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These Latino Holiday Gifts Are Anything But Basic

Consider yourself #blessed because you, YES, you have quirky friends. Luckily for you, Christmas shopping for them is also fun because you don’t have to go on a mission and do detective work only to find out they want something super specific, like a shade of matte, semi-shimmer lipstick by some influencer brand you can’t remember.

But, those aren’t your problems. Our shop has nothing but gift solutions for your group of friends. Your biggest problem will be choosing from all the dope stuff we have. And if you can’t, have your friend pick a number between 1 through 8…and SAS! That’s their gift from this list:

Magic Ocho Ball

Are cosmic energy and astrological signs porn for your friends? PERFECT! The Magic Ocho Ball has arrived and has all the answers to their inner-most pressing questions, like: “Are we eating sobras for dinner again?” “Is the love of my life going to show up at my door and do my laundry?” “Will my mom be chill when I get home after 10 this weekend?”…Tell your friend, don’t worry, I’ve gotchu and watch their face light up when they unwrap their own Magic Ocho Ball.

No Pos Ta Cabron Unisex Sweatshirt

Christmas is a time of contemplation. So, have your friend (or dad, tío or primo) reflect like a viejito and look back on thier life with this hilarious, “No Pos Ta Cabron,” sweater. Maybe this will get them to think about their ex, or that they’re not getting paid enough at work, or they’ll remember all the times their mom kept bringing up that you’re looking more “llenito.” Well, ta cabron my friend, and nothing says that like this sweater.

Guacardo Fashion Doll

This Guacardo is EVERYTHING. Like, literally, customize him however you want! Change his shirt, turn his frown upside down, throw a pink K-pop wig on him, WHAT???? EV???? ER????YOU????WANT????. Gift this fashion icon and your friends will never ask you for anything ever again. (Pssst, or you can totally get this for yourself).

Tragos Card Game

Tragos is the perfect game to get TURNT [in Spanish] this holiday season. It’ll make for a great stocking stuffer for the special people on your list that always roll up to the house with the michelada kit, coquito, tequila (whatever, you guys drink…but please be 21 and responsible–osea, no te metas en pedos EH). But as the saying goes, “Tis the season to play Tragos…falalala-LA, quiero TO-MAR!”

Concha Sweatshirt

Oh DANG, who’s that looking delicious AF in a concha sweatshirt? OH…is that your friend or prima? And, did you get them this for Christmas? OMG, look at’chu winning all the awards for best gifts this year ????. 

Avocado Cross Body Bag

Nothing quite says chic and “I put avocado on EVERYTHING” like this adorable crossbody bag. Your friends will cry when they open this gift up. And if you wanna be super extra, we recommend getting other adorable trinkets from our shop and stowing them in the bag. #Gift-ception.

Guacardo Selena Plushie

You can shake this Guacardo’s hips like a washing machine and make her the perfect stocking stuffer for your quirky friends who ???? Selena. It’s the perfect size to hang off a backpack, purse or keyring. Your friends or family can also carry it everywhere and hold it on their hearts because it’s just too precious. 

Concha Speaker

Everyone and their mother has those basic stand-up speakers. Gift your friends or family a speaker that connects with their soul. Your friends will be able to bump their most fire jams with this fresh-looking pink concha speaker. Your friends will instantly notice how this speaker adds a new “dulce” factor to their favorite songs and it’s perfect to carry everywhere they go. Please don’t eat this speaker though.

NAMASTE-home, I got some FIRE ass candles for Christmas.” – Your Friends.

Día De Los Reyes Was The First Time I Allowed My S.O. To Experience My Culture

Culture

Día De Los Reyes Was The First Time I Allowed My S.O. To Experience My Culture

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For many who regularly take part in the holiday season, Christmas traditions are strongly tied to religious beliefs and practices. The ways in which the customs around the holiday season are carried out often deeply rooted in cultural rituals and they often vary from family to family. For my Puerto Rican family, the holiday season is drawn out well past the first of January when radio stations reel back on the jingles and Mariah Carey classics. For us, the Twelve Days Of Christmas sales or songs we know of don’t relate to the days leading up to December 25, but rather the twelve days in between Christmas Day and January 6 The Epiphany, a biblical day that marks the final leg of the  Three Wise Men’s journey to deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to Jesus Christ.

Día De Los Reyes has always been an especially important day for my family. The fact that “reyes” is my mother’s maiden name has only made the day a little sweeter.

Photo provided by Wandy Felicita Ortiz

A more popular holiday back on the island, my abuela and abuelo Reyes brought their traditions to the mainland with them in the 1950s.

On the evening of January 5, each member of my family from grandfather to my youngest sobrino pull out cardboard shoe and clothing boxes (all marked with our names, drawn on and decorated over the years with crayons, markers, and glitter pens) to take part in a tradition that we hold dear in our hearts. After we’ve filled the boxes with snacks like carrots, lettuce, and sometimes grass for the Three Kings’ camels to munch on as they pass through our town we stick the boxes under our beds. Finally, just as we would with Santa Claus, we write the Three Kings–Los Reyes–a handwritten note wishing them safe travels as the journey to see the baby Jesus hoping that as they did with him on that first Epiphany, they’ll leave a small gift or token of some sort under our boxes.

Dia De Los Reyes functions similarly to Christmas Eve in my family. We all wake up and check under our boxes to see if we were good enough this year to receive any gifts. We’d go to mass together, where as kids we’d hope that maybe Los Reyes stayed in town with their camels long enough that day to be at the church community center to pose for photos. We would visit family and eat pernil and arroz con gandules, dishes reserved for celebrations and holidays.

As I got older I went to mass only sometimes and stopped looking to get my photos with Los Reyes.

Photo provided by Wandy Felicita Ortiz

I never stopped checking my box for gifts though, or remembering each rey by the names older relatives taught me to write in my letters: Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar. As an adult I focused on new ways to celebrate “being a king,” as my family would say, and took on the role of expert coquito maker.

When I started dating and began wanting to bring boyfriends home for the holidays, part of my new role during the holiday season also unintentionally became one of both gatekeeper and teacher of my Puerto Rican culture. As a sophomore in college, I brought my then boyfriend home for December for the first time. In my household, Noche Buena, Christmas Day, New Years Day, New Year’s Eve, and Dia De Los Reyes were all days set aside for family, exclusively. I knew not to ask for exceptions, and in the past had willfully or grudgingly passed up holiday and New Years parties to honor the expectation of being en familia.

But in my twenties I badly started to yearn for my first New Years kiss and wanted, even more, to share part of my twelve days of Christmas with somebody who mattered to me.

My parents, on the other hand, were hesitant. Dia De Los Reyes was about Los Reyes, as in my family.

My boyfriend was someone they saw a few times a year and knew of only from phone calls, letters, texts, and video chats. Someone so unfamiliar certainly wasn’t considered family, and moreover someone who wasn’t Latino couldn’t possibly understand the sanctity of the day we’d honored so lovingly all our lives.

Most concerning of all, Dia De Los Reyes is also known among some circles as “the poor man’s Christmas,” my grandparents’ explanation being that back in the days of Jesus, being a king didn’t mean wealth like it means today. It meant that the giftschildren and observers receive in their boxes today are small, like a $10 gift card, socks, some mittens, or maybe candy. The last thing my family needed was for some guy they didn’t know to reach into an old shoebox of all things, pull out socks, and think we were cheap. With some convincing and a little grumbling, my family allowed me to write my boyfriend’s name on a box, fill it with lettuce and put it under my bed on January 5.

That night as I lay in bed, I did feel nervous knowing that I was bringing somebody into such a special part of my life that no one had ever seen before outside of my parents. Earlier in the day, I made sure to explain to him how seriously my family took our family only traditions, and how it wasn’t just about the religious holiday but the namesake that ties us to one another. I felt silly as I highlighted decorating beat-up boxes as one of my favorite traditions, something I hadn’t ever admitted out loud. Quiet and reserved, he listened to my stories but didn’t ask any questions.

In the morning, I still had my family only morning mass and our opening of gifts, but later that day my boyfriend was invited over for pasteles, coquito, and the checking of his first and only Three Kings Day box.

My parents observed with critical eyes as he went through the motions of our traditions, seeming charmed by the gifts of a hat and gloves left resting on top of torn up shreds of lettuce, proof that Los Reyes had come through our house. As he followed our lead I sat hoping that by participating in the events himself, he might better understand where my love for my culture comes from, or maybe even briefly feel the same sense of childhood joy I do on that day each year. Admittedly, it was an awkward day for everyone involved and not filled with all the magic I had hoped for. Nonetheless, I still felt proud of myself for being able to break down a barrier that had long existed between myself and not only romantic connections but a friend, too.

I wanted the opportunity to show those outside of my family the part of my identity that I hadn’t always made transparent in my daily life, even if that meant that they didn’t understand or wouldn’t “get it” at first.

Photo provided by Wandy Felicita Ortiz

Even though the person who got to take the test run of my family only traditions and I aren’t together anymore, a few years ago he broke the mold for being able to bring others into a part of my life I was using to shutting so many close to me out of.n Maybe he did think that of us, our gifts, or the day we celebrate as cheap, but after the fact I, didn’t care. In the years that have followed, what has mattered most to me has been that I could start sharing Reyes, this name that laid down the foundation to who I am before I was ever born, and all the nuances that come with it with those I want to know me better.

This Dia De Los Reyes will be one of a few Reyes family festivities that my current boyfriend will be participating in, and another year where my family pulls out his box and welcomes his extra cheer into our holidays. While he’s still learning about my roots, I’m still learning that I can take these moments and use them to bring myself closer to my culture and my loved ones.


Read: Twitter’s Latest Hashtag Fights Back Against The Normalization Of Death And Violence Against Migrant Youth

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If You Thought The Christmas Presents You Got Were Bad, Wait Till You See This List Of Over The Top Celebrity Xmas Gifts

Entertainment

If You Thought The Christmas Presents You Got Were Bad, Wait Till You See This List Of Over The Top Celebrity Xmas Gifts

Merry Christmas! Did you wake up hungover from all the drinks your cousins forced you to have, feeling like the sugarplums who were so joyously dancing in your head last night turned up so hard that your brain feels like an empty shell? Today is the day of spending time with your loved ones, opening presents, maybe receiving a sweet new phone, perhaps some sweaters you won’t wear, or if you’re lucky, you got something you actually wanted, like a mini Louis Vuitton bag, or a private jet; if you were Rihanna, then you would’ve received an original piece of Jeff Koons art. But alas, we’re mere mortals. So here you have a list of crazy, outrageous, over-the-top Christmas presents celebs have given or received throughout the years. Just to keep you humble. 

Louis Vuitton Bag galore

Instagram @kimkardashian

Kim Kardashian gifted all of the “baby girls” in the Kardashian/Jenner fam mini LV bags for Christmas! She showed off the merch on her Instagram story, and then Kylie treated us to the moment when Stormi actually received her present. It’s unclear who else received the generous gift, but we can assume Dream, True, and Chicago will all be wearing their matching purses together.

Lady Gaga’s pony

Lady Gaga lived out every little girl’s dream by actually receiving a pony for Christmas. Her record label, Interscope Records, gifted their star this beautiful creature in 2015.

Kanye West’s bizarre art-piece

In 2013, Kim Kardashian West received this very artsy Birkin, hand-painted by George Condo, from Kanye West. The bag along —sans art— cost $16,000.

Kim Kardashian got her hubby and baby, matching presents

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Like father like daughter

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Kim Kardashian West won major mom and wifey points with her matching black Lamborghinis for Kanye West and daughter North. Oh, and this was for Northie’s first Christmas, by the way.

Beyoncé’s definitely not one of Jay-Z’s 99 problems

Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but his Bugatti ain’t one! In 2010 Queen Bey gifted her man the world’s fastest car worth a cool $2 million big ones for his December birthday (let’s hope it qualified for his Christmas present too). But spending this amount of dough is nothing for the superstar couple; Jay-Z rang in the holiday cheer by buying her $350,000 worth of Birkin bags from Hermes.

Mariah Carey’s Mommy-mobile

And speaking of cars, Nick Cannon showed his holiday love for now former wife Mariah Carey with a $400,000 Phantom Rolls-Royce, complete with personalized “mommyMC” license plate back in the day.

Mike Tyson’s GOLD bath-tub, yeah, you read that right.

danspapers.com Jordan Rivers

Nothing says love like a bathtub made of gold. The fighter splashed out $2.2 million on a 24 karat gold bathtub for his ex-wife Robin Givens. After the marriage broke down, however, so did the value of the iconic bathtub and the extravagant gift was put to auction in 2013. Derwood Hodgegrass bought the bath for a cool $1.2 million, almost half the price of what Tyson originally paid. 

Justin Bieber’s modest ‘treat-yourself’ moment

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New jet for Christmas, and she's beautiful

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In 2014, the pop singer was all about the gift of giving, by buying himself a private jet. Showing off his new toy, the “Baby” singer posted a selfie inside his new plane with the caption: “New jet for Christmas, and she’s beautiful”.

Rihanna’s expensive af art-piece

Riri once found an original Jeff Koons sculpture under the tree. The sculpture was a gift from the creative director of Fenty Corp. How much could this collection of random pool toys on a stool be worth, you ask? A similar piece sold for $5M and Koons’ famed enormous balloon animals were auctioned off for upwards of $50M a piece.

J.Lo’s throne

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Vanity Fair #hustlersmovie

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Affleck bought his former wife a jewel-encursted toilet seat. It’s only natural that the pop-star’s former beau only wanted the very best for his girl’s derriere. Reportedly he told a friend, “Jennifer is my princess and she deserves only the best—even when it comes to toilets.” The toilet seat, which Affleck supposedly designed himself, featuring, rubies, sapphires and a diamond, cost a whopping $105,000. How’s that for a throne?