Culture

Mexican Food Is Enjoyed Around The World But Not Much Of It Is Authentic As These Epic Food Fails Prove

Ah, poor Mexican food. It often falls in las garras of unscrupulous gringos that wish to make the authentic thing, the real deal, but often end up coming up with dishes that make us go no mames instead of yummy. On other occasions these restaurants, people and brands just do a blatant and half-assed attempt to use some Mexican ingredients (or Tex-Mex!) and call that authentic Mexican. 

Here’s some of the most horrible but hilariously wrong attempts to recreate one of the most complex cuisines in the world, which has been recognized by the UNESCO as world heritage, as Herald Sun reported recently: “Mexican food is one of the more nuanced cuisines of the world. It’s also one of only two national cuisines to have been listed by UNESCO as part of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity. The other is French gastronomy”. So whenever someone damages the reputation of Mexican food, they are in fact conspiring against humanity as a whole! 

Oven fresh burritos = frozen atrocities.

Credit: Instagram. @tysonmitman

No disrespect to our British friends, but food is not their strongest suit. This atrocious sign is trying to hide the fact that perhaps the burritos they are selling come out of a freezer and probably have that plastic aftertaste so familiar for those who survive on microwave food. No, gracias. 

This hipster monstrosity that gives pumpkin a bad name.

Credit: Instagram. @bigblack1911

OMG! What on Earth is this? We have enough with pumpkin latte season for hipster companies to appropriate our venerable tortilla chip and turn it into this Thanksgiving nightmare. Seriously, dudes, pumpkin tortillas sound just kind of OKish, but adding cinnamon and nutmeg. Gua-ca-la. 

This bad translation, un poquito de esfuerzo mijos!

Credit: Instagram. @roymeyer

What do they take us for? Really, can’t you just do a better job and simply say “slow cooked pork meat” rather than “little meats”? You are not doing a very good job at selling your product, bro. 

We feel for this person whose burrito will just collapse.

Credit: Twitter. @cocoterito

Oh, my! Multiculturalism certainly brings joyful moments of pena ajena. Twitter user Susanita just witnessed her coworker commit the ultimate crime: eating a cold tortilla that will taste like cardboard and that will just crumble before the first bite. 

We can’t even… Seriously, ranch dressing as a hot sauce?

Credit: Instagram. @ArielleMartin

Seriously, who can even consider Ranch or Sriracha to be Mexican condiments? Well, to be honest Sriracha is kind of fine, but ranch dressing? Puaj. 

Crackers as salsa dipping snacks… what fresh hell is this?

Credit: Twitter. @LauraSievert

We can live with stale tortilla chips if the salsa is acceptable… but…. really… crackers? This is just an insult to overall good taste! 

No beans, no life, manitos.

Credit: Instagram. @mrshappyhomemaker

Come on, how can you call yourself a Mexican restaurant and have no refried beans! To see this is levantarse con el pie izquierdo. 

This San Antonio joint that gave Mex food a bad name (and possibly gave gastro to a few customers)

Earlier this year food inspectors shut down a Mexican restaurant in San Antonio, as News4SA reports: “After finding dead roaches and dirty appliances, a traditional Mexican restaurant here in San Antonio fails its latest health inspection. Maria’s Cafe located off Nogalitos Street just south of downtown scored a 62, a failing score”. We can only say “Qué pinche asco“.

A frozen tamale with cheese? Nah! There’s limits that should never be crossed.

We thank the attempts to take Mexican cuisine to the supermarket aisle… but, and this is a big “but”, you gotta do it right. This bad attempt at authenticity is self-incriminatory in its official description: ” Amy’s Cheese Tamale Verde starts with corn masa made from organic white corn and blended with Monterey Jack Cheese, chiles and jalapeños. Then, it is topped off with our slow-simmered verde sauce and served with a side of Spanish rice and organic black beans”. Who on Earth blends masa with cheese? No one!

Please, just stop it with the cheese tamales!

And of course, these ones are presented over a bed of sweet corn… Very authentic…. NOT! This can really work if you want to get on a diet: we are guessing you won’t take a second bite. Well done, Lean Cuisine! 

This overpriced restaurant that doesn’t look like a fonda at all!

Credit: Photo by the author

Fonda Mexican is an Australian chain that claims to make authentic food from South of the Border. Problem is, it ends up being a weird fusion joint that pretends to be authentic. We would be OK with it if it wasn’t so damn pretentious! 

The place tries to look like a traditional family restaurant but ends up being un adefesio.

Credit: Photo by the author

The decor tries to imitate the look and feel of a traditional fonda, but it fails horribly. It all tastes like cultural appropriation, quite frankly. 

And just look at the price of those tacos! 

What? Chimichurri (which is Argentinian) on a taco? And aioli? And pepitas? Give us a break and stop gentrifying everything! 

This banana buñuelo in Tokyo that is just a deep fried tortilla.

At least we appreciate the honesty. Buñuelos are a tradition of Mexican street food. It is a huge sheet of deep fried pastry that is just crunchy and sweet and delicious. We are sure your abuelitas remember eating them after mass on Sundays, as buñuelos vendors usually congregate around churches. Well, the Chiles Mexican Grill in Tokyo serves this blasphemy: a deep fried tortilla with banana and walnut inside. Herejes

The Pancho Villa restaurant in Moscow is just otra cosa.

Credit: Google Maps. @Lora Versus

Reading through the menu of the Pancho Villa restaurant in Moscow is like witnessing a car crash. The squid salad is described as follows: “Squid from the grill, fresh veggies, Mariachi, fried corn  and a dressing of chipotle and mayo”. What do they mean by “Mariachi”? We hope this doesn’t involve some sort of cannibalistic practice!

And does this sound Mexican at all? “Ensalada de Pato. Juicy duck breast with lettuce, corn, pear and cherry tomatoes with a creamy honey dressing”. Damn, it does sound OKish but not Mexican like at all. And what about this atrocity? “Ensalada Yucateca. A traditional Mexican salad: fried ground beef, iceberg lettuce, corn, avocado, lime dressing and pico de gallo”. Really?  That just looks like nachos minus the tortilla chips! We mean, would you eat the weird looking thing in the picture? And who puts jalapeños and black olives together anyways? 

And the one we hate most of all: the abominable taco salad! 

This particular salad comes from the Habaneros Mexican Grill in Edmonton, Canada. This has NOTHING Mexican about it. It is just an overprices Taco Bell-like Tex-Mex… thing. 

We are probably being too harsh on the humble taco salad, but we have had nightmares since POTUS celebrated 5 de Mayo by eating one…

Credit: Giphy. Anonymous. 

We are so sorry for el susto.

10 Instagram Fails That Prove Many Peoples’ “Best Lives” Are Fake AF

Culture

10 Instagram Fails That Prove Many Peoples’ “Best Lives” Are Fake AF

u/purpleyellowpaint / Reddit

Instagram is without a doubt, the social media platform we have the most complicated relationship with. Although the photo-sharing platform was created with the intention of connecting people who want to share special moments from their lives, it has recently devolved into the social media that experts are calling most detrimental to our mental health.

The problem with Instagram lies in the images Instagram users present to the world: staged, curated, and–more increasingly–edited beyond recognition. After all, it’s not like the phrase “do it for the ‘Gram” came out of nowhere. People want to present the best versions of themselves to their followers because they know that that’s what racks up the most likes. The problem with many Instagram users’ “best versions” of themselves, however, is that those versions aren’t based in reality. We compiled a list of the worst Instagram fails of 2019 to show to our readers that what you see isn’t always what you get. Check it out below!

1. This person who edited their face, but not their reflection

Credit: u/dantemarlvin / Reddit

Ahh, the old “I face-tuned my face within an inch of its life but forgot to edit its reflection” problem. Many a brave solider has fallen victim to this mistake. Many more will follow.

2. When even famous celebs are a victim of Instagram fails

Credit: iamcardib / Instagram

Cardi B’s photoshopping fail proves that even celebrities are insecure about their bodies and feel the need to alter their appearance in pictures. Even someone as beautiful and successful as Cardi B gives in to the pressure to be “perfect” for the public. 

3. When one person edits their face, to the detriment of others

Credit: u/em_abdo / Reddit

Look, we all know that pretty much no one looks hot on Christmas morning. We’re always rushed to get out of bed and probably sleep-deprived. It’s unfortunate that a situation least conducive for great photos is the time of year we’re most often in front of the camera. And while most of us resist the urge to face-tune ourselves in the family photo, some people (like the girl on the far left) can’t post a pic without tampering with it. Unfortunately, the end result is jarring and super noticeable.

4. This girl photoshopped a Lamborghini logo on her car’s steering wheel

Credit: u/mike-wazowskis-cock / Reddit

We give this girl credit for thinking of new and creative ways to flex on Instagram. Pro tip: if you really want people thinking you own a luxury car, go to a fancy car dealership and ask to test drive the newest model. Then, you can take a selfie in the driver’s seat and no one will ever be any wiser (#sarcasm).

5. This guy photo-shopped weights onto his bar, but forgot to add them to the reflection

Credit: u/mr_kord / Reddit

Here’s another Instagram fail where the reflection tells the real story. This is the type of photoshop fail that totally baffles us. Why lie about how much you can lift? It’s pretty easy to tell how strong someone is by looking at their body! 

6. This guy “travels” the world by photo-shopping himself into different locations

Credit: u/princessplastilina / Reddit

If you’re going to photoshop yourself as a world traveler, at least change up your pose once in a while. 

7. This guy also “travels” the world, but the fence behind him oddly stays the same…

Credit: u/purple_lamas / Reddit

This guy doesn’t even try to photoshop himself into new locations. Instead, he just changes his location tags and trusts that his followers will believe that he’s jet-setting around the globe. But it doesn’t take a genius to see that he’s sitting in the same location in both “Israel” and “Belarus”. 

8. This guy went a little over-board on the teeth-whitening tool

Credit: u/purpleyellowpaint / Reddit

This picture is a prime example of Instagram influencers taking something that looks great in moderation and ramping up the intensity until it’s no longer attractive. Also on that list? Full lips, curvaceous bodies, and smooth skin. 

9. This cloud pattern seems to oddly follow this Influencer all over the world

Credit: u/your-missing-mom / Reddit

This picture is an example of how much Instagram has warped the minds of its users. While editing your photos used to be about removing a pimple or fixing red eye, now people feel the need to add perfect, fluffy clouds in their skies to keep up the illusion of a flawless life. 

10. This “artist” shows photos of different paintings, but the palette in her hand never changes

Credit: u/zannrael / Reddit

Where do we even start with this Instagram fails? To begin with, it seems highly unlikely that a real painter would wear such nice clothes when dealing with paints that could potentially ruin their fabric.

READ: The Instagram Trends That Drove Us Nuts In 2019

We Found The Best Latino Eats At Trader Joe’s So You Wouldn’t Have To

Culture

We Found The Best Latino Eats At Trader Joe’s So You Wouldn’t Have To

Trader Joe's

Trader Joe’s may not be the first name that comes to mind when you’re thinking of authentic Latin food. But surprisingly enough, this cult-favorite specialty store has a variety of foods from across Latinidad that (while they may not be as good as abuela’s) hit the spot when you’re in a pinch. 

From Frozen quesadillas to packaged plantain chips, Trader Joe’s has a ton of foods from Latin America to satisfy your wallet and your tastebuds. And who knows? Maybe even your abuela will approve. Take a look at 10 of the best Trader Joe’s Latin food options below! 

1. Southwest Chicken Quesadillas

via Trader Joe’s website

According to Reddit user u/gratefulem220, these treats fly woefully under the radar. “Southwest quesadillas are so good. They’re like southwest egg rolls from any chain restaurant but in quesadilla form”

2. Chili Spiced Dried Mango

via Trader Joe’s website

You may have grown out of your Vero Mango days, but Trader Joe’s offers a sweet and healthy alternative to the famous Mexican candy. According to Trader Joe’s, this dried fruit is lovingly coated in a “blend of paprika, cayenne, sugar, & salt”. What’s not to love?

3. Chicken Enchiladas Verde

via Trader Joe’s website

According to Trader Joe’s, their Chicken Enchiladas are filled with “chicken breast, Monterey jack cheese, and a special enchiladas verdes sauce made from crushed tomatillo, onion, green chili peppers, and diced poblanos.”  We know it’s hard to beat homemade, but Trader Joes usually comes through with yummy late night snacks.

4. Mini Chicken Tacos

via Trader Joe’s website

Sure, these aren’t your madre’s tacos, but these Mini Chicken Tacos haven’t become a fan-favorite for nothing. According to Trader Joe’s, these tacos are made with crispy yellow corn tortillas, and then “are filled with chunks of chicken leg and breast meat that’s been simmered in a tangy, green chile tomatillo sauce kicked up with a bit of jalapeño pepper”. Sounds delicious.

5. Cuban-Style Citrus Garlic Bowl

via Trader Joe’s website

Finally, a snack fit for the Cubanos out there. While Trader Joe’s may be famous for it’s iterations of Mexican food (it was founded in Southern California, after all), once in a while, they throw the rest of Latinidad a bone. This time, they tried their hand at a Cuban Style Citrus Garlic Bowl. According to TJ’s, the bowl is made of marinated chicken thighs, yellow rice, diced bell peppers and onions, black beans, plantains, and cilantro. And to make matters even better, it’s topped of with mojo criollo sauce.

6. Black Bean & Cheese Taquitos

via Trader Joe’s website

Taquitos are arguably the perfect snack food. If it’s gameday finger food or mouth-watering appetizers, taquitos always hit the spot. These ones are made with “seasoned black beans & Monterey Jack cheese”. You can’t go wrong with this tasty vegetarian snack option. 

7. Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo

via Trader Joe’s website

Chilaquiles are a breakfast staple in Mexico, and TJ’s has offered up it’s own version on this savory treat. If you really want to take this frozen food to the next level, don’t be afraid to experiment in the kitchen a bit. “We made this this weekend, topped with sour cream, avocado, a sunny side up egg and a dash of hot sauce,” said Reddit user u/Pepperpeople444.

8. Roasted Plantain Chips

via Trader Joe’s website

In many parts of Latinidad, plantains are as common to Latinos as apples are to North Americans. Those who miss their sweet banana snacks are in for a treat when they visit Trader Joe’s. “They’re just crispy, crunchy, starchy goodness!” says Reddit user u/Hazy_Cat. “There’s just a teeny-tiny hint of sweetness that makes them ultra addictive. The TJ ones are my favorite”.

9. Giant Peruvian Inca Corn

via Trader Joe’s website

If you’re in the mood for something salty and crunchy but know that potato chips won’t hit the spot, opt instead for a bag of Giant Peruvian Inca Corn. “For years of my life, my favorite go to snack was TJ’s giant Peruvian Inca Corn. It’s crunchy salty goodness got me through many nights of school and games. Satisfied me through many hungry afternoons,” says Reddit user u/Doombuggie41. “Corn nuts don’t do the same thing”.

10. Trader Joe’s Peruvian Style Chimichurri Rice

via Trader Joe’s website

According to Reddit user u/crazypterodactyl, there’s a million ways to use this delicious frozen rice: “We make ours into soup (they had it as a sample one time). One bag chimichurri rice, one can black beans, one carton black bean soup. I add garlic and lime juice, but that’s not necessary. Serve plain, or with cheese, sour cream, and/or cilantro. So good and so easy!”