Culture

Anyone Who Ever Hated Going To Church Will Relate To Doing These 9 Things

Church was the worst for me as a child, so I did everything I could so that mami would change her mind about bringing me. Eventually, she did. But not before I left my mark on the congregation with the following sins.

1. Lit every single prayer candle. All of them.

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It’s so tempting. I couldn’t help it.

2. I snapped the pew “hat clips” as loudly as I could.

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3. Lifting, dropping, standing, sitting and then balancing on church pew kneelers.

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Credit: Stewart’s / Giphy

You saw a place to kneel and pray. I saw a balance beam to practice for the Olympics.


4. Playing with the Holy Water.

Translation: God bless everyone #lol #holywatergun #yuhh

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Using a water gun would have been the best way. Too bad I didn’t think of it. Either way, I would splash and mess with Holy Water. Mostly flicking it at other kids from my dripping finger tips.


5. Giggling, coughing, burping and sneezing louder than I had to.

Loud Noises

6. Left no donations whatsoever.

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Even though I had no money to give it was still “Bye, donation plate! DAB!”


7. I would never sit still.

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Credit: Rainer Vogel / Youtube / Blues Brothers

As long as I was forced to be there, the church was going to be my playground. I ran, jumped and climbed.


8. I played rough with the other kids.

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Some of the other boys were as bored as I was. We needed to spice things up. A little rumble got the juices flowing.


9. And when all else failed, I slept.

Credit: Giphy / Simpsons

There’s no way to know if I snored on command or not, but I sure hope I did, because I was trying to.


Eventually, mami wised up and stopped bringing me. I’m sure she and the congregation got back to enjoying themselves.

Credit: Giphy / reactiongifs / Reddit / Sister Act

And I got back to sleeping in late. ???


READ: How Churches Are Helping Immigrants


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People Are Torn On A California Church’s Political Nativity Scene Calling Attention To Immigration Crisis

Things That Matter

People Are Torn On A California Church’s Political Nativity Scene Calling Attention To Immigration Crisis

Claremont United Methodist Church

It is the holiday season so you know people and churches are getting their nativity scenes together. Most are just run-of-the-mill nativity scenes with the animals, wise men, baby Jesus, and his parents Mary and Joseph. However, one church in California used its nativity scene to call attention to the humanitarian crisis on the southern border with children in cages. Here’s how they did it and how people on social media are reacting.

Claremont United Methodist Church is using its nativity scene this year to highlight the immigration crisis on the southern border.

Credit: @LATBermudez / Instagram

The Methodist church has a statement on their website directly address the crisis of asylum-seeking children at the southern border. For months, we have seen images of children taken away from their parents at the border and put into cages.

Claremont United Methodist Church wants people to know that the asylum crisis is devastating innocent families.

Credit: macmanx2 / Instagram

“We at Claremont United Methodist Church (CUMC) responded swiftly to the need of over 2,700 children of immigrants seeking asylum at the US/Mexican border. These children were forcibly taken from their parents and scattered throughout the United States in April and May of 2018,” reads a statement by Rose Schneeberger on the Claremont United Methodist Church website. “Our church raised over $10,000 to assist with the legal representation of separated children through Justice for Our Neighbors (JFON). The plight continues as more families have been detained in the last couple of months and the number of children separated from their family continues to grow.”

The church’s nativity scene is showing people what the fate of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph would have had to endure if they were migrants to the U.S. today.

Credit: macmanx2 / Instagram

“In a time in our country when refugee families seek asylum at our border and are unwillingly separated from one another, we consider the most well-known refugee family in the world, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the Holy Family,” reads a plaque in front of the nativity scene. “Shortly after the birth of Jesus, Joseph and Mary were forced to flee with their young son from Nazareth to Egypt to escape King Herod, a tyrant. They feared persecution and death.”

“What if this family sought refuge in our country today?”

“Imagine Joseph and Mary separated at the border and Jesus, no older than two, taken from his mother and placed behind the fences of a Border Patrol detention center as more than 5,500 children have been the past three years.”

“Jesus grew up to teach us kindness and mercy and a radical welcome of all people.”

“He said: ‘I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me.’ – Matthew 25:35”

“In the Claremont United Methodist Church nativity scene this Christmas, the Holy Family takes the place of the thousands of nameless families separated at our border.”

“Inside the church, you will see this same family reunited, the Holy Family together, in a nativity that joins the angels in singing.”

“‘Glory to God in the highest on earth, peace and good will to all.’ – Luske 2:14.

People on social media are moved by the powerful image of the church’s nativity.

Credit: @thugbro_s / Instagram

It truly is a striking image to see the classic nativity scene turned into a powerful political statement about our immigration policy. Seeing baby Jesus in a manger separated from his parents into cages is something many people never thought they’d see.

People immediately saw the comparison of the nativity and our current immigration system.

Credit: @universalceo0 / Twitter

“In addition to the remaining separated children, there are over 15,000 youth and children at detention facilities throughout the United States,” reads a statement by Rose Schneeberger on the Claremont United Methodist Church website. “The CUMC Creative Peacemaking Committee has decided to keep our congregation aware of this urgent need and to encourage church members to continue to support the efforts of JFON by donating funds for the legal representation of separated children and asylum-seeking families currently in detention centers.”

Some people tried to argue with the church’s message to fit their political agendas.

Credit: @isooner / Twitter

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, according to the Bible, were forced to leave Nazareth and go to Egypt in order to avoid persecution. The family’s story of fleeing to a new country in search of safety and protection from a tyrant king seeking to persecute them is reminiscent of the families seeking asylum and peace in the U.S.

Others are showing the true conditions of the U.S. detention centers.

Credit: @ElSrdelTaco / Twitter

The conditions along the southern border have been in the news for years. Reports of overcrowding, unsanitary conditions, and multiple deaths have highlighted the dangers of those in detention centers. Many of the facilities are housing more people than physically possible after the Trump administration’s crackdown on immigration.

Basically, people are upset that a church would use a nativity scene to get people talking about the immigration crisis because it worked.

Credit: @1600PAave / Twitter

What do you think about the nativity scene at Claremont United Methodist Church?

READ: Mexican Government Makes It Illegal To Buy And Sell The Moss Families Use To Create Their Nacimientos

A Mexican Church Might Have ‘Accidentally’ Commissioned The Largest Baby Jesus Statue In The World

Culture

A Mexican Church Might Have ‘Accidentally’ Commissioned The Largest Baby Jesus Statue In The World

@zacatecasonline / Twitter

A Mexican church has erected what might be the world’s largest-ever baby Jesus statue, but the Internet thinks it deserves another recognition: The World’s Largest Phil Collins Statue. La Epifanía del Señor church in Zacatecas, Mexico reportedly commissioned the larger-than-life “Niño Dios” or “God Child” statue without realizing it would break a Guinness World Record. “There is a space of between 26 feet between the ceiling and the floor and I ordered a statue measuring 21 feet, but I never intended to make it the biggest baby Jesus statue in the world,” Rev. Humberto Rodriguez told Central European News. Now, the Niño Dios is getting more press for its uncanny resemblance to British singer Phil Collins.

When you see it, you might know why.

While the rest of us are dusting off our tiny baby Jesus nativity sets, this Mexican reverend inadvertently commissioned the largest baby Jesus statue in world history.

CREDIT: @JOSEMANUELRADIO / TWITTER

The statue is nearly 22 feet tall and weighs in at 2,000 pounds. Artist Roman Salvador built the statue out of fiberglass, resin, automotive paste, and paint in Chimalhuacán under the specific instructions of Rev. Rodriguez. Then, the enormous statue was carefully transported 12 hours to Zacatecas. Once it arrived, the church decided to do more than just wonder aloud if its the largest baby Jesus ever created. They started looking into it and found that the last record-holder for the biggest baby Jesus statue was a mere 16 feet tall and 661 pounds, more than 30 percent smaller than Salvador’s statue. The church officially submitted its claim to Guinness World Records, which, if approved, would make it the “largest baby Jesus statue,” according to an email exchange between Guinness and The New York Post. That is if they don’t determine it’s, in fact, the largest erected statue of Phil Collins.

“In the “The Epiphany of the Lord” church of #Zacatecas, do they have a huge statue of the “Child God” Or Phil Collins?” asked radio host Jose Manuel on Twitter. Rev. Rodriguez has yet to comment on the Internet’s reaction to the statue.

The Internet is doing its thing and the comparisons are truly uncanny, down to hairs on their heads.

CREDIT: @THEJAYSAURUS / TWITTER

This baby Jesus has a mullet, and a single tuft of hair resting atop its balding head, just like Phil Collins once did. He’s completely bald now and is mostly seen wearing baseball caps. The artist, who rose to fame in the 1980s, found success in his very first band, called Genesis, where he started as a drummer and later became the lead singer after Peter Gabriel left. Some of his song titles include, “Jesus He Knows Me,” “In the Air Tonight,” “Another Day in Paradise,” “Something Happened on the Way to Heaven,” and “No Son of Mine.” So, you can imagine, the Twitter thread is getting very punny.

Jesus he knows me, and he knows I’m right. He was in a band called Genesis! It all makes sense now,” tweeted Any Pag (@andybutshorter). “He’s no son of mine!” tweets Donald Twain (@donaldtwain1). “Just another day in paradise,” Gary Crosbie (@GaryCrosbie5) tweets, quoting Collins’ lyrics. “Well well well, it seems @PhilCollinsFeed didn’t just know Jesus, he was actually Jesus…” tweets Michael McCarthy (@McCarthyMR).

While some others are more closely comparing the Niño Dios to American actor Nicholas Cage.

CREDIT: @RIBALCOR / TWITTER

“”Phil Collins is NOT the baby jesus”, and other things I didn’t think I’d say today… ” tweeted Hell’en Bach (@TheHamsterIsDed) For the folks who can’t decide whether the statue looks more like Collins or Cage, listen to Temi Russel (@TemiRussell): “What if Phil collins and Nicolas Cage had a baby?” We have our answers now. But we still have more questions…

Like, why is this Mexican church’s baby Jesus so white, though?

CREDIT: @EMMGZSZ78 / TWITTER

“Viene por nosotoros!” or “He comes for us!” tweeted Emmanuel alongside his photoshopped masterpiece featuring Jesus/Phil with red lasers coming out of his eyes. Aside from the resemblance to the ’80s drummer, folks have questions about this particular ‘body of Christ.’ “Does baby Jesus have abs or moobs?” asks Iscribe (@iscribe). Why would a Mexican church’s resemblance of Jesus look so much like a white British man anyway?

 “I am brown. There has never been a white christ,” tweeted Jesus Hedge Fund Apocalypse (@FundJesus).  “How come even Mexican Jesus is white?
The propaganda runs deep.” 
tweets Jhark Greycap (@JharkG). #MakeJesusBrownAgain

READ: Mexican Government Makes It Illegal To Buy And Sell The Moss Families Use To Create Their Nacimientos