This Latina Came Up With A Genius Hack For All Those Requests For Booty Selfies
If you’re dealing with an influx of requests for booty pics, Monica Escalante has got a solution for you. This savvy Latina uses the app Wit Puzzles to give her prospective beaus what they want, all the while making them work for it.
Modern romance, what even is it? What did old people do in the past? Talk in person about their interests? Well, I haven’t got time for that, I am a well-educated, sophisticated woman; I’ve got “Drake is Dominican” memes to collect for my Master’s thesis. My parents met when they were 13 in the 1600s or whenever, I don’t know. All I know is hip hop wasn’t even invented yet. They’re still together. Love isn’t dead it’s just old. As I like to say, out with the old, in with the new.
Meet this innovative queen.
Monica Escalante is a mere 18 years old and already shifting the paradigm of the modern sext. She and her friends have been using the Wit Puzzles app. The app turns any photo into a sliding puzzle game. You send the game to a friend for them to solve. It sounds fun and innocent, and yet… When a gentlemen caller requested a butt pic, as gentlemen callers do, Escalante decided to turn her derriere into a puzzle. Her mind!
“My friends and I would just send random pics and see who would solve them the fastest and then an idea hit me and I was like wait, he wants a booty pic I’m gonna make him work for it,” she told BuzzFeed News. “So I just decided to send my booty pic as a puzzle.”
Would you want to date a guy who can’t solve a simple puzzle?
Escalante’s tweet went viral with over 56,000 likes. Most importantly, her man friend was able to solve it. Imagine if he couldn’t? How embarrassing that would be for everyone involved. I shudder to think!
“I am pretty sure he liked it, he solved it super fast, in less than 5 minutes with 34 moves,” she said.
This isn’t a lifestyle it’s a movement.
Whenever anyone has a good idea, it is bound to be imitated by others. The slide puzzle booty shot isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a movement. This is the next frontier of sexting. Don’t just give these dweebs your precious nudes, test them. How can we incorporate the Pythagorean Theorem? Yo, my guy, you have to know how to solve for X if you want to access my catalog of nudes.
Unfortunately, others tried this technique and, naturally, some men were too “limited” to understand the proposition.
Men were disarmed by this new collective bargaining chip. Great, that’s the whole point. Some felt this was a technique reserved for the elderly. That just seems like further proof this is a wise choice.
“Damn I got to solve puzzles to get nudes nowadays. How old are we, 77?” One person responded.
Another person praised the genius of the booty pic sender, as one should.
I mean this is a legit creative way to answer those damn requests Requests for nudes that guys always be slipping in them DMs and texts.
Thank this humble queen.
Escalante isn’t asking for monuments to be erected in her image as she should. Instead, she is a mere humble goddess who is satisfied with people liking her idea.
“The reaction from Twitter has been amazing, people love it and I’ve been getting DMs from girls and guys doing it,” said Escalante. “I’m glad they’re having fun with it.”
When I think of making men solve puzzles to earn intimacy, I think of the eternal words from one of history’s greatest masters of the English language. “We found love in a hopeless place” — Rihanna. Yes, but we still found it.