Entertainment

Salma Hayek Does ASMR With The Ghost Of Frida Kahlo And Eva Longoria Is Delighted By Sponges

W Magazine / YouTube

The dictionary defines ASMR as “a feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.”

There are no better sounds than the voices of Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria, which is undoubtedly why W Magazine chose them as the latest celebrity installment in their ASMR series. Let me tell you… it was hilarious.

Salma opened up in Spanish with, “Hola, Como están? Tengo que se asustar porque estos microphones son may sensible.”

W Magazine / YouTube

She first whispered the place she was born and we got tingles: Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, Mexico. She also shared that “it was great growing up in this place because we all knew each other. There was a lot of great nature.”

Then she introduced the world to tostadas, as she should.

W Magazine / YouTube

We want to give a round of applause to Hayek for bringing the right kind of tostada to the party. 👏 👏 👏 👏 

The internet was weeping in gratitude over the video. 😭🙏

@visionofselena / Twitter

We’re not worthy. At the same time, Salma is giving us what we deserve.

Then she talked about “some people.”

W Magazine / YouTube

We’re those people, Salma. We are all about saving money and sneaking your snacks into the theater is all a part of saving that cash. Don’t tell me you’re a Latino whose mother hasn’t smuggled in food to the movie theater. Good one, Salma. 😂

Salma craved for guacamole in ASMR.

W Magazine / YouTube

The crunch crunch of Salma eating a tostada sounds so much more beautiful than my crunch crunch, you guys. It’s truly a lullaby.

Then she rolled her eyes at even admitting that tostadas are gluten-free.

W Magazine / YouTube

We don’t know where this came from. We want to know the full story of how Salma came to resent, and also feel personally obligated to announce that tostadas are gluten-free.

At this point, we’re all in awe.

@itsleslieson / Twitter

The next time I have tostadas, it will feel like an entirely new, rich experience in which my soul is bound to Salma’s. Crunch, crunch.

One Latina actually tried to emulate Salma and couldn’t get through a single sentence. 😂

I guess it’s a lot harder to be Salma than it looks. Also, wow, mil gracias, April.

Salma has given us something we can actually rely on in this life.

@colormejorge / Twitter

That is the purest form of lullaby that has been passed down, generation to generation. Mamis crunching away at tostadas.

Then, she educated us on the pain and joy of Frida Kahlo.

W Magazine / YouTube

She whispered into the microphone, “Once in this lifetime, I got to be Frida Kahlo. She was a Mexican surrealist artist. She said she painted her pain but she painted it with so much joy… because it’s full of colors in her art.”

Then Salma showed us her art and we have questions.

W Magazine / YouTube

Why is there no color in her art? Is it because Salma doesn’t have joy right now? By the expression on her face, that could be true. Or we’ll never know the depths of Salma’s artistic expression.

Salma swears Frida Kahlo is haunting her, you guys.

W Magazine / YouTube

The microphones pick up all sorts of sounds, including footsteps from up above. 👻 

Salma finishes up by shuffling some cards and alluding to a future career in Vegas.

“I’m too young to be a dancer,” she whispers us to sleep. But she swears she could become a card dealer.

Watch the whole video for yourself.

But don’t go anywhere yet. You haven’t seen Eva Longoria tickled by sponges since Desperate Housewives.

W Magazine‘s video with Eva Longoria is the least serious ASMR video we’ve seen.

W Magazine / YouTube

It really is just Eva being delighted and bored and goofing around some high tech microphones. She especially loved the sponges.

One fan put it perfectly: “she was just the cutest lil thing.”

@regina_mea / Twitter

You might not be able to fall asleep to the video. It’s just too entertaining to make your brain relax, but it’s worth a watch.

After Eva sets down the sponges, she opens a bag of Skinny Pop popcorn.

W Magazine / YouTube

“It actually tastes like a skinny girl thing,” she whispers. “It’s not very good.” Hot take from Eva on Skinny Pop popcorn right here.

Then Eva excitedly picks up a towel.

W Magazine / YouTube

Swear up and down, Eva rubbing a towel sounds like a cat purring. You have to listen to feel the tingle.

Then she starts making bread like a cat.

W Magazine / YouTube

I don’t know that Eva ever buried her child self. She’s having fun in everyday things, like ASMR videos with W Magazine.

And she’s keeping it real.

W Magazine / YouTube

Thank you for your service Eva. She immediately goes back to playing with the sponges and zooming them around like airplanes. 😂

You have to see childlike Eva to believe it.

No ASMR experts have testified to the quality of ASMR gifted to us by Salma Hayek and Eva Longoria. If you want to hear what experts call a “near perfect” ASMR experience, give a listen to Cardi B.

READ: Here’s How Cardi B Managed To Pull Off The Most Perfect ASMR Video

This Latina Mom Forces Dog To Pick Up Its Own Poop

Culture

This Latina Mom Forces Dog To Pick Up Its Own Poop

@raquel___r / Twitter

Latina moms aren’t about animal life. They’ve told you a million times, why would they want an animal in the house who will undoubtedly destroy the yard, poop all over the place, and ultimately end up having to clean up after them? Because as much as you declare that you will clean up after the pet, you never actually get around to doing it. It makes no sense for an animal to take up space, be a burden on the household, and cost extra money that you don’t have. Yes, we know, no pets in the house. We also know that moms have a sweet spot for the vulnerable. So let’s just say you bring a dog or cat home, there’s no way in hell your mom will throw it out on the street (we hope not anyway). They will, however, demand, the house remains clean at all times no matter what. Case in point.

This little doggy named Maxie accidentally left his poop on the couch and mama was not too pleased.

Credit: @raquel___r / Twitter

Her daughter Raquel caught the whole thing on her cell and her mom is going off on their dog Maxie. “Para que no lo vuela hacer,” she said as she’s making the dog pick up paper towels with both paws and carefully pick up the poop without ever once getting it on her own hands. So brilliant, and yet how did she manage to do that? We’re so impressed.

You can hear Raquel laughing the entire time, and the mom proclaims that Maxie the dog can’t even bear to look at his own poop. 

Credit: @raquel___r / Twitter

Poor Maxie looks ashamed as he’s being dragged to the bathroom. Yes, she took the dog to the bathroom so he could flush it down the toilet. “Cochino” she tells Maxie. “And don’t do that again!”

This wasn’t the first time Maxie got in trouble for making a mess. A while ago he got reprimanded for tearing up tissue and leaving it all over the place.

Credit: @raquel___r / Twitter

“I’ve had enough with you,” she tells Maxie, and once again makes him grab his own mess, with her help of course. Maxie again looks guilty as charged and won’t look at the trash but understands what he did wrong. 

People on social media could relate to poor Maxie because their moms forced their dog to clean up their mess too! We had no idea this was a thing.

Credit: @jackienaomi / Twitter

Now that we’ve seen at least two dogs forced to pick up after themselves, it doesn’t look too hard. 

This dog had it rough though. 

Credit: @ssambenitezz / Twitter

“You don’t do that!” mom tells the dog. We think he learned his lesson, however, that whole house looks sort of messy, so who’s really to blame?

By the way, cats can pick up stuff too.

Credit: @Gabzillaax / Twitter

So to all the moms that pretend to hate pets, we know the truth. You’re a softy!

Credit: @Gabzillaax / Twitter

That goes for dads too!

Credit: @itsyarelli / Twitter

For any kid (or adult) still living at home, if your parent says they don’t want a pet in the house, just bring it on by. They’ll be part of the family in no time. 

We do have some sad news to report. The video that Raquel posted of her dog Maxie was kind of old, and she informed her followers that Maxie died late last this year.

Credit: @raquel___r / Twitter

The video is an old video fo the little pup. While Maxie is no longer with us physically, he has made a mark on everyone who has seen the video and we have to thank him for that.

People on social media weren’t too thrilled to hear this kind of sad update.

Credit: @sealionceline / Twitter

We were surprised about this stunning news as well. 

Looks like people got attached to Maxie pretty quickly. 

Credit: @0401gisselle / Twitter

Poor little guy. Do you think the trauma of having to pick up his own poop is what made pass away?? That would be horrible and probably not something you could prove anyway. Plus, we doubt Raquel’s mom would want to know that he suffered from PTSD from mortification of having to pick up his own poop. 

We’re pretty sad about this too. 

Credit: @thechynnabee / Twitter

Oh, Maxie!!

We’ll always have these sweet memories of you having to face the humiliation of having to pick up your own poop and throw it in the toilet.

Credit: @raquel___r / Twitter

Never forget. 

READ: If You Are A Dog Lover You’ll Love This List Of The 21 Rarest Breeds Ever

Little Boy On His Way to Kindergarten Tells His Mom ‘Don’t Be Scared’

Culture

Little Boy On His Way to Kindergarten Tells His Mom ‘Don’t Be Scared’

Prepare yourself to desperately want kids if you don’t already. Possibly the cutest kid alive went to Kindergarten for the first time on Monday, and was feeling very ready. That said, his mom was far less ready to see her baby boy go off to school for the first time. So she did what any other mom would do–she asked him to “tell [her] something to help [her] feel better.” Oh, and she recorded everything and his response went viral on Twitter because it’s 2019.

Now, Twitter is begging the Universe to impregnate them so they can have a perfect muñeco lindo like this one.

“You’re going to your first day of Kindergarten.” his mom says. “How do you feel?”

Credit: @headdphanieeeee / Twitter

“Good,” he says matter of factly. “Good? You feel good?” she asks. “No,” he says. Incredulous, she double checks with her son and he answers her again, “No!” He’s not nervous, auntie.

“You’re not nervous? I’m nervous. Can you tell me something to make me feel better?”

Credit: @headdphanieeeee / Twitter

Just two weeks prior, a white supremacist drove 10 hours to El Paso, Texas to specifically target Latinos. He killed 22 people with an assault-type rifle. Everyone is scared. Except for this pequeño.

“Umm… Just please don’t be scared ’cause there’s nothing to be afraid of,” he comforts his mom. At this point, all the comments look like this: “THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I’VE SEEN.”

What the hell how is this kid 40 already?” asks one fan.

Credit: @headdphanieeeee / Twitter

Another commented, “I feel like 1 conversation with him, he can help me file my taxes, figure out why I’m depressed, tell me what foods to eat that can burn fat while I sleep and tell me the meaning of life. He GENIUS smart, I can tell. Lol”

Other parents could relate to Liz’s fears and are hoping their kid feels as confident as this little one.

Credit: @headdphanieeeee / Twitter

Another dad was commiserating with the mom’s fear, knowing he had to drop his daughter off at school soon, too. “This is awesome!” he tweeted. “Next week my baby starts kindergarten and I swear daddy is gonna be in tears to see my princess go somewhere without me being there! So I feel you on this”

His official “First Day of School” pic is even more precious. 

Credit: @ellyez42 / Instagram

Based in Fort Worth, Texas, Liz is clearly cultivating a bright kid. She captioned this photo, “So masterfully created and crafted. Wildfire-setting all things in his path ablaze.” she  An uncontrolled, genuine, grateful, innocuous, exuberant, kind, and messy version of two humans. A concoction of inquiries with very little answers, yet the burning question still rises within me…how am I so fortunate to know you? How giving Mother Earth has been for gifting us you.”

Folks have asked, “how is he so emotionally intelligent at such a young age?” Liz is raising him so, so right.

Credit: @ellyez42 / Instagram

She captioned this photo from March: “Boys will be boys, with respectful demeanors who hold the aptitude to take no for an answer.” I’m sobbing.

“Trust your offspring and they will deliver honesty,” she continues. “Remind them that it’s okay to cry, then laugh with them when the tears subside. Teach boys to water their gardens so that they can watch their flowers bloom until they are old enough to pick the right one.”

Everyone is wishing him a happy first day of school, and even offering to send him care packages.

Credit: @YatMysterio / Twitter

This new fan is just enamored with him. She tracked down Liz’s Instagram and commented, “Twitter brought me here, amazing kid with a big future ahead. Keep him protected at all cost. I don’t know of your life, but if you are a single parent. You are doing an amazing job 💙 reminds me of the bond I have with my mom. If you can send me anything he likes, books, snacks, toys. I’d love to send him a care package!

Seems like his first day might have been more boring than anticipated.

Credit: @Bjohnsxn_ / Twitter

Just 17 more years to go, pequeño! Chin up! Well, not *that* up. This kid has gotten more bendiciones in one day than most of us have had in our whole lives, so we know he’s going places. He’s been dubbed a “hero” and folks are looking to him “to do soo much in the future.”

Shoutout to this kid for giving Texas something to smile about.

Credit: @_Buhlez / Twitter

Also, Liz, can you write up a brief parenting course for everyone else out here? Brava.

READ: Bad Bunny Just Dropped a Line of Notebooks With Walmart And We are Officially Ready To Head Back To School

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