We Asked, And These Are The 14 Weirdest Junk Food Meals You Eat
GUYS. Here we are again, the single most important day of the year.
Each year, the sun rises and sets on National Junk Food Day and it’s our civic, journalistic duty to get elbow-deep into what you’ve told us are your favorite Latino junk foods.
Yup, today we’re sinking teeth into the 14 wackiest, más loco creations that humanity has ever inflicted upon its arteries. Get ready for food porn that will have your mouth and eyeballs watering.
These sickening Dorilocos.
We’re kicking off with this beautiful tray of dorilocos. Why? It’s basically salad.
And by salad we mean little tiny irregular shapes that go everywhere when you dig in. The similarities end there, because, well, it’s all crispy dorito chips, cueritos (pickled pork rinds), jicama, crunchy japonés peanuts… and the occasional gummy bear.
Dorilocos may look suspiciously similar to a child’s lunchbox that came open in his/her backpack, but don’t be fooled – it’s finger licking good. It’s usually eaten out of a bag of Doritos that is sliced open sideways and topped off with lime juice, chili powder, salsa Valentina and chamoy.
It’s funky, it’s madness and we live for it. Two of your five a day.
These hot cheetos carne asada fries – yell that five times fast.
Mmm, baby. What’s not to love? This Cali classic hits all the right spots with its oozy, cheesy and fatty setup. Shoestring fries, charred carne asada, guac, sour cream, melted cheese and Cheetos (extra points if they’re flaming hot). 2,000 calories just looks so good on a plate.
These small but mighty Jicaletas.
What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced jicama. On a stick.
Genius takes popsicle form in this crunchy treat that is oh-so-fresca. Jicaleta is, unsurprisingly, the lovechild of the ice lolly, paleta, and the beloved jicama fruit.
Jicaleta is often sold by street vendors next to trays and trays of powdered sugar in unicorn shades. They may resemble the sand-art stations of your younger years, but don’t be fooled – these sour treats pack a bite. The jicama is first slathered in chamoy syrup, then tossed in a cascade of colored sugar. Oooof.
This fearsome Diablito from the depths of hell.
The name ‘little devil’ does kinda give it away. They’re pica, hell-fire red and may or may not make you cry.
This spicy cocktail is usually made from crushed lime or mango flavored ice, Taijin, chamoy, lemon and salt. They’re often garnished with a Tama Roca straw, dried fruit – whatever else you like really, as long as it’s outrageous. Evil has never tasted so good.
This OTT elote from Elotes Asados San Rafael.
Looking a little somewhere between a hunk of corn on the cob and fried chicken, these are not your regular elote fare. These elotes have the dial turned up on extra.
Maybe it’s coating them in crunchy Dorito crumbs or taki dust, maybe it’s smothering them in chipotle sauce, cheese and carne asada. The one in the photo comes from a little stall called Elotes Asados San Rafael Tamaulipas, Mexico, that has become a local sensation for their outlandish elote creations. They supposedly sell 200 – 300 of their wacky flavors a day.
This glistening bag of Dorilotes.
Elote in a bag of Doritos chips was always going to be a good idea. Dorilotes is similar to Dorilocos, except that the corn is non-negotiable. This doesn’t really need much explanation, just gaze upon it. Mmmmmm.
These never-to-be-underestimated, pepino locos.
Whoever said cucumbers were mild and meek?
These Mexican pepinos locos are hollowed-out cucumbers that are crusted with chamoy, then stuffed with jicama and tamarind candy and Japanese peanuts. They look like little cups, so it’s no wonder they’re sometimes served with clamato inside.
These monstrous Sandias Locas.
The distant cousin of the pepino loco, the best bit of the sandia (watermelon) loca is probably its XXL capacity. And that means all the more room for madness – whether it’s fruits, pepino, Tama Roca tamarindo, scoops of ice cream, Corona bottles – whatever floats your boat. Don’t forget the chamoy and Salsaghetti candy.
This very intriguing Chocodilla de Baby Ruth.
Guatemalan Taco Bell really outdid itself when they introduced the chocodilla de Baby Ruth a few years back. Whilst it does sound a little like a 4am drunken reaction to an empty pantry, we can also imagine it being really, reaaaally delicious. This flour tortilla is filled with a smushed American candy bar made of peanuts, caramel, milk chocolate-flavored nougat and more chocolate.
Giving the people what they never really asked for, but are for damn sure going to try anyway.
This lip-smacking chilindrina chicharron.
It takes one hot mess to know one, and these chilindrina chicharrónes are absolutely to die for. It’s a colourful party on top and that’s definitely not pita bread underneath.
Fried pork skin is used as the base for a mouth-watering mixture of chopped lettuce, sliced avocado, tomatoes, and the cheese, limon and sourcream that tops it all off.
This visual masterpiece that is salchipapas Colombiana.
If this bowl isn’t art, we don’t know what is.
Salchipapas typically involve a lot of thinly sliced pan-fried sausages mixed with a ton of French fries. Throw a savory coleslaw on top, and add in whatever you please to the mix – it could be fried egg, corn, cheese, plantain slices and much more. You’ll usually get a real mix of sauces too – including ketchup, mustard and olive sauce. Just be prepared to get messy
Mr. Full is a restaurant in Barranquilla, Colombia that’s responsible for gigantic trays of salchipapa, and towering piles of other junk food. Go feast your eyes here.
This majestic Guacamaya de León.
These monsters are said to originate from Guanajuato, Mexico and are a treat to whip up at home.
The bolillos are toasted so that they’re golden and crispy on the outside, then slices of avocado are added, or smushed on the sides of the bread. It’s then packed with slabs of chicharron pork crackling until breaking point – then all topped off with a delicious spicy salsa.
These sweet Marquesita darlings.
Is it a crepe? Is it a waffle cone? Nah, it’s an amazing Yucatan street food that’s made from pouring batter into a heating iron, and adding sweet or savory fillings! Take a bite and you could find anything from cajeta and lechera, to ham and cheese inside.
We dare you to have just one.
Last but definitely not least… this. Whatever this is: