittarius

Expect a jolt to the heart this week that will have you floating on the Cloud 9 of love. Your expression of compassion and focusing on yourself earlier in the month serves you well now when it seems that anything this week can’t possibly conclude without anything short of a happy ending. However, Mercury’s retrograde might create some misunderstandings at work, so just remember to keep a cool head and not let minor flubs get the best of you. Nothing can bring you down this week!

Capricorn

Your friends are quick to lend their advice this week without you even really asking for it. Needing to talk things out and get things off your chest might be interpreted as seeking opinions on how you should be living your life, but remember that they are not the ones living it for you. While moral support is appreciated, don’t take someone else’s words too close to heart if it’s not the decision that feels right for you this week. Great conversations are in store for you this week, so use the opportunity to listen and grow in a way that suits you and only you the best.

Aquarius

Mercury retrograde is bringing you to a crossroad in your career, but, fortunately for you, either option seems beneficial. It’s hard when either decision could be a good one, so take the time to really think about what’s best for you and not let other’s get in your ear. This same positive energy lends itself to your relationship sector, where single Aquarians might be at the receiving end of an important person’s gaze. Is a successful and well-respected individual romantically eyeing you? Lucky you!

Pisces

A legal situation might arise this week, and if Mercury retrograde has anything to do with it, it’s definitely regarding something rooted in the past, possibly even from earlier this year. Fortunately, this dilemma will go in your favor, especially with a helpful support system having your back. Speaking of the past, a former lover could pop up this week, ironically as you begin a new creative or work endeavor. Good thing this will actually turn out to be a positive run-in!

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Which WWE Finishing Move are you Based on your Horoscope?

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Which WWE Finishing Move are you Based on your Horoscope?

2020 feels like being thrown off the top of the Hell in a Cell structure and crashing through the announcement table, fam. It’s been painful and disorienting. Even if we don’t know where this wild year will lead us, at the very least we still have the release of WWE 2K Battlegrounds to look forward to. Can I have a Yassss [in Spanish]? Thank you. That was beautiful. 

(Scroll to the bottom to check out the WWE 2K Battlegrounds trailer!)

While 2020 figures itself out, at the very least we can unleash some madrasos on our friends and primos while playing this high flying, face smashing, adrenaline exploding brawl-style arcade game full of WWE Superstars and Legends. A HUEVO! But if you find it difficult to decide which finishing move you’re going to decimate your friends or primos with, NO WORRIES, baby…you can always look to the cosmos – because this article is going to tell you which WWE Finishing move you are based on your horoscope AND how you can send your opponents crying to their mamas. 

ARIES

Aries. You’re Randy Orton’s RKO. But, Aries. Come on. You already knew that, fam. You’re calculated. Aggressive. Assertive. You’ll run into your friend at the supermarket and they’ll be telling you how their mom is doing good and how she’s around the corner getting some hair dye and BAM! RKO! You’ll drop that person right in the middle of the cereal aisle because you spotted them an elote that one time and they never paid you back. Aries, you’re wild. And that spontaneity will serve you well when you play WWE 2K Battlegrounds.

TAURUS

Taurus, you love beautiful things and you’re a very committed person – meaning, you just don’t let things GO! Taurus, it’s obvious. You’re Charlotte Flair’s Figure 8. Your finisher is beautiful. Stunning. And when you got that baby locked in, Taurus, you’ll never let go! You’re like my mom who never forgave me that one time I ordered pizza when she was about to reheat calabazas she made a week ago. So lock in that Figure 8, Taurus. Make your enemies throw their controllers in anger.

GEMINI

Dear, Gemini, of course you’re going to drop two finishers on somebody. You’ve got that crazy cosmic duality in you, fam. This means you’re definitely Sasha’s Back Stabber AND Bank Statement. When people play WWE 2K Battlegrounds with you, they’ll think they’re only playing a game. Ba-HAHAHAH! This ain’t a game to you! You came to win, Gemini. But, please Gemini, do us all a favor. Don’t play with llorones. Cause you’re gonna make someone cry with those moves.

CANCER

Cancer, your finishing move is Keith Lee’s Big Bang Catastrophe. You have great emotional depth. You’re sensitive. So it makes sense that your move should rock your opponent to their core, while bringing the two of you close. Cancer, when you drop that Big Bang Catastrophe, you are going to bond with your opponent so much. As their back slams onto the mat and you land, full-weight, on top of them…you’ll be closer than arroz y frijoles. Or like asada on tortilla. Or any other delicious food pairings you prefer. Cancer, thank you for caring so much about how you destroy your amigos and siblings. 

LEO

Leo, this is your world, baby. You’re the king of the ring, which means, obvio, your finisher is The Undertaker’s Tombstone Piledriver. This is a legendary move. People don’t come back from this. One time I was watching the Undertaker deliver the Tombstone Piledriver on TV and from behind I heard my mom say to me, “Ese hombre no tiene madre.” I turned to my mom and said…”No. El Undertaker no tiene madre. Viene del infierno.” My mom gasped. She’d never met someone que no tiene madre before. So, when you’re playing that WWE 2K Battlegrounds, te suplico…take it easy on the other players. The Undertaker is not like the rest of us. 

VIRGO

Virgo, you’re a perfectionist. You’re detail oriented. Your finisher is Drew McIntyre’s Future Shock DDT. This is a precision move. When you were a kid in line to hit the piñata, everyone swung blindfolded with all their might and made a fool of themselves. But not you, Virgo. You were solving formulas and equations in your head. By the time they handed you the palo to swing at the piñata, you knew the precise moment to swing, exploding that piñata and catching everyone off-guard, including your tío who was previously holding the piñata rope and subsequently hanging from the roof of the garage. Drop that DDT, baby. Drop it like it’s hot.

LIBRA

Libra you’re all about harmony and human connection. AWWW…Libra, eres muy cute. Except for when you’re making human connection by using Becky Lynch’s Disarm-Her finishing move to dislocate your opponent’s shoulder. Libra, while most people make connections by holding hands, or a simply high 5’ing… you don’t. Because your idea of connection is grabbing someone by the wrist, like Becky Lynch, and trying to yank their arm out. Libra, use this move in WWE 2K Battlegrounds to disable that cousin who taunted you saying, “You fight like a girl.” After you break their arm in the video game, let them know…”You’re damn right I do.”

SCORPIO

Scorpio, te vale madre what others think of you. You’re a Stone Cold Stunner, baby. You do things como te dé la gana. So when you step into the ring, you make your own rules. When your friend says your playing is “weak” – STUNNER. When someone tries to pick up a chair in the game – STUNNER. When your prima says, “I’m gonna pause, I need to use the restroom” – STUNNER. When your mom comes in asking if anyone wants limonada. STUN…wait, NO. Don’t give your a’ma a stunner. That’s rude. Your mom does a lot. Say, “please and thank you…” then give everyone else a STUNNER and drink your limonada as if it tastes like victory. 

SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarius, you’re known for taking the road less traveled. When most go for a hard scoop slam, not you Sagittarius. Not you. You do Strowman’s Running Powerslam. Because a body slam is such a “from point A to point B” type of move. But you like to lift your opponents onto your shoulder like they’re a wholesale-sized bag of dog food and you run Sagittarius. You run from point A, to B, to C, to D, and you slam your friend’s character in the game somewhere around point Y, or Z. And when your friend says, “I’m tired of losing…can we order a pizza?” You say to them, “No. I take the road less traveled. I want Peruvian food. And I’d also like to travel away from not playing. We shall continue to play, and I shall continue to destroy you. I take the road less traveled.”  

CAPRICORN

Capricorn. You don’t mess around. Neither does Asuka’s Asuka Lock, which totally makes sense as your WWE finishing move. Others may see you as serious and traditional, but when you’ve got that Asuka Lock on them all they’re gonna see is that they’re about to lose the match, because you’ve got a grip on them that’s tighter than your abuelo’s abnormally strong handshake. Why do all abuelos have that grip, though? My hand hurts just thinking about it…And just like your abuelo makes you panic everytime he holds out his hand to saludar, so will your enemies when you play as Asuka.  

AQUARIUS

Aquarius, you’re a little bit of a peacock, and that’s meant in a good way. Your finishing move is Rey Mysterio’s 619. And it makes sense. You have panache. You’ve got style. You’ve got dance moves that make your mom wanna tell you, “deberías ir a la iglesia más seguido (you should go to church more often).” The 619 is a special move. It’s got style. It’s got excitement. And it’s got you swinging two boots like a roundhouse kick at your opponent’s face. Listen to the stars, Aquarius…the stars want you to kick your opponent in the face.    

PISCES

Pisces, you are artistic. You’re a dreamer. You go with the flow. So when you flatten your opponents like handmade tortillas, you bet your mother’s enchiladas you’re using Alexa Bliss’s Twisted Bliss. Not only is this finisher a true work of art, but when your amiga sees you soaring off the top turnbuckle in the game, she’ll suddenly get the urge to apologize for all the wrong she’s ever done to you: like when she said your brother reminds her of that sexy reggaeton artist. Because as soon as that Twisted Bliss connects and her character in the game is totally norteada, her only hope of survival is that you have mercy on her. But WWE 2K Battlegrounds isn’t about mercy. If she wanted mercy, she should’ve played dominoes with her mom.

WWE 2K Battlegrounds is out NOW! Whatever your zodiac sign, this game is loaded with finishers from tons of WWE Superstars that totally align with your cosmic energy. So get ready to spend hours of fun drop kicking your friends in the back of the head, crashing your brother through a table, and giving your cousins spears, rock bottoms, and glam slams – because this game takes wrestling to new heights with over-the-top action you won’t get anywhere else. 

As promised, here’s the WWE 2K Battlegrounds trailer!

*Please don’t try these moves at home. No. Not even with a helmet.* 

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From Taurus To Cancer, These Are The Most Compatible Signs With Virgo

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From Taurus To Cancer, These Are The Most Compatible Signs With Virgo

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Who are we kidding: one of the major reasons all of us check our horoscope is to find out what the future has in store for us when it comes to love and lust. After all, you know that if you’re really meant to be together, then it’ll be written in the stars. 

So Virgo, in honor of your birthday, we’ve put together a quick guide to point you in the direction of your soulmate.

Virgo with an Aries (March 21 – April 19) creates an explosively fiery passion.

Instagram / @pavingsunrays

Part of what attracts you to Aries is the fact that they do everything with so much passion. You can’t help but be attracted to the fire in their soul. But Virgo, you can only function on their level for so long until you burn out. For you, a relationship with Aries takes work.

Compatibility: Low

Virgo with a Taurus (April 20 – May 20) is a matchmaker’s pick!

Instagram / @the.bridal.visions

Taurus are known for being super grounded and down to earth, and that’s exactly the kind of person you need in your life, Virgo. Your drive for perfectionism means that your Taurus can put things into perspective for you – they’re the yin to your yang, so to speak.

Compatibility: High

Virgo with a Gemini (May 21 – June 20) sees opposites attract.

Instagram / @vcheckmark

If one of your brutally honest friends had to describe you, Virgo, they’d say you’re a bit of a square. And, they wouldn’t exactly be wrong. That’s why Gemini can get on your nerves a bit … they’ve always got their heads up in the clouds when you’re trying to be realistic!

Compatibility: Low

Virgo with a Cancer (June 21 – July 22) means both love and lust.

Instagram / @mannyg520

While on the surface it would seem like Cancer is a bit too emotional for you, Virgo, it turns out that they’re exactly the sort of person you need in your life – and they need you, too. Your pragmatism in the face of their emotional swings is what keeps them sane. And they remind you to stay in touch with your softer side. So you know what this means? You guys have fabulous, fulfilling sex. Noice.

Compatibility: High

Virgo with a Leo (July 23 – August 22) is one hell of a rollercoaster!

Instagram / @happy_healthy_fitcouple

Leo can definitely test your patience, Virgo. You’re a quiet achiever, whereas Leo likes to get all of the attention, wherever they can get it. Leo’s got a massive ego that needs stroking … and you’re more critical. As you can imagine, it’s pretty much the perfect environment for lots of silly bickering. Then again, every couple has those moments, right?

Compatibility: Medium

Virgo with a Virgo (August 23 – September 22) asks the question: can you ever have too much of a good thing?

Instagram / @miles.and.smiles

You’d think that being with someone who functions on the same vibe as you would be a match made in heaven. But, that’s only true to a certain extent. Given that the two of you are perfectionists and workaholics, you’d make a great power couple … that has almost zero romantic and sexual chemistry. If you want it to work, you’ve gotta work at it, Virgo.

Compatibility: Medium

Virgo with a Libra (September 23 – October 22) meshes realism with idealism.

Instagram / @vcheckmark

When people think Libra, they think social butterfly. When people think Virgo, they think shy. Virgo, you’re a realist, whereas Libras are an idealist. They say that opposites attract, but in your case, you’d probably find that the differences between you and Libra would eventually drag you away from each other. The both of you would really have to put in an effort to find your way back.

Compatibility: Low

Virgo with a Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) sees things heat up in the bedroom.

Instagram / @smperez

While Scorpio and Virgo can build a really secure and safe relationship, you kids can come unstuck when it comes to your attitudes towards the bedroom. Scorpio tends to be all about the real carnal side of the beast with two backs, whereas Virgo is more about connecting emotionally through sex.

Compatibility: Medium

Virgo with a Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21) mixes fun and stability.

Instagram / @littledolewhips

It’s nice when you meet someone who’s as adaptable as you are. But in the case of Sagittarius, Virgo, you might find that they’re a little too spontaneous for your liking. That being said, they might get you to loosen up a little, which is never a bad thing in your case!

Compatibility: Medium

Virgo with a Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) is a match made in heaven!

Instagram / @bonitachinitalatina

Capricorn’s brand of perfectionism fits pretty well with your brand of perfectionism, Virgo. The difference is that you strive for better because you want to do good, whereas Capricorn wants to be good – at everything they do. And that makes you good together!

Compatibility: High

Virgo with an Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) is a hella smart match.

Instagram / @brazilcupid

Because both you and Aquarius are intellectual sorts, you’d find that you’d have what Alanis Morissette called, “intellectual intercourse.” But since the pair of you have such different approaches to life, you’d probably find it a lot easier to work on a friendship together, rather than a real steamy, romantic relationship.

Compatibility: Medium

Virgo with a Pisces (February 19 – March 20) means sweetness in spades.

Instagram / @yamelyhr

There’s no denying it, there’s definitely an attraction between you two. You’re both devoted, thoughtful and detail-oriented souls – but where Pisces is a dreamer, you’re much more realistic. If you’re both able to navigate your differences, then there’s no stopping you! Chances are, though, you’d find that your relationship will always be an ongoing project.

Compatibility: Medium

Does this explain a lot about your current relationship? Or, maybe more about what went wrong in your last romance? Let us know your thoughts on our Facebook page by clicking the icon at the top of the page!

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