Culture

If You Were A Dormilón You’ll Recognize All These Ways Our Moms Woke Us Up For School

LA schools are working on starting their days later because more and more young people are not getting the sleep they need. I wish this had been the law when I was growing up, because getting out of bed was a struggle. I had a mom, who like most moms had no time or help, and definitely had no patience when it came to me wanting to sleep in.

You know how it starts, just like I do:

You somehow stayed up late watching TV with the brightness down and close captions on.

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Via: Giphy / Hey Arnold!

Because you know mami’s hearing is better than a fruit bat and she wasn’t having no late nights.

Then, at some point around 3am, you decide, “okay, I can probably go to bed now, I’ll get 5 hours, I’ll be fine.”

The alarm goes off, and if you blink once, you’re done.

But there’s one alarm that isn’t snoozed so easily.

1. “El cuco viene a despertarte…”

Credit: Giphy / Harry Potter

There’s nothing that will get you in or out of bed faster than an “El Cuco” threat. And you know mami has him on speed dial.

2. “Te bañas o te baño.”

3. “¿Quieres la chancla?”

4. Switching the lights on and off.

5. Shouting, clapping, screaming, singing, blasting the radio, shouting again.

6. Pulling you out of the bed by your feet.

7. Jumping on your bed.

Via: Giphy / Boy Meets World

But that doesn’t matter as long as you’re following mami’s rules at home, coño!


READ: Anyone Who Ever Hated Going To Church Will Relate To Doing These 9 Things


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Free Fierce Advice: How To Sleep While Dealing With Anxiety And Insomnia

Fierce

Free Fierce Advice: How To Sleep While Dealing With Anxiety And Insomnia

Franck Prevel / Getty

If you’re on Twitter you’ve probably seen quite a few mentions of sleep insomnia stirring about. Despite months of being kept in quarantine, users on Twitter are reporting an increase in their inability to sleep. For some, the lack of Zs can be contributed to anxiety or restlessness thanks to being so cooped up but others don’t really know how to explain it.

Fortunately, Latinas are sharing their tricks for beating insomnia. @alixserna a user on Twitter shared a tip for beating insomnia and we asked Latinas on Instagram how they’re managing to get back to sleep and their answers were pretty enlightening.

Check them out below!

“I take everything out of the sockets that I can take and go direct inside the blankets hoping a lighting doesn’t strike anything near me.” – mariav_sf@yaya_love_312

“Yep! I also close blinds, put on headphones, and sit on the floor. Sometimes there may be a blanket on my head.” – yaya_love_312

“I’m afraid of the floor as well bc I like to stay barefoot and my feet sweat haha. But my floor is wooden, so definitely it wouldn’t be a bad idea.” =mariav_sf@yaya_love_312 

Use a podcast

“I listen to podcasts. That helps with my anxiety and helps me fall asleep.” –erixcii

I listen to sleep stations and set a timer to turn off sound in an hour, instead of having an alarm go off in an hour (scroll all the way to the bottom when setting up alarm the sound on an IPhone.)” – ev.rod_

“I’ll try this thank you! My insomnia is crazy!” – cabronas4theworld

“Calm app!!!” – la_femme_foto

“I downloaded a free app called Slumber they have relaxing sleep stories and meditations for kids/adults. My son and I listen to it together at night. Its helped a lot.”- thickfitgoals

Hypnosis

“You can do a Hypnosis sesh!” –erinyvonne

“Also…lower your caffeine intake especially close to bedtime, supplement with a good b vitamin and take a magnesium product like Calm.” – mrs_alvarado_13

“No phone 30minutes before getting into bed. Don’t check notifications as soon you wake up. Say out loud 3 things you’re grateful as you go to sleep/wake up.” – marycarne_

“Headspace app & And I bought eyeshades with Bluetooth headphones in them 🥰 does wonders.”- ashh_burke

Ceiling fans

“I realized i sleep better w my fan on like the highest setting bc of the sound! so i got an app called “bedtime fan” which blasts fan noise & you can set it with a timer so it turns off by itself .” – alexa.r.s

“Restful nights blend @serenitybliss_ my personal favorite.”- alexa.r.s

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Señora Myths are Passed Down From Generation to Generation, But Are Any of Them Real?

Culture

Señora Myths are Passed Down From Generation to Generation, But Are Any of Them Real?

MIFAMILIABRAVA / INSTAGRAM

At some point during our formative years, we all heard an old wives’ tale or two, right? Some seemed innocent enough — think “eating bread crust will make your hair turn curly” or “cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis.”

But actually, lots of these old wives’ tales came with some extra baggage that may have done a number on our collective psyche. Sure, they may have seemed harmless when we first heard them, they’ve managed to worm themselves into our thought patterns and maybe even created a few bad habits along the way. But don’t blame abuela, she too was passed down this knowledge before she passed it on to you.

These superstitions get passed down from generation to generation, and often enough they’re so effective they get snap us into total compliance. But few of us know why we’re so fearful or the reason behind them.

Nevertheless, these old wives tales are part of Latino culture.

Vick’s Vapor Rub Will Cure Everything

@AFRAIDOFTHEGAYS / TWITTER

Sure, you may know it as Vaporub or something totally different depending on where you grew up, but no matter your background, we can agree this menthol pomade has been hailed as a cure all by abuelas everywhere.

Sure the ointment may make us feel better (placebo anyone?) but it actually can be deadly if ingested and is toxic when used improperly.

Having A Baby Daughter Will Steal Your Beauty

Credit: Shutterstock Images

This sends several problematic messages. First of all, it implies there is something inherently wrong with having a daughter — which is obviously ridiculous. I swear this sounds like something a man who wanted a strapping young boy to “carry on his good name” started spreading.This old wives’ tale would have you believe beauty is entirely physical or superficial. But beauty is many things: mental, physical, emotional, psychological… none of which can be stripped away by the natural and, it must be said, beautiful act of giving birth to a baby.

You Can’t Make Tamales When You’re Angry

Credit: Pixabay

According to this old wives’ tale, if you even attempt to make tamales when you’re enojada…they just won’t turn out right. And nobody’s wants to work so hard on tamales for them to end up flat and flavorless.

Opening An Umbrella Inside Is The Worst Luck

Seriously, this one I believe in so much I freak out at even the thought of it happening by accident. This is another superstition that crosses cultures but leave it to Latinos to add in another layer – if you do this, you won’t get married.

Going Out With Wet Hair When It’s Cold Will Make You Sick

If you grew up in a Latino household, you can bet you’re used to hearing your mom or abuelita scolding you for going outside with wet hair. But this myth has been debunked more times than you’ll eat pozole when you do actually have a cold. Colds and the flu come from viruses (and some bacterias) – plain and simple.

You’ll Never Get Married If A Broom Touches Your Feet

Credit: Pixabay

Basically, if you’re single and ready to mingle, don’t go near any brooms. This old wives tale says that if someone is sweeping and they accidentally brush your feet with the broom, you’ll end up single forever.

To Find Love, All You Need Is Four Eggs

Credit: Pixabay

To draw someone to you, you need 4 eggs: break two in corners, and one more at the door of the person you want to attract. The last one put inside a white cup and place it under your bed. That’s it. True love.

Cutting Your Hair During A Full Moon Could Mean…?

Credit: Pixabay

It’s believed that cutting your hair during a full moon could actually make it grow faster. Is it true? Well, maybe. The long-trusted Farmers Almanac actually lists the best dates to cut your hair based on the lunar calendar…so maybe?

Shaving Your Legs Causes the Hair to Grow Back Darker

Credit: Pixabay

Let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with not shaving. This old tale would have you believe that having thicker or darker hair anywhere on your body is cause for major concern. The reality is that cutting does not stimulate new hair growth.

Brooms Can Help Determine Your Social Life

Credit: Pixabay

Again, with the brooms. This one says that if you put a broom behind the door, your guests will leave sooner. And if a broom falls, it can tell you a lot about your visit depending on the direction it falls. Backward = bad visit. Forward = good visit.

Putting Your Purse On The Floor

Credit; Growing Up Blackxican

“A purse on the floor is money our the door.” This isn’t specific to Latino families, in fact, it’s very common belief across Asia as well. But both cultures share the believe that if you place your purse on the floor, you’ll soon be losing some money.

Itchy Palms And Your Finances

Credit: Pixabay

This is another very common wives tale across cultures but Latinos add a unique twist and get very specific. Basically, if your right palm itches you’ll be coming into some coins. Meanwhile, if it’s the left – be prepared to be a little less wealthy since you’ll likely be giving money away.

Heartburn During Pregnancy Can Lead To A Head Full Of Hair

Credit: Pinterest

There are soooo many superstitions related to pregnancy but this one is definitely interesting. Woman struggle with all sorts of symptoms during pregnancy including heartburn. So this one stands to reason if you’re dealing with heartburn, your baby will be born with beautiful locks of hair.

If You Drop a Biscuit, It is a Sure Sign Your Husband Will Be Poor

Credit: The Pioneer Woman

This one is straight up laughable but for some reason is still all to common. I mean let’s dissect this one real quick: not all little girls are going to grow up to marry a man. Nor will every little girl even want to get married. Then there’s the whole issue with thinking that women only value wealth in their potential mate. Yea, this one has got to go.

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