We Recast ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ With The Brujas We Wished Played The Roles
Latino representation on the television and in Hollywood isn’t great, let’s face it. When predominantly white actors and actresses steal the show for a show on brujería, however, that’s when you know something is up. We reimagined the critically acclaimed American Horror Story: Coven series with Latinas at the heart of the casting, and we are positive you’d want to see this all-star witch-cast with your Latin faves line-up.
Rosario Dawson as Cordelia Foxx, née Goode
Imagine this glowing goddess as the reigning Supreme of the Coven! Dawson has shown her glory in action films like Unforgettable. Her uncanny ability to maintain an earthy charisma while being stern and even glamorous win her our top pick for Cordelia in the Bruja Remix of American Horror Story: Coven.
Amara La Negra as Zoe Benson
Amara’s sweet pop-fueled innocent looks make her a natural to play the role of Zoe Benson, a member of the Witches’ Council and instructor at Miss Robichaux’s Academy. Amara’s classes would be one of the most important to sign up for! We would love to see her take the lead in this strange but breathtaking role.
Sofia Vergara as Myrtle Snow
If we could pick anyone to play Myrtle Snow, it would be Sofia Vergara and her eccentric performance skills to take over the coven. As head of the Witches’ Council, she is the fashionable childless auntie supreme. Add a little Colombian flavor to that, and you’ve got the performance of a lifetime in haute couture.
Diego Boneta as Kyle Spencer
We needed someone youthful and heartthrob-esque to take the role of the beautiful Kyle Spencer, the undead Louisiana boy who fell for Zoe before being killed with the rest of his fraternity. Boneta has skillfully played alongside Hillary Duff in Mexico and most notably played the starring role in the Luis Miguel biopic aired by Telemundo. Plus he was in Scream Queens so we know he understands the thriller/horror thing.
Salma Hayek as Misty Day
Hayek’s sultry looks would make her the perfect choice to play Misty Day, the soulful witch from the swampy bayou. Misty’s power of resurgence, the magical ability to bring souls back from the dead, make it one of the most important brujas in the coven. Hayek would be killer for helping bring that which was once lost back to life.
Selena Gomez as Madison Montgomery
Teenage party queen Madison Montgomery should be played by none other than the starlet Selena Gomez. Gomez has the adorable tiny-face to play a teenager character along with the range to play a telekinetic witch who could plot revenge on dozens of people at once. Bonus: Gomez, like Madison, grew up a child star and would play to character perfectly.
Danny Trejo as Spalding
The convict turned Hollywood actor Danny Trejo would make a fantastic Latino-flavored Spalding for this Latino recast. The mysterious butler is missing his tongue, so we wouldn’t get the chance to hear Danny’s magnificent accent, but the chance to see some real cholo representation in the elderly world is too much to pass up.
Ivonne Coll as Delphine LaLaurie
It’s hard to imagine Coll, the abuela from “Jane the Virgin” as a monster who tortured people but her humor is what we are focusing on. She is a funny actress and we loved laughing at LaLaurie as she tried to get out of her cage and wailed about being treated like dirt.
Raquel Welch as Fiona Goode
Raquel Welch made her career as one of the sexiest women in Hollywood history, and we think her aging beauty queen aesthetic would be prime material to play Fiona Goode. Fiona, Cordelia’s late mother and former Supreme of the Coven, spends her life jet setting and hobnobbing with celebrities. She fears no one and is prepared to do what it takes to live forever, as long as she looks young and beautiful doing it.
Sophia Pineda as Nan
Sophia Pineda, a well-regarded teenage painter, could easily cross-over to on-screen art to play Nan. Sophia, who like Nan has Down Syndrome, represents the youth and rigor of the character who refuses to be underestimated. Nan posses the power to control people’s minds and move inanimate objects without touching them.
Gina Torres as Marie Laveau
In truth, we struggle to have anyone ever replace Angela Bassett for the role of Marie Laveau, but for the purposes of this thought experiment, we’ll daydream Gina Torres in her place. Marie is the legendary former Voodoo Quen of New Orleans, and she represents the equivalent of the Supreme in her form of magic, Voodoo. She runs the rival gang to the witch coven and is ready to defend her territory should anyone try to cross her.
The Kid Mero as Papa Legba
Can you imagine the comedian and Twitter star Kid Mero as the shadowy gatekeeper of the spirit world? We certainly can. His trickster personality would fit the role perfectly, and even if he were a bit funnier than the original, we’d need it to lighten the very dark show a bit. Just imagining the Kid Mero awkwardly taking someone’s soul away because they missed his joke is enough to make us crave this recast as badly as ever – maybe not enough to sell our soul but close.
Rita Moreno as Anna Leigh Leighton
Could our beloved Rita Moreno play one of the oldest Supremes seen on the show? We think so! Anna Leigh Leighton is supposed to be the Supreme who reigned before Fiona Goode. Goode, who’s diplomacy lead to truce agreement between the coven and Marie Laveau, was taken out by a power-hungry Fiona Goode
Cardi B as Kaylee
Who said Cardi B wasn’t fuego? There’s no one better than her to play Kaylee, the young pyrokinetic witch that can set things on fire with the power of her mind. Imagine her turning down the chance to join the coven with her characteristic “Okkkkkrrrrrrr!”
Jennifer Lopez as Joan Ramsey
Jennifer Lopez could make being bad look so good. That’s why she’s our pick to play Joan Ramsey, the evangelical, fervent Christian who lives next to the Academy with her son. Imagining J.Lo peeking over her fence to see what the bad witches of the coven are up to is inspiring to say the least.
Javier Bardem as Louis LaLaurie
Javier Bardem would play excellently as the damning husband of Delphine, Louis LaLaurie. Javier’s previous roles as an evil pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and the villain in No Country for Old Men have poises him to be a deliciously evil bad guy we love to loathe.
Paula Garcés as Pauline LaLaurie
Garcés’ youthful, mean-girl looks would make her the perfect person to play Delphine’s youngest daughter, Pauline. Pauline is a brutal villain and we’d like to see someone like Paula try out her bad side with this character.
Kid Cudi as Bastien
Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi – more commonly known as Kid Cudi – would make a lovely Bastien. The tragic lover of Marie who is turned into a Minotaur, Kid Cudi’s Afro-Latino background would fit perfectly into Bastien’s ill-fated storyline.
Gael García Bernal as Hank Foxx
Who better to play Cordelia’s two-faced husband, Hank Foxx, than Gael García Bernal? García Bernal is handsome and believable as a loving husband but has the skills necessary to play a charmer with a secret dark side. We root yes on this one.
Yesenia Guadalupe as Queenie
Instagram phat-fashion model Yesenia Guadalupe would give us serious big girl feels if she got the chance to play Queenie. Her mesmerizing photogenic personality alongside her style would give her the boost we need to make this all-star cast exactly what brujas want.
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