This Is Not A Drill: Taco Bell Wants You To Blend Their Tacos Into A Bisque And Serve It For Thanksgiving Dinner
Thanksgiving is arguably the tastiest night of the year. Many of us look forward to the autumnal feast all year. I don’t know abut you but I dream of Cranberry sauce and stuffing for months, and what’s exciting is that it’s a menu that we all love and trust. Turkey? Check. Winter squash? Check. Potatoes? Check. Taco Bell’s Rolled Chicken Tacos Bisque? Okay, well, that one doesn’t sound quite as exciting. But the American taco chain wants you to try it.
Why not? Maybe sticking a few rolled tacos into the blender with a little heavy cream won’t taste too bad —what we do know is that our Mexican ancestors, are turning in their graves.
The food chain came up with the recipe, and it wants you to serve blended Taco Bell Rolled Chicken Tacos at your traditional holiday dinner.
Taco Bell has taken your mother’s smooth, creamy bisque recipe and turned it into its Rolled Chicken Tacos Bisque. The food chain released the recipe to this horrifying concoction on its blog for all to use —if you’re feeling adventurous.
Hit up your nearest Taco Bell for the most crucial ingredients in the recipe.
First up, you’ll have to head to your local Taco Bell and order a Rolled Chicken Taco party pack, which includes six Rolled Chicken Tacos and six Crunchy Tacos. Then, shop for the rest of the ingredients in the list: garlic, onion, broth, heavy whipping cream and cilantro. Taco Bell recommends using a cast iron stockpot because for some reason, the fast food chain doesn’t play around with regular pots.
And now for the horrifying recipe:
It starts like any other recipe; sauté your onion and garlic. Add the cilantro and heavy cream and reduce the flame to a simmer, until the mixture becomes delightfully aromatic, blah, blah blah.
Now brace yourself for the most important and sacrilegious part.
Take four Rolled Chicken Tacos and cut them into quarts —because apparently the culinary team that came up with this recipe at Taco Bell, are not an absolute savages— and plop them into your soup mixture.
Reduce the heat and simmer for 10 minutes. While simmering, you should take a moment to reflect on what you’ve just done and how it will impact the rest of your life —this step is not in Taco Bell’s recipe, but it seems necessary after you’ve just profanated the cultural patrimony of an entire nation by turning it into soup. You will need to simmer.
Blend the tacos into a soup…
Take the lumpy, semi-liquid mixture, and blend it with a cup of heavy whipping cream like a demented fast-food Julia Child until it becomes a creamy “bisque.” At this point, you will never be able to reverse what you have done and must garnish it as if everything were fine, and you were fine, and your friends and family will be fine after consuming it. Garnish options include cheese, a lime wedge or cilantro.
And finally, for the cherry on top:
The finishing touch for your Frankenstein-esque concoction, is the addition of two tacos on the side. For dipping. You will then be able to dip those tacos in their own weird taco juice and call it a meal ¡Provecho!
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