Culture

If You Are A Chismosa, You Definitely Know These 9 Stages Of Chisme

There is nothing in life than than gets you more excited than some well-timed, super juicy chisme. Doesn’t matter if you know the people involved or not, as soon as you catch wind of some hot gossip you turn full detective, spokesperson, and messenger (because you have to keep the crew informed). Social media has only made the chismosa in all of us more active because now you don’t even have to be in the same room to get the latest scoop.

Here are all the stages you go through with chisme from start to finish.

You kind of lose your sh*t when you first hear (or read) the latest chisme.

CREDIT: mitú

Like, OMG. Can you believe what Vanessa just said about Horacio? Time to get more details.

Once you know it’s even half legit, you find ways to creep into any conversation about either party involved.

CREDIT: mitú

Even if it means befriending someone that you had a major falling out with, you will find a way to get more of the story. You’re basically an investigator trying to gather all the facts before spreading the news with the squad.

Once you learn the juiciest details, the time comes to decide who you want to tell first.

CREDIT: mitú

You start by being selective and only telling that one person you trust, but soon enough your tías, friends, neighbors, tu peluquera María, even your dog starts to get all the deets and they are living for it.

Of course, you cover your bases with the “you didn’t hear from me” line.

CREDIT: mitú

Solid way to keep your name out of the drama because with all these chismosas in your life, you don’t know which one of them may accidentally slip your name when they retell the story.

You always have to act surprised when someone close to the situation opens up to you about the chisme.

CREDIT: mitú

Me: “OMG. When did this happen? That’s so crazy!” ?

One of your friends is bound to let slip that you are spreading the news but you are prepared with your defense.

CREDIT: mitú

And that defense is total denial. You didn’t say a thing, got it?

Finally, your Superbowl arrives. Sh*t is about to go down and you have to be there to witness the main event.

CREDIT: mitú

It has been simmering for mooonths and you are about to get the payoff. You’ve invested time, resources, and brain power to following this chisme so you have to see it to the end.

You, very stealthily, make your way over to the spot where it is all about to go down.

CREDIT: mitú

But who are you rooting for? What is going to happen? Will there be a fight? Is this the end of a friendship? Nerves are on end and you just can’t bear the anxiety as the journey comes to a close.

Once you are there, the only thing to do is to find a good, hidden spot, and get ready to watch it all unfold.

CREDIT: mitú

Let’s not forget. All of the people in your circle want to know what goes down so you take notes, pictures, videos, and you might even livestream it. Everyone deserves closure and this is the best way to get it.

We want to know…


READ: Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

Share this story with all of your friends by tapping that little share button below!

‘Saturday Night Live’ Excludes Julián Castro From Sketch And His Twin Brother Said He Could Have Played The Part

Entertainment

‘Saturday Night Live’ Excludes Julián Castro From Sketch And His Twin Brother Said He Could Have Played The Part

@natimontelongo / Twitter / Saturday Night Live / NBC

“Saturday Night Live” doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to people of color, specifically Latinos. In the show’s iconic history, which spans 44 years, the cast has mostly been white and male. In 2016, they finally hired a Latina to join the cast, which was a year after “SNL” decided to have Donald Trump host the show when he was running for president and calling Mexicans “rapists and criminals.” Latinos boycotted the show and they did receive backlash for allowing him to host. Yet, still “SNL” has yet to learn the importance of Latino representation and inclusion. 

On the season 45 premiere, “SNL” did a sketch that featured the Democratic presidential candidates but did not include Julián Castro and did include Marianne Williamson, who’s not in the running anymore. 

So why didn’t the have someone impersonating Castro? We know they don’t have any Latino comics on the show, however, they could have had their sole Latina comic Melissa Villaseñor put on a wig. She has played a man before. The sketch did include special guest stars including Maya Rudolf (who played Kamala Harris), and Larry David (who played Bernie Sanders). Could they have not asked former Latino “SNL” comics Fred Armisen or Horatio Sanz to play Castro?

“Interesting that @nbcsnl decided to cut one candidate out of this sketch. Could you not find a Latino actor to play @JulianCastro?” Sawyer Hackett, national press secretary for Castro’s campaign, tweeted. 

People on social media were livid at the exclusion of Castro and once again their dismissive attitude toward Latinos. 

Credit: @natimontelongo / Twitter

Was it too difficult for “SNL” to add one more actor to the stage, especially one that is still in the running — unlike Williamson? Lin-Manuel Miranda and his dad said they would have both stepped up to the plate to play the role of Castro. 

It’s as if “SNL” continues to make the wound even deeper by excluding the only Latino candidate. 

Credit: @latinovictoryus / Twitter

“SNL” knows very well that representation matters, so there’s no excuse for this exclusion. Are they doing this on purpose?

Maybe they think Castro’s persona isn’t funny enough to include in a parody?

Credit: @MrMikeBlake / Twitter

If “SNL” has talented writers they could have surely written something hilarious for an actor portraying Castro. We already have staggering facts that show film and TV excludes Latinos in overwhelming statistics, so you would think “SNL” (and all programming for that matter) would want to rectify that. Maybe they just don’t care?

“SNL” has a long history of dissing Latinos, so this just makes it worse.

Credit: @JuanSaaa / Twitter

Latino viewers and talent have been asking for more representation for several seasons now. There was celebration from fans when Melissa Villseñor was brought on in 2016.

Many people see their omission of Castro as the show disregarding Latinos.

Credit: @cristela9 / Twitter

This overt move by “SNL” actually made the skit not very funny but cringeworthy. The erasure of the only Latino running for the presidency was glaring.

You know “SNL” messed up bad when Latina moms get involved. 

Credit: @anabpez9 / Twitter

If you make Latina moms mad, asking for their forgiveness won’t be easy to do. Trust us. We have all been there. However, when you really try to make things up to them, they will accept it.

Since “SNL” screwed up the premiere, will they correct their huge mistake by the next episode?

Credit: @XorjeO / Twitter

There’s another debate coming up very soon, and if “SNL” is going to stay relevant in the political comedy stage they better include Castro or they will risk not only alienating a core audience but also looking like they can’t handle diverse comedy.

And, if “SNL” can’t find anyone to play Castro, there’s one person that will be happy to do it. 

Credit: @Castro4Congress / Twitter

Julian’s twin brother, Joaquin Castro — who’s pretty busy right now working on Capitol Hill himself — said he could step in and portray him on the show. We think he’d do a fabulous job because he clearly knows him best right?

Either way, “SNL” needs to get their act together. There’s no reason to exclude a strong candidate for president only to be replaced by a white woman who isn’t running for president anymore. It’s an obvious omission that “SNL” needs to stop. 

READ: New Latina “SNL” Cast Member Called Out Over Controversial Tweets

These 20 Latino Sayings Will Get You Through Any And Every Day

Culture

These 20 Latino Sayings Will Get You Through Any And Every Day

Sai De Silva / Unsplash

Life is complicated. Luckily, Latinos have sayings, or refrains, that help with managing expectations and making better choices. Beyond offering sound advice, some clever sayings, when dropped like jewels at just the right moment, help transform tension into laughter. While some sayings seem outdated, folk witticisms leftover from the early days, they address elements of the human condition that are timeless like love, jealousy, ingratitude, and morality. Whether deciding to stay in a long-distance relationship or looking for an old-school diss, these 20 Latino sayings are worth memorizing and dishing out the next time a golden opportunity presents itself.

Talk About Love

Credit: Sticker Mule / Unsplash

1. Mejor sola que mala acompañada.

Better to be alone then among bad company. This saying is great for those moments when the fear of being alone starts to kick in. More deeply, this timeless saying is also reflective of the importance of self- love.

2. Amor de lejos, felices los cuatros.

In long-distance love, four people are happy. This pessimistic proverb suggests long-distance relationships provide fertile ground for infidelity. This saying came about before technology helped couples stay more in touch than ever. And yet, the possibility remains.

3. Juntos pero no revueltos.

Together but not mixed. This dicho is the equivalent of saying, “It’s complicated.” It’s a great way to explain why a couple doesn’t live together, or why they are not married.

4. Un clavo saca otro clavo.

A nail removes the other nail. The meaning behind this refrán is that a new relationship, or lover, can help a person get over a failed relationship.

5.  Ojos que no ven, corazón que no siente.

Out of sight, out of mind. It’s hard to say this refrán without thinking about Alexis & Fido’s 2009 hit song.

Proceed With Caution

Credit: Belinda Fewings / Unsplasj

6. Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.

Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. This saying has come out of many parents’ mouths. It’s a perfect proverb for helping a person decide what kind of company they should keep.

7. Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo.

The devil knows more because he is old than because he is the devil. In other words, with age comes wisdom. This saying also warns against elders who may be sly or have bad intentions.

8. Con un dedo no se tapa el sol.

The sun cannot be covered with a finger. This is a great piece of advice that addresses the way self-deception is harmful. It also calls out quick fixes that don’t serve to address larger issues.

9. En boca cerrada no entran moscas.

A closed mouth does not catch flies. This idiom more accurately translates to ‘silence is golden.’ This refrán extols the virtues of discretion.

10. El que no llora, no mama.

The baby who doesn’t cry, doesn’t get milk. This saying is akin to ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease.’ A great refrán serving to inspire vocalization of needs and wants.

Insults Que Arden

Credit: Charles / Unsplash

11. A otro perro con ese hueso.

To another dog with that bone. It’s the “talk to the hand” of all the idioms. Deploy this saying at the sight of deception. 

12. Se cree la última Coca Cola del desierto.

He/She thinks they are the last Coca-Cola in the desert. A third-degree burn, this little gem calls out people who think they are more attractive or desirable than everyone else.

13. Se cree mejor de la bolita del mundo.

He/She thinks they are the best in the world. The exact translation fails to convey the hilarity of this saying. While also a diss to those who think they are hot stuff, the saying reduces the entire planet into a tiny, little ball.

14. Se fue de Guatemala a Guata-peor!

This a saying that relies on a play on words, mala meaning bad, and peor meaning worse. The idea is that the person went from one bad situation to an even worse situation.

15. Cuando tu ibas, yo venia.

When you were coming, I was leaving. A great diss from an elder, this dicho also conveys a knowing that comes with age. It works particularly well when directed at teenagers who attempt to be deceptive but are really transparent. 

For the Nostalgia and the LOLs

Credit: Ashley Whitlatch / Unsplash

16. Quien fue a Sevilla, perdió su silla.

Who went to Sevilla lost his/her chair. Here is a fun phrase that relies on wordplay and rhyme. 

17. Tirar las puertas por las ventanas.

Throw the doors out the windows. This is what you say when you plan to have an absolute blow out party! Think of New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo, or birthdays.

18. Vete a freír papas.

Go fry potatoes. While this saying may seem like an insult, it works as a playful way to tell someone to go to hell without sounding so vulgar.

19. Por si las moscas.

For if the flies. This is more of a nostalgic phrase that means ‘just in case.’ Use it when deciding on whether or not to pack that snack bar or an umbrella. 

20. Calabaza, calabaza, todo el mundo para su casa!

Pumpkin, pumpkin, everyone go home! Our final phrase is a fun way to end the fiesta, or bring the gathering to a close.

READ: 13 Mexican Sayings that Sound Really Weird When They’re Translated Literally