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‘My Mom Insisted My Hips Changed’ Latinas Talk About Their Moms Finding Out They Had Sex For The First Time

There comes a time in a young woman’s life when she has to venture out into the world and experience everything out there that the world has to offer. And yes, “everything” includes sex. And while sex is a totally natural and expected step in a young woman’s coming-of-age journey, the Latinx community often holds notoriously conservative views about when it’s “okay” for a young woman to have sex for the first time.

This conservative attitude towards woman and sex is nowhere more prominent than it is in the minds of Latinx mothers. Many Latinx moms, especially from older generations, have been trained to believe that a young woman’s worth is tied to her virginity and that it’s a sin to have sex out of wedlock. This attitude makes it hard for girls to talk to their parents about sex, which means a large portion of the Latina population is uneducated about STIs, unwanted pregnancy, contraception, and how being sexually active can impact your emotions. Because of the shame surrounding extramarital sex in the Latinx community, many young women hide the fact that they’ve been having sex from their mothers in order to avoid conflict or avoid being shamed.

That’s why Fierce by mitú took to our Instagram page to ask our followers how their madres reacted when they found out their daughters were no longer virgins. We also wanted to know if our followers decided to keep their virginity statuses to themselves.

Check out the answers below!

1. This mom’s nosiness gave her more than she bargained for

@addictivestock/Instagram

“My mom found out I was having sex when I was 23 years old and she found my birth control (cringe!). This is a pretty common story I share with a lot of my friends but the way my mom found out was pretty mortifying. My novio, who I have been dating since I was 14 and who she has known for as many years, was over at the house. Because my mom has always been very nosey and a helicopter mom I would give him my birth control for safe keeping (For so many reasons Don’t DO THIS!!) Anyway. The birth control fell out of his bag and my mom flipped out. Any other scenario, had I hid it in a closet or sock drawer she would have found out sooner but I probably could have convinced her it was just for acne.” – Veronica, Chicago

2. This mama read between the lines and stayed silent

@lcdfotografia/Instagram

“I kind of had to fess up to my mom because I was moving in with my boyfriend. She’d been asking me since we started dating if I was using protection over and over again and I was too embarrassed to even say that we were having sex. I finally just told her that I was moving in with him and I think she got the deal.” Kathryn, Los Angeles

3. This mom insisted she could tell by just LOOKING at her daughter

@addictivestock/Instagram

“I told my mom years after, but she swears she knew the night I came home that it happened. I’m like c’mon, Mom. No way did you know. But, you know how they are–they know EVERYTHING.” – Laney, San Bernadino

4. The old “hyper-emotional” reaction

@addictivestock/Instagram

“My mom cried so so hard and then instantly got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment. She also claimed she “knew” that I wasn’t anymore anyhow ’cause I “started talking back”. But, I was 21 at that point!” – Yvette

5. The mom who doesn’t know…but c’mon: she knows

@precious.earth.nature/Instagram

“To [my mom] I’m still [a virgin] ’till I’m married….Nahhh I think she probably suspects I’m not by now”. – Connie, Southern California

6. The mom who lives in blissful ignorance

@maarjavahiphotography/Instagram

“I’m 30 years old and still haven’t told my mom. At this point she’s gotta suspect I’m not [a virgin]. But at least I waited until I was 19!” Anna, Chicago

7. The Suffocating Silence

@jevgenijasorokina/Instagram

“Literally my current situation, lol. I want to tell her but, I’m afraid of her reaction. I don’t think she’ll be mad, but I really would hate for her to cry about it. Send help!” Darlene, Riverside

8. The “Live Your Life” Type of Mom

@olga_lukaneva/Instagram

“I keep it to myself, but I’m pretty sure she knows me better. 😉 ” – Belle, Puerto Rico

9. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy

@bailandoconjulieta/Instagram

“She never asked and I never told her… but for what it’s worth, I waited till I was at least 18.” Tania, Los Angeles

10. The Mom Who Tries and Fails to Guilt Trip

@glam_.dps/Instagram

“She said: ‘Why didnt [you] wait ’till marriage like [I] told over and over again?’. So, I said: “Who said I’ll ever get married?” Lizet, Bakersfield, CA

11. This mom who started crying when she walked in on the act

glam_.dps / Instagram

“I had skipped school to lose my virginity to my high school boyfriend. We had planned it out so that I would play sick and he would skip school and do it when my parents were out of the house. They boy work long hours so we figured we had some time. The actual act went well, but literally just as we finished we heard my front door open. No snuggling. We both jumped up to hide. I’ve always thought it took maybe 30 steps to get from my front door to my room, my mom took five. My boyfriend ducked out of the bathroom and somehow my mom got to the front of the house to confront him. I mean he had no shirt on and was pulling him his pants. She knew. She knew so much she cried.”  Ana, Austin, TX

Women Share The Poor Treatment They’ve Received Because Of Mistreatment By Doctors: ‘I felt the cut from my c-section and screamed’

Fierce

Women Share The Poor Treatment They’ve Received Because Of Mistreatment By Doctors: ‘I felt the cut from my c-section and screamed’

John Moore / Getty

Recently, a post on social media sparked a conversation among Latinas online about the way women of color are treated by health care workers in the United States. A post by a user by the name of @krystinaArielle prompted comments that are truly so eyeopening.

“I keep telling you. It’s not just the police. Doctors treat us horribly and act as if we’re faking. After my c-section they sent me home with no pain medicine. Let me repeat: they cut open my stomach, ripped out a child, and sent me home with nothing,” a user by the name of Kristina Arielle wrote. ” I had to beg one of my nurses for pain medicine as she saw me in pain. My chart even had the time I was supposed to get it. She treated me as if I was a liar. It was a day after surgery and I was just getting feeling back in my legs. I felt everything. When I went back to have my scar inspected my PA looked shocked that it looked good. I go to the post-interview and the assistant goes “they were shocked your scar was so smooth. He usually does an awful staple job on brown women. Its probably because your husband is white.”

When we posted Arielle’s account on Instagram, users were quick to reply with their own experiences.

Some women say such treatment inspired them to get involved in medicine.

“Another reason I got into the medical field, I want to be able to help out by being a female Latina medical provider so that my patients can feel comfortable and safe along with being able to explain things in Spanish.”- ore_yana

Others said they’ve been prompted to avoid any providers who are not women of color.

“All of my medical providers are women of color. I am done with the white male medical patriarchy.” –bella_cin

One woman said that she almost did not survive giving birth.

“This happened to me, dilated at 10pm, gave birth at 3.59 am… left pushing for 6hours. Thank the universe that my daughter was born. Either one of us could have ‘not survived’ the birth.” – auletta.chiquita

Another shared how uncaring her providers were.

“They gave me tylenol to take at home after my c-section.” – _tweedle.deee

A doctor didn’t believe her when she said she didn’t have enough of her epidural.

“An old coworker of mine told me about her 2nd daughters birth. She told drs that the epidural didn’t work and she could feel everything. They didn’t believe her and had no choice but to continue through the labor. She felt everything and she even tore in the process. Against she told them she was in a lot of pain. Drs again didn’t believe her until she told them how many stitches she felt so far as they closed her wound. it wasn’t until then that she said the doctors went “oh shit” and gave her medication. Smh it’s a fucking shame and disgrace that it’s still happening.” – noturmamaciiita

One woman says her doctors during her birth were dismissive of her pain.

“This is true, when my mom had my sister, they put in the epidural wrong and it gave her a really bad headache ON TOP OF having a C-section and the doctors dismissed her pain.” – natalia.oregon

She lost her cousin to the doctors’ lack of care.

“My cousin had diabetes and got an infection after her C-section and died days later 😔 she should have been under medical care for much longer.” – tinnaafaceee

She had nonchalant treatment when she lost a baby.

“I lost a baby in February and I feel that more could be been done. I was just pretty much told I’m in labor and we just had to let it be. It was the most traumatizing moment in my life. I’m pregnant again and so scared to have the same nonchalant treatment I did before.” –maricela.diaz84

And this woman says she was left for dead by her doctors.

“I wish more people knew about this, I nearly died at birth because my doctor left me for dead after I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. My papa had to literally save me. Like seriously?! & my mom was bleeding out, the doctor declared me dead at birth and peaced out. It was just me, my mom & dad struggling to survive.” –curlsofroses

This horrifying moment had a woman experience the pain of her c-section.

“I felt the cut from my c-section and screamed even after I kept telling them I could still feel pain while they were prepping me. When my grito was out people ran all over and I was out under (higher risk) because they did not listen.” – jo_trains

Former Miss Colombia Posts Video Dancing After Part Of Her Left Leg Had To Be Amputated

Fierce

Former Miss Colombia Posts Video Dancing After Part Of Her Left Leg Had To Be Amputated

danielaalvareztv / Instagram

Former Miss Colombia Daniella Álvarez is showing that there is nothing that can keep her down. The former beauty pageant star had to have part of her left leg amputated after complications from a routine surgery.

Daniella Álvarez, a former Miss Colombia, is showing the world her resilience.

After a routine surgical procedure, and several follow up surgeries, part of the beauty pageant star’s left leg was amputated. Despite a major surgery, Álvarez is determined to live out the rest of her dreams and regardless of the amputation.

She recently shared a video on Instagram of her dancing for the first time since the surgery 3 weeks ago.

“Putting swing to life with my favorite partner @rickialvarezv. No matter the difficulties,” Álvarez writes in her post. “We must be resilient in life!”

Álvarez’s story is a cautionary tale of the kinds of complications that can arise from routine surgical procedures.

Álvarez explains that she went in to have a lump removed from her abdomen. Unfortunately, that surgery led to complications that required follow up surgeries to rectify the issues. Those follow up surgeries led to ischemia, which is when blood doesn’t flow where it needs to. The ischemia attacked both of her legs yet the left one was the most impacted.

Doctors tried everything they could to save Álvarez’s left leg.

After multiple surgeries, it became clear to doctors that they would not be able to save Álvarez’s leg. The only option left was to amputate and Álvarez accepted that fate with grace and class. The young woman seemed at peace with the decision and trusted that her doctors had done their jobs to the best of their ability.

Best wishes on an increasingly speedy recovery!

Álvarez’s right leg is not completely healed from the complications but it is getting better.

“The ischemia has also affected the functionality of my other foot as well, I am unable to walk,” Álvarez told La FM, according to Hola. “My right foot feels completely asleep and hasn’t woken up and we don’t know how long it will take for the foot to start functioning again.”

READ: Colombia’s Beauty Queen Winner Shared Her Brave Decision To Have Her Leg Amputated