Entertainment

Every Latino Can Relate To The Fear Of Cascarones While Celebrating One Of The Holiest Days

Even if your parents aren’t that religious, we can all remember our abuelitas coming home from mass to spritz holy water in our faces. My abuela had an entire altar in her spare closet complete with statues of Saints, bowls of holy water and velas going 24/7. It was a fire hazard.

Needless to say, if you grew up Catholic, every day was an opportunity to go to church or thank Dios, but no day was as holy as Easter. From the forty days leading up to it down to the very day, welcome to walk down memory lane:

You spent the entire week leading up to Easter (La Semana Santa) going to church every day.

CREDIT: @JennyAxtell / Twitter

Even if your family hadn’t been to church since last Christmas, this was the week that your family could be cleansed of all their sins. Pray hard this week and it counts double.

When you were a kid, you went to the church basement halfway through mass to be thoroughly creeped out.

CREDIT: @SenameOhiggins / Twitter

There may be a home video recording of you telling the Easter Bunny que “eres sucio.” Maybe that’s just me, too. 😉

Everyone and their tía came home with one of these Palm crosses.

CREDIT: @GalatiLoredana / Twitter

As a kid, once they started passing these out at Palm Sunday mass, you knew some yummy dulces were coming your way in just a few days. My abuela would make a dozen of these and pass them out.

You might even tune into EWTN to see El Papa give the holy mass.

CREDIT: @AlvarodeJuana_ / Twitter

You had to go fetch tissues for your abuela and kneel on your living room floor just like it was the real thing. Tuning in for Semana Santa masses was always a somber occasion.

Even though Good Friday was the one day a year there was no Mass, you still had to go to the neighborhood reenactment.

CREDIT: @itemlive / Twitter

Yes, it was always pretty disturbing as a kid. This is why it’s so easy for our mami’s to guilt trip us into doing or wearing anything. The Catholic guilty conscience starts with the Good Friday plays.

If you ever had an Easter egg hunt, it only had rosary beads inside.

CREDIT: @beltbiju / Instagram

They’d be extra special if your nana made it for you with your name inscribed. Some easter eggs had little vials of holy water or a tiny cross made of olive wood made in Bethlehem.

You may have made cascarones as a kid.

CREDIT: @chaosandcraftsupplies / Instagram

The best part is after you’ve drained the eggs, dyed them and filled them with confetti. Throwing them at your siblings or papa might have been the most fun part of Easter.

It was the only time you could lay in the grass with your nice clothes.

CREDIT: @hotmommasam / Twitter

It was also that one day of the year you wore the nice dress your mom kept hanging with a garbage bag over it. You wore it every single year until it became too short for church and then your little prima wore it.

And your mom pulled out her chocolate bunny molds.

CREDIT: @dulcepasionchile / Instagram

Maybe it was just me, but our kitchen would be lined up with plastic molds of eggs, Easter bunnies, and angels that would be filled with melted chocolate. My mom made chocolate pops out of them and it was magical.

It was just extra magical time.

CREDIT: @alemachuca / Twitter

…that our parents exploited to get us to se portan bien por Dios. Does lying to children count as a sin?

It also meant the whole family came together to go to the beach after Sunday Mass.

CREDIT: @MaradonaPICS / Twitter

Or Saturday–the actual day of rest from going to Mass that whole week. Usually, though, your schedule revolved around all the prep time our poor moms spent in the kitchen to prepare for Easter.

As adults, Easter means your tía sending this photo to the group text:

CREDIT: @MarRive56210461 / Twitter

More likely it’s a bloody image of Christ dying for our sins. The guilt trip never ends, my friends.

Like any family event, you can expect someone to ask you when you’re getting married.

CREDIT: @DiscreetLatino / Twitter

If your family is extra religious, you’ll hear the chismosas gossiping about whether or not you gave your “V card” away. Ya no puedo.

Today, Easter means looking forward to all the tasty grub, like bacaláo.

CREDIT: @glutoniana_ / Instagram

Yes, we’ve been eating fish for the last forty days, but some of us celebrated the miracle of Jesus’ baskets of fish one last time for the year with fried codfish.

Others go full lechón to celebrate the end of the meat fast.

CREDIT: @domingosantomx / Instagram

Typically, Catholics will fast from meat, ranging from the entire Lenten season to just Fridays to every day but Sunday. My family went with every day but Sunday. Comment with your family traditions below!

Claro, there’s the Pan de Pascua.

CREDIT: @pastrychefmile / Instagram

It’s not just any ordinary fruit cake. It’s only brought out on the holiest occasions, gaining more popularity at Christmas than the traditional Easter holiday.

If you’re like me and my hermanos, adulting means faking it.

CREDIT: @mandeepstan / Twitter

We’ve all tried to assert our spiritual or non-spiritual beliefs and pass on going to Mass, but nobody wants to make their mom cry. Fake it till you make it, they say.

Maybe you still give something up for Lent?

CREDIT: @celajandro / Twitter

There’s something to be said for the meaning of tradition. It feels good to do something with your family, even if it’s effectively a group diet. It still means something.

And today, we get to see our sobrinos in the cutest outfits.

CREDIT: @pedropablo_ns / Instagram

It looks like they’re getting more comfortable with every generation, gracias a Dios. As adults, it’s amazing to go full circle and help make Easter special for the young ones.

And dress our baby hijos in their own Easter Bunny outfits.

CREDIT: @sereba / Instagram

“Que preciosa, mi muñeca linda! Que Dios te bendiga y te quiero mucho, mi amor!”

Tell me you haven’t said this to your dog and prove that we’re not all our parents when it comes to our dogs. 🐰

READ: Cascarones: the Confetti-filled Eggs That Make Easter the Most Colorful Fiesta of the Year

These 20 Latino Sayings Will Get You Through Any And Every Day

Culture

These 20 Latino Sayings Will Get You Through Any And Every Day

Sai De Silva / Unsplash

Life is complicated. Luckily, Latinos have sayings, or refrains, that help with managing expectations and making better choices. Beyond offering sound advice, some clever sayings, when dropped like jewels at just the right moment, help transform tension into laughter. While some sayings seem outdated, folk witticisms leftover from the early days, they address elements of the human condition that are timeless like love, jealousy, ingratitude, and morality. Whether deciding to stay in a long-distance relationship or looking for an old-school diss, these 20 Latino sayings are worth memorizing and dishing out the next time a golden opportunity presents itself.

Talk About Love

Credit: Sticker Mule / Unsplash

1. Mejor sola que mala acompañada.

Better to be alone then among bad company. This saying is great for those moments when the fear of being alone starts to kick in. More deeply, this timeless saying is also reflective of the importance of self- love.

2. Amor de lejos, felices los cuatros.

In long-distance love, four people are happy. This pessimistic proverb suggests long-distance relationships provide fertile ground for infidelity. This saying came about before technology helped couples stay more in touch than ever. And yet, the possibility remains.

3. Juntos pero no revueltos.

Together but not mixed. This dicho is the equivalent of saying, “It’s complicated.” It’s a great way to explain why a couple doesn’t live together, or why they are not married.

4. Un clavo saca otro clavo.

A nail removes the other nail. The meaning behind this refrán is that a new relationship, or lover, can help a person get over a failed relationship.

5.  Ojos que no ven, corazón que no siente.

Out of sight, out of mind. It’s hard to say this refrán without thinking about Alexis & Fido’s 2009 hit song.

Proceed With Caution

Credit: Belinda Fewings / Unsplasj

6. Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.

Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. This saying has come out of many parents’ mouths. It’s a perfect proverb for helping a person decide what kind of company they should keep.

7. Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo.

The devil knows more because he is old than because he is the devil. In other words, with age comes wisdom. This saying also warns against elders who may be sly or have bad intentions.

8. Con un dedo no se tapa el sol.

The sun cannot be covered with a finger. This is a great piece of advice that addresses the way self-deception is harmful. It also calls out quick fixes that don’t serve to address larger issues.

9. En boca cerrada no entran moscas.

A closed mouth does not catch flies. This idiom more accurately translates to ‘silence is golden.’ This refrán extols the virtues of discretion.

10. El que no llora, no mama.

The baby who doesn’t cry, doesn’t get milk. This saying is akin to ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease.’ A great refrán serving to inspire vocalization of needs and wants.

Insults Que Arden

Credit: Charles / Unsplash

11. A otro perro con ese hueso.

To another dog with that bone. It’s the “talk to the hand” of all the idioms. Deploy this saying at the sight of deception. 

12. Se cree la última Coca Cola del desierto.

He/She thinks they are the last Coca-Cola in the desert. A third-degree burn, this little gem calls out people who think they are more attractive or desirable than everyone else.

13. Se cree mejor de la bolita del mundo.

He/She thinks they are the best in the world. The exact translation fails to convey the hilarity of this saying. While also a diss to those who think they are hot stuff, the saying reduces the entire planet into a tiny, little ball.

14. Se fue de Guatemala a Guata-peor!

This a saying that relies on a play on words, mala meaning bad, and peor meaning worse. The idea is that the person went from one bad situation to an even worse situation.

15. Cuando tu ibas, yo venia.

When you were coming, I was leaving. A great diss from an elder, this dicho also conveys a knowing that comes with age. It works particularly well when directed at teenagers who attempt to be deceptive but are really transparent. 

For the Nostalgia and the LOLs

Credit: Ashley Whitlatch / Unsplash

16. Quien fue a Sevilla, perdió su silla.

Who went to Sevilla lost his/her chair. Here is a fun phrase that relies on wordplay and rhyme. 

17. Tirar las puertas por las ventanas.

Throw the doors out the windows. This is what you say when you plan to have an absolute blow out party! Think of New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo, or birthdays.

18. Vete a freír papas.

Go fry potatoes. While this saying may seem like an insult, it works as a playful way to tell someone to go to hell without sounding so vulgar.

19. Por si las moscas.

For if the flies. This is more of a nostalgic phrase that means ‘just in case.’ Use it when deciding on whether or not to pack that snack bar or an umbrella. 

20. Calabaza, calabaza, todo el mundo para su casa!

Pumpkin, pumpkin, everyone go home! Our final phrase is a fun way to end the fiesta, or bring the gathering to a close.

READ: 13 Mexican Sayings that Sound Really Weird When They’re Translated Literally

There Are Few Things Latinos Love In This World More Than Vaporú And There’s Good Reason For It

Culture

There Are Few Things Latinos Love In This World More Than Vaporú And There’s Good Reason For It

mitú

You know how *some* folks say there is no magic cure or magic pill you can take to ease life’s worries? They’re just missing out on the opioid for the Latinx masses: Vicks Vaporub (or, as our mamis call it, Vaporú). Just knowing that Vicks exists is a comfort to end all worries in our lives. Growing up Latino means being perpetually fear-mongered into thinking you’ll catch pneumonia if you leave the house without a sweater and doing it anyway because of Vicks.

All those memories of our abuelas and mamas rubbing Vicks on our bruises, mosquito bites and more are made more magical by the song they sang to us while they healed us: “Sana, sana, colita de rana.” Maybe the magic of Vicks is the “Sana, sana.” Who can say? All we know is that combined, it can cure anything. Hence, the idolization of medicine for Latinos:

1. Vicks can cure insomnia, so why not sleep on a Vicks-inspired pillow?

Credit: mitú

The Barrio Shop sells this multi-use pillow for just $24.99. Rub Vicks under your nose and fall asleep to the eucalyptus smell that has been proven to help with sleep in children. 

2. Vicks also cures all emotional pain. Going through a breakup? Apply Vicks to it and continue to cry into this pillow.

Credit: mitú

It comes with the pillow inside, but you can take off the case and wash it after a night of crying all over it. Todo bien.

3. Latinos have reliably used Vicks to induce crying for manipulative gain.

Credit: @AlvarezCa_ / Twitter

Vicks not only cures emotional pain, but it can also help you fake it. Everyone knows that novela stars would rub Vicks under their eyes before a dramatic scene because the fumes are so intense, it makes your eyes water. Everyone also knows that every Latino child has used the same method to fake a crying spell to get what we want. We’re evil geniuses like that, gracias a Vaporú.

4. We all know that just having Vicks on our person at all times is like the evil eye to injuries.

Credit: mitú

Making sure you have a tiny tube on hand helps ward off injuries. Plus, we’re ready for any bruise, blunt force trauma or freak accident, thanks to that tiny, pungent tube. Carrying mitú’s Sana Sana pin has the same warding-off properties.

5. Latinos also know not to go afuera during mosquito season without Vicks slathered all over our bodies.

Credit: @bzz_mosquitos / Twitter

Is it the smell that wards mosquitos away? We don’t know. All we know is if you get bit by a demonic mosquito that is unaffected by the holiness of Vicks, you can just rub Vicks on the bite, too, and it will cure it.

6. We also grew up laughing at expensive acne-clearing brands because Vicks could cure that anyway.

Credit: mitú

Doctors don’t advise it, but they actually don’t advise using Vicks for anything other than cough suppressant and aching joints. Puesss, what do they know?

7. Latinos grow up to be medical professionals that also swear by Vicks.

Credit: mitú

Honestly, as a patient, seeing that pin would just bestow approximately 1400 percent more trust in my medical provider. Like, I don’t want to hear about how Vicks is destroying my sense of smell or that I can’t rub it on my throat for a sore throat. 

8. Instead of being cranky about a cafecito-withdrawal headache, we make more cafecito and rub Vicks into our temples.

Credit: mitú

Latinos’ relationship with cafecito is a whole other story. Por cierto, blessing your forehead with the panacea of Vicks cures us of our headaches every time. And yes, we’re better for it.

9. Who needs an expensive podiatrist to cure foot fungus when we have Vicks?

Credit: @Gardenbella / Twitter

It’s hard to say whether we generally have fungus-free feet or not given that we’re never allowed to walk around barefoot, but the story goes that Vicks will cure toe fungus. The moms all say that the gel “suffocates” the fungus and it dies. Gross, but at least our feet smell great.

10. Vicks has also made Latina moms straight-up superheroes.

Credit: @ispeakcomedy / Twitter

Wow. It must be hard for other moms to not Latina-mom levels of confidence, sponsored by Vicks Vaporub. [This post is not sponsored by Vicks Vaporub].

11. Dare we say that Vicks offers, a menos, a placebo effect to our kind?

Credit: mitú

Doctors have come out warning the Latino community that Vicks can actually worsen sunburns, acne and open, bleeding wounds. All we know is that our people are suffering less with Vicks in our lives, and pinned to our jackets, and that’s got to make us more fun to be around. :’)