This Latina’s Chanclazo Costume Has Us All Terrified And Really Made Halloween A Time To Remember
Makeup artist Yvette Marie Gonzalez dished a collective clap back to all the Latina mamis who terrorized us with their chanclas. Gonzalez has been dishing gory zombie, creepy clown, and even adorable candy-corn-crowned Halloween looks all season. Yet, she saved the best, no, worst, for Halloween. What happened that fateful day? “I forgot the beans and my mom gave me el chanclazo,” she captioned a photo of an actual chancla bloodily embedded into her head. Fake blood is splattered around her scalp and down her temples as she serves lewks.
Every Latino knows the only thing we ever needed to fear on Halloween was the chancla.
Did you forget the beans were on the stove and they got burned? Chancla. Did you forget to take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw? Sinking, sinking, pit in your stomach because you know the chancla is coming. Gonzalez, based out of Donna, Texas, recreated our worst childhood fears in just two, horrifying hours. Since sharing the look on social media, it’s gone viral. It’s been shared over 22,000 times, and has nearly 5,000 comments and likes. The 24-year-old made a follow-up post to share her shock, saying “This is absolutely crazy! I would’ve never thought that a small concept I had when I started my 16 Days Till Halloween would reach this many people is beyond me! ???? Thank you for all the shares, likes, & comments! Happy Halloween ????????”
“This really is for the culture sis,” commented one fan.
“A true Hispanic Halloween,” commented another admirer. “Even scarier than La Llorona…..La Chancla! You KILLED IT with this one,” a friend writes. Dozens of comments are telling Gonzalez that she “won” Halloween. Basically, we Adult Children of Latina Moms (ACLM) feel seen as heck. “I get PTSD just looking at this ???????????? you definitely killed it!!! ????????,” commented one obvious ACLM. A knowing father decided to loop us all in, saying, “*olvidaron* sweetheart. I love the chanclaso right in the forehead. It’s all our mama’s dream comes true but also their guilty nightmare hahaha.” Of course, Latina moms are already commenting, “Yes! I’m showing this to my kids as a warning! ????” Oh, no, Gonzalez, what have we done.
Gonzalez has basically raised all our childhood horror stories from the grave.
While employing our gifted sense of denial of child abuse, Latinos are filling the comments with funny stories from their childhood. “Then your mom’s like “Ay no te paso nada eres bien exagerada. Tu tienes la culpa por no hacerme caso si te hable muchas veces” (she only called you 1 time and you were busy with another chore????????????????),” commented one fan, who accurately describes our moms telling us we’re overexaggerating how hard they hit. Typically, the vast majority of our experiences with la chancla was the simple threat of a mom taking off her chancla. She’d point it at us and threaten, “Te calmas o te calmo.” Usually, that was enough to get us to stop with the pendejería but it’s safe to say we all may have narrowly missed a scene like this one.
Gonzalez didn’t wear the chancla for Halloween, fearing it would strike too much additional trauma on the younger members of her family.
Gonzalez did more than apply makeup to get the look just right. We all know, exactamente, how heavy a chancla is when it’s flying across the room or repeatedly in your face. Gonzalez had to shave down the sole of the chancla to make it light enough to stay upright on her head, according to a local news outlet. Then, she used liquid latex to get the chancla to stick to her head, and cotton balls and tissue paper, presumably, to prop the chancla up. Given Gonzalez’s finesse with fake blood in previous looks, we’d say she was made to perfect the chanclazo horror look.
The lesson here: mamis, keep giving us el chanclazo and we’ll grow up to be talented makeup artists that put your savagery on full display to The Internet.
Thus far, Gonzalez’s mom has not spoken out, but we’d like to file a petition to view the video we hope Gonzalez recorded of her mom’s reaction. Were there chanclas involved? Or was she scared straight? Maybe we’ll never know. Regardless, we’re with the Latino Internet. You win Halloween 2019, Yvette.