Entertainment

Season 3 Of ‘Riverdale’ Took A Crazy Turn And Here Are The Best Fan Theories About What’s Coming Next

Welcome my confused as hell compadres who are embarrassingly invested in The CW’s “Riverdale” series. If you grew up reading the Archie Comics, then we all know how the show has taken a very dark turn from the original comic book series. We started out in a murder mystery and after the last few episode premieres of season three, we have no idea what’s happened to the sweet, small town of Riverdale.

Like, is this a mashup between “Stranger Things” and “Riverdale”? Can we expect there to be a crossover between “Riverdale” and “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” later in the season, now that things have gotten supernatural? We need answers.

Spoiler alert: We’re recapping.

CREDIT: @kengicomz / Twitter

Season two ended with Archie coming head to head with the hottest Latino dad on television, Hiram Lodge. Lodge always has the check mate up his sleeve and proved it when Archie was arrested for the murder of Lodge’s own hitman. So, we all kind of expected this season to be about the trial and Veronica and Hiram’s beef. We are so very wrong.

“The Farm” seems to be a key player in upcoming plot twists.

CREDIT: @williammoalaeua / Twitter

Polly Cooper is back and she’s creepier than ever. Let us remind you that the Cooper family almost all just got murdered by Betty’s serial killer father, who turned out to be The Black Hood. So, of course someone is going to turn to Jesus. Except, for the Cooper’s, it’s someone named Neverever. K.

Baby Neverever is very clearly evil.

CREDIT: @SwamEmily / Twitter
After Betty witnessed her mother and sister drop her niece and nephew into a fire and watched them float mid-air, she conveniently and randomly had a seizure. The next episode, while Betty and Jughead are interrogating Ethel about her involvement in a very creepy supernatural game, we see the daughter of Neverever staring Ethel down until she has a seizure.
Q: Does she have the power to give people seizures?!

There’s a gargoyle king.

CREDIT: @AR_Rocket_ / Twitter

Spotted by Betty and Jughead in the woods and of course Ethel is involved. It seems like there’s some kind of next level Jumanji game of life happening that has killed two boys so far, including Dilton Doiley. It’s hard to imagine his comic book character ever getting involved in drinking kool aid around an altar with marks carved into his back, but this is the CW’s “Riverdale.”

The evolution of “Riverdale” is completely okay with us.

CREDIT: @heyitshiram / Twitter

Like, we all grew up with brujas for mothers. This is all normal. If you didn’t have a tia that practiced Santería or an altar in your closet, then are you even Latinx?

Oh, and dummy Archiekins pled guilty to a murder he didn’t commit.

CREDIT: @Pure_Fandom / Twitter

Raise your hand if you thought this trial would take up the totality of Season 3? ????????

Welp, Archie surprised everyone at the end of episode one when he accepted a plea deal on the spot to go to prison after a hung jury declared a mistrial. He said he didn’t want to put his family and friends through the process again. So now he’s in juvi.

But my question is why didn’t he think of his dog?

CREDIT: @PopBuzz / Twitter

Caption:

“what she says: i’m fine

what she means: vegas will never understand why archie isn’t coming home and archie really should have taken that into consideration before he recklessly pleaded guilty why didn’t he think of the dog why does nO ONE EVER THINK OF THE DOG #Riverdale”

All our collective anger over Archie’s extreme martyrdom is hella directed to sexy evil Papa Hiram.

CREDIT: @shanndell / Twitter

The CW took comic book Hiram’s hatred for Archie to the next level, with a whole season of storyline development. Let’s be honest, if any of our fathers had the power to frame any boy who touches his daughter for murder, he would.

His evilness has finally been confirmed by Hermione.

CREDIT: @nottodaychacha / Twitter

Caption: “Why is no one talking about Hermione telling Veronica that that she is a prisoner and that Hiram won’t hurt a hair on his daughter’s head but she can’t say the same for herself??? Come on people this is important! Also @marisolnichols did the most INCREDIBLE job we love youuu”

It’s really hard to hate such a beautiful man.

CREDIT: @Biancaspazz13 / Twitter

And here we are. Hate to love you, Mark Consuelos, pero eres un pendejo to the max in “Riverdale.” Redeem yourself please.

Nope, he won’t, because he also set off riot guards to beat up Archie right in front of Ronnie.

Ronnie showed up to prison with the Vixens to give the prison boys a pep rally.

CREDIT: @shaki_apa / Twitter

Archie tried to bring juvi boys together by offering his new shoes as a prize (because all the boys in juvi have the same shoe size). I have so many questions about why “Riverdale” writers decided to have the high school cheerleading team come and sing “Jailhouse Rock” to a bunch of kids behind bars.

Claro, we’re all here for Choni.

CREDIT: @WriterRAS / Twitter

Cheryl and Toni are the hottest couple of the entire series and I don’t care what you say about Betty and Jughead. These two are goals. Let’s never forget how Toni broke Cheryl out of a conversion therapy prison and had an iconic, gorgeous kiss in front of all the other imprisoned-by-religion gays. ????????????

Their love is already inspiring all the Halloween costumes of 2018.

CREDIT: @yadiracupcake / Twitter

Cheryl received a special, honorary red jacket and joined the Serpents after she ran away from her abusive home and saved the Serpents from the Ghoulies last season. Of course, all our moms are worried that we’ve joined a gang. Really, we’re just into a show aimed at teenagers.

But the aesthetic is too good to pass up for group costumes.

CREDIT: @YarellyNuno / Twitter

Caption: “No Serpent Stands Alone”

As a lesbian, it was very confusing to be attracted to Jughead, but now I understand that it’s because his aesthetic is lesbian vibes.

Oh, and Joaquin is back in action running the Serpent crew in Juvi.

CREDIT: @its_crazyunicor @WriterRAS / Twitter

F.P. Jones gave Archie a last minute prison tat just in case he got in so that the Serpents would protect him. Joaquin wasn’t going to make it that easy though. He directed Archie to shiv a Ghoulie to earn their protection. Archiekins refused.

So many of us are here for this crew:

CREDIT: @olivosmonse / Twitter

Like, all the hot dads of Riverdale teaming together against the Evil Hot Dad of Riverdale? This is the kind of subplot that only “Riverdale” can give us.

Let’s just accept the fact that this season is going off the rails.

CREDIT: @ronniesrainbow / Twitter

Archie isn’t hanging with the crew in his Jalopy. He’s in jail. Hermione has made it clear that we’re not looking at filicide like in season one when Jason’s killer was his own father. Ronnie is safe.

We don’t know wtf is happening but The Internet has some ideas.

A Nancy Drew Twitter user noticed the same markings carved into Dilton Doiley’s back at the water hole.

CREDIT: @ConstancaNobre / Twitter

They are also on the “Welcome to Riverdale” sign. Remember that Betty and Jughead already found the markings in “The Bunker.” We don’t know what they mean but we’re sure that Bughead are going to figure it out.

Last we heard, all the adults already know who The Gargoyle King is.

CREDIT: @urperfectmendes / Twitter

Mayor Hermione Lodge gathered FP Jones, Alice Cooper, Fred Andrews, The Sheriff, Mrs. Blossom and the ex-Mayor together. They all swore they would never speak of what happened to them during their teenage-hood again. But now their children are in danger.

We’re all shook.

One deadass fuerte theory:

CREDIT: @alicecooperisbi / Twitter

Remember when Hiram called Alice the “Acid Queen”? Remember her mugshot when it was revealed that she’s actually Southside and used to hang out with the Serpents? TBH, it’s an excellent theory and you saw it here first.

If you’re not ready for some drama, leave the “Riverdale” fan club, because it’s spilling.

CREDIT: @ChoniLodge / Twitter

Yeah, everyone could have left Mystic Falls but then we wouldn’t have had “The Vampire Diaries.” Leave “Riverdale” be. I’m here to watch this drama unfold.


READ: 25 Reasons Why Riverdale’s Camila Mendes Should Be Your #WCW

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UPS Delivery Man Is Fired After Video Surfaces of His Anti-Latino Racist Rant

Things That Matter

UPS Delivery Man Is Fired After Video Surfaces of His Anti-Latino Racist Rant

Photo courtesy Forward Latino

An unnamed UPS delivery driver has been fired after being caught using racist language when delivering a package to a Latino household. The incident occurred on December 17th.

The video, which was caught on a doorbell camera’s security footage, shows a white UPS driver appearing to be angry when delivering a package.

“Now you don’t get f—–g nothing…You can’t read and write and speak the f—–g English language,” he says while writing a “failed to deliver” notice and pasting it on the house’s front door.

The Aviles family says that the footage shows that the UPS worker never even attempted to deliver the package in the first place. He never rang the doorbell or knocked on the door. Based on that, the family has come to the conclusion that the driver intentionally withheld the package from the family out of prejudice and spite

They believe that the only way the driver could’ve known that the family was Latino was by making assumptions based off the name on the package.

“The only information this driver had that could serve as a trigger for this deep-seated hate was the name on the package,” said Forward Latino President Darryl Morin at a press conference addressing the incident.

“So what we have here is a very intentional act to ruin Christmas for somebody, for someone to spew this hateful rhetoric, and quite honestly to deceive their employer,” Morin continued.

Per UPS, the employee has now been fired. “There is no place in any community for racism, bigotry or hate. This is very serious and we promptly took action, terminating the driver’s employment. UPS is wholeheartedly committed to diversity, equity and inclusion,” UPS said in a statement. They also said they contacted the family to apologize.

But the Aviles family is still rattled that such bigoted people are out and about, letting their petty prejudices effect other people’s lives.

“The package was a Christmas gift that we eventually received after Christmas Day, but what if it happened to have time-sensitive content like an epipen or a book I needed to take a final,” said Shirley Aviles, the mother of the man who lives at the address, told NBC News. “I don’t get it. It’s just sad.”

Aviles seemed disturbed about what this incident says about human nature. “This is about the things people do when they think no one is watching them. That’s important because that’s when you see people’s true colors and that’s what’s scary,”

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Here Are Some Christmas Traditions From Around Latin America

Culture

Here Are Some Christmas Traditions From Around Latin America

Henry Sadura / Getty Images

Christmas is a special time of year. Families have their traditions to mark the festive year and some of those traditions are rooted in culture. Here are some of the ways various countries in Latin America celebrate Christmas.

El Pase Del Niño Viajero – Ecuador

El Pase del Niño Viajero is a pageant that happens in Ecuador that lasts weeks. The parade is meant to represent the journey of Mary and Joseph. The parade highlights the religious importance of Christmas in Ecuador and is most common in the Andean region of the country.

The biggest and most important parade is in Cuenca, a deeply religious city. Citizens near the city have all day to see the parade as it starts in the early morning and runs through the late afternoon. This gives people a lot of time to make it to the city to witness the parade.

La Gritería – Nicaragua

La Gritería comes after La Purisma. La Purisma is celebrated at the end of November and is meant to celebrate the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary. La Gritería is celebrated in early December and involves literal yelling. Someone would shout “Que causa tanta alegria?” (“What causes so much happiness?”) People respond “La Concepción de María.” (“Mary’s Conception.”)

Las Posadas – Mexico

Mexican posadas are the most recognizable. Posadas take place in Mexico from Dec. 16-24, though this year they are most likely to be virtual. The posada begins with a procession in the neighborhood filled with people singing and sometimes led by two people dressed as Mary and Joseph.

Another part is the posada party. Before guests can enter, there is a song exchange with the people outside playing Joseph looking for shelter. The hosts sing the side of the innkeeper saying there is no room. Eventually, the guests are welcomed into the home to celebrate Christmas.

Aguinaldos – Colombia

Aguinaldos are a series of games played by people in Colombia leading up to Christmas. There are certain games that are common among people in Colombia. One is pajita en boca, which requires holding a straw in your mouth the entire time of a social event. Another is dar y no recibir, which is about getting people to take something you are giving to score a point.

El Quema Del Diablo – Guatemala

El quema del diablo is celebrated in early December and is a way of letting go of the previous year. People burn piñatas and effigies of the devil to let go of all negative feelings and moments from the previous year. If there was every to try a new tradition, this would be the year. Burn an effigy and banish 2020 to the past, where it belongs.

READ: These Seriously Sad Christmas Presents Were Worse Than Actual Coal

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