Culture

Just Like Starbucks’ PSL, These Weird Pumpkin Spice-Themed Products Are The Official Sign That Fall Is Here

Now that back to school season is officially over, we can welcome one of our favorite times of year: Fall. However, before the weather can even get chilly, the unofficial flavor of the season has already popped up everywhere. Of course, we’re talking about pumpkin spice.

We’re used to the flavor showing up in our lattes and baked goods, but pumpkin spice is that one ingredient that seems to appear everywhere this time of year. It isn’t just foods that are collaborating with the flavor. It’s showing up in the weirdest places and making some of the strangest products we’ve ever seen.

Here are some of the strangest pumpkin-spiced products that we found.

1. Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

Instagram / @wincofoods

Cheerios is definitely one of those cereals we associate with our childhoods but they were usually plain or honey flavored. The introduction of pumpkin spice into this classic cereal has us uncertain. It could be pretty good, but it could also be really bad.

2. Pumpkin Spice Peeps

We’re used to seeing Peeps in our Easter baskets, but nowadays the candy makes an appearance for every season. A pumpkin spice addition to these marshmallow treats sounds too tooth-achingly sweet.

Instagram / @str8t3xan

3. Pumpkin Spice Doggie Treats

Instagram / @bigbentheenglishlab

In this case, what’s good for man is good for man’s best friend. To be exact, pumpkin spice dog treats are a thing and it seems that dogs are crazy for them. Might as well change this product to “pup”kin spice treats.

4. Pumpkin Spice Protein Powder

Instagram / @jmwilco

You know what our workouts are missing? Pumpkin spice protein powder. The combo is already leaving a bad taste in our mouths but if it will keep you gym sharks from skipping leg day, it’s worth a try.

5. Pumpkin Spice Salsa

Instagram / @dollemore

This is outright sacrilegious. As Latinx folk, we feel pretty protective of our salsa and the addition of pumpkin spice to this on is giving us nothing but bad vibes. We don’t even want to entertain the thought of trying this.

6. Pumpkin Spice Tortilla Chips

Instagram / @catladyrobyn

Perfect for the abomination that is your pumpkin spice salsa. Take our advice: DO NOT show up with these as the next BBQ. Your tios and primos WILL roast you and you’ll totally deserve it.

7. Pumpkin Spice Deodorant

 Instagram / @smartypits

Do you really, really love pumpkin spice? Do you want your pits to smell like a freshly brewed PSL? Luckily, deodorant makers, SmartyPits, had you in mind when they created this fragrance. Be warned: when wearing this, you might smell like a Starbucks.

8. Pumpkin Spice Ale & Beer

Instagram / @slateronthemic

A general fact of life is that all good things will eventually be turned into alcohol. It’s with that rule in mind that we bring you pumpkin spice ale and beer. We imagine drinking this is like sipping a crisp Autumn day and it might actually be one of the few collaborations that work.

9. Pumpkin Spice Chicken Sausage

Instagram / @Josephsantoro

Pumpkin spice chicken sausage? We have to object. Just thinking about this product is giving us a serious stomach ache.

10. Pumpkin Spice Beard Products

Instagram / @mellymelpel

Give your beard that good stuff; and by good stuff, we mean pumpkin spice. This beard oil gives a caffeine and pumpkin spice-infused kick to your face.

11. Pumpkin Spice Gouda Cheese

Instagram / @theresa_is_dead

Cheese is great. We’re big fans. However, we can’t imagine combining the smokey flavor of Gouda with the spices advertised in this cheese. We don’t think our palettes are ready for that.

12. Pumpkin Spice Hummus

Instagram / @offbeat.treats

Hummus is creamy perfection but pumpkin spice hummus seems like an unsavory snack. While we appreciate hummus and we appreciate pumpkin spice, these things just don’t go together.

13. Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo

Instagram / @luxurypersiankittens

If you can eat and smell like pumpkin spice, so can your pooch. Bathe your four legged baby in this pumpkin spice shampoo and they’ll be in the seasonal spirit as well.

14. Pumpkin Spice Lip Balm

Instagram / @buhwitni

Pucker up! Make sure every kiss you have this Fall is flavored just right with pumpkin spice lip balm. Hopefully your significant other loves PSL as much as you do.

15. Pumpkin Spice Kombucha

Instagram / @spanglishluv

Kombucha   like pumpkin spice is an acquired taste. Not everyone likes them, but those who, do love them. Combining the two makes for a very specific taste only a few will actually enjoy.

16. Pumpkin Spice Gum

Instagram / @misscherrydelight

Are you trying to give up coffee but still crave that pumpkin spice flavor? This gum was made for you.

17. Pumpkin Spice Pasta Sauce

Instagram / @rj.strocchio

This goes right with pumpkin spice salsa in that “should never have been attempted” column. Tragically, this looks like it will ruin a perfectly good pasta dinner.

18. Pumpkin Spice Cough Drops

Instagram / @cyndiyung12

Pumpkin spice even found its way into our over the counter medication. At least when you inevitably catch a cold, you’ll have this pumpkin spice cough drop to ease your pain.

From Jamón Rolls To Pizza Quesadillas All The Latino Snacks We “Invented” While Our Parents Were Away

Culture

From Jamón Rolls To Pizza Quesadillas All The Latino Snacks We “Invented” While Our Parents Were Away

i.imgur.com/t2Dms1/ Reddit

If you were a kid (we’re banking on the fact that you were) you know that one of your proudest moments was “inventing” a new snack you were pretty sure no one had ever tried before. Whether it was mayonnaise nachos, PB&J tacos, or pizza burritos con ketchup, you tried it all. Recently a TikTok user by the name of @belspies shared her own childhood creation when she showed her “Three M&Ms Ball” recipe on TikTok.

Tons of people on TikTok responded with their own special recipes on TikTok but we wanted to hear from you. So we asked you guys what treats you invented as kids.

And boy did you guys deliver!

Classic PBJ with a Twist

u/BeardedStalion / Teddit

peanut butter burritos so yummy.” –aarahxo@soniaromero03 

Because our parents worked hard as hell.

“Man for real. This made me realize all the stuff we had to come up with because we were hungry, while my son over here can’t repeat the same thing for dinner as he had for lunch. Then again he has the privilege of his mother being home while mine worked, but still.” –avelar227

Tortilla snacks were where it was really at.

makethebestofeverything.com/Pinterest

“I used to cut up tortillas in little triangles and sprinkle salt and lemon on them to snack on after school.” – salviscientist

Chocolate chips were where it was at.

u/imattyakaz / Reddit

I would add chocolate chips to my cheesy nachos.”- mapauhan

Turns out we were all using ketchup for odd purposes.

myLot / Reddit

“Pizza” = slice of bread, bologna, cheese ketchup & mayo, place in toaster oven until cheese melts.”- berenice02

“Ritz w/ ketchup, cream cheese tortilla rolls, fry a tortilla then add sugar and cinnamon to make my own buñelos, and Pillsberry dough biscuit to make doughnuts. My kid will never know the real struggle.” – pattybear59

“omg sliced cheese with ketchup 😅😅 I was 5 and I thought I made a masterpiece.” – musical_mary21

Jelly tortillas.

rebug / Reddit

“Jelly on flour tortillas.” – becky_anible_

The ultimate cereal crunch.

u/TheBananashan

“Cornflakes and porridge oats (con canela) but it had to be the perfect combo of sweet, hot and cruchy.” – olmos_shnn

Hot dogs fit for the best taqueria.

PB&J on flour tortillas AND hot dogs in corn tortillas. We didn’t really ever have bread around.” – wealthparatodos

Hotdog sandwiches lol, basically sliced grilled weenies with bread, ketchup and mustard.” – eunice_castro

“Grilled Hot dogs rolled in a corn tortilla. Flour tortilla with Peanut Butter & Pancake syrup. Hella good!” – mssassycrabcake

Yes to all of the fresasss.

pikde.com

PB and fresas on pan bimbo…or elote con sopa de arroz and crema.” – dulcesonrisa_85

“Confleis con platano, fried bologna sandwiches, maruchan con chile y limón.” – liz_laprieta

The ultimate messy toast.

Nora Cooks / Reddit

“Toast with butter and maple syrup – ghetto gourmet.” – mmjohar

“I used to grab a potato chip and topped with pelon pelo rico.. my mom would yield at me that I had lombrises en la pansa.. it was so good.” – yandy_loz

Tortillas with mayonnaise.

The Cavendar Blog / Reddit

“Warm rolled tortilla with a little salt or flour tortilla with mayonnaise.” – ivet_dub

“Apples soaked in pickle juice with chamoy Lucas.” –dreathunder

“Peanut butter jelly and Doritos (or lays) sandwich.” –allyss_abyss_

“Mix all the Lucas powders for the ultimate Lucas.” – genni_reyes

And people were going crazy with tacos.

“Cheetos and mustard.” – lesliehendersonoajaca

“Warm Tortilla and salted sour cream.” – victoria0r0

“Pickles and nacho cheese!” –lovely_did

“Soda crackers with mayo or ritz crackers with American cheese.” – simpleasamy

But above all, we can’t help but think this spicey rice sandwich was da bomb.

Binjal’s VEG Kitchen

“Arroz sándwich.” – bellmaryk

The Laziest Food Hacks In All Of The Land Would Send Your Abuela To The Chancla

Culture

The Laziest Food Hacks In All Of The Land Would Send Your Abuela To The Chancla

There is no way around it: the secret to good cooking is paciencia, letting things simmer, allowing the ingredients to melt together in perfect harmony. Ask any abuelita if she uses the microwave for cooking and she will give you a face of no mames, mijito. Latin American food, in particular, is deceptively complex and needs to follow both carefully written family recipes and plenty of panza. Yes, us Latinos cook not only with our hands but also with our spirit: every plate of mole or arepas is representative of culture and history. Each dish is the product of processes of colonization and mixing of indigenous and European cultures. Ingredients like corn, potatoes, tomatoes, and beans, which are endemic to the American continent, coexist with pork, beef and eggs, imported by the Europeans centuries ago. 

However, we seem to live in a day and age where having things ahorita, era para ayer, is wanted rather than rejected. Fast food and fast cooking are a response to our turbulent and fast-paced modern lives. It sucks, though. Cooking is about feeding our bodies and our souls, so nada de atajos en la cocina, chaparritos, porfas. Here are 20 folks who just don’t get that cocinar necesita paciencia and totally savaged tradition by employing lazy tactics and hacks. Shame on them! Also, using extra plastic in the kitchen is honestly terrible in this juncture of worldwide environmental crisis. 

Let’s make it clear right here and right now!  Tortillas DO NOT FREEZE WELL!

Credit: 21-ct-chickencheeseflour-taquito. Digital image. El Monterey

If you want to have a cardboard tasting thing that looks like a Mexican spring roll, go ahead. Or you can fry your own taquitos with fresh ingredients. 

Ketchup on Mexican Rice? Cue Laura Bozzo voice: QUE PASE EL DESGRACIADO!

Credit: Screenshot. https://tastykitchen.com/recipes/sidedishes/fantastic-mexican-rice/

This is an insult to tradition and an abomination. Who would cook Mexican rice with ketchup, which is basically sugar on steroids. Asquito

Packaged arepas are OK, we guess, but stuff them yourself!

Credit: 61Ep-K9T76L. Digital image. Amazon

Buying this atrocity is as silly as buying pre-made quesadillas. And in all honesty, pre-made food rarely uses the best cheese options. So just buy arepas (or make them fresh!), buy a nice queso and stuff them with tus dos manitas, que para eso te las dieron, chaparrito

Whoever freezes pico de gallo doesn’t deserve to eat it!

Credit: 71S9xIvyYFL._SL1500_. Digital image. Amazon

Pico de gallo salsa is delicious because of its freshness. Whoever is trying to freeze it here (using this lazy ass baggy opener, like yeah, let’s waste even more plastic and kill more marine life) deserves the soggy, stale mess they will eat when the pico de gallo thaws. 

The dude who uses instant oats for his version of arroz con leche

Credit: Instagram. @ed_edd_lalo

Ay, no manches. Really, oats will never taste like an arroz con leche that has been simmering on the stove for two hours. Never, ever, nunca de los nuncas. Please do not try at home. 

This person who used Doritos to make their own version of chilaquiles

@chefjedigaming

Can we barf already? If you can go to the shops to buy Doritos you can as easily buy tortilla chips! Or better still, buy corn tortillas, cut them in triangles and fry them. It is not that hard, seriously! 

Don’t be lazy and make a pastel azteca instead

Credit: Instagram. @jaren_diaryrecipecollection

Lasagna sheets are the laziest trick on the book. You can as easily buy flour tortillas and make a pastel azteca. And let us guess, you bought taco seasoning instead of actually making it yourself? Get off your trasero and stock your herbs and spices shelf, reinita.

Seriously, microwave quesadillas have to STOP! PERO YA!

Credit: k6vel0osj9z01. Digital image. Reddit.

Look at this gooey mess. Seriously, it is not that hard or time-consuming to hear up el comal and make your quesadilla there. A good quesadilla has a slightly crunchy tortilla and not this soggy, sad excuse of a wrap. GUACALA! 

We just can’t let this go! There are even video tutorials for microwave quesadillas!

Damn, how menso do you have to be to actually need a video tutorial on how to put two tortillas, cheese, and ham together. In the 2 minutes that this video lasts, anyone can actually make a proper queca! 

Seriously? A can of black beans for arroz con frijoles negros?

The Cuban abuelitas of the world would be disgusted at this! Black beans have to be bought raw, cleaned, left to rest in water overnight and then cooked slowly and tenderly, as garlic caresses their surface. Any good Latino knows this. 

Just stop it with fajita seasoning mixes!

Credit: sheet-pan-chili-lime-shrimp-fajitas-104-680×1020. Digital image. Creme de la Crumb

OK. Just open your cupboards and mix these eight simple ingredients instead of tasting preservatives with every bite: 

  1. 4 teaspoons chili powder.
  2. 2 teaspoon ground cumin.
  3. 2 teaspoon paprika.
  4. 2 teaspoon salt.
  5. 2 teaspoon sugar.
  6. 1 teaspoon garlic powder.
  7. 1 teaspoon onion powder.
  8. 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Simpler, and much cheaper. You are welcome. 

Talking about fajitas…. this is some lazy person. And seriously, salad dressing?

Credit: DSC_0017. Digital image. classyclutter.net

We have seen it all, but seriously… Paul Newman’s salad dressing on fajitas. Also… prepackaged veggies? So many wrongdoings here, in culinary and environmental terms! 

Ya en serio, y’all need a tutorial to open a jar?

Credit: YouTube. @Julie Y Familia

Granted, making mole from scratch is time-consuming and sometimes the best way to tackle the craving is opening a good old jar. But this is not cooking, in all seriousness, it is merely putting things together. If you need a tutorial to panfry some pollo and add broth and a jar of mole, perhaps you should not be allowed en la cocina

The people who use esta atrocidad 

Credit: 61kt-v8Y+iL._SL1500_. Digital image. Amazon

One of the greatest joys of Latin American cooking is feeling the ingredients on your hands. Corn is fun to cook with, so why use this horrible device instead of a knife. No sean flojos. And it probably takes longer to use this than actually using your manitas

Y miren esto! 

Credit: pqrqrr1420342263521. Digital image. Light in the Box.

Aguacates have been one of the biggest victims of the gentrification of Latin American food. Does anyone need a tool for cutting them? Those pinches hipsters.  NO MORE PLASTIC WASTE, PLEASE. 

Yeah, kill whales with your plastic empanada maker, no worries.

Credit: 81oOfHC4AjL._SL1500_. Digital image. Amazon.

Among the stupidest tools we have seen this must be high on the ranking. If you want to make a nice Argentinian empanada, use your fingers to create those lovely dobleces. One of the great things about Argentinian cuisine is how rustic it looks, so this is a travesty that, to add insult to injury, harms the planet. 

Cut your own dang mushrooms!

Credit: 62919011_0_640x640. Digital image. Ocado

If you want to make your quesadillas and enchiladas a bit healthier, you can always add mushrooms. Just sauté them with oil and garlic y chilito and you got it. But please, please, please, slice your own mushrooms and save the planet from more cochina plastic waste. 

And peel your own damn elotes!

Credit: th_husked_corn_95ddbfda-de7d-4c10-a914-c704df84ccef_1024x1024 (1). Digital image. Hudson Valley Harvest

The same goes for corn! Take the fresh corn. Take the husk off. Get those pelos de elote in the trash can and rinse the corn. Easy as you lazy ass! 

Poor guacamole, the victim of so many cultural appropriation crimes… yes, mayonnaise… 

Credit: bowl-of-guacamole-and-sliced-avocado-545875085-5828c12b5f9b58d5b11391e0 (1). Digital image. The Spruce Eats

This infamous recipe promises that it will only take you 5 minutes to achieve a creamy guac. But it uses mayonnaise, which we frankly think is disgusting. If you want creamy guacamole, add a bit of olive oil and mix, then add a bit more until it is to your liking. 

The famous spring pea and avocado guacamole recipe

Credit: merlin_143416878_62a82be1-3e63-4da2-ba43-06ec39b38ce6-articleLarge. Digital image.
Credit: merlin_143416878_62a82be1-3e63-4da2-ba43-06ec39b38ce6-articleLarge. Digital image. The New York Times 

This recipe triggered a national debate on what guacamole actually is. It promises a chunky texture, which can be achieved instead by adding chopped onion and tomato. This is a mix between pea mash and our Mexican staple dish, and we really take offense.