12 Things Your Mama Owned While You Were Growing Up That You Probably Own Now
Moms probably have the most influential role out of anyone else in our lives. When we were sick, they taught us how to get better. When we were having feelings, they showed us their love with pans of flan and bars of chocolate. They teach us how life should be lived, in good times and bad, and we carry all that wisdom into our adulthood.
Latina moms notoriously do things…differently than all the other moms. You know what that means? It makes us different. Here’s how to spot the Adult Child of a Latina Mom from a mile away:
1. You have HUGE bottles of Mane ‘n Tail Knock Off Horse Shampoo and Conditioner in their shower.
You can’t achieve the J.Lo ponytail without shampoo literally made for horses. You might have been raised by a Latina mom if a quarter of your shower is taken up by these bottles that are big enough to wash a horse. Pero only bobos buy brand names. If your mama ever bought you Mane ‘n Tail horse shampoo, it was a luxury item.
2. You absolutely believe in Vick’s Vapor Rub’s powers, even if you don’t want to admit it.
We made fun of our moms when they picked us up from school with the bottle of Vaporub in hand, but secretly, we believed. Now that we’re adults, we keep Vicks in the medicine cabinet alongside actual cold and flu medication just in case.
3. You have santería / brujería scattered around la casa.
Before Sephora started selling “Witch Kits” and Urban Outfitters started selling sage bundles, you were blessing your new apartment by burning sage in all the doorways, and unpacking your velas. It doesn’t look cute, packaged with a rose quartz crystal or eso mierda. It’s ritual.
4. You kept all the prayer cards your mom sent you of her patron saint.
5. Costco-sized portions of coconut oil.
Before “Goop” started blogging about the benefits of moisturizing with coconut oil, your mami was frying up tostones in the oil while you sat with coconut oil drenched hair to “let it set.”
6. You have a Cuban mop in a corner somewhere.
Yes, you bought yourself a steam mop when you first moved into your own place, but your mami refused to let you live without a Cuban mop in the house. “Confíame, am I ever wrong, mija?” Nope.
7. At least this much Goya in your pantry:
Maybe it’s all immigrant moms, but it’s definitely 100% of Latina moms that pass on the gift of food scarcity to their children. I’m not going to feel safe unless I know I’m able to either feed myself 12 times or host a spontaneous dinner party at any time.
8. You have so many socks.
Every one of your white friends either grew out of socks or just always thought they were for sissies. Not us. We protect our feet ’til death do us part.
9. You have a collection of this Polish pottery from HomeGoods:
All your tías had the same exact plates and bowls and every time you visit HomeGoods, you pick up a random piece to add to your collection. Why, yes, I do need something to pour my creamer in, so that I can then pour it into my coffee. Translation: you basically have a pottery addiction.
10. You have a dedicated drawer to condiment packets in your casa.
Maybe it’s part of food scarcity issues, and maybe it’s just good financial common sense. Either way, you have a paqueta of something tasty for your next meal, por siempre.
11. You have an evil eye hanging on your door, neck or safety pin.
You grew up knowing evil spirits were out to get you. Don’t tell good news until it’s official official or you’ll lose that promotion. And don’t even think about existing without an evil eye around your neck or in your house.
12. Lastly, it doesn’t feel like the weekend until it’s spotless and smells like Fabuloso.
We may have been admonished as children for straight up calling friends houses “sucio,” and that’s because we have a different standard of cleanliness. One thing’s for sure, it doesn’t really feel like home unless the smell of Fabuloso is in the air.
Don’t drink this at home, kids.