entertainment

We Recast ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ With The Brujas We Wished Played The Roles

American Horror Story: Coven / FX / sososophiola / Instagram

Latino representation on the television and in Hollywood isn’t great, let’s face it. When predominantly white actors and actresses steal the show for a show on brujería, however, that’s when you know something is up. We reimagined the critically acclaimed American Horror Story: Coven series with Latinas at the heart of the casting, and we are positive you’d want to see this all-star witch-cast with your Latin faves line-up.

Rosario Dawson as Cordelia Foxx, née Goode

Credit: rosariodawson / Instagram

Imagine this glowing goddess as the reigning Supreme of the Coven! Dawson has shown her glory in action films like Unforgettable. Her uncanny ability to maintain an earthy charisma while being stern and even glamorous win her our top pick for Cordelia in the Bruja Remix of American Horror Story: Coven.

Amara La Negra as Zoe Benson

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Amara’s sweet pop-fueled innocent looks make her a natural to play the role of Zoe Benson, a member of the Witches’ Council and instructor at Miss Robichaux’s Academy. Amara’s classes would be one of the most important to sign up for! We would love to see her take the lead in this strange but breathtaking role.

Sofia Vergara as Myrtle Snow

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If we could pick anyone to play Myrtle Snow, it would be Sofia Vergara and her eccentric performance skills to take over the coven. As head of the Witches’ Council, she is the fashionable childless auntie supreme. Add a little Colombian flavor to that, and you’ve got the performance of a lifetime in haute couture.

Diego Boneta as Kyle Spencer

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We needed someone youthful and heartthrob-esque to take the role of the beautiful Kyle Spencer, the undead Louisiana boy who fell for Zoe before being killed with the rest of his fraternity. Boneta has skillfully played alongside Hillary Duff in Mexico and most notably played the starring role in the Luis Miguel biopic aired by Telemundo. Plus he was in Scream Queens so we know he understands the thriller/horror thing.

Salma Hayek as Misty Day

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Hayek’s sultry looks would make her the perfect choice to play Misty Day, the soulful witch from the swampy bayou. Misty’s power of resurgence, the magical ability to bring souls back from the dead, make it one of the most important brujas in the coven. Hayek would be killer for helping bring that which was once lost back to life.

Selena Gomez as Madison Montgomery

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Teenage party queen Madison Montgomery should be played by none other than the starlet Selena Gomez. Gomez has the adorable tiny-face to play a teenager character along with the range to play a telekinetic witch who could plot revenge on dozens of people at once. Bonus: Gomez, like Madison, grew up a child star and would play to character perfectly.

Danny Trejo as Spalding

Credit: officialdannytrejo / Instagram

The convict turned Hollywood actor Danny Trejo would make a fantastic Latino-flavored Spalding for this Latino recast. The mysterious butler is missing his tongue, so we wouldn’t get the chance to hear Danny’s magnificent accent, but the chance to see some real cholo representation in the elderly world is too much to pass up.

Ivonne Coll as Delphine LaLaurie

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It’s hard to imagine Coll, the abuela from “Jane the Virgin” as a monster who tortured people but her humor is what we are focusing on. She is a funny actress and we loved laughing at LaLaurie as she tried to get out of her cage and wailed about being treated like dirt.

Raquel Welch as Fiona Goode

Credit: therealraquelwelch / Credit

Raquel Welch made her career as one of the sexiest women in Hollywood history, and we think her aging beauty queen aesthetic would be prime material to play Fiona Goode. Fiona, Cordelia’s late mother and former Supreme of the Coven, spends her life jet setting and hobnobbing with celebrities. She fears no one and is prepared to do what it takes to live forever, as long as she looks young and beautiful doing it.

Sophia Pineda as Nan

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Sophia Pineda, a well-regarded teenage painter, could easily cross-over to on-screen art to play Nan. Sophia, who like Nan has Down Syndrome, represents the youth and rigor of the character who refuses to be underestimated. Nan posses the power to control people’s minds and move inanimate objects without touching them.

Gina Torres as Marie Laveau

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In truth, we struggle to have anyone ever replace Angela Bassett for the role of Marie Laveau, but for the purposes of this thought experiment, we’ll daydream Gina Torres in her place. Marie is the legendary former Voodoo Quen of New Orleans, and she represents the equivalent of the Supreme in her form of magic, Voodoo. She runs the rival gang to the witch coven and is ready to defend her territory should anyone try to cross her.

The Kid Mero as Papa Legba

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Can you imagine the comedian and Twitter star Kid Mero as the shadowy gatekeeper of the spirit world? We certainly can. His trickster personality would fit the role perfectly, and even if he were a bit funnier than the original, we’d need it to lighten the very dark show a bit. Just imagining the Kid Mero awkwardly taking someone’s soul away because they missed his joke is enough to make us crave this recast as badly as ever – maybe not enough to sell our soul but close.

Rita Moreno as Anna Leigh Leighton

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Could our beloved Rita Moreno play one of the oldest Supremes seen on the show? We think so! Anna Leigh Leighton is supposed to be the Supreme who reigned before Fiona Goode. Goode, who’s diplomacy lead to truce agreement between the coven and Marie Laveau, was taken out by a power-hungry Fiona Goode

Cardi B as Kaylee

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Who said Cardi B wasn’t fuego? There’s no one better than her to play Kaylee, the young pyrokinetic witch that can set things on fire with the power of her mind. Imagine her turning down the chance to join the coven with her characteristic “Okkkkkrrrrrrr!”

Jennifer Lopez as Joan Ramsey

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Jennifer Lopez could make being bad look so good. That’s why she’s our pick to play Joan Ramsey, the evangelical, fervent Christian who lives next to the Academy with her son. Imagining J.Lo peeking over her fence to see what the bad witches of the coven are up to is inspiring to say the least.

Javier Bardem as Louis LaLaurie

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Javier Bardem would play excellently as the damning husband of Delphine, Louis LaLaurie. Javier’s previous roles as an evil pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and the villain in No Country for Old Men have poises him to be a deliciously evil bad guy we love to loathe.

Paula Garcés as Pauline LaLaurie

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Garcés’ youthful, mean-girl looks would make her the perfect person to play Delphine’s youngest daughter, Pauline. Pauline is a brutal villain and we’d like to see someone like Paula try out her bad side with this character.

Kid Cudi as Bastien

Credit: kidcudi / Instagram

Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi – more commonly known as Kid Cudi – would make a lovely Bastien. The tragic lover of Marie who is turned into a Minotaur, Kid Cudi’s Afro-Latino background would fit perfectly into Bastien’s ill-fated storyline.

Gael García Bernal as Hank Foxx

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Who better to play Cordelia’s two-faced husband, Hank Foxx, than Gael García Bernal?  García Bernal is handsome and believable as a loving husband but has the skills necessary to play a charmer with a secret dark side. We root yes on this one.

Yesenia Guadalupe as Queenie

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Instagram phat-fashion model Yesenia Guadalupe would give us serious big girl feels if she got the chance to play Queenie. Her mesmerizing photogenic personality alongside her style would give her the boost we need to make this all-star cast exactly what brujas want.


READ: ‘Y Soy Rebelde’: We Recast The Popular Show With Today’s Latino Stars

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This Is How Justina Machado Went From Being A Bank Teller To Penelope In 'One Day At A Time'

entertainment

This Is How Justina Machado Went From Being A Bank Teller To Penelope In ‘One Day At A Time’

justinamachado / Instagram

If you haven’t already fallen in love with Justina Machado, take a moment to learn about the Puerto Rican actress. We’ve seen her in guest roles in many a Shonda Rhimes’ shows, and her recent stardom on Netflix’s reboot of One Day at a Time has skyrocketed her career. Machado has been in the industry for decades now, and her new platform has expanded her voice.

Here’s where she comes from and what she has to say today.

Machado was born and raised in Chicago.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

The 46-year-old Virgo was raised on the Northwest Side of Chicago, and she didn’t really spend her childhood around the arts. She actually went to a tech high school.

Her parents moved from Puerto Rico to Chicago for a better life.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She told The Chicago Tribune, “I am first-generation. My parents are from Puerto Rico. We were lower-middle class. … My family’s mentality was, go and get a good job and stay in Chicago and have a family and just be responsible and just have that real Midwestern kind of life. They just didn’t really think about anything else. Anything like (acting) was not something that was discussed in my house.”

She had a traditional quinceñeara 💃

CREDIT: @JustinaMachado / Twitter

In an interview with NPR, she confessed that her parents didn’t want to throw her a quince because of the expense, so she begged one tío to buy the cake, one prima to make the dress, and so on until it came together.

“I had no idea what the heck it was about,” she told NPR. “I didn’t even know there was a church ceremony to it. I was like, “Oh, I have to go to church?” I had no idea. To me, it was like this big party where you get to dress up and look like a child bride. … It’s so funny because I really wanted a quinceañera and then when I had one, I was like, “Man, this is so lame.”

Machado has three half-siblings.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Her parents moved to Chicago, had two children and then split up. Then, her mom remarried and had three children.

She grew up taking dance lessons.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Her parents put her through dance at the Franklin Fine Arts Center. She also liked to perform in school plays. Basically, she’s always been an entertainer.

Machado graduated from Lane Technical College Prep High School.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Caption: “Happy Mother’s Day to all!! My 8th grade graduation with my 2 favorite women. I lost my Abuela in 2006 but I still feel her everyday it’s weird I know she’s physically gone and that always makes me sad but my God did she love me when she was here and I loved her my jibarita from Patillas Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 And I’m so proud of my Mother Alicia the mother of 5..had me at 18 she was a baby. She’s always been brave and beautiful I love you mom I love you abuela❤️❤️❤️”

Machado worked as a bank teller after high school.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life until an agent with The Latino Chicago Theater Company discovered her ‘X factor.” She ended up working in 20 productions with the company within five years before she realized she was a good actress.

Then, she decided to really go for it and moved to New York City.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Caption: “#tbt 3 Chicago girls move to LA they live together in a one bedroom with only one bed and a tv one car shared between the 3 of them ..it was quite an adventure !! So much growing loving learning arguing and a whole lot of fun !! These 2 have been my GIRLS since I walked into the Latino Chicago theatre at 18 anybody who knew us back in the day knew we were never without each other and I’m so proud to say the love and codependency continues. To my Chitown loves #MargaritaOquendo@clearwaterceron well one of them is from

Elgin 😜😜love you ladies ❤️❤️❤️#whatajourney”

She attributes her experience with the Latino Chicago Theater Company during high school for her success.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

It immediately opened doors for her in NYC. She wasn’t in New York City long before she was offered professional acting roles in Los Angeles, and she hopped on a plane.

You might recognize her as love interests in a zillion shows i.e. Private Practice.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

When she first got to Los Angeles, she was cast as “Elsa” in NYPD Blue. Soon, she was taking on roles in No One Would Tell, ER, Arsenio, Malcolm & Eddie, and more. Remember, this is all in the late ’90s.

If you’re a Jane the Virgin fan, you’ll love/hate her as Darci.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She plays the mother of Jane’s half brother that you low key loved to hate, but eventually softened around after the baby hormones left her body.

Oh, and if you watch JTV, then you should probably also watch the J-Lo produced The Fosters, where she plays a super Catholic mom named Sonia Rivera for a few episodes.

Her break out role was as Vanessa Diaz in Six Feet Under.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

At first, she started out as a supporting character and quickly became loved by fans. She was elevated to the main cast for 42 episodes.

Machado never left her love for theatre.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Caption: “#fbf this is where I first met @thisiscarlajimenez this is us performing in #blackbutterfly written by the great #LuisAlfaro I fell in love with her immediately ❤️❤️”

She even performed in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first play In the Heights in 2010.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Caption: “#tbt that time I played Daniela in #intheheights on Broadway. What a dream come true❤️❤️❤️ I loved sharing the stage with the beautiful talented generous @janetdacal Happy Thursday Mi Gente”

ODAAT has given Machado a Latina character worthy of her talents.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She told PopSugar that the thing she loves most about playing Penelope on One Day at a Time is, “The layered woman that she is. A real person, you know? They didn’t have me coming out with a piñata, or dancing to some salsa. [laughs] Not that I mind, I love it all. But it’s a real person who is layered, and flawed, and she’s lovely, and she’s just a woman that I am so proud to portray. As I read the script I was like, “This is good, this is real good.”

Machado relates to her role as Penelope in that she also grew up Catholic.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She told PopSugar, “Growing up, my parents raised me Catholic. I’m not someone who really goes to church anymore, but that was the way I was raised and it was really important. In the episode, it’s kind of a thing with my mom and I. We have pictures of the Pope everywhere, and stuff like that. That’s the way I grew up, except for the pictures of the Pope. We didn’t have that. My cousins had that. I was like what the hell is this?”

Machado is so close with icon Rita Moreno, she’s seen her six pack.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Yup. Eighty-seven-year-old Rita Moreno. Machado gushed to NPR about how Moreno is 150 percent in life and, well, this: “The woman has a six pack, you know that, right? … I’m talking about her abs, OK? … She’s 85 and looks amazing. I have never been in her kind of shape my whole life. And she is just — she defies everything.”

Machado is fiercely Boricua and helped raise money for Hurricane Maria relief efforts.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

She’s helped with regular old non-celebrity sponsored donation drives, participated in “Voices for Puerto Rico” and is constantly telling her followers to vote their beliefs. Vote for people who care about your people.

Machado is hugely politically outspoken putting Latinos first in her political work and engagement.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Machado has slammed Trump over and over again for his ‘love’ for Puerto Rico. In an interview with Buzzfeed, she said “I have an uncle who’s a veteran from the Vietnam War — unlike this president who dodged the draft 5 times.”

You can catch Machado on Netflix’s One Day at a Time.

CREDIT: @justinamachado / Instagram

Which just announced it’s Season 3 air date for February 8!! The trailer teases conversations about they/them inclusive terms, vaping marijuana, and eating from the hotel minibar “like I’m made of money.” 🤑


READ: Here’s A Quick Glimpse Into Rita Moreno’s Rise From A Little Girl In Puerto Rico To America’s Abuela

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