Culture

What PDA Is Like When You’re LGBTQIA+

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Public displays of affection are the common little perks that come with being in a relationship. If you aren’t in a relationship, it can seem kind of mushy but anyone who’s coupled will tell you it’s awesome. Being able to casually hold their hand or lean in for a kiss helps to strengthen the bond you have with your partner. It’s small manifestations of the love they make you feel.

However, not everyone gets to experience this freedom in a relationship. If you’re a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, you know that PDA often works differently for you. It can be more rare — and more precious — because of our social climate. It can also be a validation of your love.

Safety is also something that often sets it apart from straight PDA. Around the globe, even here in the U.S. LGBTQ+ PDA can often be an act of bravery. Whatever the difference, it’s proof that you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community and that’s important.

We’ve gathered responses from LGBTQIA+ social media users and they gave us some incredible insights on acts of affection.

The need to cautiously avoid danger is one that straight people don’t often feel with PDA.

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“I think that it’s been really hard for me to show any PDA to my girlfriend because there is a factor of ‘what if?’ And recently with so many hate crimes against POC in the LGBTQ+ I have been very cautious. It wasn’t until recently that I have been trying to go outside my comfort zone and hold my girlfriend hand or even put my head on her shoulder. I’m happy about my accomplishments in regards to being more open in public.” — @Angelina.vicenio

There is a trend of queer, femme-presenting PDA being devoured and monetized by outsiders. This writer shared the complexity she feels about this as a bisexual woman.

Swipe Life

“Now that I openly date women and femme-presenting folks, PDA is multi-layered. I still love it, but I can feel our kisses being consumed by cishet men in the vicinity. Sometimes, I can hear them whistling or calling their friends over to watch. I wish they knew that these moments aren’t for them. But queer women are so hypersexualized and fetishized that even seeing two of us on a date is perceived as an invitation.” — Gabrielle Noel, writer

PDA is a struggle if you or your partner aren’t publically out yet.

The Culture Trip

“I’m the mother of a gay son. His BF hasn’t come out yet and they can not show any type of PDA and that frustrates my son so much. They are always in the house and I feel so bad because they are missing out. I live in DC and my neighborhood has many gay couples. Love is love and wherever I go, if I hear someone speak negative about a gay couple showing affection, I shut it down immediately. I try and take my son and his BF to places where they can be themselves, but I also encourage them to be brave and to always stand up for who they are and what they deserve.” — @acro__iris__

When harrassed about PDA, abuse can run the gambit from passive mistreatment to aggressive actions.

NY Times

“Many people in my life don’t clock me as gay so I guess that counts? Once I was holding hands with a guy in downtown Riverside and got yelled “f-ggot” by some dude in a car. One time I was kissing my high school bf and my “friends” threw a hacky sack at our faces.” — @bruhjeria

This Twitter user reminds us that straight people don’t need safe places to be themselves — but LGBTQIA+ people do.

Queerty.com

“Unfortunately, it is hard to engage in minor public displays of affection (hand holding, hugging, small kisses) as a gay person due to mean stares and fears of being attacked. Pride is a safe space for me. Straight people don’t need that type of space to engage in PDA.” — @willygr8tweets

LGBTQIA+ couples are sometimes even forced to hold back during PRIDE — which should be a safe place.

The Culture Trip

“It’s a shame we still have to deal w people telling us we shouldn’t kiss or engage in pda at pride, at OUR safe space, bc it makes them ‘uncomfortable'” — @emmalejenkins_

However, allies and queer people alike still feel warm and fuzzy seeing LGBTQIA+ PDA.

Elite Daily

“Am I the only one who absolutely hates PDA but if it’s a gay/lesbian/queer couple i’m like ((((((-: <333” — @jaydee_cakess

This person reminded us that PDA is a universal right.

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“‘U can be gay all u want but i don’t want to see two guys making out in public, ew’ PDA!!! IS!!! THE!!! SAME!!! DESPITE!!! WHO!!! IS!!! KISSING!!! WHO!!! WHY are two men different than a man and woman showing affection in public?” — @c_alexandraxo

Though there is still so much work to do, this Twitter user pointed out the progress the LGBTQIA+ community has seen.

OnABicycleBuiltForTwo.com

“#LancasterPride shows how far we’ve come. When I first moved here in ‘98, any same-sex PDA had to be checking all directions before gently brushing knuckles. Unless you were at the gay night at The Warehouse. Then you had to practically hump on the dance floor just to say hello.” — @RG_Bhaji

‘Fuller House’ Actor And Certified Daddy Juan Pablo Di Pace Comes Out And Yasss

Culture

‘Fuller House’ Actor And Certified Daddy Juan Pablo Di Pace Comes Out And Yasss

juanpablodipace / Instagram

Argentinian actor Juan Pablo Di Pace recently came out in a TEDx video recorded in March. The video was released in late June giving Di Pace’s coming out story a special place in the 2019 Pride Month calendar. Social media erupted in applause and praise for the actor living his truth after so much time hiding in the closet.

Juan Pablo Di Pace came out of the closet as a gay man and is already living it up.

That’s right. Di Pace was living it up in Madrid during pride not long after the video of his talk coming out of the closet was publish. Honestly, it is something everyone should be celebrating. Someone being able to live their life fully is something that some people will never be able to understand. There is an attitude of in the Latino community that tries to shun and silence the LGBTQ+ community. Seeing a prominent member of the Latino community sharing his coming out story is such a positive example for younger people struggling to come out.

Di Pace’s coming out via a TEDx is one of the greatest moments of Pride Month 2019.

Not only did Di Pace come out of the closet, but his story about coming out and learning who he is is also very relatable to most members of the LGBTQ+ community. It wasn’t like he figured out that he was different. It had to be told to him.

“My mother says that I came out of her womb with a paper and pencil in my hand and that I used to draw until I fell asleep, which is why I had very few friends. But, actually, the truth is that, unlike most of the boys in my class, I preferred to play with girls. I was more comfortable. They were more fun,” Di Pace told the audience at his TEDx talk. “So, I didn’t think anything of it, right? Until I heard a word that I had never heard before. It started like a thunder that got closer and louder to me as it exploded like egg in my face: marícon, faggot. Well, I didn’t really understand that word at first but the word was here to stay for years. A little know book, as you might know as the Bible, starts with, ‘In the beginning, was the word and the word was made flesh and it dwelt among us.’ So, after failed attempts to fight against this word and try to make friends, my only option was to make friends with white sheets of paper. Paper would not shout or kick me. Paper was kind and on paper everything and anything was possible, just like in the movies.”

The moment of being made to feel and know that you are different from everyone else is something most people deal with at the beginning of coming out. It is a harsh, and some times dangerous, moment that starts the process of coming out and learning who you are as a person.

Fans of the actor showered him with praise and love for coming out.

Credit: judygeitz / Instagram

Coming out, no matter how old you are or how successful you are, is a terrifying experience. You have to be prepared for people to shun you. You need to be ready for people to speak down to you. It is not an easy or fun process for a lot of people.

The emotional reception to Di Pace’s coming is filled with love and appreciation.

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This is something the Di Pace should be so proud of. It is so important for people to come out of the closet. By coming out of the closet, you force others around you to confront their own ideas of the LGBTQ+ community. When people know someone personally who is LGBTQ+, they tend to become more accepting of the community allowing for more people to come out in a safer environment.

You are with your chosen family now, Juan.

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All people in the LGBTQ+ community understand the importance of a chosen family. Even if your family accepts you, it is important to have a chosen family. It is a way to learn what it means to be gay and how to live life open in a world that can sometimes be really cruel. Your family will want to help but it is hard for your mom and dad to teach about LGBTQ+ culture.

Congratulations on coming out Juan. Sending lots of love.

READ: Grab The Tissues! These Latinas Told Us Their Coming Out Stories And We Have Been Sobbing In Pride

AOC Went To A Drag Show And It Is The Most Beautiful Moment Captured On Social Media

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AOC Went To A Drag Show And It Is The Most Beautiful Moment Captured On Social Media

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a champion of the people and the biggest villain according to Republicans. Whenever AOC does anything, conservatives have a lot to say about it. AOC’s latest outing to a drag club in New York City is the latest moment of celebration.

Alexandria Oscasio-Cortez proves that Pride is not just one month but all year long.

“You are special. You are beautiful. You are accepted and let’s give a big round of applause for our artist,” AOC tells the crowd as they go wild for her.

All the performers who had a chance took their photo with the most recognizable Congresswoman currently serving.

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“Activist & politician @ocasio2018 was @bartschlandfolliestonight & we all couldn’t have been more thrilled! I felt ultra #patriotic performing my #patriotact for this special audience that was chanting her initials,” Dirty Martini wrote on Instagram. “Fight that good fight for what this country deep down is really about- equality, liberty & peace! ❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸”

The drag queens and kings could feel themselves becoming more and more patriotic.

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“Equality and social justice for all with a dash of showgirl❤️
AOC @ocasio2018 in the house at the @bartschlandfollies last night! I admittedly was majorly fan girling!!!! One of the most present and beautiful audiences I’ve experienced to date, they were screaming her initials as she cheered us on front and center all night, even telling us all how much we were loved and welcome and accepted when Joey arias invited her on stage,” Marcy Richardson wrote on Instagram. “And I just thought, man, what a reason to actually feel patriotic this weekend. She’s not afraid to be here with us. ALL of us. You give us all hope❤️❤️
#alexandriaocasiocortez #bartschland #bartschlandfollies #aoc #mckittrickhotel #happyfourth

It’s fair to say that AOC had a great time with the performers and her allyship with the LGBTQ+ community is unquestionable.

Credit: murrayhill / Instagram

“The inspiring and formidable @ocasio2018 attended the @bartschland Follies show @themckittrick last night in NYC. She brought hope to the room and showed us 🇺🇸 future! Her choice words, ‘Be who you are. You are beautiful. You are accepted.’ 🏳️‍🌈,” Murray Hill wrote on Instagram. “In this pix, I’m saying, ‘I’m standing next to a future president!’ The 2nd pix, I’m thanking her for her work, speaking out, and fighting the good fight. #aoc #4thofjuly #resist #showbiz

AOC’s actions since taking office show that she is an unapologetic LGBTQ+ rights activist.

Credit: @AOC / Twitter

The Congresswoman from New York was there for Queens Pride despite a cold that she was battling. She explained that she just couldn’t let her exquisite crushed velvet suit hide during the pride celebrations.

She is here to support the LGBTQ+ community no matter what she is doing, like just attending pride.

Credit: @kalpenn / Twitter

Honestly, just look at how excited she is to be out and about among the LGBTQ+ community at Pride. AOC has set herself apart from other members of Congress with her unapologetic fight for the LGBTQ+ community.

She even made an impassioned speech for LGBTQ+ rights in a post-marriage equality world that has energized the community.

AOC is fighting a fight so many don’t realize needs to be fought. The fight to make PrEP free to the public is one that more people need to get behind. The U.S. taxpayers paid for the research that created Truvada, a daily pill with a 99 percent success rate in preventing the transmission of HIV. Gilead, the pharmaceutical company selling Truvada is selling it back to the people who funded the research at $2,000 a month because of a patent. The price point is forcing many people vulnerable to the disease unprotected and risking lives needlessly.

Oh, and she is a major “RuPaul’s Drag Race” fan so we hope to see her at more drag shows in the future.

Credit: @AOC / Twitter

Thank you for standing up for our community, AOC.

READ: Pabllo Vittar Is The Superstar Brazilian Drag Queen The World Has Come To Love Because Of Their Unapologetic Persona

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