Culture

These Quesadilla Fails Will Make You Wonder How It’s Possible For People To Mess Up A Tortilla With Cheese

How can you perfect Mexican food? You can start by not attempting to change it. Experimenting with food is fun, yes, and can be quite adventurous but be aware it won’t taste the same. It’s no surprise that Mexican food is beloved by all, so people have taken liberties when it comes to making their own kind of Mexican dish. However, what ends up happening is quite the opposite of Mexican food. The result is a whole big mess. We’re not advising to not be creative when it comes to cooking, we’re saying Mexican food — when made authentically — is so damn delicious so why fix what isn’t broken? Watch just how many ways people can screw up a tortilla with melted cheese.

Deep-fried BBQ pizza quesadilla disaster.

Early last month, Twisted, a UK-based, food website, published a video that included a detailed recipe on how to make a deep-fried BBQ pizza quesadilla. In other words, how to combine three dishes into one. The result was a grotesque meal that could perhaps equal to a heartache. People on social media were blown away by how ridiculous food creators would go to make something so unappealing. We know you’re curious to try it so if you’d like to make it, be our guest, but you can easily purchase a deep dish pizza and it’ll be the same thing. 

A quesadilla-ranch dressing mess.

We love ranch dressing too, but on a salad not on a damn quesadilla. This dude included pre-cooked chicken, with bell peppers, mozzarella, and ranch dressing all inside the tortilla before cooking it. It might sound like a healthy quesadilla, but it’s not, especially not after you add half the bottle of dressing. Why must people always add ranch to everything!?

If your tortilla falls on the ground, don’t eat it.

As we said before, cooking is fun. We love playing music and dancing along while making dinner. It just makes the act of cooking so much more enjoyable. The issue with this guy in the video is that he’s having way too much fun. He’s cooking his quesadilla as if he were making a pizza. He starts flipping and tossing the tortilla as if it was pizza dough and then bam…right on the floor. 

Protip: Lower the heat. 

Credit: @thettle 12 / Twitter

We know you’re hungry and want food to prepare asap, but that doesn’t mean turning up the heat to high. Tortillas are delicate, so adding a high heat will only create a sad and pathetic quesadilla like the one above. But hey, go ahead and eat it because you don’t have much of a choice. 

People are so funny and terrible at doing basic things.

To make a quesadilla, the only thing you need — aside from a tortilla and cheese — is a skillet or a comal. You certainly do not need to trouble yourself with a quesadilla maker! But as a side note, whoever invented the quesadilla maker is seriously ripping people off. Then again, it’s a perfect gadget for people who don’t know how to flip a tortilla because it might be too hot like it was for this guy. 

This “Cheesy Chicken Layer Quesadilla” is not a quesadilla.

It’s totally fine if you want to add a whole bunch of ingredients into your quesadilla, but the more you add the less quesadilla it is. Take this layered-quesadilla. It has chicken, corn, beans, and cheese. So basically what you have here is an enchilada or an enchilada lasagne. If you need a fork to eat your quesadilla, then it’s not a quesadilla!

This is not a quesadilla, it’s a fajita!

Credit: @LosJimadoresOH / Twitter

We don’t know where to start with this mess. It’s sort of a fajita, but then they added shrimp, so forget the whole thing. It’s just a meal inside of a tortilla. 

Here’s how you truly make an authentic Mexican quesadilla.

Please follow these directions. All you need is a flour (or corn) tortilla, cheese (any kind you like!) and that’s it. A little bit of butter or oil on the comal and you’ll have yourself a tasty quesadilla, but please make more than one because one will not be enough. 

Happy cooking! And remember the fewer ingredients you have, the better your food will be. 

READ: Just When You Thought The Unicorn Craze Was Done, One Food Truck Has Created The Unicorn Quesadilla

We’ve All Experienced These Chaotic Fails While Dancing To ‘Payaso De Rodeo’ At A Party

Entertainment

We’ve All Experienced These Chaotic Fails While Dancing To ‘Payaso De Rodeo’ At A Party

caballo_dorado_oficial / Instagram

I was 17 and dating a girl whose family held weekly parties with a DJ and plenty of cerveza, tequila, and dancing. I was the nerdy type and her cousins were all the kind of kids who went clubbing and had much more life savviness than me. So I wanted to make a good impression and be open and sociable, and less of a comic-book-reading geek who was dating the cool girl.

But along came my predicament: a song so impressive in its silliness and so complex in its hyperactive rhythm that it seemed impossible for any human being to dance to. How do you even move your body to that! But, lo and behold, even the abuelita stood up and, cane in hand, danced to the cursed “Payaso de Rodeo”. I stumbled and fell. I tried and fell again. I tried and stepped on abuelo’s toe (he gave me una mirada de miedo). The tías laughed at my clumsiness and the primas went “qué tierno” at my timid efforts to tame the indomitable music of Caballo Dorado. The lyrics would sometimes come to me in my nightmares… “ven, ven, ven, animalito ven…”

If you have ever been to a Mexican party then chances are that you have had to join the line and make a fool of yourself.

Credit: MakeAGIF

The songs “Payaso de Rodeo” and “No Rompas Más” (which is a Spanish version of “Achy Breaky Heart”)  are true social glue. They make everyone make a fool of themselves and therefore put us all on an equal playing field when you first start learning the dance. It seems simple but it requires excellent eye-feet coordination and group cohesion. The most common casualties are bruised toes and broken toenails when fellow dancers accidentally step on you with their tacones and botas.

Dancing to Caballo Dorado is a rite of passage.

Credit: Me.Me

What sorcery is this?!

And even if someone teaches you the moves, there is still a good chance that you might make a fool of yourself.

Credit: Tiburcio / YouTube

As at least two generations of Latinos know, the raised hand that starts the dance makes more people leave the dance floor than a potent fart. You will have to practice in your room before attempting it in public.

So these four Mexican musicians are to blame for all those ridiculous moves we have all made.

Credit: caballo_dorado_oficial / Instagram

This band was formed by Eduardo “Lalo” Gameros, his brothers Gustavo and Gerardo, and their friends Freddy and Jorge Navarro. The band from Chihuahua got together in 1986 and struggled to get their footing in the industry. But after 30 years they remain one of the most played bands in Mexican history. Christenings, primeras comuniones, weddings and we are sure that even some funerals play their greatest hits.

And some people make more attempts to dance Caballo Dorado’s hits than they have tried anything else in life.

Credit: @davaaaa / Twitter

And failing is probably more frustrating than having to repeat a driving test multiple times. You will get there, guys, you just gotta invoke The Force and be a ranchero jedi. Come on, David, we are sure you will get it at the 600th attempt! 

Having a #fail is almost a matter of national pride.

Credit: @andhipersal / Twitter

This dude is ashamed of the fact that he cannot dance to Caballo Dorado’s hits. He calls this a hidden truth… Just by trying you are a true Mexican, compadre, don’t be so hard on yourself. 

And the dark arts of the Payaso de Rodeo are passed up and down generations, sometimes unsuccessfully.

Credit: @deadstacy_ / Twitter

Oh, kids these days… But one day they will try to impress someone and live up to the family tradition. Ven, ven, ven, animalito ven… 

Oh, these songs have given us so many chisme opportunities.

Credit: @Misha_Correa / Twitter

Sometimes you are laughing at someone being totally out of sync, sometimes you are on the receiving end. Either way, some laughter is guaranteed.

Look at this pobre chamaquito getting taken out during the dance.

Credit: MakeAGIF

OMG. This poor little one just got butt-smacked by a happy dancer. We cannot stop watching, though! Sorry, chiquito!

Ouch! Se vale sobarse. [cringes in Spanish]

Credit:  MakeAGIF

That kitchen floor looks as hard and cold as an ex’s heart! The first rule of “Payaso de Rodeo” is you don’t attempt any fancy moves. Ándale, por mamón!

And they went down, stage and all.

And what about this party? They put heart and soul into “Payaso de Rodeo” and the stage just couldn’t handle their moves! No one was seriously hurt, so you can have a laugh at their expense.

She fell de pompis.

This woman just fell flat on her trasero. The rest just kept dancing. No sentón was gonna ruin their choreography. And more than 8,000 people have seen her fall on her butt. Awkward.

Singled out.

A group of teenagers is dancing on a field and suddenly one of them trips and falls near a tree. There is an uncomfortable silence for a brief moment but then they all laugh and cheer. 

Happy but all out of sync, torpes pero contentos.

This has been the most comfortably clumsy group of Caballo Dorado fans ever!

It is not a proper wedding without a bit of drama!

The moment all Latina brides wait for. Dancing Caballo Dorado at their wedding. For this novia, however, the moment was ruined by a guest who just went down dancing. Digno de telenovela.

This doña that is just following her own rhythm.

If you can´t follow them just do your own thing, right? This woman just dances away without even attempting to join the crazy band of jumping paisanos. We gotta give her credit for her independent nature.

And well, this is how a perfectly coordinated “Payaso de Rodeo” looks like.

Credit:  MakeAGIF

Just look at the fluidity of those movements. Admire the grace and elegance. We just can’t stop jealousy from taking over. Envidia de la mala!

And this is what the chorus actually says… you gotta get at least that right!

Credit: 81+TCGWRDGL._SS500_. Digital image. Amazon

Chances are that you have just moved your lips pretending to know the lyrics to “Payaso de Rodeo”. Well, pretend no more! If you are gonna #fail at dancing then you can at least sing it right! These are the actual words of the super fast chorus: 

Les digo ven, ven, ven, animalito ven,
Ven y sígueme y veras lo que vas a aprender,
No ves que soy muy poco artístico
Muy listo muy gracioso soy payaso de rodeo

Which roughly translates as

I tell them come, come, come, little animal come here, 
Come here follow me and you’ll learn something
You know, I am not the artsy type
But I am smart and funny, I am a rodeo clown 

READ: La Chona Dance Breaks Out During Traffic Jam Is Most Mexican Thing to Happen Ever

These Drug Smugglers Left The Internet Laughing At Their Less Than Intelligent Attempts At Smuggling Drugs

Things That Matter

These Drug Smugglers Left The Internet Laughing At Their Less Than Intelligent Attempts At Smuggling Drugs

The drug trade is supported by a global criminal network of diverse cells that connect consumer markets such as the United States, Europe and Australia to producers in the Global South, in countries such as Bolivia, Mexico, Colombia or war-torn Afghanistan. Some trafficking routes are well laid out and involve chains of corruption and death across the whole continent, in the case of America. 

But sometimes amateur smugglers make crazy attempts at taking drugs on planes, boats, buses or across an international border. Now, the drug trade and the countless tragedies it has triggered is nothing to laugh at, but we gotta admit that these over the top smuggling attempts that make us go “Que chingaos estaban pensando?”. 

The Australian dude who hid a joint between his butt cheeks.  🍑

Credit: Minions / Universal Pictures

A man in the Australian town of Ingham, in Queensland, hid a marijuana cigarette between his cheeks, as reported by police. Office Don Auld told the Herbert River Express: “He had drugs secreted in his buttocks, his bottom”. The police were called to a pub where the offender, who goes by the name of Thomas Mow, punched a window. Todo un caballero… not! 

Dream Catchers that were much more than meets the eye!

Credit: dreamcatcher1, dreamcatcher2. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection.

The United States Costumes and Border Protection found liquid meth inside the hoops of these dream catchers. This happened at the Columbus port of entry back in 2016. In an official release, CBP Columbus Port Director Robert Reza said: “This is one of the most unusual smuggling episodes we have ever encountered. Smugglers will try to conceal their drug loads in everyday items like soft drink cans, framed artwork, and other seemingly innocent items. CBP utilizes numerous inspection techniques that help identify and stop these shipments.”

What about a mesa de futbolito full of Mary Jane?

Credit: foosball 2. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection.

Wow, these dudes got just a bit too optimistic in stocking 50 bags of marijuana in a Foosball table. The amazing discovery happened in 2016, when U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at Lewiston Bridge, in the US-Canada border, suspected a Canadian woman because of inconsistencies in her story. “This is an excellent seizure that demonstrates our officers’ dedication to enforcing the CBP mission and protecting the public from illegal narcotics,” said Acting Port Director Cary Frieling in an official statement. See, the border with Mexico is not the only entry point for drugs. 

Meth stuffed bra at Nogales!

Credit: Anonymous / Giphy

If you think about it, the places that are the most logical to try to smuggle drugs might be the first that the police search! A woman was stopped at the border in Arizona only to be arrested for having stuffed her bra with meth. She was carrying nearly two pounds, so about $6,000 USD of the drug that would have made much more on the streets. 

Coconut, anyone? Oops, is that a bag of MJ?

Credit: PHR cocunut MJ- 1423 lbs 05102016 Courtesy CBP Hidalgo (1) Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection. 

On May 9, 2016, CBP officers working at the Pharr International Bridge cargo facility found a trailer hauling a commercial shipment of coconuts from Mexico. On closer inspection, they discovered 2,486 packages of marijuana. Those would have been some nightmare-inducing pina coladas! Yes, it might be amusing to read these stories, but we got to consider how it affects farmers in Mexico and the reputation of the country at large. 

These tacos taste a bit funny… officers found methamphetamine inside packets of tortillas!

Credit: 10312016 TFO NOG Meth Tortillas 1. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

What a waste of good corn tortillas. Officers at the port of Nogales found a whopping $87,000 USD worth of meth inside tortilla packages. The tortillas were being carried by a 62-year-old man who attempted to cross the border on foot.

Cocaine pants!

Credit: Fashgif / Giphy

As reported by The Telegraph, two men were caught at JFK Airport with vast amounts of cocaine inside their pants. The packets were attached to their legs and basically created a cocaine pair of pantalones. The two men were coming on a flight from the Dominican Republic. Did they really think they would get away with it? This has to be one of the dumbest attempts ever. They must have been walking like robots or charros after riding an untamed horse!

Watermelons were full of drogas.

Credit: watermelon_trans. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

Officials in Pharr, Texas, found 3,000 pounds of marijuana inside a shipment of watermelons. It happened in January 2017 and almost 300 watermelons were taken into custody. Is there a single fruit that hasn’t been used for trafficking purposes?

And bananas in Spain were filled with cocaine!

Credit: xandxyz / Giphy

Spanish authorities made yet another fruit-related discovery. As The Telegraph Online reported back in 2017: “Smugglers appear to be getting more creative after authorities foiled an alleged fake banana smuggling attempt in Spain. The Guardia Civil police have uncovered 17 kilos of cocaine hidden in fake bananas and flaps of cardboard boxes in Valencia and Malaga”. The smugglers went great lengths in trying to consummate their crime: they manufacture fake bananas made with resin and thrown together with real fruit. That is some dedication, and also some excellent police work.

Burritos con todo, porfavor.

Credit:  drugs-trending_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqTpQNkEsZM9dtjYvDPpd1c2o7J_TCyqxZ1Oc-nHCR2rk. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

Poor burritos, as if their reputation as “not Mexican food wasn’t enough” now they are related to ill smuggling attempts. The Telegraph reports: “A 23-year-old woman has been arrested for attempting to smuggle methamphetamine-stuffed burritos at the United States-Mexico border, authorities say.” Sniffer dogs realized that there was something wrong with the burritos, and the inspectors discovered no guacamole, meat or sour cream was stuffed in the tortillas. 

We cannot forget about the dude that tried to smuggle drugs under his toupee.

Credit: @Policia / Twitter

The Spanish National Police arrested a Colombian man at  Barcelona’s Josep Tarradellas Airport with cocaine stashed under his toupee. The photos show just how silly this attempt was. We mean, it is clear that something is going on debajo de esa peluca. How could he probably think that he was going to get away with it?

Fake nalgas don’t fool anyone!

Credit: _99957657_b32f68e8-561f-4a8d-9f06-2e82497514b1. Digital image. BBC

Ha! A Brazilian man tried to smuggle drugs inside a pair of fake buttocks attached to his swimming suit. The man was arrested when attempting to enter Portugal with one kilogram of cocaine. The European market is coveted by smugglers because prices are much higher than in the United States. 

A very artful attempt at smuggling.

Credit: Anonymous / Giphy

Colombian police found cocaine mixed into the clay of three replicas of sculptures by artist Fernando Botero. The sculptures were found in a Bogota warehouse and were due to be shipped to Madrid. A police statement said, as reported by BBC: “This is a sophisticated concealment system for the drugs in replicas of sculptures by a renowned Colombian artist.” At least the smugglers had moderately good taste (Botero is a bit kitsch, to be honest).

READ: This May be the Craziest Drug-Smuggling Attempt Ever