Culture

You Thought Giving Up Chocolate Was Nuts, Look At These 9 Crazy Things My Family Endured For Lent

Most people give up sweets, smoking, excessive drinking or social media during Lent. But, because everything Puerto Ricans do is exagerado, my household during Lent got medieval. Between my religious grandmother and my mom, the ‘suffering’ part of Lent was… not symbolic. Here are the nine ways my abuela made us really suffer during Lent.

1. You’re giving up chocolate for 40 days? That’s cute. Once the sun set, our home was enveloped in darkness, because we gave up electricity.

Arrival
Arrival/ Paramount

This was especially cruel in a household where El Cuco was real. You know he comes out in the dark!

2. You gave up drinking? Nice. How about no TV, music or dancing?  Can’t laugh when you’re supposed to be suffering.

Literally abuela’s response when asked if dancing was allowed during Lent:

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The Office/ NBC

Keeping a group of Puerto Rican kids from dancing is like caging a bird. We just want to pop and lock, abuela!

3. Wearing less makeup for Lent is a smart move, but we just went ahead and covered all the mirrors. Examining your beauty was vanity — extremely disrespectful.

Mirror Mirror
Snow White/ Disney

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the holiest of them all?”

4. Most families spend less money during Lent. My family was forced to attend live reenactments of the “Stations of the Cross,” where the real carnage of the story happened for free.

Reddit

Imagine seeing that when you’re in elementary. It’s a little traumatic.

5. Quitting porn for Lent? It’s easier if you’re in my family, because we were forced to watch films that reenacted the suffering of Jesus.

Watch Me Whip
The Da Vinci Code/ Sony Pictures

Mom referred to them as “horror movies,” and I agree — the only thing worse than this scene from “The Da Vinci Code” was Tom Hanks’ mullet in that movie.

6. Introducing more veggies into your diet? Solid choice. Because you couldn’t eat meat at all for Lent at my house.

No More Cookie Monster
Youtube

That’s 40 days of vegetarianism.

7. Giving up coffee? No problem! Ice showers will wake you up when you say goodbye to hot water, like my family did.

Cold Water
The Shining/ Warner Bros. /Giphy

After a while, your skin goes numb and you barely feel it!

8. Be more organized? Great idea. When I broke my grandma’s rules, she made us kneel on uncooked rice.

Uncle Phil
Fresh Prince of Bel Air/ NBC/ Tumblr

My grandma had el tío Phil on speed-dial.

9. Easter Sunday morning: put on your best duds and celebrate like you didn’t just experience 40 days of light torture. Yay!

Eye Twitch
Bob’s Burgers/ FOX

Nothing like actively repressing your memories with nice outfits, candy, and an egg hunt.

READ: Admit It, THIS Is The Most Fun Part Of Ash Wednesday

What kind of old school stuff did your parents do for religious holidays? Comment below and let us know!

Trump’s Children Were Called Anchor Babies By George Lopez And A Lot Of People Got Very Upset

Entertainment

Trump’s Children Were Called Anchor Babies By George Lopez And A Lot Of People Got Very Upset

georgelopez / Instagram

The term “anchor baby” is an offensive term that President Donald Trump used before his political career. The phrase refers to the children of undocumented people U.S. By law, that makes them U.S. citizens. The term, however, is Trump’s way of demonizing the offspring of immigrants. Calling anyone an anchor baby is a moot point because everyone in the United States comes from immigrants except Native Americans, and some Mexicans whose ancestors were born on U.S. soil when the land still belonged to Mexico. But all of this is to say, the majority of U.S. citizens come from immigrants. Never the less, the term was brought up recently due to the impending ICE raids.

After Trump threatened undocumented people in the U.S. with ICE raids last week, comedian George Lopez told them to detain Trump’s “anchor” babies.

“Uh, @icegov ‘if your listening’ you can find these immigrants at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave – Signed Enrique Empanada the third 😭😭 #vivalaraza #45melapela.”

The post included mariachi music and the Trump family with photoshopped sombreros.

Lopez’s use of “anchor baby” is using Trump’s words against him by suggesting that his ex-wife and current wife, both immigrants, had children in the U.S. making them citizens, which is a birthright.

Lopez is a loud opponent of Trump and his administration since before the election. It began after the then-candidate referred to Mexicans as “rapists” and “criminals.”

During his 2017 comedy special, Lopez said if he ever ran into Trump, he would sexually assault him since he said that is what Mexicans do. Lopez also pretended to urinate on Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with a plastic water bottle.

So did people like the joke? Hmmm…yes and no.

The joke can be taken different ways depending how you look at it. For some people, it is great to see these words weaponized against the man who is harming the community.

He’s only saying what Trump has been saying for years.

Trump and Lopez have the same logic, which makes the joke very funny. They think that using insults is the way to debate these kinds of issues. Clearly, the Instagram post is catching people’s attention.

Did he go too far?

People didn’t like that he used a picture of the youngest Trump. However, to be fair, Trump has no issue with infants being taken from parents at the southern border and left in detention centers. Those in the detention centers have ended up getting pretty sick lately.

Lopez gained new fans from the joke.

They say some humor is supposed to be offensive. Not to mention that political comedy can get really offensive since people don’t like being challenged.

Oh, come on now. Why are you crying?

Did you think the joke was funny or do you think that Lopez went a step too far.

READ: People Are Dragging George Lopez Because He Says He Is Going To Quit Golf Until A Clean DREAM Act Is Passed

SPOILER ALERTS: The Latest Episode Of HBO’s ‘Los Espookys’ Is Proof It Could Surpass GOT In Cult Status

Entertainment

SPOILER ALERTS: The Latest Episode Of HBO’s ‘Los Espookys’ Is Proof It Could Surpass GOT In Cult Status

HBO

On June 13 2019, HBO premiered “Los Espookys,” it’s Spanish-language horror comedy from the mind of Fred Armisen. Needless to say, we were immediate fans. Between the subtly hilarious script and its impeccable delivery, the series proved from episode one that it’s worth the watch. Don’t even get us started on how much we love the horror elements we’ve seen so far.

The second episode of “Los Espookys” is just as addictive and entertaining as the first. Titled “El Espanto de la Herencia,” the episode is so good, it demands a recap.

Here are some of the most spooky and most hysterical parts of “Los Espookys” episode two.

Last week, we met Renaldo, Úrsula, Tati and Andrés, four friends bonded by their love of horror.

HBO

The gang was encouraged by Renaldo’s uncle, Tio Tico, to pursue that passion and turn it into a career. Calling themselves Los Espookys, they were approached by a mysterious woman who wants to use their terrifying talents. With this in mind, it’s time to brainstorm how they’ll approach this next job.

However, before we can check in with Los Espookys, the series introduces us to the US Ambassador.

Horror DNA

Her name is US Ambassador Melanie Gibbons and she’s received an important letter. The letter — which is in Spanish, not coded as she first suspects — informs her that her friend Ignacio Ferracuti has died. However, he’s left his 18.9 billion peso fortune to whoever can survive a night in his haunted mansion.

To borrow Ambassador Gibbons words, “Okay, twist!” She’s been chosen as one of five strangers to compete for his fortune. It’s all very exciting for her.

Similarily, Los Espookys are excited for this upcoming challenge.

Horror DNA

We finally get to see to the official Los Espookys headquarters — which happens to be Renaldo’s garage. While Andrés pushes for avant-garde and challanging tricks, Renaldo wants to stick to the basics. Úrsula just wants confirmation that they’re going to be paid.

Meanwhile, back in LA, Tio Tico is in an unusual situation.

Horror DNA

Following last week’s encounter at a major celebrity party, Tico has been mistaken for an elusive artist. Due to this mix-up, he’s been roped into speaking at an art panel. The whole thing has snowballed and Tio Tico is just along for the ride.

Unfortunately, Andrés is finding it hard to balance his life as Prince of Chocolate and his spooky calling.

HBO

Being the heir to a chocolate fortune is hard. As his boyfriend reminds him, Andrés has duties he needs to commit to or else he will be removed as heir. However, the curious man is preoccupied with uncovering the mystery of his birth and his new side gig. What is a Chocolate Prince to do?

Finally, it’s the big night!

Horror DNA

Too bad Renaldo has been ditched by the other members of Los Espookys. Andrés, Úrsula y Tati have all shown up last minute, leaving Renaldo to set up. What’s worse, nobody hired the actors they need so Renaldo has to step in as the creepy butler. Let’s just say, the role is out of his range.

Still, the goal of the haunted house is to get rid of one contestant in particular. The Mysterious Woman announces to Los Espookys that Sr. Ferracuti’s son is a contestant and must not win. However, he seems impossible to shake with the frankly unimpressive scares.

Los Espookys are in a funk and they need some serious rallying.

HBO

Andrés is obsessed with the dead ends he keeps getting in his search for his origin. Úrsula is obsessed with getting paid. Tati is obsessed with Snap Chatting her shady internet boyfriend.

Renaldo is about to give up but some unexpectedly good advise from Tati inspires him. After a rallying call from Renaldo, Los Espookys are back. They’re going to pull off the scariest trick they can.

We don’t want to give away the ending, but the episode wraps up with the possibility of more jobs in their future.

HBO

Will Tati continue her internet relationship? Will Andrés learn the origins of his birth? What sort of adventure will Los Spookys get into next week? We’ll have to watch to find out.

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