Culture

What PDA Is Like When You’re LGBTQIA+

Public displays of affection are the common little perks that come with being in a relationship. If you aren’t in a relationship, it can seem kind of mushy but anyone who’s coupled will tell you it’s awesome. Being able to casually hold their hand or lean in for a kiss helps to strengthen the bond you have with your partner. It’s small manifestations of the love they make you feel.

However, not everyone gets to experience this freedom in a relationship. If you’re a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, you know that PDA often works differently for you. It can be more rare — and more precious — because of our social climate. It can also be a validation of your love.

Safety is also something that often sets it apart from straight PDA. Around the globe, even here in the U.S. LGBTQ+ PDA can often be an act of bravery. Whatever the difference, it’s proof that you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community and that’s important.

We’ve gathered responses from LGBTQIA+ social media users and they gave us some incredible insights on acts of affection.

The need to cautiously avoid danger is one that straight people don’t often feel with PDA.

iStock

“I think that it’s been really hard for me to show any PDA to my girlfriend because there is a factor of ‘what if?’ And recently with so many hate crimes against POC in the LGBTQ+ I have been very cautious. It wasn’t until recently that I have been trying to go outside my comfort zone and hold my girlfriend hand or even put my head on her shoulder. I’m happy about my accomplishments in regards to being more open in public.” — @Angelina.vicenio

There is a trend of queer, femme-presenting PDA being devoured and monetized by outsiders. This writer shared the complexity she feels about this as a bisexual woman.

Swipe Life

“Now that I openly date women and femme-presenting folks, PDA is multi-layered. I still love it, but I can feel our kisses being consumed by cishet men in the vicinity. Sometimes, I can hear them whistling or calling their friends over to watch. I wish they knew that these moments aren’t for them. But queer women are so hypersexualized and fetishized that even seeing two of us on a date is perceived as an invitation.” — Gabrielle Noel, writer

PDA is a struggle if you or your partner aren’t publically out yet.

The Culture Trip

“I’m the mother of a gay son. His BF hasn’t come out yet and they can not show any type of PDA and that frustrates my son so much. They are always in the house and I feel so bad because they are missing out. I live in DC and my neighborhood has many gay couples. Love is love and wherever I go, if I hear someone speak negative about a gay couple showing affection, I shut it down immediately. I try and take my son and his BF to places where they can be themselves, but I also encourage them to be brave and to always stand up for who they are and what they deserve.” — @acro__iris__

When harrassed about PDA, abuse can run the gambit from passive mistreatment to aggressive actions.

NY Times

“Many people in my life don’t clock me as gay so I guess that counts? Once I was holding hands with a guy in downtown Riverside and got yelled “f-ggot” by some dude in a car. One time I was kissing my high school bf and my “friends” threw a hacky sack at our faces.” — @bruhjeria

This Twitter user reminds us that straight people don’t need safe places to be themselves — but LGBTQIA+ people do.

Queerty.com

“Unfortunately, it is hard to engage in minor public displays of affection (hand holding, hugging, small kisses) as a gay person due to mean stares and fears of being attacked. Pride is a safe space for me. Straight people don’t need that type of space to engage in PDA.” — @willygr8tweets

LGBTQIA+ couples are sometimes even forced to hold back during PRIDE — which should be a safe place.

The Culture Trip

“It’s a shame we still have to deal w people telling us we shouldn’t kiss or engage in pda at pride, at OUR safe space, bc it makes them ‘uncomfortable'” — @emmalejenkins_

However, allies and queer people alike still feel warm and fuzzy seeing LGBTQIA+ PDA.

Elite Daily

“Am I the only one who absolutely hates PDA but if it’s a gay/lesbian/queer couple i’m like ((((((-: <333” — @jaydee_cakess

This person reminded us that PDA is a universal right.

iStock

“‘U can be gay all u want but i don’t want to see two guys making out in public, ew’ PDA!!! IS!!! THE!!! SAME!!! DESPITE!!! WHO!!! IS!!! KISSING!!! WHO!!! WHY are two men different than a man and woman showing affection in public?” — @c_alexandraxo

Though there is still so much work to do, this Twitter user pointed out the progress the LGBTQIA+ community has seen.

OnABicycleBuiltForTwo.com

“#LancasterPride shows how far we’ve come. When I first moved here in ‘98, any same-sex PDA had to be checking all directions before gently brushing knuckles. Unless you were at the gay night at The Warehouse. Then you had to practically hump on the dance floor just to say hello.” — @RG_Bhaji

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Gloria Estefan Shares Her ‘Shocking’ Reaction To Her Daughter Coming Out

Fierce

Gloria Estefan Shares Her ‘Shocking’ Reaction To Her Daughter Coming Out

David M. Benett / Getty

The Estefans’ Red Table Talk is officially here and queer!

So get used to it!

The beloved Cuban singer and her family hosted their second episode of the Facebook Watch series Red Table Talk: The Estefans. Things got real real as she, her daughter Emily Estefan and niece Lili Estefan sat down for a raw and honest conversation about their lives and relationships.

In the second episode of ‘Red Table Talk: The Estefans‘ titled, “Emily’s Coming Out Story,” the family revealed that Gloria was shocked to learn that her “miracle baby” was queer.

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Speaking frankly, Gloria explained that her initial reaction to her daughter’s coming out was to dissuade her from telling her grandmother the truth. According to Gloria, she feared that her own mother would die from the news about Emily.

“I came out to my parents like in 2017. But as you’ll see on the show, I think they knew way before that,” Emily, who is 25-years-old Entertainment Weekly in an interview. “What I’m most excited about in this episode is the complexity of it all. I wouldn’t be doing anybody justice if I went up there and lied and said that it was easy or that there weren’t complex emotions involved, even though my mom has been such a fierce supporter of the LGBTQ community. Everybody has a perspective. And as human beings, we’re always trying to be understood instead of understanding. As you’ll see in the clip, it was difficult for me to hear that. No matter under any perspective, those words were difficult to hear.”

Sadly, Emily never had the chance to share this part of her identity with her grandmother, Gloria Fajardo.

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Fajardo passed away in 2017 before Emily had the chance to come out to her. It is unknown whether she knew of her sexual orientation before she passed away.

“That is one of my biggest unanswered questions that I will live the rest of my life with,” Emily explained “Many of the people around me that love me have told me they knew. But in my heart, my grandmother and I were so close but I’m really not sure. But that’s part of life too — you don’t get every answer that you want. I’m also learning that regrets are a waste of time. But I’m still on that journey. A few years ago, I would’ve never imagined that we’d be talking about this as I’m about to release an episode where I say things I’ve not even told family members of mine. I’m still growing and learning.”

In the latest episode of the Red Table Talk, Gloria explains that Emily became known as her “miracle baby” after she was conceived following a devastating tour bus accident in 1990.

At the time, Estefan’s doctors told her she would not be able to concieve more children. At the time, Gloria and her husband, Emilio Estefan, already had their son, Nayib Estefan. Nayib is 15 years older than his sister Emily.

In the latest interview, Emily talks about the pressures of having to live up to the concept of a “perfect daughter” that had been projected onto her by media outlets. She also addresses how she became the target of tabloid fodder in Spanish-language media after her relationship with Gemeny Hernandez was revealed.

“My parents would tell me all the time that we all have to earn respect, which I totally understand and fully agree with,” Emily explained of her experiences growing up in the spotlight. “Life is difficult and you don’t know what people’s intentions are all the time. When my dad started dating my mom, my grandma would slam the door in his face! My parents never exhibited anything extreme like that when it came to my relationships, but they would remind me what their courtship was like. I would let them know that we’re going through similar things, but in different colors. Life is about repetition and trying to pick up new things along the way. My grandma came from a time where she didn’t go on a date with my grandpa until they had their marriage certificate, and even then her mom was chaperoning them. They didn’t kiss until they were married.”

Emily revealed that she and her girlfriend Gemeny have been together for almost four years now and that she has been welcomed as part of the Estefan family.

“Family dynamics are hard, no matter what,” Emily went onto share. “Gem is one of those people who is like a mirror: She came into my life and showed me my truth. Sometimes that’s not beautiful, but that’s what love is. It’s not beauty or dates or romance all the time, but all of the things that come with love. I’m really young, but I feel that having her by my side has made me truly understand what a loving, adult relationship is like. That’s why it’s been so easy for me to fight this fight and speak my truth, because it’s all worth it. She helped me be brave. Now she has a relationship with my family which is the incredible part and can maybe be explored in season 2? Having her come to sit at the table and talk about those dynamics. Everybody loves each other, but as I said, love isn’t easy. And you know what it’s like being a part of a Latino family. The baby starts dating somebody, even if it’s Mickey Mouse, they still wouldn’t think he’s good enough!”

The second episode of the Estefan’s Red Table Talk, “Emily’s Coming Out Story,” debuted this past Wednesday, Oct. 14, at noon ET on Facebook Watch.

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Latinos Share What They Admire About Their Parents- “They got dirt, *poop* and oil on their hands so I would never have to”

Entertainment

Latinos Share What They Admire About Their Parents- “They got dirt, *poop* and oil on their hands so I would never have to”

Peter Turnley / Getty

You don’t have to be Latino to know how amazing and full of strength our parents are. Hard-working, filled to the brim with love and wisdom, Latino parents (whether still with us, deceased or pulling the weight of their household on their own) are the backbone of just about every Latino community (big or small).

To celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month and the parents and abuelos who raised us we posed the question below.

From the question came an outpouring of answers and love.

Check them out below.

“Their bravery in coming here and the fact that they never settled for o.k.”- tlabax

“Definitely got to say i admire everything about my mother. The fact that she’s a single mother and not only raised me but others children as well all by herself. Worked several jobs throughout the years and still came home with no sleep all to take care of her loved ones. i’ve never met anyone more selfless, more caring, or more protective. As i’ve grown older i realize just how much her acts of kindness go such a long way for those around her. She is someone to live up to. I’d count myself lucky to be half the women she is today. Shes the one person i truly admire in this lifetime.”-v.mozqueda

“My parents dedication and commitment to giving us a life they never had the sacrifice to make sure that our family unit was a healthy one even if that meant apologizing to each other or to even us the unconditional love they showed even when we have wronged them and or fucked up in the worse way my parents are great and still show this and they deserve it all.”- alexis__polanco__


“My mother instilled a very strong work ethic in me. She was a single mother and never gave up. I am grateful she showed me what STRONG meant.”-jrespinosa93


“What I admire about my parents that they are so hardworking and have made so many sacrifices for me and my sister. They never give up and have been through a lot and have sticked together for more then 30 years.”-jocy_villas

“Serious answer though… they lived in so many countries when I was a child finally settling here in the United States. 🤷🏽‍♀️I have a panic attack about moving down the street , I can’t imagine picking up and leaving everything and everyone I love behind to start over in a strange country for the good of my kids .. talk about 10 toes down.”-420mee

“They got dirt, sh*t and oil on their hands so I would never have to.”- nrodriguez1322


There unconditional love, support and commitment to each other. 44 years together and counting.”- toyitabonita23


“Talking about my mamá….that she is an incredible mentor to countless women in her life…she has always been that way and somehow she is kind of unaware of that? She just does it, expecting nothing in return.”-camilabelen2

“Everything!! But at the top of my head at this moment I’d say their work ethic.”-mrsdelarosa0810

“The courage it took to leave their home in Cuba without knowing the language or culture, just to give their kids a better life. Te quiero Papa y Mamita.”-misael.929

“Shoot what don’t I admire about my mother? I admire the courage both my parents had by coming here with nothing and starting a new life. I admire how hard my mother worked, having two jobs and not speaking the language all just so she could provide for us. Gracias Mamí! I love you!”-jannet_pinon

“Their commitment to their children to be better educated, better life, better human beings with other people, to be proud of who we are and where we come from, to be good representatives of our countries so people change the stereotypes, of who we are.”-mangelinarmelvin

“Their communication and their dedication of raising their daughters to be prepare for the future. Strict or whatever I just know they want the best for us. I can’t wait to teach my children the same. Truly bless for their commitment of giving us everything especially love.”-shata_101

“My father worth ethic he instilled that into me and my siblings. And my moms lucha in everything that she did and still does.”-sjmomz

“My mom raised us in a single parent household. We never went to bed hungry, we were provided the essentials food, schooling. She never asked for assistance from anyone. She worked and still works very hard.”-2damoon4ever

“They loved each other until they passed away.”-ednamode50

“That they came to this country and nothing stopped them from accomplish their goals.”-tori_rose30

“They adopted me and provided for me despite being older people already.”-marquez_divasi

“Perseverance. Cuando se quiere se puede.”-themelissas

“The fact that I am still alive with this mouth of mine… I would’ve beat me😂😂. Every time My step kids do you some thing I call my parents and apologize.”-420mee


“they left everything in mexico to give their families a better future & they always put the needs of their family before their own.”-asusena_castillo15

“My mom is the toughest person I’ve ever met she’s a badass.”-guillermo83az

“Their determination to make a home in new place 100’s of miles away from their families. Their determination to learn a new language, and strive for more even when faced with opposition and heavy trials! For loving each other with every obstacle presented in the past 35 yrs, for teaching me and my sisters these and many more qualities! May we be a 10th of who they are and their amazing resilience to be more and achieve more!”-mcamakeupco

“The amount of strength they have to create a life for their family and still have compassion for others. Taking a very scary journey to get to America and never even talking about all they went thru. I never even heard my moms coming to America story until I was 23. Still haven’t heard the complete story only in pieces.”-haydeliko

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