Entertainment

13 Lessons About Love From ‘Teresa’ You Could Copy/Paste If You Want Your Life To Turn Into A Dumpster Fire

It’s long been established that we have an undying love for telenovelas. In fact, they’ve taught us so many important life lessons over the years. While we will always be eternally grateful for what they’ve taught us, some lessons haven’t been as accurate as others. Especially when it comes to L-O-V-E.

We’re sad to say that the topic of amor is totally misrepresented in novelas. While that may make them all the more interesting, it also means that it’s misguided us once or twice in the love department. However, our loss is your gain because now we can share with you all the unrealistic love lessons we’ve learned from telenovelas. Hopefully, they will help guide you down the right path in your own adventures with romance.

1. Be careful who you’re kissing. It could be an evil twin.

Instagram / @videosguiquel

Have you ever noticed that telenovelas are just full of twins? Living in a world where almost everyone has an evil doppelganger has to make dating extra hard. What’s stopping them from switching places with the good twin whenever they want?  Next time you go in for a kiss with your significant other, make sure to double check that it’s really them. Look for mysterious birthmarks or mustaches. Those are a dead giveaway for evil twins.

2. If you’re not feeling the relationship, you can always fake your own death.

Twitter / @theFlama

Have you ever been in a relationship and realized it was a mistake? You could do the grown-up thing and sit your significant other down to have an amicable breakup but where’s the drama in that. Telenovelas teach us that the proper way to approach this is to just completely ghost which can be pretty drastic if you ask us. If you DO follow telenovela advice and plan to fake your own death, don’t show up to your funeral. That’s a rookie mistake.

3. Love triangles are something you need to worry about.

Instagram / @novelalovers

Torn between two lovers? You might be in the middle of a novela and not even realize it. Telenovelas have taught us that at some point in our lives there will be two people passionately in love with us and we will have to choose between them. If you’re single now, this might give you some hope but we wouldn’t hold our breath. Real life usually isn’t as gracious with the love interests as novelas are.

4. Cheating is to be expected.

Twitter / @sin_tape

If you are stuck between two lovers, it’s no big deal. Novelas have taught us that cheating is just part of love. Hopefully, you don’t take this lesson to heart because cheating is actually a really gross thing to do. Additionally, being cheated on is the worst. This is one lesson we are happy to leave in the novelas.

5. All conflicts can be resolved with an intense kiss.

Instagram / @janethevirgin.cwcw

Chances are, if you rush up to a significant other during an argument and try to kiss them, things might not go as well as they do in the novelas. In these stories, a fiery kiss is all that is needed to end any conflict. In the real world, not so much. Use your mouth to talk it out before you move onto the smooching. Your relationship will work better that way.

6. There will always be a jealous former lover in the picture to mess things up.

Instagram / @orfaosdaterra.fc

Things are going perfect. You have someone who you love and who loves you back and the rest of your life is just as together as your romance. However, lurking in the shadows in them: that devious ex who is just waiting to trip up your happiness. Not to say this never happens in the real world but usually, we don’t have to live in a state of paranoia over our exes. That business belongs in the past and in the novelas.

7. Your makeup will always look flawless no matter what.

Twitter / @miranda_kevin

Have you just had an intense make-out session? We can’t tell because your makeup looks flawless. Just been dumped and have been crying your heart out? Your perfect face says otherwise. In telenovelas, ladies look flawless no matter what is happening in their lives. We would love this to be true because it would save a ton of time primping every morning but, alas, this is strictly a novela teaching.

8. A rich man and/or member of royalty is totally going to fall in love with you.

Twitter / @michinitwo

You are a poor girl who worked on your family’s alpaca farm and he is an undercover South America prince who falls in love with you. He whisks you away — despite objections from his family — and you live the rest of your life as a princess. Yeah right. If only it was that easy.

9. Be careful of that new novio. He might just be your long, lost half brother.

Twitter / @Alkhan_bh

Your parents had a whole life before they had you and who knows what they got up to during that time. If you go off of telenovelas, that cute guy you’ve been texting might just be your long, lost half brother. No amount of therapy can make you unsee his nudes so let’s thank goodness that real life isn’t as traumatic as novelas can be.

10. You’ll probably leave someone at the altar. That is if you don’t get left yourself.

Instagram / @fofoquente_

Marriage is a big deal but the chances that you’ll actually go through with your wedding is pretty low if you’re in a novela. Will you leave your fiance at the altar? Will they leave you? Maybe it will be a double runaway situation and neither of you will show. All we know is that weddings cost a lot of money so you might want to think it over before booking the DJ.

11. Prepare to be betrayed by your best friend.

Instagram / @alessandras_world

Your best friend may be your ride or die but they are the first person you should be suspicious of if you’re in a novela. Are they plotting against you? Trying to steal your man? Trying to steal your job? Pump the breaks on the paranoia. Hopefully, your real life isn’t as dramatic as a novela because you deserve a BFF you can trust.

12. There will be a controversial pregnancy.

Instagram / @aquenaopodiaamarr

If we were only following what we’ve learned from novelas, we’d expect a controversial pregnancy any moment now. Hopefully, we can avoid paternity tests, babies switched at birth and life-threatening pregnancies in our real life because novelas make that look way too stressful.

13. Love conquers all.

Instagram / @dannagarciaofans_

Not to be cynical but this is an important lesson that novelas get wrong. Sometimes love isn’t enough. For a relationship to work, it also takes compromise, communication, sacrifice, and understanding. Only then can love flourish and bloom the way we see it do on telenovelas. We all want that novela romance but, in the real world, it takes a little work. Still, it’s well worth it.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Everything To Stream This Month On Netflix Including Michelle Obama’s New Puppet Show

Entertainment

Everything To Stream This Month On Netflix Including Michelle Obama’s New Puppet Show

This March we’re all still in quarantine but there’s no doubt that streamers have upped their binge game! From new True Crime series to a Biggie Small documentary, there’s tons of content to binge and love this March.

Check them out below!

March 1

Biggie: I Got a Story to Tell  

Batman Begins 

Blanche Gardin: Bonne Nuit Blanche (2021)

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Dances with Wolves 

DC Super Hero Girls: Season 1

I Am Legend 

Invictus 

Jason X 

Killing Gunther 

LEGO Marvel Spider-Man: Vexed by Venom 

Nights in Rodanthe

Power Rangers Beast  : S2

Rain Man 

Step Up: Revolution 

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny 

The Dark Knight 

The Pursuit of Happyness 

Training Day 

Two Weeks Notice 

Year One 

March 2

Black or White

Word Party: Season 5 

March 3

Moxie 

Murder Among the Mormons 

Parker

Safe Haven 

March 4

Pacific Rim: The Black 

March 5

City of Ghosts 

Dogwashers 

Nevenka: Breaking the Silence 

Pokémon Journeys: The Series: Part 4 

Sentinelle 

March 8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjgwD61xooU

Bombay Begums 

Bombay Rose 

March 9

The Houseboat 

StarBeam: Season 3 

March 10

Dealer

Last Chance U: Basketball 

Marriage or Mortgage 

March 11

The Block Island Sound

Coven of Sisters 

March 12

Love Alarm: Season 2

The One 

Paper Lives 

Paradise PD: Part 3 

YES DAY 

March 14

Audrey

March 15

Bakugan: Armored Alliance

The BFG

The Last Blockbuster

The Lost Pirate Kingdom 

Zero Chill 

March 16

RebellComedy: Straight Outta the Zoo

Savages 

Waffles + Mochi 

March 17

Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal 

‘The Innocents’ Cast Test Their Supernatural Movie Knowledge

Under Suspicion: Uncovering the Wesphael Case 

March 18

B: The Beginning Succession

Cabras da Peste 

Deadly Illusions

The Fluffy Movie

Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American 

Skylines

March 19

Alien TV: Season 2  

Country Comfort 

Formula 1: Drive to Survive: Season 3

Sky Rojo 

March 20

Jiu Jitsu

March 22

Navillera

Philomena

March 23

Loyiso Gola: Unlearning 

March 24

Seaspiracy

Who Killed Sara?  

March 25

Caught by a Wave 

DOTA: Dragon’s Blood 

Millennials: Season 3

Secret Magic Control Agency

March 26

A Week Away

Bad Trip

Big Time Rush: Seasons 1-4

Croupier

The Irregulars

Magic for Humans by Mago Pop 

Nailed It!: Double Trouble 

March 29

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Rainbow High: Season 1

March 30

7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story

Octonauts & the Ring of Fire

March 31

At Eternity’s Gate

Haunted: Latin America 

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

From No-Sleep Lifestyles To ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey,’ People Talk About The Toxic Things We Tend To Glamorize

Fierce

From No-Sleep Lifestyles To ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey,’ People Talk About The Toxic Things We Tend To Glamorize

“Being able to function with minimal levels of sleep. I know I used to do that, it feels so much better to get a full night of rest though.”- iimuffinsaur

“This is my mom. I’m a very heavy sleeper. I don’t function without at least 8 – 9 hours a night. She often makes snarky comments about how she was awake at 3:30 am and working while I slept until 5. God forbid I stay in bed until 6 on a Sunday! Then I’m no better than a bum!”- Smart-Connection6154

“When I was in middle school I had stayed up all night like with friends or something and thought the feeling the next day was pretty cool and funny. did it in high school a few times here and there especially in the summer and again I was so cool. Stayed up all night a few times throughout college, either partying, hang out with friends, or studying. I would still function the next day so obviously it was no big deal just sometimes be sleep deprived. I knew what sleep deprivation felt like, I knew what exhaustion felt like. It wasn’t that bad.

Fast forward to early 30s and I’m a new mom. On more than one occasion I can recall sitting on the bathroom floor with my knees drawn up to my chest, sobbing, I can hear my daughter crying in her crib middle of the afternoon, I can feel my organs wanting to shut down and my whole body desperately trying to turn off. Mentally I was absolutely terrified that I was never again going to get to sleep. That’s no exaggeration. I was terrified out of my mind. I really did truly believed that I was dying. It had been months of nights where I was woken up every 45 minutes, only to be up for at least an hour. I was truly considering myself lucky if I got 3 hours of very broken sleep. Even before my daughter came, the third trimester I was up four or five times a night because I have an overactive bladder that was made worse by pregnancy.

When my second came along, I would have anxiety attacks about the impending sleep deprivation that I knew was going to be coming. My kids are older now, they sleep through the night no problem, if they have to get up and go to the bathroom they go themselves and if they do wake me up it’s maybe once a month. And yet I still start to panic if I can’t fall asleep at night or if I wake up during the night and can’t go back to sleep in a timely fashion. I’m so afraid of ever experiencing that level of sleep deprivation again.

Sleep deprivation is no joke.”- girlwhoweighted

“And boasting that you work 60 hours a week and never take any holidays or sick leave.”- _harro_

“If you work super duper hard and dedicate your entire life to your career you become rich! Everybody knows that! All the rich company owners told us that’s how it’s done so it must be true. They are rich after all.”- DarthTheRaider

“My job says if u call out more than 3 times you get an occurrence (basically a mark for disciplinary action). This also applies to being late. There are also a number of ways at work to get a mark as well. 4 occurrences is a warning, 5 is written warning, and 6 is termination. Meaning if you’re just having a very bad year and need to call out more than normal, you’re out of a job. I literally come into work sick because I’m terrified I’ll have some kind of windfall and need to call out in a no choice situation.

These also affect your ability to get promoted which I am trying to do. And even then it’s no guarantee. I’ve called out once in the last 12 months because I’m trying to get a new job that I’m easily qualified for but competing against fatigue worshippers who haven’t called out in years. There were a couple of times I was literally puking in the bathroom I was so sick but didn’t want to call out or go home (going home early is an occurrence).

You may say find a new job, but there are no jobs right now that pay this well. Don’t get me wrong, the pay is great for where I live and I actually like (eh maybe more tolerate easily?) the job. It’s just their culture I can’t stand.”- MasterPip 

“I’m in academia and remember in grad school being so intimidated by postdocs who kept insisting they had so much to do they worked all weekends, couldn’t take vacations, stressed all the time, etc. And this was in Europe so not a crazy work obsession like in the USA!

Made me feel so nervous that I wasn’t cut out for it because I was only doing regular hours, and now that I’m a postdoc myself I can now say those people were just insane. Maybe if you’re in a field where you need to be in the lab for research to happen it’s different, but in mine I’d say you either have terrible working habits or say yes to a ton of stuff you shouldn’t if you’re working 60+ hours every week.”- Andromeda321

“the whole idea of being a ”hustler” and never staying off the grind is extremelly toxic. everyone keeps promoting that you should always work and be productive but that just won’t work. everyone needs a balance in their lives and putting your 95% of effort into working will just drain every bit of inspiration or fun from you.”- taeslid

“I belonged to an internet group with a member who did this ALL THE TIME. No matter the topic of discussion, from working out to watching the Oscars on TV, she would always be inform the rest of us that she had no time for such things because of her job.

She worked as a communications specialist at a small town hospital.”- haloarh

“I think the most jarring part of this paradigm is that the people humble-bragging about how hard they worked and how successful they are never take the time to address the value of:

  • simple good luck (good health, good circumstances, right place right time)
  • waiting

The message is always “look at how good I’ve got it, and all because I worked so hard [implicitly harder than you because I have this and you do not therefore you must not be doing the hard work that I do]”. Obviously there is a value to working smarter not harder and capitalising on opportunities but it overlooks the basic principle that so much must have gone right for them that is beyond their control for which they now take credit.

The waiting point is a big one for me as well. People who espouse this “hard work, constant graft” attitude fail to acknowledge that sometimes in life there is a value derived from the passage of time. Sure some people get lucky and make millions at a young age or become grotesquely famous due to some twist of public interest but for most people there is a real life value in the experience gained through living your life and just turning up. You don’t need to constantly thrash yourself into moving 100mph, you don’t need to beat yourself down for taking some time to catch your breath and actually enjoy life. Sometimes you just have to keep turning the wheel for a bit, maybe it’s a few years in a job that is really good for your career or a few years just putting money in the piggybank so you can buy your first house.

We live in a world that has commercialised success stories, the narrative that you can go from “nothing” to “something” in a relatively short time using the power of your supreme genius and superhuman work ethic is saleable, on social media (celebs on instagram), in magazines, on TV etc etc. Obviously some people do hit a booster and go very fast very quickly but for just about 99.9% of us that’s a fallacy. Sometimes all you need to do is keep working at a healthy, sustained pace and focus on enjoying your time on this planet because there are no bonus points for working yourself into a state of misery.”- aightshiplords

“Severe codependent “romance”. Twilight is a good example of an extreme case of this.

Also, manipulative, possessive, and controlling behavior in a romantic partner.”- tygs42

“Yeah, what the fuck was that “break into her room at night and watch her sleep” crap?

bUt ItS TwOo LoVE!

Bullshit! it’s stalking and it’s creepy.
Him being over a hundred years old doesn’t make it any better either.”- Ruadhan2300

“Also Fifty Shades. You don’t want a Mr Grey, Karen. Women who get a Mr Grey end up in the morgue or in the women’s refuge after fleeing for their lives.”- house_autumn

“Damaged bad boys do not take breakups very well in fiction. See: Anakin Skywalker, Edward Cullen, Christian Grey, etc.”- SamaritanPrime

“Kind of along these lines, when a guy is an asshole to everyone except his girlfriend, it doesn’t mean that she’s special to him. It means he knows how to not be an asshole just enough to convince someone that he isn’t an asshole.”- SmartAlec105

“I remember my mother trying that. It backfired spectacularly when she realized I was enjoying the peace and quiet, so she just beat the shit out of me again.”- PotentialRegister8

“Ah, that was my mom…refusing to speak to me for days sometimes and I usually didn’t know why. At the time it was so stressful and I would spend that time crying and walking on eggshells trying not to upset her further. Now I’m like, uh this was going on from the time I can remember, which was 4 years old and she was an adult…who does that?!”- ummugh

“Twilight. It’s not really a healthy relationship.”- BandicootCrustybuns

“A couple I went to school with used to proudly compare their relationship to Joker and Harley Quinn.

I blame the Suicide Squad movie. It didn’t show off the absolute tragedy of Harley’s relationship with Joker and I’d say it glamourised it more than anything.”- loneOstrich

“The book/movie that really stands out for me is the 50 Shades series. He’s only sexy/romantic because he’s rich. If he were poor and got rid of her car without asking, tossed all of her clothes, tracked her phone, covered her in bruises/hickeys because he didn’t like how she behaves… He was a total shitbag…. Yet so many women thought that their relationship was amazing.”- DelicateIslandFlower

“I was raised by a single father and started to realize that when I didn’t obey out of fear or had my own arguments and opinions he kind of respected me and listened to me more. That caused me to have a very natural behaviour around men regarding my opinions.

I state them, I disagree and I am not afraid to be unlikable because of it. In the end it’s just an opinion and healthy discussions should endure this.

Also, people tend to listen to you if you are respectful, waiting for your turn to talk and state your opinion well spoken and calm, there’s no need to get hysterical or emotional because someone else disagrees with you. I feel oftentimes this might be a problem in discussions and in order to avoid that, women (no generalisation just because the question is aimed at women) often agree because they fear personal conflict.”- tingletangletits

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com