Cardi B Blows Up Instagram As She Shares Her Opinion On Best Lighting Options For Sex
Would you even be surprised to hear that Cardi B is at it again – this time talking about the best lighting to have during sex? Probably not. In classic Cardi B style, she took to Instagram to set the record straight, and give everyone the low-down on how we should be having sex. Because we all know that in the modern age, the best way to get your message across on the important things is via the glorious Insta feed.
As any true sex aficionado, Cardi gave us all the reasons why we shouldn’tuse certain lighting.
She begins by explaining why a fully-lit room can ruin the mood. ”If I see a pimple on a n**** face, it distract me from cumming because now I wanna pop the pimple … I can’t focus at all,” she said. Clearly, Cardi B is one of those people who can watch one of those Youtube vids showing pimples getting popped in graphic detail, without getting squicked out over it. More power to her – except for when she’s in bed, obviously.
Next, Cardi brought out the next point in her argument: that there’s no way you wanna be banging when it’s pitch black.
”You know you start seeing monsters when it’s too dark and sh*t. Oh, b*tch, I’m scared I wanna get out of here,” she explained. Okay, so now somehow we’re not only getting hints and tips on getting the best out of our time in the bedroom, we’re also learning more about Cardi B. She’s afraid of the dark? Man, it’s time for her to invest in some cute lil fairy lights or something. We all know that even though that hipster aesthetic is hella adorable, it was really made for people who aren’t a fan of the dark.
And then, Cardi B schooled us on how we should be setting the mood when we’re in the bedroom.
“You know when you’re in the club, when that blue light is on and everyone looks beautiful … you look beautiful when the TV light is on,” she said. And you know what, she’s not wrong. There’s something to be said about the dim lighting that a television can provide. After all, “Netflix and chill” was invented for a reason, right? And now it’s evolved beyond just being a simple pickup line, into an actual phenomenon, thanks to Cardi B.
But, this brings up more questions: is it possible for whatever’s on TV to be too distracting?
For us hippies out here: would a lava lamp suffice? What about sound coming from the TV? Are we going to ignore the initial awkwardness of getting hot and heavy with someone, to then fiddling with the lights and turning on the television? If Cardi’s gonna argue this, then she’s gonna need to go all out and really explore the topic with us. We. Need. Answers. And if this turns into a series on Insta, we’re breaking out the popcorn.
Anyway, as you’ve probably already guessed, things are blowing up on Insta and on Twitter.
The comments were alive with people applauding Cardi for sharing a universal truth. It’s now a fact, babes.
Some of these comments though…
Others were surprised that what should be a sexy night in can turn into a full-on ghost story for our girl.
Maybe not too surprising, Cardi B had her supporters online.
Chances are Cardi isn’t the first one to have discovered the benefit of a blue light, with some fans applauding her statement and making them feel seen.
Things were a bit different on Twitter, though.
It probably doesn’t help that Cardi also took to Twitter to share her thoughts on spitting and sex – and suddenly everyone had to Tweet their thoughts on what was going on behind the scenes for Cardi B. This led some to inquire about the health of Cardi and Offset’s relationship. We can answer this now, for you: they’re doing fine, of course – Cardi’s got the whole TV lighting thing sorted, after all!
Others had a bit of a giggle – because Cardi B was doing what Cardi does best. No, not rapping – chatting about sex online!
A fan or two couldn’t help but think about what Cardi’s comments meant for Cardi and Offset’s sex life.
At the end of the day Cardi B is out here doing God’s work, since she’s destigmatizing women having a sexual appetite, one Instagram rant at a time. Thanks, Cardi. And for those of you who are curious about the original post, we’ve got it right herefor you. Yeah, you’re welcome.
Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at email@example.com