Anyone Who Ever Hated Going To Church Will Relate To Doing These 9 Things

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Church was the worst for me as a child, so I did everything I could so that mami would change her mind about bringing me. Eventually, she did. But not before I left my mark on the congregation with the following sins.

1. Lit every single prayer candle. All of them.

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It’s so tempting. I couldn’t help it.

2. I snapped the pew “hat clips” as loudly as I could.


I’d snap these bad boys back like a gun trigger, and the sound would be just as loud. BANG! Right as we were entering quiet prayer, basically to protest having had to go at all.

3. Lifting, dropping, standing, sitting and then balancing on church pew kneelers.

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You saw a place to kneel and pray. I saw a balance beam to practice for the Olympics.

4. Playing with the Holy Water.

Translation: God bless everyone #lol #holywatergun #yuhh

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Using a water gun would have been the best way. Too bad I didn’t think of it. Either way, I would splash and mess with Holy Water. Mostly flicking it at other kids from my dripping finger tips.

5. Giggling, coughing, burping and sneezing louder than I had to.

Loud Noises

It really didn’t matter which sounds I made, as long as I was disturbing everyone with my boredom.

6. Left no donations whatsoever.

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Even though I had no money to give it was still “Bye, donation plate! DAB!”

7. I would never sit still.

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As long as I was forced to be there, the church was going to be my playground. I ran, jumped and climbed.

8. I played rough with the other kids.

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Some of the other boys were as bored as I was. We needed to spice things up. A little rumble got the juices flowing.

9. And when all else failed, I slept.

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There’s no way to know if I snored on command or not, but I sure hope I did, because I was trying to.

Eventually, mami wised up and stopped bringing me. I’m sure she and the congregation got back to enjoying themselves.

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And I got back to sleeping in late. ???

READ: How Churches Are Helping Immigrants

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Here's How Diego Luna's Wonderful Mexican Accent Is Getting The VR Treatment


Here’s How Diego Luna’s Wonderful Mexican Accent Is Getting The VR Treatment

Baobab Studios / YOUTUBE / ficgguadalajara / Flickr

Baobab Studios / YouTube

From his performance as Captain Cassian Andor in “Rogue One,” to his Corona “Wall” collaboration, Luna has seemingly conquered reality. So it makes sense that his next project is in the realm of VR (virtual reality). The 37-year-old actor was just cast to lend his voice to the cast of the animated series “Rainbow Crow.” As Deadline Hollywood reported, “Rainbow Crow” is a Native American — the Lenape tribe, specifically — story about a time before humans, when the world was always sunny and forrest animals lived a carefree existence. Unfortunately for the animals, darkness and snows descended upon the land, leaving the animals in need of a hero: the Rainbow Crow.

Adding their voice talents to the cast is Constance Wu, of “Fresh Off The Boat” fame.

Speaking on the amazing talent attached to the project, Baobob Productions CEO Maureen Fan said, “We are thrilled that Diego Luna and Constance Wu feel that Rainbow Crow is an important story to tell and have come on board. ‘Rainbow Crow’ is a tale about sacrifice, diversity, and self-acceptance, so we are proud to have an incredibly distinctive cast of talented storytellers who share our values. We can’t wait for audiences to experience what these wonderful actors have created.”

The “Rainbow Crow” VR experience will be on display April 21st through April 30th at the Tribeca Film Festival.

If you happen to be in the area, be sure to keep your ears peeled for Luna’s character, Moth.

READ: Here’s What Your Mom’s Scary Phrases Would Look Like If They Were Horror Movie Posters

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