entertainment

This Is What Mean Girls Would Look Like Recast With Latino Actors

Mean Girls from 2004 has survived the test of time as a classic coming-of-age story that follows the conventions of teen movies and rom-coms, but adds a quirky and delicious twist. The story of an innocent girl who lands in a high school ruled by the clique The Plastics was innovative in its portrayal of body image issues, gender representation and revolutionary girl power. The movie was scripted by Our Lady Funny, Tina Fey, so it is not a surprise that it feels so fresh and current even today.  It is hard to believe that this timeless classic is almost 15 years old!

But… and this is a big but…. Mean Girls scored pretty low on the diversity scale, so we need to give it our world famous “recast with Latinos” treatment. In today’s popular media plenty of Latino talent has made their voice heard in the United States and other markets like Latin America, Spain and even Asia. It was hard for us to choose this imagined cast! We chose both upcoming and established faces in the deep well of Latino talent of the entertainment industry.

As us Latinos say: Pa luego es tarde! 

Cady Heron (originally Lindsay Lohan)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

The heroine of the story. Sweet-sixteen Cady was homeschooled in Africa and now has to face the menacing jungle of a public school full of a new kind of predatory animal: teenagers! Lohan was at her best here: the unassuming Hollywood princess before the glamour of Tinseltown derailed her life and career.

Our Latino Power choice: Belinda (ganando, como siempre)

Credit: dt.common.streams.StreamServer. Digital image. El Heraldo.

She is a Mexican singing and acting powerhouse even though she was actually born in Spain. She is talented but can look deceptively tame, a quality that is key in Cady. We can totally picture her standing up for what she believes in.

Regina George (originally Rachel McAdams)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

The leader of The Plastics, a group of rich cabronas who rule over everyone else with an iron Prada fist. McAdams went on to build a stellar career in Hollywood with movies like the tearjerker The Notebook (confess, we have all cried watching it), but we will always remember her as the queen bee of The Plastics.

Our Latino Power choice: Naya Rivera

Credit:  Glee. Fox Television.

In a way she has already played this role in Glee, where she played the mean girl cheerleader Santana Lopez. She can sing and dance, alright? If the famously strict showrunner Ryan Murphy fell for her charm, so do we!  She is sassy and wears her Puerto Rican heritage on her sleeve. She would add depth to Regina and make her transformation believable.

***FETCH ALERT***

BTW, if you’re still trying to make “fetch” happen, we’re betting you’re still wearing army pants and flip-flops because Cady H wore army pants and flip-flips. This can only mean one thing which is that you’ve got one of those wardrobes that could use a mitú-style Plastics makeover. Regina George tip #1: start with the concha shirt and work your way down. Get in on it Loser.

Ms. Norbury (originally Tina Fey)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

The dorky and loving calculus teacher everyone adores but no one truly respects. Fey is at her best here: the same smart but modest charisma that she displays in 30 Rock as Liz Lemon (the quirky dork par excellence!).

Our Latino Power choice: Jessica Alba

Credit: Fantastic Four. Twentieth Century Fox.

It has been a while since we have seen this true Hollywood starlet in a funny and easygoing role. She looks gorge in glasses and is extremely smart, so she would be perfect as Ms. Norbury. We love Tina Fey, of course, but Alba would be a fantastic option.

Mrs George (originally Amy Poehler)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

Regina’s mom, a true wreck who thinks that parenting is a walk in the park… or a picnic in the park full with a glass of wine or two. Mrs George wants to be a cool mom, but forgets that teenage girls crave limits. Pobrecita, la verdad. Poehler gives a slapstick quality to the character that is infamously engrained in our memory.

Our Latino Power choice: Christina Aguilera

Credit: Giphy. Anonymous.

An intriguing choice, but we can totally picture the diva being funny. Just remember her persona as a judge in The Voice, where she was lovely but tough. It would be amazing to see Christina in a more relaxed role, wouldn’t it? She would sure have tons of fun and she would be a commanding presence on the set.

Janis Ian (originally Lizzy Caplan)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

The epitome of the emo, artistic, poetic girl. She quickly becomes Cady’s friend. Her antagonist is obviously the spiteful Regina. Caplan is an amazing actress who is a bit underused in this movie and we got to witness her true capacities in the amazing TV show Masters of Sex (if you haven’t watched do it now: it is like steamy Mad Men).

Our Latino Power choice: Dulce Maria

Credit: Instagram. @dulcemaria

We first fell in love with this Mexican dynamo when she played a rebellious and independent teen in the super popular telenovela Rebelde, which happened in a fancy boarding school with similar social dynamics to Mean Girls. Like Caplan, Dulce Maria is a brunette with an air of gothic beauty.

Karen Smith (originally Amanda Seyfried)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

The most airhead member of The Plastics. She is equally clueless (get it, get it?) and loyal to The Plastics. Seyfried went on to become an A-lister and go-to actress for important directors like Armenian-Canadian auteur Atom Egoyan.

Our Latino Power choice: Jasmine Villegas

Credit: jasmine-villegas-press-2015-billboard-650. Digital image. Billboard.

Let’s think outside the box: the R&B singer Jasmine V would be an intriguing Karen. She is beautiful like Seyfried and her voice would give renewed energy to the character.

Gretchen Wieners (originally Lacey Chabert)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

Picture un perrito faldero (a lap dog) and you will understand Gretchen’s relationship with Regina. She is willing to do lo que sea to get Regina’s acceptance. Get some dignity, girl! Her most infamous quote: “Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white”. Ugh.

Our Latino Power choice: Alexa Vega

Credit: Sin City. Buenavista.

We first saw her as a kickass power puff girl in Robert Rodriguez’s franchise Spy Kids. She re-teamed with Rodriguez for the cult Machete Kills, a mexploitaition masterpiece, as well as in Sin City, where she plays a fierce lady.

Damian Leigh (originally Daniel Franzese)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

A 2000s teen movie would not be complete without a trusted gay BBF, and Damian is exactly that for Janis and their new pal Cady. Damian is proud of his identity, but we don’t really get to know his tribulations.

Our Latino Power choice: Rico Rodriguez

Credit: Modern Family. ABC.

Rico Rodriguez has achieved international fame as the child-in-an-old-man’s-body Manny Delgado. Rodriguez has impeccable timing for comedy and her interactions with our imagined Latino cast of Belinda and Dulce Maria would be witty and charming. We just hope that Rico can escape being cast in Manny-like characters only, he deserves better than that.

Aaron Samuels (originally Jonathan Bennett)

Credit: Mean Girls. Paramount Pictures.

Regina’s ex-beau and Cady’s love interest. She just can’t resist the primitive urge to munch on this All-American boy. Cute but kinda lame, the standard romantic partner in any high-school-themed comedy. Perhaps Tina Fey wanted to make fun of the stereotype when she wrote the script.

Our Latino Power choice: Michael Trevino

Credit: The Vampire Diaries. Warner Bros. Television

This heartthrob of Mexican descent captivated us as a sexy werewolf-vampire hybrid in The Vampire Diaries. He has that vulnerable bad boy vibe that is so hard to find and only the likes of James Dean and Robert Pattinson possess.

And we would also choose a director: Tanya Saracho

This Mexican female director led the awesome TV show Vida for Starz. She is great at capturing the nuances of Hispanic identity in the United States.

21 Episodes:  What-If Friends Was Set In Los Angeles?

entertainment

21 Episodes:  What-If Friends Was Set In Los Angeles?

Instagram @ x.friends.x.x

Los Angeles is the epicenter of the film and television industries, but very few sitcoms are set in this multicultural metropolitan hub. Most sitcoms happen in New York, even if they are shot in sets built in California. Crazy, eh? Well, what if Friends actually took place in the City of Dreams?

1. “The one where Joey wins a taco eating competition at Carnitas Michoacan”

Credit: 030913-244750-Carnitas-Michoacan-Exterior+. Digital image. Serious Eats

Carnitas Michoacan is an angelano institution. Mexican food experts claim that they are the real deal. In this episode, Joey would be broke after his acting gig fell through, so he would enter and win a taco eating contest to be able to afford rent. Chandler would need to care for him after he gets indigestion.

2. “The one where Ross finds a fossil under the Hollywood sign”

Credit: Best-Photos-Burbank-California-Things-to-do-in-Los-Angeles-@StephBeTravel-1-of-1-1024x692_Digital image. TRAVEL BREAK

Paleontologist Ross Geller would be trekking near the Hollywood sign and suddenly trip on something. On close inspection, he would realize it is a dinosaur bone! He would not be allowed to dig and that would throw him into a fit of frustration.

3. “The one where Phoebe marries a Chicano muralist”

Credit: Botello -1-thumb-600×401-61605_KCET Digital image. KCET

Strolling the streets of East Los, our favorite silly girl would meet a sexy muralist called Jorge, and marry him on the spot. She would later discover that once you marry a Latino you marry the whole family!

4. “The one where Rachel and Monica find a job at Canter’s”

Credit: Canters-Deli-Los-Angeles_0.  Digital image. The infatuation

Rachel and Monica find out that working with your best friend isn’t that easy. Monica is a cook and Rachel is a waitress at this LA institution… Rachel keeps flirting with rock stars in the late night shift and Monica gets her fired.

5. “The one where Joey and Chandler get the Dog Whisperer for their pet duck”

Credit: Cesar-Millan-LA-Times_Digital image.The Yucatan Times

Desperate because their duck quacks all night, the dynamic duo finds Cesar Millan and begs for help. Hilarity follows.

6. “The one where Monica bumps into her ex Richard at Chateau Marmont”

Credit: chateau-marmont_TripAdvisor Digital image.TripAdvisor

Monica just can’t seem to keep a job in Los Angeles. As a cook in the infamous Chateau Marmont, she bumps into her ex Richard, who is a dentist to many celebrities! He is there to untangle two teenage stars whose brackets got stuck while they were making out. Classy.

7. “The one where Chandler moves to Echo Park and breaks Joey’s heart”

Credit: Echo_Park_Lake_with_Downtown_Los_Angeles_Digital image. Skyline Planning and GIS

BFFs Chandler and Joey can’t live together forever. Chandler finds a great investment opportunity in up and coming Echo Park and moves to the cool neighborhood. All is forbidden when Joey discovers a tamale cart across the street. Two verdes, please!

8. “The one where Ross jumps into the fountain at The Grove”

Credit: grove-hero+. Digital image. Caruso

The Grove is perhaps the prettiest mall in the US. Ross is seeing someone while he and Rachel are on “a break”. He is holding hands with this new girl and suddenly he spots Rachel at a distance. How to hide? Just jump into the fountain. He gets cheers and claps from everyone and Rachel obviously sees him!

9. “The one where Chandler proposes to Monica at LACMA”

Credit: image Time Out. Digital image.Time Out

Los Angeles has one of the coolest contemporary art museums in the world: LACMA. In this episode, Chandler takes Monica to this amazing installation, gets down on one knee and proposes. Eso, mi Chandler!

10. “The one where Phoebe discovers she ate an ostrich taco at El Coyote”

Credit: img_0402 . Digital image. Peace Love Lunges

One of the most traditional Tex-Mex spots in the city. In this episode, Phoebe discovers that the delicious taco she just ate was made with ostrich meat. She loves ostriches and feels super guilty, so she ends up adopting three big-ass birds!

11. “The one where Phoebe dates a Laker who also loves ostriches”

Credit: Kuzma-1049957_. Digital image. Daily Express.

After adopting the three ostriches, Phoebe joins an online community of ostrich lovers. She meets a famous basketball player and moves in with him, but moves out after not being able to stand the smell of 20 ostriches living in their house…. and sleeping in their bedroom!

12. “The one where Rachel and Ross make up while trapped in the Santa Monica Ferris wheel”

Credit: offthehooksmpier610x250. Digital image.  CBS Los Angeles

Rachel and Ross enter the Santa Monica Ferris wheel as exes, but after a mechanical malfunction they get stuck up there for 5 hours and are an item again after finally being released at sunrise. Romantic as hell!

13. “The one where Chandler inherits Amoeba Music”

Credit: PPGTYHMYKFFHXIL6DV477QG4GQ.  Digital image. Los Angeles Times.

Chandler’s mom dates the owner of this cultural institution. The owner dies and inherits the shop to Chandler’s mom, who in turn tells him it is HIS early inheritance. Chandler ends up revitalizing the business! Think High Fidelity on a bigger scale!

14. “The one where Joey dates a cello player”

Credit: walt-disney-concert-hall-night_. Digital image. Discover Los Angeles.

Joey is quite a Don Juan and somehow gets interesting, cultured women to date him. In this episode, he goes to the opening night of a concert season, but he falls asleep and falls down from the upper floor of the hall… The concert is interrupted and Joey gets dumped!

15. “The one where Phoebe adopts a mountain lion!”

Credit: hollywd-p22-national-geographic-cant-use. Digital image. CBS News

Just stop it, Phoebs! In this episode, Phoebe is jogging in a national park and finds a mountain lion who seems to be sick. She puts her into her car and drives it home. She names him “Mariachi”. Chaos follows.

16. “The one where little Ben reveals himself as a Lego genius”

Credit: legoland-california-with-transport-in-los-angeles-158951 . Digital image. Viator

Ross takes his son to Legoland and… surprise… Ben builds an amazing rocketship in record time. Everyone is impressed at his genius building skills and Ben gets an sponsorship from the company. He now makes more than his academic dad.

17. “The one where the gang goes to a karaoke bar in Koreatown”

Credit: 1426854317758. Digital image. Traveller

They all pretend to sing K-pop and get a crowd to cheer and laugh at these gringos pretending they know a second language!

18. “The one where Rachel’s dad moves to Malibu… and buys a house for Rachel next door”

Credit: VC_LivingTheDream_SupportingContent_Other_Malibu_Stock_RF_108795_1280x640_0. Digital image. Visit California.

Rachel has always tried to solve things by herself and move away from her “rich daddy’s girl” persona. In this episode, Rachel mush stand true to herself when her dad buys her a 3 bedroom beach house in Malibu just to keep her close.

19. “The one where Joey beats Danny Trejo at a chili eating contest”

Credit: 1156848_1280x720. Digital image.  ABC7 News

Joey’s true abilities come to light in Los Angeles! In order to woo a hot Latina, Joey enters a chili eating competition with Danny Trejo. And he beats Machete!

20. “The one where Monica dates a muscle guy from Venice Beach”

Credit: muscle-beach-venice-bodybuilding-outdoor-gym-in-los-angeles-usa-3. Digital image. Venice Beach.

Monica meets a bodybuilder when he saves her from being run over by a bicycle. The gang feels intimidated at first but soon finds that the Hulk is a sweetheart with a love for extra sweet pastries… Monica bakes every single day to keep her guy’s calorie intake on check.

21. “The one where Joey becomes a Hollywood Boulevard impersonator”

Credit: hear+arrested+Spiderman+Sesame+Street+Kobe+PPXXoCtR1Zkl. Digital image. Zimbio

Life is tough in Los Angeles for a struggling actor. In order to make ends meet and not compromise his histrionic abilities, Joey dresses up as a different superhero each day and takes selfies with tourists on Hollywood Boulevard. He gets good at doing it but all the other impersonators stage a coup against him and kick him out!

 

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