entertainment

Every Latino Can Relate To The Fear Of Cascarones While Celebrating One Of The Holiest Days

Even if your parents aren’t that religious, we can all remember our abuelitas coming home from mass to spritz holy water in our faces. My abuela had an entire altar in her spare closet complete with statues of Saints, bowls of holy water and velas going 24/7. It was a fire hazard.

Needless to say, if you grew up Catholic, every day was an opportunity to go to church or thank Dios, but no day was as holy as Easter. From the forty days leading up to it down to the very day, welcome to walk down memory lane:

You spent the entire week leading up to Easter (La Semana Santa) going to church every day.

CREDIT: @JennyAxtell / Twitter

Even if your family hadn’t been to church since last Christmas, this was the week that your family could be cleansed of all their sins. Pray hard this week and it counts double.

When you were a kid, you went to the church basement halfway through mass to be thoroughly creeped out.

CREDIT: @SenameOhiggins / Twitter

There may be a home video recording of you telling the Easter Bunny que “eres sucio.” Maybe that’s just me, too. 😉

Everyone and their tía came home with one of these Palm crosses.

CREDIT: @GalatiLoredana / Twitter

As a kid, once they started passing these out at Palm Sunday mass, you knew some yummy dulces were coming your way in just a few days. My abuela would make a dozen of these and pass them out.

You might even tune into EWTN to see El Papa give the holy mass.

CREDIT: @AlvarodeJuana_ / Twitter

You had to go fetch tissues for your abuela and kneel on your living room floor just like it was the real thing. Tuning in for Semana Santa masses was always a somber occasion.

Even though Good Friday was the one day a year there was no Mass, you still had to go to the neighborhood reenactment.

CREDIT: @itemlive / Twitter

Yes, it was always pretty disturbing as a kid. This is why it’s so easy for our mami’s to guilt trip us into doing or wearing anything. The Catholic guilty conscience starts with the Good Friday plays.

If you ever had an Easter egg hunt, it only had rosary beads inside.

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They’d be extra special if your nana made it for you with your name inscribed. Some easter eggs had little vials of holy water or a tiny cross made of olive wood made in Bethlehem.

You may have made cascarones as a kid.

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The best part is after you’ve drained the eggs, dyed them and filled them with confetti. Throwing them at your siblings or papa might have been the most fun part of Easter.

It was the only time you could lay in the grass with your nice clothes.

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It was also that one day of the year you wore the nice dress your mom kept hanging with a garbage bag over it. You wore it every single year until it became too short for church and then your little prima wore it.

And your mom pulled out her chocolate bunny molds.

CREDIT: @dulcepasionchile / Instagram

Maybe it was just me, but our kitchen would be lined up with plastic molds of eggs, Easter bunnies, and angels that would be filled with melted chocolate. My mom made chocolate pops out of them and it was magical.

It was just extra magical time.

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…that our parents exploited to get us to se portan bien por Dios. Does lying to children count as a sin?

It also meant the whole family came together to go to the beach after Sunday Mass.

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Or Saturday–the actual day of rest from going to Mass that whole week. Usually, though, your schedule revolved around all the prep time our poor moms spent in the kitchen to prepare for Easter.

As adults, Easter means your tía sending this photo to the group text:

CREDIT: @MarRive56210461 / Twitter

More likely it’s a bloody image of Christ dying for our sins. The guilt trip never ends, my friends.

Like any family event, you can expect someone to ask you when you’re getting married.

CREDIT: @DiscreetLatino / Twitter

If your family is extra religious, you’ll hear the chismosas gossiping about whether or not you gave your “V card” away. Ya no puedo.

Today, Easter means looking forward to all the tasty grub, like bacaláo.

CREDIT: @glutoniana_ / Instagram

Yes, we’ve been eating fish for the last forty days, but some of us celebrated the miracle of Jesus’ baskets of fish one last time for the year with fried codfish.

Others go full lechón to celebrate the end of the meat fast.

CREDIT: @domingosantomx / Instagram

Typically, Catholics will fast from meat, ranging from the entire Lenten season to just Fridays to every day but Sunday. My family went with every day but Sunday. Comment with your family traditions below!

Claro, there’s the Pan de Pascua.

CREDIT: @pastrychefmile / Instagram

It’s not just any ordinary fruit cake. It’s only brought out on the holiest occasions, gaining more popularity at Christmas than the traditional Easter holiday.

If you’re like me and my hermanos, adulting means faking it.

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We’ve all tried to assert our spiritual or non-spiritual beliefs and pass on going to Mass, but nobody wants to make their mom cry. Fake it till you make it, they say.

Maybe you still give something up for Lent?

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There’s something to be said for the meaning of tradition. It feels good to do something with your family, even if it’s effectively a group diet. It still means something.

And today, we get to see our sobrinos in the cutest outfits.

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It looks like they’re getting more comfortable with every generation, gracias a Dios. As adults, it’s amazing to go full circle and help make Easter special for the young ones.

And dress our baby hijos in their own Easter Bunny outfits.

CREDIT: @sereba / Instagram

“Que preciosa, mi muñeca linda! Que Dios te bendiga y te quiero mucho, mi amor!”

Tell me you haven’t said this to your dog and prove that we’re not all our parents when it comes to our dogs. 🐰

READ: Cascarones: the Confetti-filled Eggs That Make Easter the Most Colorful Fiesta of the Year

Oscar Isaac Is Gomez Addams But Fans Are Upset That The Character Isn't As Sexy As The Actor

Entertainment

Oscar Isaac Is Gomez Addams But Fans Are Upset That The Character Isn’t As Sexy As The Actor

geektyrant.com

Ever since it’s been announced that our beloved Oscar Isaac would be the voice of Gomez Addams in the animated remake of The Addams Family, set to be released this Halloween, we’ve been in an uproar. Since the cult classic 1991 feature film, we’ve all dressed up as Wednesday Addams for Halloween, and have been thirsting for more content.

The 2019 animated film will give us Academy Award-winning Charlize Theron to play Morticia, Chloe Grace Moretz to play Wednesday and Finn Wolfhard to play her brother, Pugsley. Here’s what else we know.

Everyone is pointing out that Oscar Isaac has been in cosplay all along.

CREDIT: @tokenscorpio / Twitter

No, this is not a promotional shot of Oscar Isaac. This is just pure Oscar channeling Gomez all his life.

Unfortunately, Oscar’s animated self has no real resemblance.

CREDIT: @IndieWire / Twitter

The Twitterverse is upset about this fact. We all stan a goth Charlize Theron, but one Twitter user complained that they wished Gomez was at least “hot.” Friendly reminder that this is a cartoon, gente.

This isn’t the Gomez Addams we know.

CREDIT: @Druiddan3 / Twitter

We validate your frustrations. But before you go public, here’s a family history lesson.

As big of a sex icon that Oscar Isaac is in all our hearts and minds, animators were not going for an Oscar Isaac likeness in Gomez.

CREDIT: @grimescallies / Instagram

When you typically think of the Addams’, you imagine the 1991 feature film The Addams Family, featuring Raúl Juliá. Few people think of the original comic strip and original comic Gomez that is being recreated.

That said, fans are calling for another live action so we can see Oscar Isaac in all his glory.

CREDIT: @RachelLeishman / Twitter

Yes, it’s disappointing that we won’t be able to admire Oscar in all his glory for the hour and change you’ll be watching this film.

But, coño, welcome to the Oscar Isaac Appreciation post you wanted.

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Let us help guide you past the point of pure objectification of the objectively smokin’ actor. Get to know a guy a little.

Isaac’s full name is Óscar Isaac Hernández Estrada.

CREDIT: @oscarisaac / Twitter

“All [casting directors] would see me for was ‘the gangster’ or whatever, so I was like, ‘Well, let me see if this helps,'” he told Esquire of his name change. His father’s side has Jewish ancestry, which is honored in his middle name, Isaac. Once people started assuming he was Jewish, directors even passed on him for Latino roles. 🤦‍♂️

He is half Cuban and half Guatemalan.

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His mother, María Eugenia Estrada, was Guatemalan. His Cuban father, Óscar Gonzalo Hernández-Cano, was a pulmonologist. Today, his sister is a climate scientist.

Isaac was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala.

CREDIT: @morganbaila / Twitter

When he was five years old, the family moved to Miami for a better life. He’s so Miami, he even went to Miami Dade for some of his college. If you’re Miami, you know.

Today, the actor is 40 years old.

CREDIT: @oscarisaacfandom / Instagram

This Latino stereotype we see to be true: we just keep getting better with age.

Isaac was expelled from his Christian school in 7th grade.

CREDIT: @oscarisaac / Twitter

Isaac told Details the likely reasons he was expelled: “I sprayed a fire extinguisher in the gym and defaced a mural. Wrote curse words on all the stairs up to the library, like s**tf**ka**, all the way to the top step. Yeah, it was just stupid, stupid.”

He was raised in a strictly Evangelical Christian household.

CREDIT: @La_Ney_sha / Twitter

He told Rolling Stone, “The social-conservative culture wasn’t lining up with what I was understanding Jesus was saying.” He did not see eye to eye with his parents growing up.

Which is all ironic given that his break out role was as Saint Joseph in The Nativity Scene.

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Remember that movie your dad made you all watch every Navidad since 2006? That’s courtesy of Saint Oscar Isaac himself.

He was in a bunch of punk bands in the 1990s.

CREDIT: @grimescallies / Instagram

Before he ventured out into acting, he was passionate about music. Some of the ska bands he performed with include Closet Heterosexuals, Petrified Frogs, and The Worms.

Isaac went to the prestigious Juilliard.

CREDIT: @Tribeca / Twitter

While he was performing in bands and some stage productions, he was working on his admissions requirements for Juilliard. While at the school, he was even classmates with his future co-star in A Most Violent Year, Jessica Chastain.

Isaac won his first Golden Globe for his performance in HBO’s Show Me a Hero.

CREDIT: @oscarisaacfandom / Instagram

He portrayed the youngest ever mayor of Yonkers, New York, Nick Wasicsko. Wasicsko is best known for his successful desegregation of public housing.

Isaac named his son after his mother, Eugenia.

CREDIT: @oscarisaacfandom / Instagram

He married Danish film director Elvira Lind in February 2017. In April of that year, they had their son, Eugene, together.

His first credited film role was “Pool Boy.”

CREDIT: @TopherWilborn / Twitter

This was back in 1998, well before Rolling Stone dubbed him “The Internet’s Boyfriend” in 2016. Needless to say, he’s been dubbed a sex symbol, but Isaac maintains he’s the picture of monogamy.

Isaac listed his experience as an orderly at his dad’s hospital for Juilliard.

CREDIT: @grimescallies / Instagram

He told Vice, “When I applied to Juilliard, they asked, ‘What other jobs have you done that qualifies you?’ I put the hospital down, because you get to see the extremes of humanity there—life and death.”

We cannot wait to hear his suave adoration for all things spooky as Gomez.

CREDIT: @oscarisaacfandom / Instagram

With a rap sheet like Ex Machina, A Most Violent Year, and Inside Llewyn Davis in his recent history, we hope we see Isaac scoring more roles. To this day, he won’t consider himself a “movie star.” He’s simply a devoted (successful) actor.

READ: In This Interview Oscar Isaac Addresses The Fan Theory That His ‘Star Wars’ Character Is LGBT

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