If you and your friends live by the girl code, you know there’s bound to be some drama if anyone breaks the rules. But are these codes really serious, or are they kind of silly? Check them out and decide for yourself…
1. Never hate on another woman’s success.
Don't hate on other women period, or their success. #GirlCode
It’s a hard reality to face: the fact that we often treat our friends and spouses better than we do ourselves. After all, this might be because it’s a little bit easier. When we see our friends, we don’t necessarily always see the flaws. In fact, it’s easier to see how beautiful their flaws are and we shower them with compliments and praise about their appearances.
But what if our friends spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves.
See someone of the sweet replies to the question, below.
“Not long at all. In fact, I routinely remind myself to talk to myself like I would to a friend. We are our own worst critics.” –Irritabl
“That bit of advice really changed how I talk to myself when I’m alone. Like, if my best friend were telling me “well you probably aren’t good enough anyway. You should put more effort in to being prettier/being funnier/acting like [insert other person]” I’d be so, so hurt.
That kind of talk is nasty and not constructive! So don’t put up with it from anyone—including yourself. It’s hard to be happy when someone is constantly tearing you down, right?
And yes, it’s easier said than done. But the tricks that helped me curb the negative self-talk are:
Recognize when it’s happening. Learn the difference between self-criticism and self-hatred. There’s a difference between saying “Ugh, I really should have done better on that work assignment. Those careless mistakes add up.” and “Everyone thinks you’re stupid now, why didn’t you do a better job on something so simple?”
Get to the bottom of those thoughts by asking questions. I still fall victim to the “people think you’re…” thoughts, and every single time I have to ask myself “Who actually said that? Do you know that for sure? What’s making you feel defeated/nervous/inferior without any evidence? And even if someone DID say it—do you care what they think?!”
Those answers usually help me reframe whatever I’m feeling. Bc 9 times out of 10 it boils down to me fearing the worst and creating a situation where my insecurity gets the best of me.
Sorry for the Ted Talk, just feel rly passionately about this.” –NOTORIOUS_BLT
“Exactly. I always try to put myself in “best friend shoes” when I catch myself criticizing inwards.” –bradynelise
“I would be like ‘damn sister you do NOT shut up and you contradict yourself a LOT.’” – throwra_sillyinquiry
“Love this! Me too, but a few years ago, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I have been changing the way I speak to myself and I feel so much better… and now I am so glad I stuck with it/me!” –formidableegg
“They would be out the door, kinda sucks being a self aware mentally ill person cause you know it’s not true yet convincing yourself otherwise feels impossible.” – annonforareasonduh
“Haha, this is exactly what I do with my kids. If they say something mean about themselves, I say, ‘I’m sorry, NOBODY is allowed to talk to ____ like that!’ If they say, ‘But I’m saying it to MYSELF,’ I say, ‘I would never let anyone say something like that to you. Why should I let YOU say it to you?’
Hoping to raise my kids to be a little nicer to themselves than I am to myself.” –JoNightshade
“Well… not very long. For the most part I’m pretty nice to myself but on hard days I often think things like “you’re not good enough. You’re such a failure.” And if someone said that to me even once I’d cut them off. I try to be nice to me though.” –owthrayaway3
“Ideally? Not long at all. In reality? Probably a very long time – years, or maybe even decades. Part of struggling with crippling depression is letting people treat you really horribly.” –clekas
“Yeah, me too tbh Or well, I’d end up not talking to them Because I’d isolate myself in my room for a couple of months and even they’d grow tired of me, but ya know I’ve had some really shitty friends in my short, short life and honestly seek out ppl who will criticise me more than they compliment me bc it makes me less uncomfortable.” –HelloThisIsFrode
“I agree with this. I just realised this and lament to myself that I wasted 20 years on such a ‘friend’. The pandemic isolation helped in bringing these thoughts to clarity and limited my availability. Thankfully I have a friend who’s really supportive and understanding so I’ve been redirecting my energy towards her.” –CheesecakeGobbler
“Along with the depression, throw in being raised by a parent with narcissistic personality disorder and you’ve got me too. I’d love so say I would kick my toxic ass to the curb, but I know I’d just take the abuse. I’ve got a recording of my mother’s greatest hits playing all the time in my head.” –LesNessmanNightcap
“Yeah, I was going to say “where do you think that voice in my head came from?” I’m no longer the person who would stay friends with someone who was mean to me, but it took awhile to get to that place. But I am still my mother’s daughter and I learned negative self-talk at her knee, listening to her guilt trip and shame herself. I think I’m much better, but I do wonder what my son will hear that I don’t even realize I’m doing.” –ElizaDooo
“The way I used to self-talk? Not for a second. It was pointed out to me by a therapist in one session–she told me one time to stop it. I stopped. I didn’t realize how much I was driving myself insane. I have an inner monologue that drones on anyway, but add in insults and barbs and it was quite brutal.
I’m glad I kicked that negativity out. Now, to address the earworms….make it stop.” –Roscoe_cracks_corn
“Not long at all. Now realizing this doesn’t magically make all my self-hate go away or build a desire to treat myself better.” –Neravariine
“I have such a friend. Over a decade so far, hopefully forever. I love her to the moon and back. She knows me truly, I can rely on her, I can trust in her honesty, I don’t have to filter sugarcoating to get down to her true opinion. She’s like a mirror, showing me all my flaws but also all my best sides. She made me a better person without ever trying to change me. She taught me better awareness towards myself, my actions and surrounding, and with this also better self-reflection and self-love. She kept me down on earth but also pulled me out of the darkest places. Everyone should have a friend like this.” –Fitzgeraldine
“Great timing for this question! I’ve been working on self compassion and trying to soften my inner critic. One thing that often I’ve been trying to remind myself is to treat me the way I treat my friends – so after a few months working on this with total awareness, I can proudly say I would be a longtime friend of mine.” –Lila007
“I kept her around for almost 2 years before I realise the way she talks to others is actually how she sees herself, which is saying a lot more than she would admit. Since she’s too stubborn to get therapy but very willing to act as a therapist (she sucks, all she ever did was doling out “tough love” cuz thats how she wants herself to be but she failed, so she expects everyone else to be tough), I cut ties w her. For good. Went to therapy myself to rid of internalized hatred I developed from being around her. She reached out once, I wasnt very keen to reconnect especially now she’s even worse after joining a church and trying to get every part of it into her life. 2 years of my life wasted on someone like that. Dont repeat my mistake.” –
“I am and always will be my own biggest hype person. If I can’t believe in myself, how can anyone? How can I achieve my goals? Internal me is also very dubious of the intentions of others. Which preserves myself, even if it does keep me distanced from others until I can truly trust them. My parents were shit. I was, by far, the most resilient of my siblings and maybe my self hype is the reason why.” –cuddlymammoth
If you’ve ever spent the night at someone else’s home, you know that there are people in the world who have house rules that can be very different from your own. From rules about drinking all of your milk cereal to not raising the volume of the television to a hearable level, different households have them all. Now, some of these crazy house rules are being shared in the comments section of an AskReddit. Not only are some of the stories and rules shared wild, some are also even a little sickening.
Check them out below!
“I had a friend who instead of washing the dishes after a meal just put them straight back in the cupboard. I thought his parents would freak out but it turns out it was just something they did in their house. Whenever I went over I always made sure to eat beforehand.” Reddit User
“Family who babysat me when I was young had a rule of “no drinking during meals” and I don’t just mean soda, juice or milk, no water until your meal is done. This was insane to me because we would be called in to supper/lunch after playing outside in the summer and weren’t allowed to drink anything until we sat down and finished our plates. Also, this rule didn’t apply to the father of the family who would often drink beer during meals.
My great-aunt had a parlor room in which all the furniture was covered in plastic and never used, it also had a plastic walkway going through the middle (just a strip of plastic cover) which was the only path you could walk on (she would flip out if you touched carpet).” –Random_White_Guy
“I wasn’t allowed to put extra salt on my food, had to be in bed by 8pm (all the way through middle school), and had to ride my bike to school everyday even though my best friends parents offered to take me.” –willwhit87
“No fighting over the heel of the bread. The father once off hand told his oldest children that the heel of a loaf of bread was the best and made them want it instead of the regular pieces. By the time there were 4 kids sometimes fist fights would break out over the heels. Loaves had been opened on both sides, or loaves were a mess because someone reached through the sack and pulled the back heel out. For a while there was a turn system where the heels were promised to a child for each loaf, but that fell apart when one went to summer camp and lost their turn. One time my friend wasted an afternoon waiting for his mother to come home with a fresh loaf of bread instead of going out and playing. I witnessed fist fights over the bread most people throw away.” –DarrenEdwards
“In college I had a friend that lived with his grandparents when he went to school. Before they’d let him leave the house his grandmother would say ‘nothing good happens after midnight’ and he would have to repeat it. If I was there, I would also have to repeat the phrase.” –iownalaptop
“I slept over a friends house in grade school one time. He prepared us a bowl of cereal the next morning for breakfast. Not thinking ANYTHING of my behavior, I didn’t finish the milk. I just never used to. I don’t know.
He was like “You uh…gonna finish that?”
“Uhhh oh…I uh…I don’t think so? Does that matter?”
He panicked. Absolutely panicked. I think he put it down the toilet before his parents came back into the room.
I don’t know what the rule was, exactly, but FINISH YOUR MILK OR DIE would be my guess based on his reaction. I still feel bad about it. I was like 8 and didn’t think.” –soomuchcoffee
“When I was a kid. I spent the night at one of my friends house. And you were allowed to drink a soda like sprite before bed. But you had to stir it till all the carbonation was gone.. Don’t ask me why…” –newvictim
“I had a friend in middle school, and his dad worked for Pepsi. No one was allowed to bring any Coke products into the house. The first time I went there his mom told me I could not come in the house because I had a Dr. Pepper. I thought she was joking and tried to walk in, but stopped me and said that if I don’t throw that in the garbage outside that I would have to leave. They were fucking serious about that shit.” – SlowRunner
“During college years, I used to visit my friend during summer months at his parents’ house, where he lived at that time. They had two odd “house rules” I’ll never forget:
We couldn’t open any window in the house (even the bathroom window) – ever! Even if it was far cooler outside than inside during the summer.
We weren’t allowed to close our bedroom doors at night, so that his parents’ cat could have free access to all rooms at all times. (This made it difficult to sleep, without a breath of air from the windows, and the cat walking over us in bed while trying to sleep.)” –Back2Bach
“I knew this family that would share the same bathwater as a means to cut down on their water bill. So when one person took a bath, they ALL took a bath that day. The waiting list was about 4-5 people deep. From what I understand, a lot of families do this, however, I just couldn’t see myself washing off in someone else’s soapy leftovers =( If that were the case, I got first dibs on getting in the bathtub first lol”- __femme_fatale__
“My ex’s family would throw all their left over food over their balconey instead of putting in the trash can. I asked them why they did that, they replied it keeps bugs away……..and didnt think rotted food right outside their door would bring bugs.” –PimemtoCheese
“I had a friend whose mom required her to sit on the floor. Never a chair, couch, bed, or other piece of furniture. I went to her house once and sat down on her bed and she flipped out, made me get off it and spent several minutes smoothing the sheets to make it look flat again. I think her mom thought “kids are dirty” but the rule was in place even after bathing and wearing clean.” –knitasha
“Went over to a school-mates’s house for dinner when I was in elementary school…his mom cut everyone’s good into little tiny bites before giving you the plate and only let us eat with a spoon… Her oldest daughter apparently choked on something once when she was a teenager and it became a rule…even on hamburger and hotdog night.” –GRZMNKY
“I was doing a project with a classmate at her house and on our way to her house we stopped at a store and picked up some snacks. We did our schoolwork and then just kind of played and messed around while eating those snacks. Then her mom came home and lost her absolute shit about the snacks. It wasn’t so much that we had eaten them, it was because the snacks had crumbs that had contaminated their otherwise purified home.
My friend had to stop everything and vacuum the entire house to get every crumb of snack, then take the nearly empty vacuum bag, the empty snack bags, and the half-empty but “contaminated” bag of kitchen trash outside and ask one of the neighbors if she could put it in their garbage bin because not a crumb of that kind of food was allowed on the property in any form after sunset. My mom picked me up and as I was leaving they were doing some additional purification ritual and my friend was praying for forgiveness for having potentially defiled their home.
Turns out they were 7th Day Adventist and it was against their code or whatever to have leavened foods in their house/property during a certain period of time? I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember it was a pretty big thing about how every crumb had to be removed from the property ASAP.” – alexa-488
“My neighborhood friend and I would hang out almost every day of the summer. We would go out exploring in the woods with a bunch of our friends and would usually come back all muddy and tired. My friend was very nice and would offer me water and food. His parents would take those away from me if they saw me with them saying they were only for their children. He was always allowed to eat at our house yet I’d have to walk back if they started having any type of meal. The worst though was his next door neighbor who had a daughter our age and when we were hanging out we all got muddy (we were 10) the girls mom proceeded to take her daughter and my friend into her house to clean them up and told me I wasn’t allowed to enter and that I could use the hose. Some people just know how to ruin a kid’s self esteem.” –boomsloth