Entertainment

Salma Hayek Does ASMR With The Ghost Of Frida Kahlo And Eva Longoria Is Delighted By Sponges

The dictionary defines ASMR as “a feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.”

There are no better sounds than the voices of Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria, which is undoubtedly why W Magazine chose them as the latest celebrity installment in their ASMR series. Let me tell you… it was hilarious.

Salma opened up in Spanish with, “Hola, Como están? Tengo que se asustar porque estos microphones son may sensible.”

W Magazine / YouTube

She first whispered the place she was born and we got tingles: Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, Mexico. She also shared that “it was great growing up in this place because we all knew each other. There was a lot of great nature.”

Then she introduced the world to tostadas, as she should.

W Magazine / YouTube

We want to give a round of applause to Hayek for bringing the right kind of tostada to the party. 👏 👏 👏 👏 

The internet was weeping in gratitude over the video. 😭🙏

@visionofselena / Twitter

We’re not worthy. At the same time, Salma is giving us what we deserve.

Then she talked about “some people.”

W Magazine / YouTube

We’re those people, Salma. We are all about saving money and sneaking your snacks into the theater is all a part of saving that cash. Don’t tell me you’re a Latino whose mother hasn’t smuggled in food to the movie theater. Good one, Salma. 😂

Salma craved for guacamole in ASMR.

W Magazine / YouTube

The crunch crunch of Salma eating a tostada sounds so much more beautiful than my crunch crunch, you guys. It’s truly a lullaby.

Then she rolled her eyes at even admitting that tostadas are gluten-free.

W Magazine / YouTube

We don’t know where this came from. We want to know the full story of how Salma came to resent, and also feel personally obligated to announce that tostadas are gluten-free.

At this point, we’re all in awe.

@itsleslieson / Twitter

The next time I have tostadas, it will feel like an entirely new, rich experience in which my soul is bound to Salma’s. Crunch, crunch.

One Latina actually tried to emulate Salma and couldn’t get through a single sentence. 😂

I guess it’s a lot harder to be Salma than it looks. Also, wow, mil gracias, April.

Salma has given us something we can actually rely on in this life.

@colormejorge / Twitter

That is the purest form of lullaby that has been passed down, generation to generation. Mamis crunching away at tostadas.

Then, she educated us on the pain and joy of Frida Kahlo.

W Magazine / YouTube

She whispered into the microphone, “Once in this lifetime, I got to be Frida Kahlo. She was a Mexican surrealist artist. She said she painted her pain but she painted it with so much joy… because it’s full of colors in her art.”

Then Salma showed us her art and we have questions.

W Magazine / YouTube

Why is there no color in her art? Is it because Salma doesn’t have joy right now? By the expression on her face, that could be true. Or we’ll never know the depths of Salma’s artistic expression.

Salma swears Frida Kahlo is haunting her, you guys.

W Magazine / YouTube

The microphones pick up all sorts of sounds, including footsteps from up above. 👻 

Salma finishes up by shuffling some cards and alluding to a future career in Vegas.

“I’m too young to be a dancer,” she whispers us to sleep. But she swears she could become a card dealer.

Watch the whole video for yourself.

But don’t go anywhere yet. You haven’t seen Eva Longoria tickled by sponges since Desperate Housewives.

W Magazine‘s video with Eva Longoria is the least serious ASMR video we’ve seen.

W Magazine / YouTube

It really is just Eva being delighted and bored and goofing around some high tech microphones. She especially loved the sponges.

One fan put it perfectly: “she was just the cutest lil thing.”

@regina_mea / Twitter

You might not be able to fall asleep to the video. It’s just too entertaining to make your brain relax, but it’s worth a watch.

After Eva sets down the sponges, she opens a bag of Skinny Pop popcorn.

W Magazine / YouTube

“It actually tastes like a skinny girl thing,” she whispers. “It’s not very good.” Hot take from Eva on Skinny Pop popcorn right here.

Then Eva excitedly picks up a towel.

W Magazine / YouTube

Swear up and down, Eva rubbing a towel sounds like a cat purring. You have to listen to feel the tingle.

Then she starts making bread like a cat.

W Magazine / YouTube

I don’t know that Eva ever buried her child self. She’s having fun in everyday things, like ASMR videos with W Magazine.

And she’s keeping it real.

W Magazine / YouTube

Thank you for your service Eva. She immediately goes back to playing with the sponges and zooming them around like airplanes. 😂

You have to see childlike Eva to believe it.

No ASMR experts have testified to the quality of ASMR gifted to us by Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria. If you want to hear what experts call a “near perfect” ASMR experience, give a listen to Cardi B.

READ: Here’s How Cardi B Managed To Pull Off The Most Perfect ASMR Video

Woman Who Falsely Identified Herself As A Police Officer Tried To Intimidate Latinas Playing At Park

Things That Matter

Woman Who Falsely Identified Herself As A Police Officer Tried To Intimidate Latinas Playing At Park

With one viral video, Public Park Penelope has been born, mi gente. 

A viral video posted to Twitter earlier this week shows a white woman berating and harassing a group of young Latinas who were playing in a public park in Texas. In the video the woman can be seen verbally harassing and cursing at a group of young girls who had simply been enjoying themselves at a public park earlier this week.

During her tirade, the woman falsely identified herself as a Fort Worth police officer, which has since launched a police investigation and conversations about the use of police as a threat against people of color.

The woman was filmed forcing the group of girls out of the park during a one-minute recorded video.

In the video, the woman can be seen confronting a group of girls who were playing on a large swing in the park and yelling at them to leave.

 “Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop It’s a children’s park. Stop now,” the unidentified woman yells before grabbing hold of the swing set the girls were on. The girl who had been on the swing calmly replied that they “are children,” and another off-screen replied “hell no,” to the woman’s aggressive behavior. 

Soon enough, the woman launched into a stream of expletives. “No you’re not,” the woman yelled. “Okay well I’m a f******* PD, so get the F**** out of here now if you’re not here to play as a child.”

After the girl who had been on the swing replied that she was fifteen-years-old, the unidentified woman launched into another rant. “You’re not a f–king child. Thirteen or younger,” the woman yells in the video. “You provoked yourself as a child, and you’re not. I can literally arrest you as a f–king adult. Which is your choice? Are you a child or a goddamn adult? Go. Get out of here.”

According to Remezcla, an article published by the local newspaper Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported that Dream Park is “an inclusive park that accommodates children of all ages.”

On Wednesday, the Forth Worth Police tweeted that the woman in the video is not a police officer in their department which contradicted her claims.

“We have received numerous mentions & messages regarding a woman in a park claiming to be “PD” & using vulgar & inappropriate language toward youth & children. She does NOT appear to be a #FortWorth police officer,” the department said.

On Thursday, the Forth Worth Police released another statement that they had confirmed that the woman is not an officer in their department and that she is instead a local resident.

According to the Forth Worth Police, the incident has sparked an investigation in their department for “several potential criminal charges, including impersonating a public servant and disorderly conduct.”

In either case, what is truly disturbing about this video is the way in which a grown adult manically and verbally attacked a group of young girls for simply having fun in public space where such type of play is encouraged. 

Public Park Penelope might not have called the police but her actions are extremely similar to the trend of videos that went viral last year of white people using the police to scare off people of color. 

While the unidentified woman at the park did not call the police, she did use the enforcement and threat of the police to achieve a goal of getting the girls away from the park. Her actions are not unlike the many episodes and events similar to these that people encounter while being Black or Brown in the United States. 

Throughout the spring and summer of 2018, POC captured national attention when they began holding white people accountable for using the very real threat of police against them in situations that were blown out of proportion. The videos put a blast on the racial targeting of POC by white people who had called the police in moments they claimed to have felt “scared” “uncomfortable” or “threatened” by the presence of Black or brown people. From the trend, Permit Patty, ID Adam, BBQ Betty And Pool Patrol Paula were born. The incidents highlighted the various mundane things that can spark a police confrontation when Black people are out and about in their community.  While the occurrence of such videos have slowed down, it appears the use of police as a threat against POC remains alive and well.

Dad Shaves Baby’s Head While Mom Was Sleeping And We Think A Latina Abuelita Had Something To Do With It

Culture

Dad Shaves Baby’s Head While Mom Was Sleeping And We Think A Latina Abuelita Had Something To Do With It

@jasmin_valero / Twitter

Dads, you have to love them, especially when they’re left to rule the house when mom’s away. While they generally try their hardest, some dads can be big kids and the house will essentially remain unsupervised by a responsible adult. This mom learned that the hard way after she handed over the torch of responsibility to dad while she took a little nap. She woke up to find that dad had shaved off the baby’s hair and her reaction is priceless.

This video proves that sometimes you just can’t trust a Latino dad alone with the children.

New mom Jasmin Aileen Valero, wanted to catch up on some sleep after the exhausting task of taking care of her newborn baby. Dad, Joshua Luevanoz, was entrusted with watching over baby Jazlyn, while mom took a little nap. To Jasmin’s surprise, she woke up to find out that dad had shaved Jazlin’s entire head of hair, leaving their newborn looking like a little diaper-wearing kiwi.

Mom clearly didn’t expect to wake up to such a surprise. Suffice it to say, she wasn’t happy.

Credit: @jasmin_valero / Twitter

The Californian family shared the video of Jasmin being given the shock of a lifetime and the internet loved it, except for a few viewers going as far as to call it ‘child abuse.’

Jasmin had only just woke up when Joshua handed her the baby and began filming. Next thing you know, he’s pulling a little blanket off Jazlyn’s head to reveal their newly bald baby. Jasmin’s reaction is one of true surprise or horror if you will. “Why’d you do that?” she asks holding back shocked laughter and tears. Many news outlets have reported that dad shaved the baby’s head as a prank. But if you grew up Latino, you know that in a Latino household, shaving a baby’s head is no prank, it’s serious business and there’s bound to be a group of elders putting pressure on the new parents to rid the child of his or her hair, for the sake of tradition. 

 Behind every bald baby, there’s an Abuelita or tía telling new parents everything about the millenary tradition of shaving the baby’s head.

Credit: @planetamama / Twitter

“Is shaving the newborn baby’s hair necessary for his hair to grow stronger?” 

The Latino tradition of shaving the baby’s hair is true and old. Many call it: pelar, rapar, rasurar or afeitar al bebé. It’s a tradition widely spread throughout many Hispanic countries. I can confirm that it’s a common practice in Venezuela, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Spain, Ecuador, and Mexico. Why do crazy moms, abuelas —and unsuspecting dads as it turns out shave the baby’s hair? According to tradition, the new hair will grow thicker, more evenly, and beautiful. 

Experts explain that shaving a baby’s hair will not make it thicker or change its texture. Baby hair changes depend on the normal development of the child, and his or her genetic make-up. Where this tradition started, I wouldn’t know, trying to find out would be like trying to trace back the origin of ‘el cucuy, ‘nobody knows, it’s just been a tradition for centuries and centuries. There’s no information explaining where we picked up this idea from. But it is, unfortunately for this mom, still a very common practice. 

Latinos aren’t the only peoples who shave off little innocent babies’ heads. Muslims do it too, perhaps this is where the tradition started?

Credit: @hztweets / Twitter

Surprisingly, Latinos aren’t the only people who believe in this magic capillary legend. Shaving the baby’s head on his seventh day on earth is a common practice amongst Sunnah Islamic followers. They believe that only boys should have their heads shaved as “a means to drive them closer to Allaah.” If we keep in mind that many Latino traditions originate from Spain, which was occupied by Muslims for centuries, maybe that has something to do with how all the shaving started.

READ: These Two ‘Traditions’ Seem To Only Be Normal To Latinos