Salma Hayek Does ASMR With The Ghost Of Frida Kahlo And Eva Longoria Is Delighted By Sponges
The dictionary defines ASMR as “a feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.”
There are no better sounds than the voices of Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria, which is undoubtedly why W Magazine chose them as the latest celebrity installment in their ASMR series. Let me tell you… it was hilarious.
Salma opened up in Spanish with, “Hola, Como están? Tengo que se asustar porque estos microphones son may sensible.”
She first whispered the place she was born and we got tingles: Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, Mexico. She also shared that “it was great growing up in this place because we all knew each other. There was a lot of great nature.”
Then she introduced the world to tostadas, as she should.
We want to give a round of applause to Hayek for bringing the right kind of tostada to the party. ???? ???? ???? ????
The internet was weeping in gratitude over the video. ????????
We’re not worthy. At the same time, Salma is giving us what we deserve.
Then she talked about “some people.”
We’re those people, Salma. We are all about saving money and sneaking your snacks into the theater is all a part of saving that cash. Don’t tell me you’re a Latino whose mother hasn’t smuggled in food to the movie theater. Good one, Salma. ????
Salma craved for guacamole in ASMR.
The crunch crunch of Salma eating a tostada sounds so much more beautiful than my crunch crunch, you guys. It’s truly a lullaby.
Then she rolled her eyes at even admitting that tostadas are gluten-free.
We don’t know where this came from. We want to know the full story of how Salma came to resent, and also feel personally obligated to announce that tostadas are gluten-free.
At this point, we’re all in awe.
The next time I have tostadas, it will feel like an entirely new, rich experience in which my soul is bound to Salma’s. Crunch, crunch.
One Latina actually tried to emulate Salma and couldn’t get through a single sentence. ????
I guess it’s a lot harder to be Salma than it looks. Also, wow, mil gracias, April.
Salma has given us something we can actually rely on in this life.
That is the purest form of lullaby that has been passed down, generation to generation. Mamis crunching away at tostadas.
Then, she educated us on the pain and joy of Frida Kahlo.
She whispered into the microphone, “Once in this lifetime, I got to be Frida Kahlo. She was a Mexican surrealist artist. She said she painted her pain but she painted it with so much joy… because it’s full of colors in her art.”
Then Salma showed us her art and we have questions.
Why is there no color in her art? Is it because Salma doesn’t have joy right now? By the expression on her face, that could be true. Or we’ll never know the depths of Salma’s artistic expression.
Salma swears Frida Kahlo is haunting her, you guys.
The microphones pick up all sorts of sounds, including footsteps from up above. ????
Salma finishes up by shuffling some cards and alluding to a future career in Vegas.
“I’m too young to be a dancer,” she whispers us to sleep. But she swears she could become a card dealer.
Watch the whole video for yourself.
But don’t go anywhere yet. You haven’t seen Eva Longoria tickled by sponges since Desperate Housewives.
W Magazine‘s video with Eva Longoria is the least serious ASMR video we’ve seen.
It really is just Eva being delighted and bored and goofing around some high tech microphones. She especially loved the sponges.
One fan put it perfectly: “she was just the cutest lil thing.”
You might not be able to fall asleep to the video. It’s just too entertaining to make your brain relax, but it’s worth a watch.
After Eva sets down the sponges, she opens a bag of Skinny Pop popcorn.
“It actually tastes like a skinny girl thing,” she whispers. “It’s not very good.” Hot take from Eva on Skinny Pop popcorn right here.
Then Eva excitedly picks up a towel.
Swear up and down, Eva rubbing a towel sounds like a cat purring. You have to listen to feel the tingle.
Then she starts making bread like a cat.
I don’t know that Eva ever buried her child self. She’s having fun in everyday things, like ASMR videos with W Magazine.
And she’s keeping it real.
Thank you for your service Eva. She immediately goes back to playing with the sponges and zooming them around like airplanes. ????
You have to see childlike Eva to believe it.
No ASMR experts have testified to the quality of ASMR gifted to us by Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria. If you want to hear what experts call a “near perfect” ASMR experience, give a listen to Cardi B.