‘Mujer Linda’ Is The ‘Pretty Woman’ Recast The World Deserves Right Now
“Pretty Woman” is one of the world’s highest grossing romantic comedies of all time. It will always have a place in our hearts with its original cast and crew, but we’ve decided to dream up who are all-star cast would be if we got an all Latino reboot. Get ready for “Mujer Linda.”
Ana de la Reguera as Vivian Ward
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The classic story of a sultry escort turned high-end girlfriend is one of America’s favorite modern fairy tales. In our reimagining of the series, there were dozens of gorgeous Latina starlets who could have made for a great Vivian, but we settled on Ana De La Reguera because of her effortless, natural charm and big, bold eyes. She looks lively while also bringing a bit of naivety, even innocence, to the role. Who would you pick for the “Mujer Linda” recast?
Gael García Bernal as Edward Lewis
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Richard Gere gave a memorable performance as Edward Lewis, but one of the sexiest Latinos in Hollywood, Gael García Bernal, could pull it off with flying colors. The “Coco”star has shown the world his range in being a smiling cad, then an honest friend and relative in the next scene. Imagine him livening up the screen with Ana De La Reguera in his arms! We can hardly imagine a cuter Latin Lover for this important role.
Javier Bardem as James Morse
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Javier Bardem looks like a smart business owner with his classy but rugged looks. In the movie, James Morse is the beleaguered owner of a shipbuilding company that Edward is trying to savagely take over. Javier already knows his way around a ship owing to his “Pirates of the Caribbean”days, so we imagine he’d do just fine helping Edward turn into a partner instead of a hostile takeover-er.
Pitbull as Philip Stuckey
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Who better than Mister Worldwide to be the baddie in this romcom recast for a Latino audience? Pitbull could be all bite as the infamous Philip Stuckey, a ruthless corporate lawyer willing to stop at nothing to get what he wants. Dalé!
Aubrey Plaza as Kit De Luca
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We just can’t get over how wonderful comedian Aubrey Plaza would be as Kit De Luca, Vivian’s wisecracking friend and mentor. The “Parks and Recreation”actress would be ripe for the recasting and just the spunk the cast would need for a Latino reboot of the classic.
Mark Consuelos as David Morse
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Ah yes – David Morse, son of James Morse, the aforementioned owner of a beleaguered shipbuilding company. Who better to play a handsome son to Javier Bardem than the striking Mark Consuelos? The “Riverdale” actor happens to look excellent in a suit, which is great for the role of David. We choose him, enthusiastically!
Eva Longoria as Elizabeth Stuckey
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Philip Stuckey’s charming and persnickety wife should be played by none other than the extravagant Eva Longoria. Her history on “Desperate Housewives” is promising and lets us know she’ll be great and stirring the pot when she gets the chance.
Ricky Martin as Barney Thompson
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Barney’s character has to have a kind of subtle magic and kindness about him, and Ricky Martin’s musical presence would make for the perfect cameo in this remake. Imagine him as the soft-hearted hotel manager that looks out for Vivian throughout it all. He would definitely support her living la vida loca.
Adriana Barraza as Bridget
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Having Adriana Barraza as the metaphorical fairy godmother who dresses Vivian for the ball would be a dream come true. Her acting chops are not to be reckoned with, and her style is Latina mom to the max. If she wasn’t in this recast, then who would be?
Eva Mendes as Susan
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Eva Mendes would be well-suited as one of Edward’s many ex-girlfriends. She shines as a natural Latina beauty and her long tresses say “I demand more!” We would celebrate her being on set in any capacity, but this one especially lights us up.
Esai Morales as Mark Roth
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Who doesn’t need a little bit more Esai Morales in their life? We think he’d make a dreamy addition as Edward’s fellow businessman at his office. He looks good in a suit, he looks good out of a suit and probably looks good in everything in between.
Diane Guerrero as Rachel
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Diane Guerrero has a lot of practice being bad in “Orange is the New Black,” and we think she’d make the perfect cameo as Vivian and Kit’s friend, Rachel. She’s got a spunky personality and a great smile, perfect for bringing the girls together after a rough day.
John Leguizamo as Hotel Night Desk Clerk
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For a little comedic relief, wouldn’t it be great to have the John Leguizamo as the Hotel Night Desk Clerk? Imagine the possibilities – clients ringing the bell only to be delivered one of his snarky wisecracks, or impossibly slow service accompanied by a lecture or a history lesson. It would be the most fun we’ve had with a hotel clerk in a while.
Jennifer Lopez as Snobbish Sales Woman in Dress Store
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Need a mean girl cameo from a classic Latina pop star? Look no further than Jennifer Lopez, or as she’s come to call herself, J.Lo. This stuck up saleswoman role is tempered by the kinder other attendants, so she’ll be the bad guy for a little bit, but admit it – don’t you love to see J.Lo be a little bad sometimes?
Antonio Banderas as Mr. Hollister, owner of the clothing store
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To offset the mean girl antics of a potential Jennifer Lopez cameo, we’ve dreamed up Antonio Banderas as Mr. Hollister, the owner of a clothing store that helps Vivian out in a few key scenes. Mr. Hollister’s grace could be matched easily by Antonio’s well-aged fashion sense.
Tony Revolori as Dennis, Hotel Elevator Operator
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If there’s going to be a hotel scene in any movie that’s recast with all Latino actors, we’re going have to demand that Tony Revolori, of “The Grand Budapest Hotel” fame, make an appearance. We need him as the calm, cool, collectebellhopop who operates the hotel while the rest of the cast entangles themselves in the usual shenanigans. We seriously love Tony Revolori in his hotel getup and are desperate to see him again.
Benicio Del Toro as the Detective
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Finally, we would put the cherry on top of this all-star Latino recast by bringing in Benicio Del Torro as the detective skulking around town, searching for any clues to further hamper the goals of our protagonists. Oddly enough, this role was originally Hank Azaria’s first speaking role. We think we can definitely top that – by making the cameo of a lifetime for a glorious old flame like Benecio.