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Here Are The Remarks Meghan Markle Made About Preferring To Be Heard Than Loved That Have Sparked Debate

According to the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle it is better to be heard and not loved. 

There’s no denying that Meghan Markle, a woman of color, who quickly rose and fell in the face of British public opinion since her early days of courtship with Prince Harry has been harsh. The new Royal family member faced a brief stint of adoration amongst the public before they quickly turned on her, lighting her up for criticisms related to her race and family. Still, amidst the scrutiny, Markle is proving that it’s better to keep your chin up than let your shoulders sag.

In a new interview published by the British news outlet the Telegraph, the former “Suits” actress expressed that she will not seek special treatment or expect an outpour of love from the world that is watching her.

According to The Telegraph, the Duchess simply wants to be heard, particularly when it comes to her newfound platform which she hopes to use to advance the causes with which she is most concerned

The Telegraph’s Bryony Gordon spoke to Markle during a recent visit and reported that she is living in a world where she lives “in the solution, not the problem.”

“She told me that she didn’t want people to love her—she just wanted them to be able to hear her,” Gordon reported in her article for The Telegraph.

According to her essay, Gordon attended the opening of the second branch of Luminary Bakery, a UK-based charity and training center which offers disadvantaged women professional baking lessons and skills, alongside Markle. There the two women spoke about Markle’s role in the Royal family and the former actress also gave a speech to attendees.

Speaking at the event, Godron says Markle adressed the women in the audience saying that “One of the things I have realized since being here is that people have an expectation when I’m coming somewhere, so I’m like, let’s just be really relaxed, keep everyone nice and chilled, because at the end of the day we’re all just women… We all have a story to tell, and I feel honoured that I am getting to hear yours.”

Lately, Markle’s experience as a newly minted member of the Royal family has gained even more attention born out of her own openness and honesty with reporters.

In an ITV documentary called “Harry & Meghan: An African Journey,” which aired in the United States on Oct. 23, Markle admitted to struggling under the intense public scrutiny of her role as a new wife and mother.

Speaking to the film’s host Tom Bradby, Markle claimed that while she had been warned by British friends to not pursue a serious relationship with Harry because of the British tabloids, Markle did not think it would be quiet as bad as they had claimed.

But it wasn’t until Bradby asked Markle how she was holding up amidst the new changes in her life that began to tear up and she was granted more sympathy.

“Thank you for asking because not many people have asked if I’m okay, but it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes,” Markle replied through stifled tears during the interview. “I really tried to adopt this British sensibility of a ‘stiff upper lip.’ I really tried, but I think that what that does internally is probably really damaging. I never thought that this would be easy, but I thought it would be fair. And that’s the part that’s really hard to reconcile.”

In the same documentary, Markle’s husband Prince Harry admitted that public scrutiny of his wife brought back the trauma of his late mother, Princess Diana’s, 1997 death.

In response to Markle’s heartbreaking interview, fans of the duchess offered their support with the hashtag #WeLoveYouMeghan.

The interview quickly sparked a discussion about Tabloid culture and the unfair treatment of women. 

Others pointed out how the good that Markle has done so far in her short term as a duchess has been remarkably overlooked.

“Duchess Meghan has done so much good for the UK economy, tourism, charities, etc. that has benefited the country in less than 2 years. So it’s about time those in the government support her against the racism, lies, & misogyny she’s faced from the British press. #WeLoveYouMeghan,”  Twitter user ERikk_the_Dane replied.

In support of Markle, the twitter account Meghanpedia commented that “#DuchessMeghan has American values of redemption and second chances. Where you can overcome obstacles & rise above your circumstances. She is bringing her optimism; hope & CAN DO ATTITUDE; helping to build confidence in women who need a hand held.”

There’s no denying that Markle’s work has, so far, generated quite a bit of good.

Before her very public relationship with her current husband, the 38-year-old former actress worked as a counselor for the international charity One Young World and spoke out against gender inequality and modern-day slavery.  As a duchess, Markle has inserted herself into the royal family’s various foundations and worked with the Hubb Community Kitchen, which was founded by the survivors of the Grenfell Tower fire. In support, she helped to publish a cookbook for funding called Together: Our Community Cookbook, which became her first charity project as Duchess of Sussex.

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Meghan Markle Reveals She Had a Miscarriage Earlier This Year

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Meghan Markle Reveals She Had a Miscarriage Earlier This Year

Photo by Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

In a heartbreaking essay titled “The Losses We Share” written for The New York Times, Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, revealed that she had a miscarriage earlier this year. It was not public knowledge that she was pregnant.

The essay describes where she was and what she was doing the moment it happened.

“It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib,” she wrote.

“After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”

Markle went on to describe the “almost unbearable grief” that she and her husband, Prince Harry, experienced in the aftermath of her miscarriage.

“Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, “Are you OK?”

The essay goes on to talk about the trauma of loss that so many have experienced in 2020–first through the coronavirus pandemic, then through witnessing on onslaught of racial violence in a tumultuous summer, then through an acrimonious, divisive election cycle.

“This year has brought so many of us to our breaking points,” she wrote. “Loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020, in moments both fraught and debilitating.”

She ended the piece on a hopeful note, describing the bittersweet unity that humankind is experiencing in the face of such shared hardships.

“We are adjusting to a new normal where faces are concealed by masks, but it’s forcing us to look into one another’s eyes–sometimes filled with warmth, other times with tears. For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another. Are we OK? We will be.”

Meghan Markle’s is now part of the growing movement of female public figures destigmatizing pregnancy loss.

In September, Chrissy Teigen revealed on social media that she was going to the hospital due to pregnancy complications. Hours later, she shared with the world: “Driving home from the hospital with no baby. How can this be real?”

Teigen went on to write an essay on Medium about why she took pictures of her pregnancy loss experience and chose to share them with the world: “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like,” she said. “These photos are only for the people who need them.”

Teigen went on to ask women who have had similar experiences to hers to not be afraid of sharing their stories with the world: “The worst part is knowing there are so many women that won’t get these quiet moments of joy from strangers. I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all.”

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Prince Harry Says Being Married to Meghan Markle Taught Him About Unconscious Bias: ‘I Had No Idea it Existed’

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Prince Harry Says Being Married to Meghan Markle Taught Him About Unconscious Bias: ‘I Had No Idea it Existed’

Photo by Rosa Woods – Pool/Getty Images

Prince Harry continues to shed his upper crust image by tackling important social issues head-on. On Monday, the Duke of Sussex sat down with UK Black Lives Matter activist Patrick Hutchinson for a conversation with GQ. In the conversation, Prince Harry admitted that he “had no idea” unconscious bias existed before he experienced it firsthand through the treatment of his wife, Meghan Markle.

The GQ conversation focused on hot-button topics like structural racism, unconscious bias, and the responsibility of white people to educate themselves on the aforementioned topics.

Prince Harry started the conversation of by commending Hutchinson for his activist worth and adding that there’s still “lots of work to do” when it comes to dismantling racism worldwide. The conversation turned personal when the two began to discuss unconscious bias, with Hutchinson broaching the subject.

“There are a lot of people who either don’t think that [racism] exists or they don’t want change and they’re fighting against it. And I don’t know what these people are afraid of,” said Hutchinson.

Prince Harry became personal, revealing that his background as the literal Prince of England had made him ignorant to the widespread nature of racism before.

“Unconscious bias… having the upbringing and the education that I had, I had no idea what it was. I had no idea it existed.” He then admitted: “Sad as it is to say, it took me many, many years to realize it [existed], especially then living a day or a week in my wife [Meghan]’s shoes.”

Since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle started dating in 2016, Markle has been on the receiving end of vicious media attacks–many of them fueled by racism.

At the time, Prince Harry condemned the British press for their treatment of Markle. He released a statement decrying the “racial undertones of comment pieces” and the “outright sexism and racism of social media trolls” that Markle has to deal with. Recently, Meghan spoke about the hate her and Harry receive for being in an interracial marriage.

Prince Harry described unconscious bias to Hutchinson as largely beyond people’s control, but worth addressing once you’re aware of it. “No one’s blaming anybody,” Prince Harry said.

“You can’t really point fingers, especially when it comes to unconscious bias. But once you realize or you feel a little bit uncomfortable, then the onus is on you to go out and educate yourself, because ignorance is no longer an excuse.”

Both Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been on the receiving end of criticism for their vocal support of the Black Lives Matter movement and their video campaigns urging people to vote in the upcoming election.

About dismantling structural racism, Prince Harry said, “It’s going to take every single one of us to really change things and anyone that’s pushing against it really needs to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror.”

He continued: “This isn’t black versus white…This is a global movement. The train has left the station. If you’re not on it now, then get on it because there’s so much that we can do.”

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