Camila Cabello was on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” to promote her highly-anticipated album “The Healing, The Hurting, The Loving,” which will drop later this year. Of course, Jimmy Fallon stayed true to his brand and had Cabello play a game called Hashtags: #SummerSongs. It’s a game where fans submit made-up “lyrics” using #SummerSongs. The performer must sing the lyrics regardless of how ridiculous they are. Camilizers did not disappoint with the song lyrics they suggested.
Of course, a couple of the lyrics were based on her music, like these lines, which were based on “I Have Questions.”
CREDIT: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon / YouTube
“Number one, tell why did you get burned / When I know that you’ve got sunscreen in your purse #SummerSongs,” tweeted @Skippycabello.
The day after Cardi B pleaded “not guilty” to the assault of two bartenders at a strip club in August 2018, she dropped her long-anticipated music video for summer banger “Press.” In the five hours since the video was published, it’s reached nearly 2 million views–a new record for the rapper.
Just last week, Cardi performed for a Los Angeles crowd to announce “I ain’t going to jail.” “Press” offers an entirely different narrative, all of which can only prove Cardi B’s artistry beyond a reasonable doubt.
The video opens with Cardi B heavy making out with a girl.
Of course, everyone has an opinion on this–ranging from it being a stance against homophobia to queerbaiting. All we know is that she uses the makeout for her opening shot and, well, okay.
Next thing we know, Cardi B is casually smoking a cigarette when she pulls out a gun.
After the make out session, the screen fades to black, then to a muscular man getting involved in the beginnings of a sex scene. The screen fades to black and we see Cardi looking like a chingona. Shots are fired. The screen fades to black.
We see crowds of Cardi B fans outside a courthouse with two black women acting as police officers.
This video does an excellent job of illustrating a dystopian reality where women are in charge. Fans are having discussions about the undertone of experiencing police uniforms instill a credible sense of safety in the viewer.
Once again, Cardi B is a fashion icon.
We see her get dragged into an interrogation room looking fly. Twitter user @BlasianMimi is worked up: “Cardi fucking ATE you hear me she did not come to play. The subliminal messages, the visuals, the fashion, the acting. Everything was perfect #PressMusicVideo”
Then, we see Cardi B completely naked with blood dripping down her arms.
This feels like a personal message to the women pressing charges against Cardi for allegedly throwing bottles at them.
“B****es in my business, they tryna plot (woo) Hoes poppin’ sh** like they hot but they not (no)”
In Cardi B’s directorial debut, we get to see her vision come to life.
That vision is an army of back up dancers and Cardi herself completely nude with their nipples and crotches blurred out–a recreation of Barbie dolls. In an Instagram post, Cardi thanks her team for making their crotches look “pleasant” because it was “really difficult” to make that happen in editing.
As she walks to court, she’s in all white from her hair to her eyebrows to her toes.
That vision is all Cardi B. She says she was very specific about getting that look, and fans have so many opinions about it. White is a symbol of innocence, but whiteness in a courtroom is a metaphor for invincibility.
Her entire legal team is made up of young women, mostly women of color.
Everyone is wearing the costume they’re meant to wear in the arena of life. Cardi B’s white outfit is meant to mean something to the judges.
But all the judges are old white men.
Sounds familiar right? One Twitter user was aghast, “14 white and old judges, wow.” Others retweeted that this was the U.S. Supreme Court in a nutshell.
There are white men everywhere screaming at Cardi B.
In the trial, all the people transcribing are young black women. All the people in power are white men.
“Done with the talkin’, I’m open to violence Ask anybody, they know I’m about it”
All the haters are white.
The people giving testimony against Cardi B are white men and women alike. Cardi’s all-white outfit doesn’t “pass” for the power as white skin. Cardi is sentenced to prison.
To be clear… she’s committing violent crimes all over the place.
We saw her shoot the gun during her threesome earlier on and now, her entire back up dance team are murdered on the ground. Everyone in the courtroom is bloodied, on the ground.
Cardi B is walked to her cell where she ends up drowning her cellmate in a toilet.
Why did she drown her cellmate? Cardi shared on Instagram that she “really wanted to drown somebody in the toilet and kill them ‘cause that’s just such terrible way to die.”
Of course, the haters are out there, but the Latino Bardi Gang has her back.
With over 3 million views in less than 7 hours and climbing, Cardi ‘s getting more press, whether she needs it or not. Congrats on your upcoming Emmy, girl.
You can watch the full music video below.
What do you think about Cardi B’s new music video?
When it comes to wedding taboos, actual ceremonies can be a minefield for disaster. From appropriate colors to wear, types of headgear (never wear a tiara if it’s not your day!), and dance floor gags and wedding toasts, it seems that when it comes to W-day anything can go wrong.
Especially when guests with free-minds are attending.
Likely no one has a keener understanding of wedding day madness than Twitter user Amy Pennza who recently shared a post to Twitter of possibly the worst wedding faux pas occurrence ever. Turns out it also happened at her very own wedding in 2004.
Pennza’s own mother-in-law showed up to her ceremony wearing a long, white gown ― AKA, a wedding dress.
Fortunately, Pennza explained the incident in a thread to her account and as it turns out the nightmarish moment and the MIL are much more redeemable than we’d ever thought. According to Pennza, the MIL, who continues to struggle with letting go of her early years as a child in poverty, could not pass up on a sale at Dillard’s.
Fortunately, Pennza’s post unleashed a series of more tweets about similarly nightmarish stories.
Such as this bride’s madre y suegra match.
Can anyone say “twinning”?
And this novia’s big flop moment in front of a camera.
This bride says that in an innocent attempt to reinvent the Pinterest classic, she ended up eating it.
This officiant’s super odd replacement for communion.
BUT tbh this Boricua’s officiant gets it ride. Dunkin’ truly is the bread of life.
This Latina who got tricked and broke off the engagement.
Oof. Actually this horrific story sounds like a nightmare. Here’s hoping the groom grew up right quick after this.
This mujer whose mother literally LOST her wedding dress.
My girl. How does a wedding dress fly off of an actual car?? Can’t imagine how this poor girl’s mother felt after this happened. Fortunately, the thrift bride was able to find a replacement dress on time!
A destination wedding that has already been abandoned before it took off.
Okay but for real… doesn’t everyone low-key assume that a destination wedding is supposed to exclude?
This story of abuela serving the ultimate mal de ojo.
Ay yay yay. This story of a Latina who had previously been married being shamed just before she walked down the aisle could have been the worst, fortunately she served her own snap back.
This poor bride who was called a racial slur.
Unfortunately, stupid is as stupid does and stupid does exist in the world. Even at weddings. Fortunately this bride who was called a “dirty Mexican” during a drunken toast took things in stride.
And finally a sweet story to beat them all.
This one might definitely make you rethink how you pick out your groom’s men and flower girls but it’s still pretty cute.
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