Culture

You Don’t Know What Scary Is Until You See These Videos Of Latina Moms

It doesn’t matter how many horror movies you watch this October, nothing surpasses the fear of having to face your Latina mom when she’s mad AF, and these videos will remind you of that feeling of terror…

One thing that makes you freeze in fear, is the sight of your phone when you have more than one missed call from your mom.

Mexican Horror Story: Missed Call

Mexican Horror Story…missed call from mamá.

Posted by We are mitú on Sunday, June 12, 2016

CREDIT: WE ARE MITÚ / FACEBOOK

It’s best if you don’t let it go over 5 missed calls.

At night, it’s the fear of coming home after curfew and your mom is waiting for you at the doorstep like this…

CREDIT: @STEVENVANEGAS1 / TWITTER

And then she’ll spend the entire next day reminding you, “Ahh pero anoche.”

Even worse, is the suspense you feel after sleeping over a friend’s house without your mom’s permission and then getting home the next morning.

????? when your child doesn't come home to sleep, and your Mexican mom waits for you at the door ???? so done with my mom lol Guillermo Garcia getting whooped ??

Posted by Fatima Garcia on Sunday, January 1, 2017

CREDIT: FATIMA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

You have to prepare for a long lecture.

And if it’s your sibling who is getting in trouble, like in the video above, the last thing you want to do is get in the middle of their fight.

CREDIT: @SEBAEKSGF / TWITTER

…or else you’ll be next.

But fear rises to another level when your mom finds out about a secret you’ve been keeping from her.

It doesn't matter what age she will get mad.

Posted by We are mitú on Saturday, March 4, 2017

CREDIT: WE ARE MITÚ / FACEBOOK

This is exactly what happened to my brother when my mom found out about his tattoo.

And if you knew about the secret all along but didn’t tell your mom, you’re about to be in just as much trouble.

CREDIT: @LOVELISBETH / TWITTER

Yup, I also got yelled at because I knew about my brother’s tattoo but didn’t say anything.

You can have Jason coming towards you with his bloody chainsaw and it still wouldn’t be as scary as your mom walking towards you with her chancla.

The chancla scares anyone… ???

Posted by Fatima Garcia on Wednesday, September 6, 2017

CREDIT: FATIMA GARCIA / FACEBOOK

The look on that little boy’s face. ?

But it’s not only your mom’s chancla that you fear…

Even an elote is a weapon.

Posted by We are mitú on Tuesday, May 16, 2017

CREDIT: WE ARE MITÚ / FACEBOOK

This mom really just hit him with a corn.

You can try to run or hide, but there’s no escaping once you hear your mom’s voice get to this tone:

Story of my childhood.

Posted by We are mitú on Wednesday, January 18, 2017

CREDIT: MARCIAL ALEJANDRO HURTADO PALOMO / YOUTUBE

Oooooooo you KNOW that boy is in big trouble.

Ultimately, you can combine Jason, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger, and it still wouldn’t be scarier than this:

"Hispanic Halloween" by David Lopez

HISPANIC HALLOWEEN

Posted by David Lopez on Saturday, October 14, 2017

CREDIT: DAVID LOPEZ / FACEBOOK

This should be an actual horror film.


WATCH: I Took My Mexican Mom To Knott’s Scary Farm For The First Time And This Is What Happened


Comment and share if you relate to this! 

These 11 Terrifying Latino Horror Films Need To Be Added To Your October Watch List

Entertainment

These 11 Terrifying Latino Horror Films Need To Be Added To Your October Watch List

Miramax Films

If you’re a horror fan, and you haven’t seen these, then you know nothing about real fear. As a child, I would binge-watch every single horror movie I could find. They creeped the hell out of me, but I loved the adrenaline rush. Name any classic you want, I’ve seen them all; the more I watched, the less they scared me. Later, I discovered that most of these mainstream films relied on what is known as “boo horror,” which basically means that what scares the audience is thanks to good editing rather than the story.

And well, let me tell you that, just when I was starting to get bored of this particular type of horror: enter Latino cinema. The thing about Latin American horror movies is that they don’t rely on jump scares or outdated clichés. The reason why they’re scary is the plot and the themes they explore. So, if you’re ready to be really scared, I dare you to watch these 11 films.

Night Of The Living Dead

Did you know George Romero’s dad was Cuban? (I did, because like all Cubans, I keep a running list.) Well, he is! And so Romero is on this here list. Now, you’ve very likely already seen his opus, Night of the Living Dead, and know its contributions to the zombie genre, effectively changing the pop culture perception of zombies from corpses controlled by others through ritual means, to undead jerkwads lumbering slowly towards you while you take shelter in a shack or perhaps, later, in a shopping mall. But that doesn’t mean you can’t watch it again. And again and again.

Santa Sangre

No one does avant-garde psychedelic weirdness like Jodorowsky. Santa Sangre is no exception, following the story of Fenix, a former circus performer, and his relationship to his parents, particularly to the mother who keeps a literal and figurative hold on him through much of his development.

Roger Ebert praised Jodorowsky for expanding the horror genre by reminding viewers that “true psychic horror is possible on the screen–horror, poetry, surrealism, psychological pain and wicked humor, all at once.”

KM 31

This one is secretly about La Llorona. I have to admit, I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending but the rest of the film was amazing. The production value was on par with a Hollywood horror film. This one is about the power of twins. One has an accident that leaves her in a coma. The conscious twin tries to figure out what happened to her sister and winds up in the tangles of a curse on the highway’s Kilometro 31.

Mas Negro Que La Noche

Hot girl inherits creepy old house and is forced to watch after a black cat. What can go wrong? They used to play this on Univision back in the day when they used to have old Mexican movie marathons on Sundays. This flick is filled with famous 70s & 80s Mexican telenovela stars: Lucia Mendez, Claudia Islas, Elena Rojo, and Susana Dosamantes (aka Paulina Rubio’s mom).

The Devil’s Backbone

I originally had four (4) del Toro movies on this list and had to narrow it down to two, which was like picking from among one’s children. (I assume picking a favorite child is equally difficult as picking a favorite movie, yes? I knew it.)

But here’s the thing: You’ve already seen The Devil’s Backbone. You already know the deal: Spanish Civil War, orphanage, defused bomb, mysterious ghost-boy. So I’ll use this space to share this link to the story of why del Toro often distances himself from a movie taken off the list: Mimic. Because there’s always a place for classic ghost stories, but never enough for giant mutant insects.

Cronos

Here’s our other del Toro entry: Cronos! Because who doesn’t love a good, inventive twist on a vampire story that also serves as a metaphor for society’s obsession with youth and virility? Cronos beat out Crimson Peak because, while the latter is truly a beautiful, visually stunning work, Cronos‘ story of love, loss and sacrifice simply holds up better throughout the film.

REC

Spain is at it again with this cinéma vérité (aka mock documentary aka found footage) style zombie flick. Scary as hell! Don’t let the crappy American version, Quarantine, fool you. This one will make you check behind the shower curtain when you pee.

Alucarda

Being a teen girl is hard enough, never mind being an orphan in a Catholic convent. Add demonic possession into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster / a truly fantastic horror movie with stunning visuals (just take a look at the nuns’ super stylized and highly evocative habits and robes, for instance). The film’s emphasis on a close emotional and physical relationship between two young girls has drawn comparisons to the classic vampire tale, Carmilla, made all the more apparent when you notice that “Alucarda” is simply “Dracula” with the letters rearranged.

Somos Lo Que Hay

The family that eats together, stays together, for better or for worse. In this film, which was remade for U.S. audiences in 2013, follows a family struggling with maintaining an ancient, bloody ritual and the impact it has both on their bodies and souls. You’ll never look at family dinners the same way again.

From Dusk Til Dawn

Vampires, as it turns out, can take on all sorts of day jobs, like dancing at the infamous “Titty Twister” strip club. Robert Rodriguez’s pulpy take on vampires takes place in a small town in Mexico and includes plenty of bikers, truck drivers, fugitives, and the site of an ancient Aztec temple.

Mama

Argentine director Andrés Muschietti based his feature film about a spooky-but-maternal ghosts, Mama, on his own 2008, Spanish-language short, Mamá. You can watch the whole thing here, but make sure to keep the lights on. Muschietti is definitely one to watch

These Urban Legends Are The Things Of Nightmares And We Pray They Aren’t Real

Culture

These Urban Legends Are The Things Of Nightmares And We Pray They Aren’t Real

THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA YOUTUBE

Even in this day and age where #fakenews and hoaxes have caused a lot of damage, us Latinos have to admit that a good urban legend or conspiracy theory is super entertaining. Let’s be honest: our gente are sort of superstitious and a bit chismosas by nature (maybe it is that Catholic upbringing many of us have, maybe it is our hypercreative mind). Truth is that urban legends have taken deep root in our collective mind.

We can think, for example, of the hundreds of hours that people have spent looking for the Loch Ness monster, or all the people who argue that they have definitely seen Big Foot.  

So what is an urban legend or myth?

Credit: FoxADHD / Giphy

The Oxford dictionary describes it as follows, although we gotta tell that the definition is pretty Anglo and us Latinos take these leyendas urbanas much more seriously : “urban myth noun: a humorous or horrific story or piece of information circulated as though true, especially one purporting to involve someone vaguely related or known to the teller”

El Chupacabra

But can it be real? Not really, but there could have been a spike in the population of predatory species in Northern Mexico, or a drought that forced animals to hunt beyond their usual territory.

El Chupacabra is like the epitome of the Latino urban legend. In 1994, just as Mexico was living perhaps its most turbulent political time since the Mexican Revolution, sightings of a terrible beast in rural areas started to be reported. Goats and other livestock were reportedly found dead, their blood completely sucked dry. Mass hysteria followed! Critics said that this was just a government plot to distract the population. Even the cult 1990s sci-fi show The X-Files aired a Chupacabra-themed episode!

La Ciguapa

Credit: Warriors Of Myth

But can it be real? Well, it depends on whether you believe in the supernatural or not… It is a pretty good moral story against male lust though.

This is a Dominican myth that has scared people from the island for centuries. Legend goes that there is a nymph-like creature living in the caves of the Dominican Republic, and that they hunt men by luring them with their beauty. They kill and eat their victims. 

And of course, La Llorona.

But can it be real? It is real in its metaphorical nature, as it speaks of motherly love and suffering.

Ay, mis hijos! For some, La Llorona is only a myth, a story to scare kids with. Others swear that they have seen her roaming the night with her mournful cry. She is supposed to have been a woman who was abandoned by her husband and was left alone to raise her two kids. She instead drowned them, overwhelmed by their needs. 

El Coco

But can it be real? No, but the need to go to sleep in time to let your parents have a life of their own is real! 

If you grew up Latino you heard of El Coco, also known as El Cucuy. It is a horrible monster than visits kids at night when they just refuse to go to sleep or if you misbehave. If we think about it, this is pretty traumatizing and even though some Latino mothers find in El Coco their best ally, it kinda sucks! 

La Luz Mala

But can it be real? Well, yes, it exists, but as a meteorological phenomenon rather than a supernatural hell.

In rural Argentina people get afraid of “La luz mala”, which means “The Evil Light”, when the air is dry and an orange, heavy light can be seen suspended on the air. Story goes that it is the souls of the damned and that it spells trouble, a bad omen that will bring suffering to those who see it. Other versions indicate that the light comes from an indigenous pot and that if you find it you will become rich. 

The Black Witch Moth or Mariposas Negras

But can it be real? They are spooky as hell, yeah… but you could basically find any correlation between death and any given factor.

There is one animal that many Latinos fear even more than a wild lion: mariposas negras. If you bump into one of these huge butterflies you are coming into direct contact with death, and someone close will pass on to another life. In Japan, this species is believed to bring good luck and in the Bahamas it announces money will come your way. 

El Culebrón

But can it be real? Well, scientists are discovering new species all the time, so this could actually be one of those.

This myth originates in Chile. Basically, it is a giant snake that lives in a cave and comes out at night, eating just anything on its path. To make matters even creepier, this supersnake is supposed to be covered by hair. Ay, no mames!